Even with the best intentions, many of us believe that our emotions are out of our control, that they happen spontaneously, and that we handle them in a multitude of ways. But in fact, there are four basic ways in which people deal with emotion. Do you recognize any of these? Once you identify your primary strategy for dealing with emotions, you can shift to an approach that truly works for you.
The first defense against negative emotions is avoidance. We all want to avoid difficult or painful emotions. As a result, we tend to avoid any situation that could lead to the emotions we fear, or worse, try not to feel any emotions at all. While avoiding negative situations may protect us in the short term, it also keeps us from feeling the very emotions — connection, energy, excitement — that we desire most.
The second defense against stress is outright denial. When you experience an emotion and try to deny what you’re feeling, your emotions will simply intensify. The pressure will build and what you are trying to ignore will resurface – potentially at an inconvenient time.
The worst addiction facing people today is not drugs, it’s not alcohol, it’s problems. Often, after moving past avoidance and denial, we decide to stop fighting our painful emotions and decide to fully indulge in them. Rather than learn what our feelings are trying to tell us, we get our fix of significance by making our problem worse that everyone else’s. It becomes a “badge of courage,” and we begin to compete with others, saying, “You think you’ve got it bad? Let me tell you how bad I’ve got it!” Do yourself a favor and get your need for significance met for doing something positive rather than for your problems.
Learning and Using
Truth: Problems are gifts. Our biggest problem is we think we shouldn’t have problems. Albert Einstein put it this way, “Crisis is the greatest blessing for people and nations, because crisis brings on progress…He who blames his own failures and difficulties to crisis, rapes his own talent and gives more importance to problems than to solutions.” Leaders use their pain. Find a way to use stress and pain to serve you.
Adapted from- Team Tony.
Surround yourself with positive people!
If you are ever going to live a satisfying, meaningful and successful life, the kind of people you surround yourself with plays an important role. It is being said that you are who you surround yourself with. If you hang out with positive people, you’ll be a positive person and if you hang out with negative people, you’ll definitely see life from a negative angle.
Try to answer these questions;
Who is on your team?
Who do you hang out with?
Who are those you spend most of your time with?
Are they people that build you up or the ones that pull you down?
Are they feeding the positive side of you or the ones that feeds the negativity?
Birds of a feather flock together. Many friends don’t have anything good to offer. They are with you to only impact you negatively.
If you keep friends that don’t add to you in any way, I bet they are not worthy to be called your friends. Don’t not worry about what they think of you. There will always be those who want to see you fail simply because they can’t succeed.
Beware of toxic and negative relatives, friends or colleagues. Flee from them as fast as you can because they don’t deserve you. It is impossible for negative people to bring forth anything positive out of you. Negative people possess negative mindset.
They see no reason to pursue their dreams because they already saw it as an impossible task even right before they started it. They might not have ever imagined what you must be willing to achieve. They can never let you succeed in such a situation.
Possibility doesn’t exist in their dictionary. When you tell negative people about your dreams, they tell you only about the challenges in order to make you lose focus. They hardly see the goals. For you to achieve success, you need to first imbibe a positive mindset yourself. You need to see possibilities in your dreams. Then surround yourself with positive people that believe in your dreams. People that build you up mentally, physically and spiritually. People that are ready to influence you positively. People that you learn from always. People that their advices you can’t joke with. People that make you believe success is achievable! Because that is why you are here. You deserve success.
You must pursue the greatness you have, you are born with huge potential and you have no right to limit yourself. You have to and you MUST succeed.