Question : Are there divine preferences, divine injustices and divine irregularities?
Mahatria: It may appear so, but Existential Order is always zero defect. Everything is as it should be. There are no irregularities in Existence. If I may use a metaphor, it doesn’t matter how noble hearted one is, but if he doesn’t know how to drive and yet attempts to drive a vehicle, he is sure to meet with an accident. The suffering of most people is that though they may be good, though they may believe in god, they have failed to develop the competence to live life.
We just believe that worshiping god or the messengers of god or the incarnations of god is sufficient to earn His blessing. We are lost in the ignorance that god will come and save us just as an answer to all our pujas, rituals and offerings. We choose to make various kinds of offerings as kickbacks to please the Lord and expedite matters for us, tilt opportunities in our favour, prolong the life of our loved ones, etc… but we have conveniently chosen to ignore principles like Honesty, Integrity, Karma and so many other virtues, which find common mention across all scriptures.
Think about it. If worshipping the Lord is sufficient, then why the Bible? Why the Koran? Why the Bhagawad Gita? Why any scripture for that matter? In fact, the very basis of every scripture is to teach you and me the components of Existential Order, so that you and I can live our lives in alignment with the Existential Order. Even if you are a maths teacher’s son, if two plus two is written as three, you are wrong. Even if you know nothing about the examiner, if two plus two is written as four, you are right.
Even those who do not know ‘Who is god?’, even those who do not believe in the existence of god, as long as they live in alignment to the Existential Order, which is what every scripture is all about, they will always be blessed by His grace. The more you are aligned to the Existential Order, the more you’ll experience His Grace. Grace is the spiritual reward for aligning yourself to the Existential Order.
Suffering is a spiritual feedback that somewhere you have lost your alignment to the Existential Order. God is not a matter of belief, but a matter of alignment.Why did the incarnate Krishna waste his time preaching eighteen chapters, answering and clarifying every question of Arjuna? Krishna could have simply told Arjuna – go around me thrice, pour some milk and ghee over me, smear sandalwood paste all over your body, fall at my feet four times and just shoot your arrows. Then, why at all the Bhagawad Gita?
If going to church on Sunday mornings and faith in Christ are enough, then why did Christ waste three years of his life sermonising ‘Dos’ and ‘Don’ts’ which became the Bible? If doing Namaz five times a day is enough, then why all those ‘Dos’ and ‘Don’ts’ in the Koran?
The Mahabharata shows that Duryodana took all the resources of Krishna, and that was not enough. Arjuna had Krishna himself, and that too was not enough. Only when Arjuna understood the Dharma (Existential Order) and acted in alignment with it was he able to emerge victorious. The message is clear and simple – god does not work for you; He works with you. His design is such that the only way He can work with you is when you live in alignment with the Existential Order.
If god is the Messenger, the scriptures are his Message. The only way to have the grace of the Messenger is to live by the Message. It is just not enough to value the Master… you must Master the values. Be devoted to the Messenger, but be disciplined by the Message.
Extracts from “Clarity is Power”.
“If you can change your mind, you can change your life.
What you believe creates the actual fact.
The greatest revolution of my generation is to discover that
Individuals, by changing their inner attitudes of mind, can change
the outer aspects of their lives.”
– William James
Transform self-sabotage into success. By discovering the positive intent behind a negative behavior or attitude,
you can release tremendous energy and positive commitment. In his outstanding book Sleight Of Mouth:
The Magic Of Conversational Belief Change, master trainer and famous NLP developer Robert Dilts says:
“At some level all behavior is (or at one time was) “positively intended.” It is or was perceived as appropriate given the context in which it was established, from the point of view of the person whose behavior it is. It is easier and more productive to respond to the intention rather than the expression of a problematic behavior. “
Here are the steps to Find Positive Intentions in the whatever you do…
Step #1. Define the problem.
Briefly state the problem with enough detail so that it is clear in your mind. Mind must be clear about what
the exact problem is. It may primarily be a situation, personal problem, or a challenge. Define what meaning you
give to an Unproductive Behavior. Be clear about what behavior is productive. State the reason for the meaning you gave,
why any particular behavior is unproductive as per you. You must be clear about it, with no confusions.
Step #2. Reveal the Underlying Motives
Take a few minutes to relax, breathe deeply and lay back. Now, go inside, imagine your mind has special internal messengers.”
These are parts of your personality, which have characteristic tendencies or habitual behaviors.
Find the part that is responsible for generating the unproductive behavior.
Bring this part into awareness as though it were a complete personality.
Remember that a part is an aspect of you.
A part is like a little personality inside of you. In order to be aligned and successful,
you must not work at cross purposes with yourself. This requires negotiating or working with your parts.
Now imagine that you can do a role playing game with this particular part. Ask the part what it
wanted to have, do or become, through the negative behavior or attitude. What value or benefit it
expects to get from this. Ask directly, “What did you wish for me to accomplish by doing this?”
Take as much time as you need to imagine and listen to the part’s responses.
Step #3. Get to the core motives.
Keep asking “why” and “what” questions to clarify the motives. Recycle each answer into a new question.
Practice questioning until you feel that you have gotten to the core motives. You should identify a
core belief along with the core value and core reasons for the behaviors or attitudes that, at first glance,
seem to be unsupportive of you.
It’s time to take care of you. Live your dream. Do what you know and not what you feel. Listen to what your heart says, listen to what you always asked for. You deserve to live too! You have needs too!
Give yourself a mental break and take time to get centered, grounded and reconnected with your spirit. Allowing your time to be wasted with people who are not serious is not fruitful and it’s stressful. Be with the ones who Inspires you instead of those who stops you.
Staying in a job where you are not appreciated or valued or validated is draining and toxic. They don’t deserve you. Hanging on to a relationship that has been dead a long time ago takes a toll. Finish it off now, take a stand !!! Take a deep breath and tap into the courage to make the tough decision.
Things might be difficult for a while, but don’t underestimate yourself. You are Blessed with huge Potentials. Have Faith in The Almighty and Trust Self. Follow your Intuition, everything is already there for you. All you need do is to trust them have faith in it and open your divine heart to receive it. Intuitions will show you ways to get your desires manifested and believe me these will lead you on the right path if you have faith in your inner self. With this you will experience greatest transformation within yourself.
Music, movies, friends and fairy tales teach us how to love but they don’t teach us what not to do and where it can go wrong. Will you accept any suggestion without asking a single question about it? Don’t you argue to a statement said by a friend or a teacher or anyone who you think is trying to advice you?
Then how can you accept such lessons without questioning , this can be dangerous to the health of your relationships. Here are five myths that can kill any love relationship.
You’ll be wise to avoid them.
- Love is enough.
- There is nothing to learn.
- If you love me, you’ll _______.
- My mate will change.
- I’ll do my half.
- Love is enough.
This is a lie. Love alone is not enough to hold you together. There must be communication, a sense of togetherness and understanding each other is an important part of any relationship. Life brings with it challenges. There comes a point when you now have to find out how to share the same house, the same room, the same bed, and the same money you have.
This will be no longer a dating scene as it used to be, you now have new friends, relatives, and strangers to deal with. Those charming things you like about each other are now with you all the time. Closeness brings intimacy but it also brings a need to change and adapt. Change is difficult. You can tolerate so much of change that won’t affect you.
In fact, studies show that living together before marriage is an indicator for a higher chance of divorce. Even though you can’t avoid problems, you can prevent their damage. What you can do is to create a safe environment at home where you can talk with each other, get some time to communicate with each other. When you can talk without fear of criticism, anger, or any other lack of support, you can talk about anything. Problems can only be solved when you can talk as true partners, without any fear of one denying other.
- There is nothing to learn
Since love is not enough and you were probably not taught neither you were keen to learn how to communicate and solve problems, it’s time to learn. Even couples who have come from the best of homes probably never saw their parents solve problems. What they often get to see is a conflict in place every third day and then none of them talking to one another till the weekend. Parents rarely are able to teach their children the skills for handling difficult times and the skills for keeping love alive.
As your relation celebrates more days adding into it making it closer to one more anniversary, romance takes a backseat. Romance often get reduced gradually with the time, there can be many reasons for the same. As you grow through life, you will change. Your partner will change. Your relationship will change. If you stay open to accepting change, you can grow from it rather than resisting it.
Learning who you are and who your partner is can be a wonderful experience. Just remember that it doesn’t stop when you think you have learned everything from the past. You have the present and the future to look forward to.
- If you love me, you’ll _______.
Fill in the blank with what comes to mind.
Some popular ones are: …you’ll change, know what I need, do what I want, give in, and just trust me. This statement makes love conditional upon the other person doing what you ask as a proof of their love. Such expectation of conditional love is dangerous. There is a dark translation to this type of expectation. What you are saying, in effect is, “I don’t trust your love so you better prove it to me now.”, or “I don’t care enough about you to consider your feelings, wants, and needs. What I want is more important.”
This type of statement can be a warning sign. Demand and conditional love usually say more about the person making the statement than about the recipient. It speaks to an unreasonable expectation that may be motivated by a lack of care about the partner or by a personal lack of self-esteem. Expectations of “knowing what I need” demand that your partner have the ability to mind read. I noticed it many times that your girl will not ask for what she need, thinking as if you know her demands. You are in a relationship doesn’t mean that you know everything about your partner. You are not a mind reader I believe!!! They must tell what they need and what they don’t.
The only way your partner can know what you need, want, feel, or think is your telling them. Good communication is a powerful tool for understanding. On the other hand, it is not unreasonable to have expectations of your partner in the relationship. How you voice them is important.
- My mate will change.
Yes, they will and you have no control. The people who expect there mate to change in the way they want are the ones who gets disappointed. The only person you can ever change is yourself. This can be a relationship killing expectation, as no one changes for anybody and no one actually should change for any person except himself/herself. In many cases, they expect there partner to change for example If he is a foodie and you cannot expect him to be on diet as soon as he marries you !!!
Such demands are unreasonable, unwelcome, and unlikely to succeed.
People change because they want to not because you want them to. And all people change and grow as they age. But people rarely change for the better when they are under pressure from someone else…even a loved one.
The strongest relationships are founded on the commitment of two strong individuals who bring themselves to the relationship. It means compromise, growth and change but it does not mean giving in to the unreasonable demands of another. The article, Change and Grow has some further insights on this subject.
- I’ll do my half.
It’s about compromising several times; you compromise because you love your partner. There is no such thing as a truly successful long term marriage where each partner gives only their half (50%). The only truth is that our expectations for a fairy tale marriage lead us down the road to disappointment, disillusionment, and divorce.
“I’ve had it. You’re selfish. If you really loved me, you’d understand what I need. I’ve been giving and giving and I get nothing in return. You don’t give me what I want anymore. Maybe we should get divorced.” This conversation or others like it is held are more common in relationships these days. Being in a relationship is not that easy and magical as they show us on television or movies. It takes lot of efforts; it’s about keeping aside your ego. Sometimes you have to fight with your own-self. Relationships can provide you immense pleasure and strength but when it comes to hardships this can let you experience the worst.
The truth will help you create your role in a positive lifetime marriage. The Truth: Men and women are not equal. Thank God. We are different as individuals and, in that difference, lies part of the answer to a happy marriage. What we choose to do with those differences determines, perhaps more than love, what our relationship will look like. And it’s not a fifty-fifty deal. A truly happy and lifetime marriage relationship is a seventy five: seventy five proposition (75:75) and all marriages will have problems at some time. It’s inevitable. Differences and intimacy are a recipe for conflict.
By giving more than half, with the faith that you are both committed to the same marriage team and by communicating for understanding, with the goal of a winning marriage, you can overcome the inevitable problems of creating a happy married life. You can prosper and be happy when you each give seventy five percent to your marriage.
When you know that your partner is contributing more than their fair share, it’s easier for you to do the same. Even though the fairy tales aren’t always right, there can be a happy ending; a happy married life for those of you who commit to giving more to your marriage. When you communicate for understanding, and make your relationship a priority, you do have a chance of succeeding where so many other millions have failed. Yes, it takes work.