Tag: Psychology

How I Combat Depression and Anxiety – Jyoti Kalra

Modern life is full of stress. No one can escape it. Invariably we all become victims of it, howsoever nicely we organize our home, health, finance and relationships but one thing or the other crops up and saps our energy. Sometimes, life seems unmanageable and we rush to psychiatrists,healers, tarot readers and what not. I […]

Not sure if you have claircognizance as an intuitive ability yet?

Claircognizance is the intuitive ability of clear knowing. People that have natural claircognitive abilities are logical, enjoy thinking things out and frequently get ideas that suddenly pop into their head. They can receive answers to questions that they ask internally within their mind, such as when asking, “What was that word . .” and then suddenly, […]

The Serenity Prayer and 16 Variations – You won’t find a better definition of wisdom.

  I’m a Taowinist, a cross between a Taoist and a Darwinist. I remember the night I realized it. I was reading Alan Watts on Taoism and this sentence jumped out at me: The lifestyle of one who follows the Tao must be thought of as a form of intelligence. That is, knowing the patterns, structures, and trends […]

How to Know When To Walk Away From A Relationship.

Have you ever noticed that when you break up with someone, your friends and family automatically become super honest about how they felt about your (now former) significant other? They suddenly feel free to take open shots at how she walked, talked, dressed, and lived.

When I was younger, I was dating a girl I really liked, but my friends knew she wasn’t the right one for me. We were going in different directions socially and spiritually, but because my friends knew I really liked her, they felt paralyzed by the unwritten laws of friendship, which prohibited them from voicing their complaints.

I should have walked away from the relationship a year or so before it ended, but I was too blind and apathetic to make the shift. Once things were over between us, all my friends and family began to divulge their raw opinions about her. Their judgments didn’t reveal any new information, but rather drew attention to problems I didn’t have the guts to face during the relationship.

We’ve all been on one end of this conversation or the other. You’ve either been the person giving the raw opinion or receiving it. We’ve said and heard, “Oh, I never thought he was that great of a guy in the first place. I’m glad you guys are over.”

But this begs the question: Where are our friends and family in the middle of our romantic relationships? Why aren’t they speaking up then? The unfortunate reality is that oftentimes, our loved ones are right in front of us, giving signs of caution the whole time — we just aren’t listening.

Don’t see singleness as a bad place to be

If we’re being honest, we don’t recognize the signs of caution because we really don’t want to. When we’re falling in love, we consistently give our significant other the benefit of the doubt. We make excuses for the person we are falling for because we want and need them to be as awesome as we had hoped they would be. If it turns out they’re not, we would be back to square one.

Singleness can feel so burdensome that we’d rather be with someone who is moderately close to our standards than return to lonely Friday nights and Netflix series. So even when signs of caution are staring us in the face, we reason that being with anybody is a lesser evil than being alone. This makes deciding when to walk away from a relationship especially difficult.

The first thing you have to understand is that singleness is not a bad place to be.

Perhaps the greatest gift your love life can receive is an accurate view of singleness. Singleness is not a disease, but rather a season of life designed to help shape you into the best you. It’s an era in which you can try the things you won’t be able to do when you have the responsibility of raising a family. This is the time to compile a bucket list of what you’d like to achieve before marriage.

When I was single, I started two businesses and traveled like crazy. I picked places I wanted to go, friends I wanted to see, and goals I wanted to achieve. It was a time when I could fail a business and it wouldn’t affect an entire family.

Singleness is an opportunity that most people waste on looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right. But it doesn’t have to be merely a stepping-stone on the way to something greater; it could be a decade you devote to dreams and passions. So walking away from a relationship is not the end of the world — instead, it could be the beginning of your destiny.

Let your community be honest with you

Secondly, you have to listen to your community. Your friends and family who witness your relationships will never truthfully tell you how they feel unless you invite them to do so. In fact, it’s the only way people are honest with us about anything.

So if you’re not dating within a community, find one. Have your significant other hang out with your family or friends — and later on, privately ask them to give you honest feedback about your new love interest.

Your mom might not like her. Your dad may love her. Your best friend may think she’s not the one. You want to seek counsel from the people you trust the most — and also have good relational track records themselves.

Rarely will your entire community of trusted advisors be split down the middle in their opinion of a person. Usually, your family and friends will get a resounding feeling when they meet your significant other. Pay attention and heed what they have to say, and you’ll find yourself making the right decision.

However, in order to receive a fair assessment, be careful of how you talk about your significant other. I had a friend in college who once asked me about a girl he was dating. They were having some serious problems at the time and he wanted to hear my perspective. I told him straight up, “I think she has a horrible attitude and treats you like crap.” He responded with a “Wow.”

Moreover, I told him that the reason I felt that way about her was because that’s the picture of her he had painted in my mind. He depicted her as the witch and himself as the prince. Although this was the first time he had asked my opinion, this was not the first time he had told me about her — and he would only tell me about her when they were having problems.

We don’t naturally tell our friends what’s going on in our relationships when things are all sunshine and rainbows because it’s not juicy. “Hey, we went to dinner tonight, held hands, and encouraged each other for an hour. It was great!” — this is not the text you’d normally send to your friends.

However, if you have a fight, then you have something worthy of a phone call. And when we do share news of a fight, we rarely use statements like, “I was totally wrong.” So instead, try to give your family and friends the whole picture. That way, when they do give their perspective of the relationship, it’s not a flawed one.

Don’t stay because you fear being alone

Ultimately, if you want to stay in your relationship because you’re afraid that nothing else better will come along, then you’re simply settling. You have to trust that if you’re making the right decisions for the right reasons, God will bring you exactly whom he’s designed you to be with.

However, a relationship sustained by a fear of not having anyone at all will lead to a very unpleasant marriage and potential divorce. If you have a gut feeling that you’re not supposed to be in that relationship and your community of family and friends are in agreement, take that combination for what it’s worth: a pretty good sign that it’s time to walk away.

 

Author:  Ryan and Amanda Leak

Source: 

You Know It, but You Don’t Want to Admit It: 7 Signs He’s Not The One

If I’m honest, I spent a good chunk of my adult dating life trying to make toxic relationships work. I could see the issues, the inevitable end-date, but I chose to ignore them in an effort to push on and push past the problems. But the truth is, once you spot one of these seven telltale signs he’s not The One for you, there’s only one thing left to do—and that’s pull the plug.

 

not the one

1. You don’t trust him. Whether you caught him in a lie or 10, or your instincts are setting off alarm bells every time he offers a new excuse for why he was late, there’s just something about this guy that breeds distrust deep in your gut. If you can’t trust what he says or does 99 percent of the time—we can make allowances for white lies used to plan surprise birthday parties or whisk you away on romantic weekend getaways—he’s not the guy for you.

2. You spend more time thinking about what’s wrong with him than what you like about him. No guy bats 1,000. Even the right guy will sometimes forget what you tell him, won’t always show his appreciation, and will say the wrong things. But if all you can focus on are this man’s flaws, it’s time to move on to someone whose missteps you’re able to accept.

3. When it comes to the big things, you have opposite opinions. Turning a blind eye to the fact that he’s an atheist while you believe in God, or that you envision a family of four while he desires to go kid-free, isn’t an effective solution for a long-term relationship. Yes, you can overcome small differences—and can even compromise on some larger issues—but there are just some things where a difference in opinion equals a deal-breaker.

4. Sex with him is just OK. Some couples go through temporary sex ruts, but what I’m referring to is a sex life so stunted it could put you to sleep paired with a guy who refuses to address your concerns, listen to your desires, and meet your needs. A guy who’s willing to work on things in and out of the bedroom to bring you pleasure is a keeper; one who cares only for his own orgasms or refuses to change between the sheets is not.

5. He’s super fun to be with—when you’re in the same room. You have a blast when you’re together, but this guy all but forgets your name when you’re apart. He doesn’t make an effort to see you, nor does he communicate while he’s away. A man who’s worth your time will make the time for you in return.

6.  You don’t consider him a friend.

I believe it’s important to have some element of true friendship in a relationship. If you wouldn’t even be friends with the guy you’re seeing, why should you be dating him? There’s gotta be more than just great sexual chemistry. I’m not saying he has to be your best friend; I’m saying, there’s gotta be a basis of some kind of friendship somewhere.

7. He’s emotionally unavailable.

There’s no way around this one. Dating someone who is emotionally unavailable is like dating someone wearing a suit of armor made of mirrors — you try to see in, but all you see is yourself staring sadly back. Trust me on this one, you want someone who can open up to you. Someone who’s not afraid to cry in front of you when things get really rough. Someone who is ready to start a new chapter in their lives with you. If he can’t do those things, he’s not emotionally ready, and your relationship is doomed.

 

What are some other signs he’s not The One? Have you ever experienced one of the signs above?

PHOTOS: COURTESY PHOTO

 

 

3 Key Techniques on How to Train Your Subconscious Mind

Subconscious Mind - Consciousness

Subconscious mind is that part of the brain that functions 24/7, but we essentially do not notice it. It holds a plethora of information that we may come across just once, but our brain processes it in our subconscious state of mind. This part of the brain does wonders to those who know precisely how to use it in a positive way. Don’t be wary of its power to bring changes in your life.

The Invisible Hand

There are billions of people in this world and all are different in one way or the other. However, there are areas where people also familiarize others. For instance, some people look similar, some study the same discipline, some are financially equivalent, and some struggle for similar desires and ambitions. You can find many people who are similar in every manner yet lead totally different lives.

It’s not hard to find two or more people who possess the same academic qualification, intelligence level, and goals in life. Nevertheless, the lives of each are likely to be significantly different from the rest of the people in the group. The underlying reasons behind variations in lifestyle and success/failure can be numerous. For instance, their social network, financial background, external stimuli or opportunities, luck, physical appearance, or maybe an invisible hand could be the reason.

One thing that is common in almost every successful person is his/her belief. They empower themselves with self-control, motivation, willpower, and discipline. Believing that you are entitled to success is not wrong if you keep working hard to achieve success. Wealth, fame, position, and peace of mind cannot be gifted to you, so you must admit that internal drive to achieve your goals is one big factor that can make your dreams come true.

Your subconscious mind is that powerful internal drive!

In order to use your subconscious mind and to make the most of its incredible power, you must know how to train your subconscious mind. Though it may be a bit challenging in the very beginning, you will develop the habit of working as per the required conditions.

#1

The first step is to train your subconscious mind to solve problems. This is basically an attempt to improve your analytical skills. Whenever confronted with a problem which you cannot figure out the possible solution to, let your subconscious mind assume your conscious mind’s responsibility. All you need to do is to think about the problem for a while. You can also write a problem statement and keep reviewing it for a few minutes.

Instill the thought that you want your subconscious mind to derive out the possible solution to the problem. Now stop thinking about the problem altogether and just continue with routine tasks. A solution will eventually click in your mind within a few days; try it as it is highly likely to work out for you. This is how your subconscious mind helps you in resolving problems.

You can also go the other way around. Review the problem, think about alternative solutions, evaluate and weigh each one of them in terms of their respective pros and cons. Now stop thinking about it until your subconscious mind processes all alternatives to bring out the best option for you. Your analytical skills improve over time and with use.

#2

Meditation holds importance with reference to training your subconscious mind. Get inspired by new beliefs, think about new ideas, and learn to believe in yourself. Meditation will help you achieve desired levels of mental focus and concentration so that you can gain cognitive power. It also enables you to enjoy the present, while planning for the future.

#3

Repeated visualization is extremely effective in training your subconscious mind to enable you to accomplish targets. Set exciting goals, be passionate about them, and imagine the end objective on frequent basis like thrice a day or so. Your mind will then accept the visualization as a part of reality and you will start working to achieve the set goals.

Empowered By Sensitivity: What Type Of Empath Are You?

empath-training-sensitivity

Empowered by sensitivity?  It sounds strange doesn’t it?  Sort of ironic, contradictory, even mutually exclusive.

How can you be empowered by something so soft, subtle and delicate, in a world full of hard, overpowering and loud people?  Indeed, many of us Empaths get trampled, used, thrown around, and taken advantage of.  But we have a secret.

Deep down inside, beyond the veil of our superficial appearances, we harbor something quiet, but powerful.  Our gifts don’t dominate, tyrannize or overthrow people, but that doesn’t detract from their strength, or usefulness.  If anything, our powerful but subtle gifts benefit us more in the long term, allowing us to gather emotional, psychological and physical information from our surroundings that is often inaccessible and undisclosed to the average, unreceptive mind.

While we can’t bully, back-stab or use brute force, we can heal, guide, protect and deeply understand the lives of the people around us.  In essence, we can gather immense amounts of knowledge.  And knowledge, as they say, is power.

If you would like to discover whether you are an Empath, keep reading.  Also, if you would like to discover what type of Empath you are, you will discover the 10 types at the end of this article.

Are You An Empath?

If you are an Empath, you will experience a combination of some or all of the following symptoms:

  • You absorb other people’s emotions like a sponge, carrying them as your own.
  • When someone close to you is physically ill, you can feel this as physical pains in your body.
  • You often suffer from physical or mental fatigue and tiredness.
  • You find Solitude immensely refreshing, and you require it to “recharge”.
  • You often experience many mood swings or emotional states throughout the day.
  • Witnessing violence or cruelty is unbearable to you.
  • You are a very good listener.
  • People often come to you with their problems.
  • Animals and children are attracted to you.
  • You are caring and nurturing by nature.
  • You are hyper-aware of the physical environment, e.g. to smell, taste, sight, touch, hearing, etc.
  • You can’t stand interpersonal conflict.
  • Crowded places are very overwhelming and draining to you.

10 Types Of Empaths

While being an Empath can have its many positives and benefits, it can also weigh us down heavily with confusion, disorientation and anxiety.  That is why it’s important to put a name to what we individually experience to better understand ourselves, and identify others who share the same abilities as us.

For this reason, I have included below a list, and small description, of each type ofEmpath.  By understanding who you are, what gifts you possess and where you stand in life, you will be able to begin the path of Involution.

Claircognizant Empath

This is usually defined by the ability to simply know something needs to be done, or is true or misleading, without having any basis in logic or reason.  Often this type of Empath will just “know” when something is right to do, or not, or when someone is lying or hiding something.

Emotionally Receptive Empath

Most Empaths are emotionally receptive, and can physically and emotionally feel the emotions from other people before they are even expressed.

Physically Receptive Empath

Many Empaths are also physically receptive to other people’s illnesses and bodily pains.  This often manifests itself in the Empath’s own body, and can be an especially useful skill in healing.

Fauna Empath

This type of Empath can hear, feel and interact with animals.

Flora Empath

This type of Empath can communicate with plants, being able to receive physical and emotional signals.

Geomantic Empath

The Geomantic Empath can read the energy and signals transmitted by the earth.  Many are able to feel/predict natural disasters before they occur.

Medium Empath

This type of Empath can either see, hear, feel (or a combination of these elements) spirits, usually from deceased individuals.

Psychometric Empath

This manifests itself as the ability to receive information, energy and impressions from physical objects, e.g. photographs, clothing, jewelry, utensils, etc.

Precognitive Empath

This type of Empath can feel the occurrence of an event or situation before it actually happens.  This is usually manifested in dreams, or as physical/emotional sensations, for instance: dread, anxiety, or excitement.

Telepathic Empath

The ability to accurately read a person’s unexpressed thoughts is the main defining feature of the Telepathic Empath.

***

Being an Empath can be difficult and confusing, but with awareness of your gifts and abilities, you can refine them and use them to guide, heal and protect yourself and the people you love.

My hopes are that the information within this article can continue to make ripples within your life.  Please share with me any stories or experiences you have below.  This will help all of us broaden our knowledge and understanding of what it is to be an Empath!

Source: Loner Wolf

Loners Are Some of the Most Intellectual and Loyal People You’ll Ever Meet

loners can be most intellectual and loyal
Loners Are Some of the Most Intellectual and Loyal People You’ll Ever Meet
In fact, their intelligence makes them capable of being content in solitude. That’s why I grow weary of all the negative talk about those who wish to enjoy time alone, away from the multitude.
 
Being a loner doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. If you think this way, you’re wrong. It’s not my opinion, it’s fact. You didn’t write the alphabet and you didn’t make the rules. There are many ingredients in the soup! Let me sort this out for you. I believe a little snatching up and rearranging is due.
First off, I’m not attacking anyone, I’m standing up for the little man, the one in the dark corner and the one whose been bullied far too long. In fact, I would love to help you get to know the loner, the introvert, the confident and quiet intellectual. Hopefully, you are no longer offended and maybe even a little curious about the loner. First, I need to clear something up.
There are two types of loners
The loner isn’t always an introvert, actually. Sometimes, the loner has a perfect ability to make friends, socialize and even get loads of attention. It’s just that they prefer to be alone. They have friends too! Loners have the ability to make top notch friends because they choose to choose carefully. Their friends are usually in a small group as well. Extroverted loners are picky about their time, selfish even, meaning they love to learn about themselves and continually learn things about life as well. And no, that doesn’t mean they are self-absorbed. I’m not positive because I am a rather introverted loner, but extroverted loners probably don’t have time for small talk either.
Jonathon Cheek, psychologist at Wellesley College, said,
“Some people simply have a low need for affiliation.”
On the flip side, the introverted loner is a little different. They have issues with large crowds of people, it’s not just a choice. Introverts feel safer alone, there is no risk of social awkwardness or rejection. Although they might choose animal friends over human counterparts, as many of us do, introverted loners still care. They are intelligent and find ways to socialize a bit through online communications rather than events or concerts, which can be devastating to their peace of mind.
Some think being an introverted loner is unhealthy. They feel that enforced alone time is close to anxiety. I can understand this personally, as I have endured panic attacks when experiencing the chaotic environment of an amusement park. This is because introverts can be victims of stimulus overload! Introverted loners need more time for meditation and pampering the senses.
Whew!
I hope this helps, both you and me, because there are so many reasons, to be honest, as to why someone would choose more alone time. It could be heredity, the desire for privacy or even the result of not having many friends as a child. And don’t forget, being a loner is not the same as being lonely. I, for one, spent an entire year as a single mom with joint custody. I missed my children when they were away but it was not because I was alone. The weeks that I was by myself, I met myself. I got to know who I was and what I liked about myself. This was invaluable time that I used to learn that I needed no one to tell me who I was or how I should feel. I spent time with me and found some solid foundation on which to stand my ground, as needed. I embraced being a loner.
Loners are some of the most intellectual and loyal people you will ever meet. They can also be dangerous. Why, you ask. Because they already know what they are capable of and they no longer have to pretend. Knowledge, to the loner, is not intimidating. It is simply another opportunity to realize the strength of solitude.
Never look down on the loner. And loners, never look down on the social butterflies either.
It’s better if we work together and appreciate our differences. That’s where true intelligence and loyalty lie.
Author: Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.