We all experience certain moments in our lives where our whole life feels like one big procrastination. I’ve read articles on what the most effective ways are to deal with procrastination and how to get more productive by doing x amount of things. They helped, but they never really addressed the problem of procrastination itself.
So I searched for something that effectively dealt with the roots of procrastination and I found an intuitive approach on how to deal with procrastination. It’s called; structured procrastination. However, since this approach is very intuitive it won’t be something that fulfills the needs and desires for the mainstream.
Only the ‘out of the box’ thinkers will love this approach. So if you’re still with me, get ready for a unique perspective on how to deal with procrastination.
What is Structured Procrastination?
In a fancy way, structured procrastination is described as the fine art of doing less, but in a structured way. But in a more operational description; instead of doing that ‘very important thing’ that you keep postponing, you need to focus your attention on other things that are on your to-do list with the consequence that it becomes more alluring to do that ‘very important thing’.
“A year from now you may wish you had started today.” – Karen Lamb
Requirements for structured procrastination
You need a certain amount of self-deception. Yes, you need to ‘lie’ to yourself or as I like to call it; you need to trick yourself. You need to trick your mind into thinking that the ‘very important thing’ is actually not that important and that the other tasks on your to-do list are more important.
Luckily, procrastinators are unconsciously an expert in self-deception. When we finally start working on the ‘very important thing’ that we kept postponing we often feel the need to reward ourselves for our good behavior. And although this may seem like a positive reinforcement of our behavior, the reward that we award ourselves is often excessive in relation with the amount of time we actually worked on that ‘very important thing’. But you deserved it, right?
How structured procrastination works
Start by tricking yourself about the priority level of the tasks you need to do. So you’re creating a situation in your mind where you lower the priority level of the ‘very Important thing’ (but in reality it’s still the same) and value the priority level of the other tasks on your to-do list as higher than the ‘very important thing’ (when in fact they’re also still the same).
When you act like the other things on your to-do list are more important then it’ll be much easier to take action on the important task. Besides that, our lives are dynamic, so every day or week, new tasks are being added to our to-do list with some even having a higher priority level.
This makes it also more tempting to get started on the important task, because it’s priority level lowers. Finally, when you’re doing all the other things on your to-do list, a momentum of execution is created which brings focus back to the most important task of all.
“If you don’t pay appropriate attention to what has your attention, it will take more of your attention than it deserves.” – David Allen
The beauty of structured procrastination is that it’s not forcing you to learn anything new. Instead, structured procrastination goes with the flow and wants you to give in to the temptation of procrastinating. That’s why you should give it your very best shot, because finally there is a solution for procrastination that accepts you for who you are and still manages to make you more productive.
What are your own unique approaches to deal with procrastination? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!
Author: Krishan Kalpoe
Muhammad Ali is one of my modern heroes and I am saddened to hear of his passing away. He is considered one of the greatest athletes to ever live by many-and in my opinion he was. When a great mind and personality passes away, there is usually sadness and sorrow. I wanted to take this opportunity to highlight some of the lessons I learned as I grow into the man I want to be. Coincidently, Muhammad Ali and I share the same birthday, January 17, so in tribute; here are 17 lessons I learned from Muhammad Ali.
- Stick to your values: Muhammad Ali embodied true masculine energy by sticking to hi mission and purpose no matter what the consequences were. When he declined induction to the army to fight in the Vietnam he was banned from the sport of boxing. He lost some of the most important prime years (age 25-29) of his life away from the boxing ring. He did so believing in his core values and what he stood for as a man. In hindsight, everyone would agree that Muhammad Ali was right in his decision. Let your value system run your decision-making. Focus on the process of listening to your core and let the results be as it may. At the end of the day, by following your values, you can ensure no regrets.
- Be yourself : “I know where I’m going and I know the truth, and I don’t have to be what you want me to be. I’m free to be what I want to be.” You do not need validation from others. Be yourself. Feel comfortable under your skin and improve yourself. No need to apologize if you are a person of character. Be yourself and then you’ll attract the right people in your life.
- Have a purpose: “Champions aren’t made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them–a desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have last-minute stamina, they have to be a little faster. They have to have the skill and the will, but the will must be stronger than the skill.” It is not what you do that makes you a champion, it is why you do it and how you do it. Muhammad Ali was a champion because his big goal was to help others. Therefore, he was the same person (of principle) in and outside the ring.
- Be great: “I am the greatest. I said that even before I knew I was.”To be great you must know you are great. You must realize that your potential to be great exists within you and it’s just a matter of showing it. No one can see the potential that you have except you. Execute! You do not need validation from others.
- Focus on the positive: After getting Parkinson disease, he kept a positive attitude. “Parkinson’s is my toughest fight. No, it doesn’t hurt. It’s hard to explain. I’m being tested to see if I’ll keep praying, to see if I’ll keep my faith. All great people are tested by God.” Enough said! What would you do if you are faced with a calamity? How would your attitude change? For every hardship and failure there are opportunities that formulate. Can you see them? Can you capture the opportunities?
- Get back up when you fall down: “Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even.” If you fall, pick yourself back up. Let the opportunity of falling down be a lesson on how to get back up. Learn from your failures in order to grow as a person of character.
- No pain no gain: “I hated every minute of training, but I said don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.” Who ever said training was fun. Stick to the habits of practicing on your craft/skill and you will reap the rewards over time. Focus on one rep, one jump, one movement at a time.
- Believe in yourself: “It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.” If you don’t believe in your gift and your skills that you want to give to the world, then the world won’t believe in you. Show and tell. Don’t fool yourself. Listen to the voice in your head telling you of your potential to be great. Just follow it.
- Laugh and make others laugh: “Comedy is a funny way of being serious. My way of joking is to tell the truth. That’s the funniest joke in the world.” People like others who who can make them laugh. Some studies even say that men who are funny are intelligent. In this world of violence and problems, humor can diffuse any situation. Laugh things off and make others smile. You have the power to be a magician by changing other people’s moods instantly. This is what Muhammad Ali did to people. A genius!
- Be a good friend: “friendship… is not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.” A friend is someone who is there for you when it counts. Someone who is there to pick you up when you’re down and stand up for you when you are not around. Be a good friend by your actions and not your words. Anyone can wine and dine you or flatter you, but not everyone can be there for you when you need him or her, unless they are your true friend. Be that friend who is always there for your friends.
- Use your time wisely: “Live everyday as if it were your last because someday you’re going to be right.” Your time is your life. Don’t waste it. Focus on your goals and keep on going. Take it one day at a time and win more days than you loose. This follows to point #12.
- What you think is what you become: “What you are thinking about, you are becoming.” Actions stem from thoughts. If you want to control your actions then develop positive thoughts. Great thoughts lead to great actions.
- Keep learning: “A man who views the world the same at fifty as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life.” Learning never ends. If you think you know it all then you don’t know anything. Growth happens overtime. Challenge yourself to learn what you do not know so that one day you will know and help others do the same.
- Take risks and speak up: “He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.” Don’t just remain quite, take a risk and put yourself out there. Muhammad Ali was always an expressive person. He took a risk even by speaking-not fearing any judgments, but at the end of the day, we can all say he was an influential speaker because of it.
- Fake it till you make it: “To be a great champion you must believe you are the best. If you’re not, pretend you are.” Before you are good at something, embrace the attitude/ persona/ thought process you want to achieve. Overtime the acting will become a new habit and you will exemplify those qualities you desire. No one is born with every skill or attribute. If there is a quality you like and you don’t have it-yet, learn how to fake it till you make it. Go!
- Love others: “If we continue to think and live as if we belong only to different cultures and different religions, with separate missions and goals, we will always be in self-defeating competition with each other. Once we realize we are all members of humanity, we will want to compete in the spirit of love.” If you want to give to others you must first be able to love others.
- Inspire and give to others : “I wanted to use my fame and this face that everyone knows so well to help uplift and inspire people around the world. You have a gift that the world needs. “Service to others is the rent we pay for our room in heaven.”-Ali. Ali was known to help the poor on the streets and be part of multiple humanitarian organizations. He was awarded the “lifetime Achievement Award.” My Kofi Annan among others.
In one of Ali’s interviews he was asked
What would you like people to think about you when your gone?
Muhammad Ali replied,
“He took a few cups of love.
He took one table spoon of patience.
One table spoon, tea-spoon of generosity.
One pint of kindness.
He took one quart of laughter.
One pinch of concern.
And then he mixed willingness with happiness.
He added lots of faith.
And he stirred it up well.
Then he spread it over a span of a lifetime.
And he served it to each and every deserving person he met.”
In short, Muhammad Ali taught me to stick to my values and therefore be comfortable of who I am. I learned that if I am myself then I can sincerely be in a position to improve and be able to give my gift to people around me. If everyone can do this then the world would be a better place. We need everyone’s gifts to shine especially in the darkness.
Rest in peace, champ.
There comes a point in every person’s life when he or she parts ways with someone: ex, friend and anyone in between.
Upon first meeting this person, there’s a sweet beginning, but once you come to really know each other and grow comfortable, you suddenly realize that the relationship no longer brings any particular value to your life and is perhaps, even detrimental.
Sometimes, we hold on to people purely based on how long we have known them. Time can tie people together, but if you feel as though there’s nothing substantial keeping you connected, time is not a strong enough reason to hold on to something that’s simply no longer worth holding onto.
We grow complacent with people once we’re comfortable with them. But, hanging onto someone for the pure sake of it and because you don’t know anything else isn’t a good enough reason.
Fear is another reason why we can’t move on. There’s the fear of being alone and not being able to find someone else; fear of someone using our deepest and darkest secrets as blackmail; fear of the hate and tension that will ensue; fear of regret once someone is gone.
Sometimes, things are better left as mere memories. You can try to change things back to how they were or try to create things to be the way you want them, but you’ll never be truly happy because it’ll never be anything like how things once were.
If anything, there’s now too much pressure and expectation in the air to recreate what you both once had. Instead, hold on to and cherish the memories, but move forward. Be thankful for what a friendship or relationship brought you and taught you.
Beyond that, friendships and relationships — whilst they do have their downfalls and can require fixing — should essentially come naturally.
If a person isn’t bringing something significant to your life, not treating you how you’d like or isn’t the type of person you want him or her to be, it’s a clear sign that you need distance.
While it would be selfish of you to not accept a person for whom he or she is, it would be unfair for you to have to endure a friendship or relationship that isn’t cultivating a better you.
Now that we have come to ascertain why you may be holding on, let’s make it clear why you need to let go:
1. Let go because things are not the same anymore.
People simply grow a part, which is perfectly normal. You realize you want different things, no longer share the same interests, no longer understand and no longer connect.
Sometimes, it’s a matter of accepting that it takes time to let go, rather than holding on to something that just can’t be brought back, was lost a long time ago or perhaps, was never really there at all.
It’s difficult to hold on to people in life, but remember that you’re destined to meet different people along your journey who will bring you happiness, sorrow, pain and joy.
2. Let go because the trust and loyalty isn’t there.
If you know in your heart that you can’t trust this person and he or she cannot be loyal, then you need to ask yourself why this person is in your life. Trust and loyalty are the foundation of any friendship and relationship.
If they’re not present, it may only lead to paranoia, frustration, tension and anger that you’re better off without feeling.
Find someone with whom you can share your deepest darkest secrets and you know that after walking away, his or her lips will remain tightly sealed. Find someone whose faithfulness to you will be unquestionable because his or her actions, rather than empty promises, bring you a peace of mind.
3. Let go because you are unclear of where things stand.
Engaging in an undefined friendship or relationship is confusing because you don’t know what you mean to the person, if anything at all. If the person can’t make you feel as though you’re significant, reflect on why you’re allowing someone to treat this way.
Be in the company of someone who is proud to have you in his or her life and will make that known to you and the rest of the world. Be in the company of someone who won’t gamble with your heart and mind simply because he or she knows you’re not going anywhere.
4. Let go if the friendship or relationship is damaging to you.
If the friendship/relationship is making you unhappy or miserable, it’s time to bid the person farewell. We must not allow ourselves to feel trapped and used to being treated far less well than we deserve.
If someone is putting you down, competing with you, not paying attention to you, not caring about you, abusing you, embarrassing you in front of others, making you question yourself, belittling you or simply just not caring about you, remove the negativity from your life as soon as possible. Respect yourself enough to be able to walk away.
5. Let go if you simply don’t see eye to eye.
It is hard to make a relationship work if you can’t ever agree or see each other’s points of view. If the one thing you can agree on is that neither of you can agree, it might be time to walk away.
In many friendships and relationships, people come together through unlikely chances, through their differences and lack of similarities. Therefore, it can work, but if you find that it’s a significant source of many of your disputes and tensions, get out now.
6. Let go if you’re the one fighting to make it work.
If your relationship makes you feel as though you’re the only one putting in effort, time and love, reflect on whether or not it’s worth it. If someone truly loves you, cares for you or wants and needs you, the person will never allow you to invest disproportionate effort.
Find someone who makes you feel worthwhile and worthy. Find someone who fights to have you in his or her life. Find someone who knows how lucky he or she is to have you.
Find someone who acknowledges everything you have done and will do. Don’t waste your time on anything less.
7. Let go if he or she doesn’t encourage you or believe in you.
If you find that your relationship isn’t providing you with support, reflect on what the person is providing. You deserve someone who will be there to encourage you throughout your journey and believe in you maybe even more than you believe in yourself.
8. Let go if the relationship isn’t bringing you what you want and need.
Ask yourself whether you can do without the relationship or whether it’s something you unquestionably want and deserve. Sometimes, there’s this belief that we can be “too fussy” with what we want from others in life, but then again, why should we settle for anything less than happiness?
Don’t ever allow someone to make you feel needy for wanting someone who will love, care and support you, someone who will listen and give you insightful advice, someone who wants the same things, someone you can trust and will be loyal to you, someone who believes so strongly in you and your capabilities. Just someone who makes you feel like you’re someone.
Author: Alyssa Ho
Source: Elite Daily
Taking true responsibility for yourself gives you back the power to create exactly what you want in your life.
This means that you must take responsibility for your thoughts, words, and actions.
Taking responsibility for yourself gives you true freedom. By taking responsibility for yourself, and only yourself, you become aware of the true connection between your inner and outer world. You are the one and only creator of your life. There is no one else to blame for what your life is. When we take responsibility, we take back control of our experience. Taking responsible control means that you understand the basic truths of the Universe, and use your understanding of your inner world to create consciously and respectfully through your actions.
The Gift of Responsibility gives you freedom, because it grants you true awareness of your power as a creator.
“A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life.”
~ James Allen
- Awareness is the first step to understanding that you create everything in your experience. Every part of your life, good or bad, has a root somewhere within your mind.
- The truth can hurt sometimes, but by taking charge of the fact that you are creating your own experience, you can finally take control of what you are inviting into your experience. Without the Gift of Responsibility, people do not realize that they are the creators of their own experience, and live their lives reacting to the things around them.
- To consciously create your life with responsibility, act, don’t react. You may have heard that one of the definitions of insanity is performing the same action over and over yet expecting different results. When someone reacts to what is happening around them without realizing that their attention to these things are just drawing more of the same to them, they see the same things, good or bad, repeat themselves over and over again in their lives.
- Using the Gift of Responsibility means that you may have to go through a period of change where you admit that you were causing negative or painful experiences to happen to you because of your thoughts and actions. This can be hard, because we do not want to take responsibility for our lives. We want to blame others for what is happening to us. But nothing “just happens” to us, we create our own lives through our thoughts, words, actions and beliefs.
- The fear inside of us has been in control for too long. Freedom is given to those who are aware of what the fear makes them do. Fear is like a parasite inside of you, and it feels very threatened by the idea of freedom and of living with conscious awareness. This internal parasite feeds off of drama, judgments, negative emotions and off of your fear of change. If it can’t get these things out of you, it will have you “attack” other people with your thoughts, words, body language, and even with your physical body to get the energy it needs to survive. Be aware of this fear parasite as you learn and grow in wisdom and experience.
- If you can become aware of how fear uses you to feed itself, you can overcome it by simply being aware. When you become aware of the choices that fear is trying to make for you, you have taken responsibility for yourself, and are one step closer to being completely free.
- The cause of our problems is not outside of us. We do not need to wait for anyone or anything to happen to change our lives. The beginning of change always lies within us. By taking full and complete responsibility for both the roots and the fruits in our lives, we will change our lives for the better. To change the fruits you must change the roots. If you want your life to change and if you want less to complain about, you are going to need to change how you think.
- Awareness is the first step to creating change.
When you allow others to be responsible for themselves, you free yourself to work on you. No need to worry about controlling others, their choices will always be theirs, no matter how much you try to scheme about how to make them do what you want. There is more than one way to be on this Earth, and who are you to tell other people how to live their lives?
They are responsible, so let them live their own adventure, and you will become more free to live yours.
“I will not surrender responsibility for my life and my actions.”
~ John Enoch Powell
Happiness and success in your personal and professional life is about making yourself more positive so you can be motivated enough to do what needs to be done to achieve your goals. Super positive people know this and use the power of words to motivate themselves (and others) to reach their goals.
Happy, positive people are their own biggest cheerleaders. Even when things don’t look too good, positive people speak positively and remain hopeful that things will work out in the end. That helps them stay focused, steadfast and joyful on the oft turbulent path to success.
While talking to yourself may sound like an odd thing to do, it’s extremely effective. It can have an outsize effect on yourself and others. That is why we encourage you to speak these statements that super positive people say all the time. Be sincere; don’t just say what positive people say for the sake of saying it. Say what they say and truly mean it.
1. “I’m not perfect—and that’s OK.”
Sometimes we feel like we need to be perfect before we can take our next step in life, such as go into partnership or launch a business. At such times, super positive people remind themselves that they’re not perfect, and being imperfect is perfectly okay. Perfectionism holds many of us back from success. Take a second to admit that you’re not perfect, but that’s ok. Then go forth and start. Take the next step. You will be fine.
2. “I’m a little scared, but I will overcome this fear.”
Fear is responsible for many lost opportunities and foregone dreams. When super positive feel fear crippling their efforts, they admit they are scared but also tell themselves they can beat their fear. This simple act gives them the strength and courage they need to face their fears and overcome. Acknowledge fear can be crippling and make a choice to overcome it. Tell yourself you will prevail. Fear only has the power you give it.
3. “I can do this!”
Right before super positive people take a challenge or step into a difficult situation, they tell themselves they can do it. Because, as Confucius said, “Those who think they can, and those who think they can’t are both usually right.” When Steve Jobs ordered a special kind of glass for the first iPhone, manufacturers were aghast at the stringent request. “Don’t be afraid,” Jobs said. “You can do it. Get your mind around it. You can do it.” And they did it. If you believe you can, you are right. If you believe you can’t, you are also right!
4. “I’m good enough, right now, just like this.”
When super positive people are ready to push harder to reach a goal and/or improve, they steel themselves for the push with the reminder that they’re good enough, right now, today. Say it out loud: “I’m good enough, right now, just like this.” You will feel a sense of power, relief and even self-acceptance, which is good motivation.
5. “Look how far I’ve come!”
The importance of acknowledging your achievements is huge. Super positive people acknowledge their achievements all the time and that helps them face their challenges confidently. It reminds them that they have done it before and they can do it again. Speak these words out loud and acknowledge that your efforts have brought results before. Heck, throw a party if you want to celebrate your achievements. It’s extremely gratifying and empowering to know what your efforts can bring.
6. “You can count on me.”
Super positive people are aware of the importance of being there for people. They know that you cannot reach your peak by ignoring everyone else. As an African proverb says, “One finger cannot kill a louse.” You have to pull together to make a positive difference. And so they say to others, “You can count on me,” and they mean it. Say it and mean it. Be that person standing by to help. You’ll be stronger for it. Nobody achieve anything great all alone.
7. “I believe in you.”
People doubt themselves sometimes. You do, I do, we all do. Even the most confident among us sometimes needs a friend to remind them that they are good enough. Super positive people are these kinds of friends. They say to others, “I believe in you” and guide them to a better way. Say this to others and you will be an inspiration to them. You’ll comfort and foster gratitude and positivity all around you. That’s what life’s about.
8. “I trust you.”
We all need to be pushed at times, especially when we fall short. Super positive people have faith in people. They step up to push and be more of a coach or mentor to others. They trust in the abilities of others and tell them as much to inspire them to be better. Say to people, “I trust you.” It’s a powerful statement that brings out the best in people. As the late, great NFL coach Vince Lombardi rightly said: “Leadership is getting someone to do what they don’t want to do, to achieve what they want to achieve.”
9. “You really impress me.”
When others put a marked effort or demonstrate great skill or knowledge in something, super positive people are quick to recognize these things and commend them for it. People love and appreciate that guesture. If you want to see how effective such sentiments have, just read this short bit of dialogue from the 1997 movie As Good As It Gets in which Jack Nicholson’s character offers Helen Hunt’s character the ultimate compliment: “You make me want to be a better man.” Tell people they impress you sincerely. It shows you see people’s good side and you appreciate them. That is guaranteed to elicit positive responses.
10. “I’m sorry.”
Super positive people are not haughty as to refuse to apologize when they’ve clearly committed a fault or done something worthy of expressing regret. They are also not inconsiderate as to refuse to express their feelings of sympathy to someone who deserves it. They say, “I’m sorry” all the time when it is deserved. Say this too, and mean it. People appreciate these two little words greatly when said sincerely. However, they resent the same words and find them annoying when said insincerely.
11. “Let’s take some time off.”
Super positive people know that true happiness and success is a well-rounded approach. It’s an approach filled with laughter, family, friends, vacations and hours of downtime on the weekends. So when they (or someone else) seems like they could use some time off, and it’s appropriate, they say: “Let’s take some time off!” Workloads vary for everyone, but taking a break or vacation can be the best decision you make for yourself. It will allow you to rest and re-energized for true success and well-being.
12. “You’re welcome.”
Instead of a bland little, “Yep” or “No worries” or “No problem,” truly positive people say, “You are welcome” when people express their gratitude to them. Saying “You are welcome” doesn’t deflate another person’s gratitude, rather it dignifies it. It shows that you not only acknowledge the sentiments, but that you believe that person deserves your act(s) of kindness, help or recognition. Say “You are welcome” to people when they thank you for something positive, worthy or nice you did.
13. “Thank you.”
This is one of the most overlooked but impactful simple phrases in the English language. Super positive people do not underestimate its power. They say “Thank you” all the time when people do positive, kind things to them. Say thanks to people. These two little words pack a heck of a punch and spread a wave of positive energy all around.
Today I want to give you some strategies in case you ever have a little wobble within your business and start to wonder whether you are cut out for success. And when I say ‘you’ I am really speaking as much to myself as anyone. Tiredness, events not going quite the way we want them to, a lack of money or a dip in motivation can all lead to doubt, confusion and a creeping sensation that maybe we aren’t on the right path.
However if overall your business lights you up these are just testing times and we need to find ways of pushing through and getting to a more positive place. Therefore, I wanted to share with you the following six things to remember when your confidence evaporates.
1. You Deserve Success
Is that little voice of doubt speaking to you from the back of your head, you know the one – the one that says you don’t deserve success? Maybe it is telling you all the reasons why you aren’t good enough.
- You are too young
- Too old
- Not thin enough
- Not smart enough
- Everything you have ever tried didn’t work out
- Remember the time you messed up x, y or z – that’s only going to happen again you know
Don’t listen to that voice – you have totally got this and you do deserve to succeed, regardless of what you have said, done or failed to do in the past. I’m positive that a large percentage of people who have succeeded in all types of endeavours probably heard that voice all the way up to the point when things started to go their way. If you need help to conquer the negative voice in your head read Tara Mohr’s Playing Big (Amazon UK/USA).
2. Life is Short
If you don’t give this (whatever this is for you – a business, a change in career, a dream of something or someone you have always wanted to be) your best shot now, then what is the alternative? Give up and try it again in 5 year’s time? As I wrote in this post what spurred me on to change my life was the realisation that life is so, so short. Of course, I’m not saying keep doing the same thing over and over if it’s not working, you might need to change tack or try a new angle or get some assistance, but don’t settle, there’s just not enough time for settling. One quote which means a great deal to me and which was said in this commencement address by Jim Carrey, is:
“You can fail at what you don’t want so you might as well take a chance on what you love”
3. Mistakes are Essential
It is only by the mistakes we make that we learn to grow and find a better way. A baby makes thousands of so called ‘mistakes’ before he or she has even reached their first birthday. They make mistakes trying to walk, trying to find their mouth (no it’s not up there on top of your head) and even trying to express themselves with their first words. But we don’t tell them they are losers or failures (like we sometimes tell ourselves) we give them love, we point them in the right direction and ultimately they always get it right. Our mistakes are just ways of helping us to get to our destination too – let’s be a little kinder to ourselves.
4. Action Is Your Friend
If you are agonising over how to do something in your business – waiting until it is totally perfect before you move ahead – then this can cause you problems. Better to take action – just do something, make the first move and your momentum will carry you through. It doesn’t matter if your sales page isn’t 100% perfect or if that blog post could do with some work – better to have something out there in the world than nothing. Then you can refine and with each and every step you take you will improve.
5. Not Everyone Lives in an Instagram Home
I have talked about this before but comparison can be a really bad thing. I am super guilty of this because I look around at everyone else and I think they have a great home, great life, great children, they are super slim and fit and mega talented. And people probably do have – or are – some of those things – but not all the time. They have their doubts too, their insecurities, their problems. Clutter still builds up on their hall table and their shower isn’t as sparkly as in the advertisements.
The only antidote I have found for this is to be super grateful for what I have now (and no, I am far from perfect at this) but if you really start to examine all the positives it takes away a little of the edge of the comparison you feel. Think about your health, your friends, your family, your pets, the super nice people you have met online…..see you feel better already
6. Think About the Now
All we have is the present moment. Our fears can run away from us and tell us all the worst case scenarios, but those thoughts are just that – thoughts. Just as something terrible could happen, it’s equally likely that something wonderful might be on the horizon. The way we can influence that is by bringing ourselves back to the present moment.
Decide what we can we do today to move even one step closer to where we want to be – then go do it.
Oh and while you are doing it, remember point 1 – you rock and you totally deserve this. Rinse and repeat until suddenly your energy is back, you are filled with enthusiasm again and that little wobble is forgotten.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this post – please do leave a comment below. And if you liked it (even just a little bit) please could I ask you to do me a huge favour and click to share it on Twitter (it’s all set up and ready to go). Thanks muchly!
For many years, I believed that meditation was for hippies or people that practiced the Buddhist faith. I turned down multiple opportunities to understand just how powerful meditation was. It was only when apps such as “Calm” and “Headspace” came out that I truly understood the power of meditation.
For me, I chose to use the Calm app and have been a subscriber for a while now. Until I had someone guiding me, I never quite knew how to practice meditation even though I was able to read about it. The apps that taught meditation made it accessible to so many more people.
I then began to read blogs and listen to podcasts that all spoke so highly about meditation. It seemed that there wasn’t a lot of successful people who didn’t practice meditation. Then an even more bizarre thing happened to me; I added someone on LinkedIn who ran a business called “Mr. Meditate.”
He told me of his former job working closely with lawyers and how they were all suffering from the effects of anxiety and stress. He then asked me if I would give him a testimonial to talk about the benefits of meditation in my own life and to encourage large organisations to pay for staff meditation.
Before I knew it, I became a sort of pin-up boy for meditation, and I have now shared with lots of people why meditation is not for hippies, and how everyone should practice it.
Here are six benefits you will get from meditation:
1. You can deal with major fear
Fear can destroy our goals and hold us back from success. Whether it’s public speaking or flying on planes that have caused a degree of fear in me, I have always used meditation as a cure. Before you embark on a fearful task, you should try meditating beforehand.
What meditation does is calm your mind down and relax you. Meditation also teaches you how to breathe and just how powerful the breath can be. No matter how sick I feel, I know I can always calm myself down with long, slow, deep breaths.
Breathing is literally the antidote to so many challenges in life, and it’s the reason why when you are nervous, people tell you to breathe. It’s an age old saying that we all say to each other but meditation will help show you just why breathing is so important.
2. You can return to now
Mental disorders like depression and anxiety are caused by a mind that either lives too much in the future or too much in the past. One of meditations benefits is that it can bring your mind back to now. The healthiest place for your mind to think from is the here and now. When you return to now your mind begins to settle down and focus on what you can change in the present.
When we begin to be present and return to the present, we maximise our chances of getting our mind into a state of flow. From a state of flow, we can achieve almost anything that our mind can conceive. In a state of flow, we can achieve the impossible and challenge conventional thinking.
3. You’ll increase your energy levels
As I began to write this blog post I started to feel a bit sleepy. As someone who doesn’t like to waste time and wants to spend as many hours on my passion as possible, I pulled out the iPhone Calm app. With only ten minutes of meditation, my energy levels were restored. Without meditation, you may not have got to read this post.
Meditation is proven to give you a much better rest than sleep. The beauty of meditation is that you don’t need to do long sessions. 10-15 minutes can often be enough to completely rejuvenate you.
All you need to do is bring your mind back to the present for even a few moments, and the effect can be game changing. I love to add a cup of green tea at the end of my meditation to truly recharge my brain so try doing the same and see if it helps you too.
4. You can have a break from self-talk
Self-talk can drive your mind crazy and take away a lot of your energy and time. Often my own self-talk is spent acting out how I would say something to someone or responding to a negative situation. When I get stuck in these thought patterns, I find that time passes really quickly.
Meditation will allow you to take a break from all the mind chatter and live with a head full of nothing for a bit. A head full of nothing can then begin to pull new ideas in because there is room for them without the self-talk.
Too much self-talk will not allow your positive thoughts to grow properly over time which will, in turn, limit your likelihood of success. Use meditation to change this paradigm and you will see just how beneficial a clear mind can be.
5. You’ll gain more control
It’s so easy for your life to become out of control. Control comes when you begin to be conscious of everything that is going on in your world. Meditation helps highlight all of your thoughts and just how out of control they can be.
It’s hilarious to me sometimes when I try and meditate, and I can’t focus for a minute without thoughts forcing their way into my head. This is normal when meditating and some days you will be in control, and other days your thoughts will dictate the entire session.
The more you practice meditation, the more in control you become of your life.
6. You’re calmer
I often associate the feeling of being calm with being in a tranquil spot of nature such as The Great Barrier Reef. What meditation does so well is calm you right now in the moment and bring you into a non-reactive state of thinking.
Many of us live our life just reacting to everything that is thrown in front of us and by meditating we can change this reality. When the mind is calm, our thoughts become more pure, and we can soak our thinking with an influx of positivity.
Living in a calm state of mind is a way of life for me now. If you have never got to live in a calm state, then I empower you to make this a must in your life. Meditating will start the process of being more calm, but it’s up to you to carry the feeling on through the way you choose to live your life.
Everything you do each day is a choice. Success is about making smarter choices and meditation is one of those choices. Try it, embrace it, and enjoy what it feels like to calm your mind / life right down.
***My meditation tips***
- Try to practice meditation every single day for no less than ten minutes. If you only do it once in a while, you won’t get the growth that regular meditation can give you.
- Use an app to guide you through the process. Apps often have good instructions and relaxing background sounds that help deepen the meditation experience.
- If you’re really hopeless at meditation, then try getting a coach or attending a meditation class. Sometimes it’s your environment that is stopping you from practicing meditation correctly.
- Sit up straight with your feet flat on the floor. Lying down while meditating can make you fall asleep and you won’t be truly present.
- As suggested before, drink a nice warm cup of green tea (or any tea) straight after your meditation session.
- If you fly a lot like me, use the time on the plane to meditate. For long flights, try a whole hour of meditation. A longer session is an entirely different experience.
- Share the benefits of meditation with other people you know and get the word out there.
Have you tried meditation? How has it helped you? Let me know in the comments section below
Source: Addicted To Success
Your ability to acquire skills will determine your value in the market and the level of impact you can have in the world.
While learning any skill can be useful, some skills are more valuable than others. When it comes to deciding which skill to learn, you should focus on skills that are transferrable to other skills.
For example, you could learn how to knit but there’s not too many ways you can transfer those skills to your life. However, if you were to learn how to speak Spanish, these skills can help you improve your communication skills, career opportunities, and the ability to speak with people you never could have before.
Here are 7 skills you should learn before you turn 50:
Negotiating is one of the most important skills you can learn, and a skill you can apply in every aspect of your life. Whether you want to grow your business, make more money, or have more control over your life, learning to negotiate effectively can help you get there.
Developing your negotiation skills can also help you develop empathy, listening, and sales skills. The question is, how do you start developing negotiation skills?
Where to learn: The best way to start negotiating is to start small. While reading books can help you, you don’t want to get stuck in “learning mode”, and instead embrace the “learn as you go” mode. You could literally practice negotiating anywhere, from your local flea market to a street vendor, where negotiating is more acceptable.
“The best move you can make in negotiation is to think of an incentive the other person hasn’t even thought of – and then meet it.” – Eli Broad
Learning to play an instrument can not only impress your friends (or your date), but it can help improve your cognitive skills. Playing an instrument has been shown to increase your concentration skills, which is an increasingly important skill in the distracting world we live in.
If you’re new to the music industry, you can check out this article to know which instrument you should play.
Where to learn: You can find a local teacher that can meet up with you in-person on craigslist or Kijiji, and have them come to you. Or if you’re a busy person, you can check out these list of websites to learn different instruments online.
3. Public speaking
Public speaking, according to Warren Buffett, is one of the most important skills you can learn to advance your career.
Being able to communicate effectively can positively impact nearly everything you do in your life, from your career, relationships, business — the list goes on. Not everyone is born a great communicator, and it’s a skill that can be learned and developed by anyone who’s committed.
Where to learn: Join a local Toastmasters organization in your city, and you can start to practice your speaking skills and receive constructive and immediate feedback from a supportive community.
4. Personal finance
This one is quite underestimated by most people, especially recent college graduates. No, it’s not a sexy topic to learn, but none of the dreams and goals you have will come true if you don’t master this skill.
Being able to manage your own finances is the first step to achieving freedom. Instead of ignoring the issue, we have to confront our fears or ignorance, and take control of our budget.
Where to learn: This is one topic where being educated is a great place to start. You can read books on personal finance, check out personal finance bloggers, and even go see your personal accountant.
5. Speed reading
Bill Gates has shared that if he had one superpower, it would be the ability to read faster.
Time is the most important and limited commodity that we have. Learning how to read faster can save you dozens of hours per year, even hundreds if you’re an avid reader.
Where to Learn: You can take a free speed reading course online, or you can use technology such as Spritz to increase your speed.
If you want more success, then you must surround yourself with people that have achieved what you want to achieve. This could be a mentor, coach, or advisor that can guide you to where you want to go and even see blind spots that you may miss.
In order to become a better networker, especially with high-profiled individuals, then you need to learn how to bring value first. The rule of thumb is, the bigger the person you’re targeting, the more value you need to deliver upfront before asking for anything.
Where to learn: The best way to learn how to network is to watch how other successful people network. In order to do this, you need to attend industry conferences, networking events, and get in front of these people in-person.
7. Learn a new language
As the world becomes more globalized, we’re quickly entering a multilingual era. Twenty years ago, you could get away with knowing just one language. But today, with businesses going global, traveling becoming more affordable, and countries becoming more multicultural, it’s not enough to know just English.
Learning a new language can help improve your career, grow your business (especially if you’re targeting non-English speakers), and even build your confidence. If you’ve went your entire life speaking only one language, then learning a popular language like French, Mandarin, or Spanish can open yourself up to a world of over 500M – 1 Billion people.
“Study a foreign language if you have opportunity to do so. You may never be called to a land where that language is spoken, but the study will have given you a better understanding of your own tongue or of another tongue you may be asked to acquire.”– Gordon B. Hinckley
Where to learn: You can take advantage of websites like Rype, offering unlimited one-on-one Spanish lessons online, or if you want to dip your feet into the pool, start off with free mobile apps like Duolingo to get started.
Which of these skills have you yet to learn? How will you learn these skills?We’d love to hear from you below.
Source: Addicted To Success
Many people approach life with the perspective that life is just hard and dreams are for fools. Although there are unavoidable challenges, they don’t have to define your existence. If you embrace these 17 principles, they will actually change your life.
1. Celebrate your victories.
When something positive happens, take some time to celebrate. It could be as simple as dinner with your team or as elaborate as a vacation away with your spouse. Celebration reminds you that effort deserves reward.
2. Embrace change as an agent of growth.
Be the person who looks forward to change. If it’s time for a new career or a move away from home, get excited about the possibilities! Taking advantage of change will put you ahead of the pack. Success comes from being a change initiator.
3. Design the life you want.
What happens this year depends what you plan. Set aside time at the beginning of the year to decide how you want things to look at the end. Look at all major areas: family, career, health, and social relationships. Create small actions to carry out daily, weekly, and monthly to make it happen. Review and adjust regularly as you progress.
4. Live each day with determination.
Setbacks will come. You must determine ahead of time that you will move forward no matter the circumstances. At every point of decision ask yourself, “Will this move me closer to my goals?” If not, then set it aside.
5. Exercise regularly and vigorously.
There is no feeling like the high just after a great workout. In addition, a healthy body makes everything easier. Put together a fitness regimen with physical goals. Maybe you could run your first 5K or join friends in a regular game of basketball. Just get out and move.
6. Make friends with failure.
Success is only reached through failure. Don’t just embrace failure, run toward it. The faster you fail, the faster you succeed! When you get rejected, you learn what doesn’t work and how to adjust your tactics.
7. Have faith that you’re not alone.
Know there is more to this life than you can see. Work to help others have hope.
8. Prioritize your family.
Love your family and be there for them. Give them the best of your time each day. Success is of no value unless it can be shared with those you love. Remember that family can be more than just those related by flesh and blood.
9. Make fear your target.
Fear is often a construct of our own minds and only has the power given by us. Fear feeds on time so move quickly toward your goals and fear will be left behind. Look back on your life. You’ll see every great success came by running through fear.
10. Forgive others and yourself.
Resentment only hurts the person who holds it in their heart. Forgive those who have wronged you and you will be the one to feel freedom. Above all, forgive yourself.
11. Shower the world with grace.
Assume others mean you no harm. Grant them grace when they fail. Follow the Golden Rule and treat them as you would like to be treated.
12. Commit to continual growth.
Most people stop learning when a teacher is no longer making them. Without growth, stagnation is inevitable. Take time every day to feed your mind and soul by reading and listening to positive information. What you accomplish depends on what you’re telling yourself. Growth fuels success by opening your mind to greater possibilities.
13. Choose to be a person of joy.
How much you enjoy life depends on how much you decide to enjoy life. Remove negative influences, whether they’re people or media. Choose to love life. Share your joy with others and your own will increase.
14. Center your life on peace.
Give yourself regular times of peace to rest and reflect. Get enough sleep to renew your mind and body. Allow yourself opportunities to step back from the hard work of building your dream to maintain a healthy balance.
15. Find and live your purpose.
Take time to reflect inward on what gives you the greatest joy. This is likely your purpose. Use it to make the world a better place. Find ways to improve the lives of others and lighten their burdens.
16. Release your past for good.
Let go of anything from your past that is holding you back. Harboring old hurts, abuses, or pain will only slow you down. Don’t let what others say or think slow you down. Release it and know that you can start again and have the success you believe is possible.
17. Take action to change your life.
Nothing else matters if you don’t take action. Determine that 2016 is the year you will do something, every day, that brings you closer to the dream you have for yourself and your family. Take action … and do it now.
As I opened the door to the shrink’s office both my hands were shaking non-stop (this was an everyday occurrence). It was one of the darkest times of my life, and I couldn’t see where I would end up. I thought to myself in this moment, “am I going mental? Isn’t this where crazy people end up?”
The doctor told me I was very sick, and struggling from a whole host of self-inflicted medical issues of which anxiety was the strongest. I took the last of the money I had at the time to pay for five sessions with the shrink.
It was now session number five and all I had done so far was talk about myself and have him shake his head. I started thinking that it was all a waste of money. In this last session, it was time for the shrink to give me his verdict and send me on my way.
He said one paragraph that changed my life forever. He said, “Tim my diagnosis is that you have all the tools already to overcome your anxiety issues. You have already taken significant steps, and I didn’t instigate any of it. “
He then continued to say “everything you need to turn your life around is already in your own head, and you are one of the smartest young men that has ever walked into this office. Stop second-guessing yourself and keep taking the small steps towards reducing your anxiety. I see great things ahead for you, young man!”
His words were so powerful, yet all he really did was reconfirm the action I was already taking and believe in me. It was nice that someone other than myself saw what I was capable of. This one idea is something that can transform almost anyone’s current level of success.
The story above occurred before my personal transformation a few years ago when I used to suffer from severe anxiety. It involved predominantly experiencing daily anxiety followed by depression and any other mental disorder you can think of. It was fuelled by my ever-increasing stress levels caused by my obsession with business, family issues, and my life heading in the wrong direction.
In this article, I am going to explain to you how this anxiety elevated my entire life to the next level. Now that you have read a bit about the anxiety I used to suffer I want you to understand that this is very normal, and lots of people have the same thing. Anxiety is nothing to be afraid of.
I am now in a fortunate stage of my life where I don’t experience the effects of anxiety anymore, and I believe any mental illness can be unlearned and used to motivate you.
Below are the twelve inspiring ways my anxiety elevated my life.
1. It made me get involved in personal development
Without my previous anxiety disorder, I would never have taken up a commitment to personal development. The way to overcome anxiety (and any mental disorder) is through constant personal development each day.
Back then, I realised that I needed to change my state of mind, so I began listening to Tony Robbins and then that led to a whole host of others like Zig Ziglar, Eric Thomas, The Wolf Of Wall Street, Jim Rohn, etc.
Most of my life, while listening to mp3’s and for the entire day, I would always have the curtains shut, and my office and bedroom were usually in total darkness.
Around the same time that I took up personal development, a strange thing happened: the curtain in my bedroom broke. This seemingly insignificant event meant that in the short term I had to keep the curtain open continuously. This changed my sleep pattern and had a real effect on me.
Shortly after, the curtain in my office broke. It was like it was supposed to happen and was a divine moment. To this day, both curtains are still broken and have to be kept open at all times. This small reminder each day serves as an anchor for where I am taking my life and how anxiety has helped me.
Anxiety can inspire you to do lots of things, but the best thing I have found it can do in my life is to inspire you to take up personal development.
2. It can teach you to think in the now
As I researched what anxiety was and how I could overcome it I figured out a simple concept; anxiety is thinking too much into the future and depression is thinking too much in the past. When I carefully analysed each day I realised that I was thinking about events that were way into the future and hadn’t even occurred yet.
Once I started thinking of these future events, I would then begin to stress about them in advance. The key to overcoming anxiety and using it to inspire you going forward is to stop the habit of stressing about things in the future.
Learn to think in the now and not try and control things that haven’t even occurred. Most of the time the events I was stressing about never ended up happening or turned out in an entirely different way. All of this time spent stressing on the future was wasted and made me tired constantly.
3. It got me reading books
Anxiety has inspired me to do lots of things but one way it elevated my life was to encourage me to take up reading. For many years, I never read any books because reading small words hurt my eyes and I didn’t have the concentration or focus (probably due to all the sugar).
After my experience with anxiety, I discovered that reading was a great way to heal my mind, and so I began reading books on an iPad which didn’t hurt my eyes. I mostly read motivational books and autobiographies of people who had done amazing things in their life.
This simple act started to rewire my brain, and it became the foundation for the success trajectory I am still on. It was a calming way to go to sleep each night rather than stressing about future events or having the TV yell at me about how bad the world was, and how horrible people could be.
4. It helped me quit coffee and alcohol
During my anxiety period, I learned to wake up with two or three coffees in the morning, have a soft drink for lunch, and then bring myself back down again with alcohol at night. Up until this point, all the references society had given me made me think this way of life was normal.
Through reading, I quickly figured out that these things were fuelling my anxiety even further and that I had to give them up. As I slowly kicked these bad habits, my state of mind shifted. I stopped making poor decisions and behaving badly as a reaction to my lack of energy and lethargicness.
5. It made me start tracking my success
Often when you try and overcome anxiety, it feels like you are making no progress. One thing that anxiety taught me was that it’s important to track your success. In the short term, I began to keep a note on my iPad of all the times I had successfully conquered anxiety.
Within a few weeks, I realised I was making a lot more progress than I had previously thought. Unless you write down your win’s, you will never know just how good you are!
6. It taught me to gamify my life
A cool outcome from the anxiety crushing process was that it taught me to play games with myself. As I kept a list of wins, I started to think of ways to increase my winning score and have even more successful situations.
I have later used this same technique to inspire me to write articles by keeping score of my progress and how well I’m doing. The concept of gamification is a great way to fast track any component of self-development. Gamifying your life is much better than wasting your time on computer or smartphone games.
7. It helped me to take control
Through the anxiety process, I discovered that the major driver behind anxiety is control. Anxiety is something that can take control of your human operating system and leave you without the power to make decisions yourself.
This concept empowered me to take back control and not let anything control my destiny. Instead of letting others make decisions about what I was going to do each day, I became stubborn and insisted on taking back control on even the smallest decisions.
Until you take back control of your own decision-making ability, you will never reach the pinnacle of success.
8. It reconnected me to the habit of learning and sales
Anxiety showed me that learning is so important, and it can help us to achieve anything and even overcome mental illness. The way I overcame anxiety, if you break it down, is through learning new ideas, unlearning bad habits, and relearning what made me successful in the first place.
You need to learn new ideas from inspiring individuals around you (or blogs like this), have the discipline to acknowledge your current bad habits and beliefs, and relearn the things that you have forgotten.
So in my personal transformation I used self-help content to learn new ideas, I wrote down all my bad habits and conquered them one by one, and I relearned how to sell by taking an entry level job in sales for a short time. I want to focus on the relearn component for a minute because this was something that had the biggest impact on me.
When people ask me what made me successful as an entrepreneur, for a long time I had no idea. Through overcoming anxiety, I learned that sales is where all my success started from. I learned that sales equals confidence, and confidence drowns out anxiety.
Do you see the benefit of severe anxiety and what it can do for you yet?
9. It showed me the power of meditation
I didn’t actually discover meditation until after I cured the majority of my anxiety but it’s a great way to relax. Meditating, as part of the cure for anxiety, is now common practice although a few years ago it wasn’t that well known when I was going through my own treatment.
Essentially, meditation helps bring your mind back to the present and allows you to re-focus. The easiest way to try it is using an app like the one I have called “Calm.” I find that when I am required to produce moments of inspiration, meditation allows me to settle the mind and prepare for greatness.
Part of my new found inspiration has a lot to do with what anxiety did to my mind and how meditation helped to remove those mental roadblocks. I’m sure it can help you too.
10. It changed my work life
Anxiety helped me to elevate my life by first of all crippling everything I had, and then allowing me to come to the decision that my day-to-day work life had to change drastically. If it weren’t for anxiety I would still be stuck in the same work that I hated, with the same people that brought me down, and the same old beliefs that weren’t serving me.
What you do to earn a living each day has a lot to do with how inspired you are and where your life is heading. It can be tough to change your work life unless you have an event that forces you to quit and start again. Hopefully, if you’re lucky, that event may lead you down the path of entrepreneurship.
If not, that’s okay; there are still many wonderful things you can do to contribute to mankind and discover your purpose for being on earth. After all, you only get one chance at life so use it wisely
Severe mental illness can be the trigger for something new, and all success starts with some sort of challenge or pain first. Anxiety was very much the seed of greatness in my life, and it can do wonders for you if you get the lessons from it.
11. It made me realise everyone suffers from a degree of anxiety
Have you ever seen someone toot their horn or swear at another person? The chances are that they probably suffer from anxiety to some degree. Anxiety can make you very frustrated and cause you to take this frustration out on other people.
During my anxiety days, I was often angry at the fact that I had to deal with this issue and thought I was one of the only ones. What I now know is that lots of people have this mental illness and that it’s what fuels most of the negative people you engage with on a daily basis.
Once I learned to identify anxiety and crush it, I found myself being much nicer to people and less frustrated.This resulted in lower levels of stress, more happiness, and a sharp increase in my overall mental and physical health.
“We are all infected with anxiety, but we have the vaccine already inside of us” – Tim Denning
12. It taught me to be more vulnerable
The biggest lesson I got from my dance with anxiety was that it can help you elevate your life further by teaching you to be more vulnerable. The only way to overcome anxiety is first to admit to yourself that you have it, and then to seek advice by being vulnerable enough to talk to another person about it.
Without courage, you will never elevate your life to the next level. Courage involves you accepting that you need to get vulnerable on a regular basis.
You need to do things that are difficult, and produce the good kind of anxiety, all with the acceptance that you could fail and learn a great lesson at the end of it – what a horrible thing that would be
What major event (like severe anxiety) has helped you elevate your life? Let me know in the comment section below or on my personal Facebook and Twitter Pages.
Author: Tim Denning
Source: Addicted To Success