“I’m driving him away, I just know I am,” she sniffed. “It’s just that I love him so much and I can’t bear the thought of losing him!” Emma had been badly hurt before by her former cheating fiancé. Once bitten, twice shy. Part of her knew that her new man was decent, caring, and honest, but the emotional bit of Emma felt that it was “just a matter of time” before things went wrong.
“If he’s quiet I actually start panicking! I’m thinking: What’s he planning? Is he going to finish with me? Has he met someone else? If I don’t know exactly where he is I get suspicious. He constantly has to reassure me. What can I do?”
Insecurity spoils relationships. Insecurity drives people to become too ‘clingy’ or needy and this creates problems.
Feeling insecure in a relationship is natural up to a point, at least until the relationship “settles”. Let’s look at this in more depth:
Relationships: A security issue
When we enter an intimate relationship we can feel very emotionally vulnerable; especially if we have felt let down or hurt in previous relationships.
- Will they reject me?
- Have I done something to upset them?
- This is just too good to last!
These are the typical thoughts and feelings of the chronically insecure partner. Being insecure is a whole lot of hard work. So what does it involve?
Seeing problems where none exist
When we become anxious about anything, we start looking for signs of things ‘going wrong’ (nervous flyers look out for signs that the aircraft is in trouble). And, of course, we usually find what we’re looking for, even if it isn’t really there at all.
We perform constant monitoring: “Do they look fed up? Why did they say that? Who’s this other person they’ve mentioned? Should I feel threatened? Are they less attentive? Why did they pause after I suggested we meet up?” All this is exhausting.
Emma said she had often felt inadequate and “not good enough” to be with her current partner. She couldn’t possibly understand what he could see in her.
She also told me she had ended many previous relationships because of her insecurity. “It felt easier for me to end it before they did!” Walking away rather than risk the pain of feeling abandoned can seem the easiest thing to do. But we all need the comforts and support that intimacy can bring us. So what can you do if insecurity is blighting your relationships?
1) Stop confusing imagination with reality
Making stuff up and then believing it is a sure-fire way to self-torment.
The insecure flyer will hear the normal mechanism of the air conditioning and twist it within their imagination to signify impending doom via crash and burn. They’ll imagine the bored look on an air steward’s face to be barely concealed terror because, “He must know something we don’t!” The over-imaginative flyer may even fantasize the sound of the landing gear coming down is an engine falling from the plane. They scare themselves by assuming what they imagine represents reality.
There are normal ‘mechanisms’ to any relationship. There are ebbs and flows and mood changes, moments of intimacy and closeness and comfortable spaces. These ebbs and flows are normal. Wanting to be absolutely close and intimate all the time is like wanting an aeroplane to never make a sound or a movement.
Next time you feel insecure, ask yourself what it is you are imagining. Write it down on paper under, ‘Stuff I am making up in my head.’ Being able to distinguish between what you imagine and what is actually happening is a massive step toward self-assurance. Which neatly links to…
2) Avoid the Certainty Trap
Overcoming relationship insecurity is partly about becoming less controlling. This may sound strange, but feeling that: “This relationship must be exactly as I think it should be!” is a form of over-control. A sign of insecurity in relationships is when the desire for certainty becomes too strong.
Having to know whether your partner really loves you, having to know this or having to know that puts a lot of unnecessary strain and tension into the relationship. The fact is, we all have to live with uncertainty. Insecure people can still feel insecure even when they are told they are loved. Wanting what is not possible (complete and utter certainty in all and everything forever) is not possible because imagination can still make up doubts. So stop looking for certainty where it doesn’t apply.
Self-assurance comes from starting to relax with uncertainty. Wanting to know for certain that someone will be with you forever prevents you enjoying the here and now. Nothing in life is certain.
3) Give the relationship room to breathe
When you plant a seed in the ground, you need to give it access to sunlight, water, and air; you need to give it space to develop. Your relationship needs room to breathe. Schedule in some ‘separate time’ and just see it for what it is. The developing flower needing space to grow isn’t a sign that it is heading for collapse.
4) Stop ‘mind reading’
Constantly wondering what your partner is thinking is a quick route to anxiety. If they say one thing don’t assume they mean another. If they say nothing don’t assume that their silence is significant, either.
Many men relax by not talking. Constantly wondering and asking what someone is thinking is a dead end because even if they do tell, will you believe them anyway?
‘Mind reading’ happens when we assume we know what someone is thinking when we don’t. When you stop doing it, you really begin to respect someone’s privacy because everyone deserves the right to have space to think their own thoughts. Constantly asking, “What are you thinking?” can make someone want to withdraw further.
5) Stop comparing current relationships to past ones
Have you ever taken an instant disliking/liking to someone merely because they reminded you of someone else who you disliked/liked? Some people do this with whole relationships. Because they were in a relationship with someone who was abusive, very critical or dishonest, or who left them, they respond to a new partner defensively or angrily when, in fact, the new partner is not really like the old one at all.
The extreme form of this ‘sloppy comparison’ can lead to destructive over-generalizations such as, “All men are lying bastards!” or “All women are promiscuous money grabbers!”
If you suspect you have been making faulty unfair comparisons between your current partner and a former one, then write a list of all the destructive traits of your former partner. Write next to this list all the ways your current partner is different and review this list regularly. This will help you to stop assuming that the future has to be like the past.
6) For security: Seek self-assurance
Rather than always looking to the other person to make you feel secure in your relationship, get into the habit of reassuring yourself. Start to challenge your own fears and imaginings rather than just accepting them. Ask yourself: “Hold on a second. What real evidence is there for this fear?” At the same time you can focus on the thought: “Okay, nothing in this life is certain and I can live with that. And even if this relationship did end, I’m strong enough to go through it and ride it and will have learnt things from it.” We all need to go with the flow in relationships. What we fear will be ‘the end of the world’ if it happens never really is.
Sit down, close your eyes, and strongly imagine feeling relaxed and secure around your partner. This will train your brain to feel that “whatever happens, I’ll be okay.
7) Focus on the good
Relationships are meant to be fun (at least some of the time). Insecure people look for signs of what’s not working. I want you to look for signs of what is.
Doing this will get you and your partner feeling naturally more positive.
No meaningful relationship will always totally work all the time. Being too black or white about relationships spells trouble. There are always some difficulties, but keep focussing on what is good.
This doesn’t mean that you have to accept anyone who will accept you, even if they are obviously not right for you. But it does mean that if there are occasional problems, you don’t have to ‘throw the baby out with the bathwater’ and become so destructive that the relationship ends or so clingy that your partner ends it for you.
Emma learned to relax and enjoy her relationship. She stopped feeling she had to control what her partner thought or did and her new laidback attitude made it easier for their love to genuinely blossom.
A good relationship is there for you to enjoy together, to share resources and develop together in healthy ways. If someone really does treat you badly or lies and cheats, then feeling insecure is a natural and justified response. However, if you’re actually in a generally good relationship, then follow these tips because what you have is precious.
But possibly not as precious as the knowledge that whatever happens, you can relax because you’ll be okay.
There may be many reasons why you are not experiencing the success that you wish you had and if you don’t know what they are – here’s a clue.
What is your story? No matter what it is that we do in life, we create a story about it with ourselves as the main protagonists and we carry our story around with us – even if it doesn’t serve us. “I can’t succeed because”…or…“this happened and so….”
These stories might seem like the truth, even factual, but it is what it is – a story, which you believe and live by. One of the best ways to understand this is to consider the survivors of the Hudson River plane crash for example. Each survivor was part of the same experience and yet each person framed (and internalized) the event in a very different way – they all have different stories.
There are those who were traumatized and to this day refuse to fly again, and those who saw the crash as a second chance to life and refused to be limited by the experience. Each survivor’s future actions were shaped by their stories of the experience just as your actions are influenced by every singly story that you tell yourself.
Stories do not necessarily reflect facts
The thing about stories is that they tend to be subjective, you might not like to hear that, but it’s the harsh truth and so taking them for granted as unchangeable truths about ourselves is incredibly limiting and it will affect your success.
Your story is not the ultimate truth, you are focusing on your symptoms of the story, rather than on the event itself. Take, for example, a person who has had a bad experience pitching their business idea to seemingly uninterested potential investors. Two of the possible stories that this person might tell themselves are:
- Story A: The investors weren’t interested because my business idea is horrible and no one will ever want to invest in it.
Story B: Perhaps the investors weren’t interested because I didn’t pitch the idea well enough, or perhaps they just weren’t the right investors.
Same experience, two different stories. In both cases, the person is likely to feel disappointed and demotivated; these are the stories symptoms. But depending on which story that person wants to believe – they will take actions aligned with it.
Take a moment and think about the stories you tell people; the habitual stories that give you a ‘way out’ of something. What would it feel like if you decided to rewrite the story to something more empowering?
It is often necessary to change a story in order to be set free from it, instead of trying to change the symptoms. This is what people don’t get. They try to change the symptoms but it’s the story that you keep telling that brings you the same results.
One of the most challenging parts is actually being conscious and aware of your stories. Most people are in self-denial that they even have stories.
Is your story what you would like it to be?
What’s your story? Think about the different stories that have shaped the way you view your life and the actions you take. It could be a very specific story (for example, if you’re an aspiring entrepreneur who is too intimidated to take risks) or a more general one (for example, if you’re an artist, blocking your own success because you’ve always identified with the “struggling artist” story).
If you’re tired of being stuck in one place and want more out of life, you need to create stories that will help you achieve your goals, instead of staying captive to the mindset and stories that are holding you back.
What story do you need to let go? What story would help you to create your ideal world instead? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!
Spartanburg County, South Carolina suffered from one of the worst health rates a couple of years ago. With high pregnancy rates, high crime rates and high poverty rates, the county was headed in what seemed to be a horrible direction.
After much collaboration with nonprofits and other foundations, there was a big change in the health rates of Spartanburg. One of the biggest changes was the implementation of new programs in their detention center.
For a mass media and health class, I had the opportunity to visit the Spartanburg Detention Center and experience something that can only be described as life-changing. Each student took away something different from the experience, but here’s what I learned and what I’ll never forget:
1. Being in jail doesn’t necessarily mean you’re guilty.
One of the first lessons learned that day was there’s a difference between being arrested and being convicted. Most people who are put in jail are people who were arrested and are awaiting their court date, not actual convicted felons.
After their court date, if these people are proven not guilty, they can continue with their everyday lives, granted they’re not placed on probation. This was essential to understanding the people we would encounter during our tour. We were about to encounter possibly innocent citizens who are sitting in a jail cell because they don’t have enough money to bail themselves out.
In a similar light, there are people who actually committed a crime roaming freely around the county because they were wealthy enough to bail themselves out. All they have to do is wait for their court date. This is extremely unfair, in my opinion, but this is just how our justice system works.
2. You eat where you sh*t.
Jail is no joke, and the inmates we talked to made sure we understood this. When the tour began, I didn’t think we would actually be able to walk around the jail and see how these people lived.
One of the first rooms we saw was a room for three female inmates. The sheriff asked them to step outside for us to see it, but there was really nothing to see.
All these women had was a small room equipped with a bunkbed, a twin-sized mattress on the floor next to them and about 3 feet of space between each bed.
There was a small sink and a small toilet. There is no cafeteria at the detention center, and the food is delivered directly to their cells. There was absolutely no room for activities that involved any kind of physical movement.
3. You can’t judge circumstances you’ve never experienced.
As soon as the sheriff asked the three women to step outside, they respected his orders and walked out, backs against the wall. One of them was holding a book, which is not something I would typically expect from an inmate.
When the sheriff asked them to say a few words to the young women touring the detention center, what they had to say changed my perception of them almost immediately. They were all mothers. One of them had been in jail every year since 2007.
“And why do you think you keep coming back?” asked the sheriff.
“Drugs,” she said.
Her voice, her sad eyes and her story were powerful enough to make me view her differently. And that’s when it hit me: It’s wrong to judge someone before hearing his or her story.
4. It’s never too late.
The Spartanburg County Detention Center has many programs that are used to encourage the inmates’ mental health. They implemented GED programs in which the inmates can earn a degree after participating for a couple of months.
The sheriff told us a story about a boy who was 23 years old. The court decided he was innocent, so he was forced to leave the facility before finishing his GED course. He begged the officers to let him stay and finish.
After many arrangements, he was able to graduate. The determination some of these inmates exhibited is something we all can take a lesson from.
This boy actually wanted to stay in prison in order to finish his education. That is admirable.
With determination, people can take the people they were and turn themselves into something entirely different and positive. They can become the people they want to be. With a strong mind and good intentions for oneself, anything is possible.
Many of these people are way beyond the point in their lives where they need to be worried about getting a GED, but they recognized it’s a necessary step in becoming successful in this world, especially after being arrested and imprisoned.
It’s never too late to go back to school or even teach yourself something new. It’s never too late to do something you’ve always wanted to do, but never could. And it’s definitely never too late to successfully become the person you always dreamed of being.
5. It could be anyone.
The sheriff who gave us the tour made sure we knew the risks of being an irresponsible adult.
“Every single person in this room is one bad decision away from ending up at a detention center,” he said.
Think about how many bad decisions we all make or how many bad decisions our friends make that can send them to a detention center, but these decisions (luckily) go unnoticed by the law. It’s important to think about that every time someone is about to make a irrational decision, like driving a car after one too many beers.
My trip to South Carolina was an extremely educational one. Anyone we know — even ourselves — may end up in jail because of the way our justice system is set up.
I’m not trying to minimize the actions of some of these inmates. Some of them have done a lot of bad things, and they know that. I’m trying to show our communities that just because someone is in jail or has been to jail, that doesn’t mean he or she is necessarily a bad person.
We need to make sure others know how important it is to never judge a book by its cover because you can never truly understand someone else’s circumstances. But, you can try and put yourself in other people’s shoes, just like I did by spending a day at the Spartan County Detention Center. At the end of the day, that makes all of us more human.
Author: Mercedes Leguizamon
Source: Elite Daily
There is nothing good to be said about apologizing to a person who truly does not want to hear another word from you.
A woman named Betty slept with the husband of her friend, Celina. Celina was clear with Betty that she wanted no further contact with her. Celina put Betty out of her mind, as best as she could, as she and her husband worked to heal their marriage after the affair was out in the open.
Several years later, when Betty was working the twelve steps in her AA program, her sponsor encouraged her to examine her actions to see if she had harmed anyone in her past, and advised her to pick up her phone and make direct amends.
Betty got Celina’s cell phone number from a mutual acquaintance and left a voice message saying that sleeping with her husband was the worst mistake she had ever made, and that she wanted to meet for coffee so she could “make amends” and “tell her part of the story.”
Celina felt re-traumatized hearing Betty’s voice on the phone, and Betty’s request stirred up all the tumultuous feelings that she had worked so hard to put aside. Betty called a second time with the same message adding, “I think that if you know my part of the story, you might be able to forgive me.”
When Celina wisely chose not to respond, Betty then sent her a letter expressing her remorse and asking for forgiveness. Celina threw it in the garbage. Betty’s insistence on reentering Celina’s life felt to Celina like another violation.
Betty needs to forgive herself, but her process of self-forgiveness should not involve contacting Celina. The purpose of an apology is to calm and soothe the hurt party, not to agitate or pursue her because you have the impulse to connect, explain yourself, and lower your guilt quotient.
If the other person has clearly said, “Leave me alone,” or, “I’ll get in touch with you when I’m ready,” the appropriate response is to leave them alone. This means no flowers, gifts, texts, calls, emails or “I’m sorrys” sent by pony express or carrier pigeon.
Apologizing to someone who wants to be left alone may make you feel better for fifteen minutes, but if it’s at the other person’s expense, it’s not really good for you either.
Sometimes the only good apology is getting out of the other person’s space.
Author: Harriet Lerner
Source: Psychology Today
Not too long ago, I was sitting on a beach in San Juan, Puerto Rico, and noticed a couple holding hands, walking along the shoreline. They looked so peaceful and perfect, like an island getaway commercial. And then it happened: His cellphone went off.
She gave him a look as if to say, “I dare you!” But the idiot took the dare. Not only did he answer the phone, but he let go of her hand, walked away and talked for 10 minutes. She shook her head, walked over to their beach setup and sat down under the umbrella. The couple that had just resembled a picture-perfect getaway were about to become prime candidates for The Dr. Phil Show.
He finally walked over to her. I grimaced. In my head I heard the booming boxing catchphrase: “Let’s get ready to ruuuumble!” Ding, ding! And boy did she come out swinging.
“Really?” she asked. “I can’t believe you answered your phone. Stop and look how beautiful this place is—and you can’t stop working to even see it, to take it in, let alone be here.”
He should have listened, right? But of course he didn’t. “Hey!” he jabbed at her in his defense. “If it wasn’t for my job, we wouldn’t even be on this vacation!”
She rebounded with a combination of blows that seemed to shake the champ. “Vacation?” she said, incredulous. “Vacation? You call this a vacation!? This is our anniversary! We’ve been here for three days and you can’t stay away from your phone and stupid computer. You brought your job with you—it’s like you can’t stop yourself, like you’re addicted!”
She picked up her belongings and took a few steps toward the hotel. Then she stopped, turned and delivered the final blow: “You know, you used to be married to me. Now you’re married to your job.” The champ just stood there, looking like a real chump.
I grimaced, feeling uncomfortable for having witnessed the whole thing. But let me ask you, this probably isn’t the first time you’ve heard, or even had, an argument like this, is it? Let’s face it. We are living in a world that is moving at an amazing pace. And it is easy to get lost and misplace our feelings and values.
Many of us are conditioned to devote the majority of our waking hours on building our careers or business, leaving little, if any, time for other important aspects of our lives. Who can deny that we live in a competitive, ambitious society that stresses the importance of being the very best, rather than simply to do the best we can?
A lot of us have bought into the grand deception of always wanting more, regardless of how much we already have. We have adopted the illusion that if some money, power and fame feels good, then more of these things feels better.
Maybe it would be wise for us to come to the realization that what we think we want in life might not necessarily be what we need in order to lead a truly successful and happy life. Maybe, just maybe, we are leaving out important personal factors from the equation of what completes us as individuals. Maybe it’s just a matter of making a slight shift, finding your balance and choosing a better way. Maybe there are too many “maybes” in this paragraph. Or in your life.
I’m at a place right now where my philosophy about what’s important in my life has significantly shifted. Yes, I love what I do for a living. I always did and I always will. But I know far too many people who are so caught up in trying to make a living that they’ve forgotten what it’s like to live.
More often than not, what we want feeds our ego. But when we fulfill our needs, we feed our soul. Pause today for just a minute and ask yourself, Which one am I feeding?
Choose wisely, because time has a cruel way of saying, “I told you so.”
It is true: You can marry into more money in five minutes than you can make in a lifetime.
But, that can only happen if you are able to attract a wealthy and successful person in your life. Life is full of options and opportunities.
Believe it or not, success plays a huge role in how attractive you are and how attractive someone will be to you — especially when it comes to highly successful people.
Although it is great to identify exactly the type of partner you wish to have, nothing will come true if you don’t become the type of person who would attract that kind of partner. It is especially true when you’re looking for a success-driven partner.
Let’s face it: No one wants a slacker for a partner, and why should they? People want someone who’s going places.
Below is a short list of things that I find attractive as an entrepreneur — hell, people, in general, find these qualities attractive.
1. Having Your Sh*t Together
Struggling to keep the electricity on because you play more than you work is a sign of immaturity. Skipping a bill because you’d rather play that new video game is irresponsible and a red flag.
The same goes for work: Missing days because you did too many hard drugs or just didn’t feel like it is no excuse, and ultimately, it’s not going to get you anywhere in life.
As an entrepreneur with multiple projects going on that all need close and continuous attention, I just cannot afford distractions.
Your chances of dating the next Mark Zuckerburg or Donald Trump are slim if you have too much drama in your life. When successful people look to date, they look to find someone who doesn’t have additional baggage that will hold them back in life.
2. Ambition for Greater Things
The most important quality in a woman for me is her ambition. In fact, it’s so important that without it, you’re probably not going to get very far.
Successful people want to see the same ambitious qualities in another person. Why? Because ambition means getting ahead.
Without the drive to be something better or improve your situation, you’ll end up stuck in the same spot for the remainder of life. Successful people find this as a major turn-off and will avoid people without ambition.
A common trait among highly successful people is their goals and aspirations always come first in life. Trump even said, “It’s hard for a woman to compete with my business.”
You’re less likely to have petty arguments in a relationship if both parties have big goals and dreams they can work toward. The reason for that is because large goals are going to focus your time and energy on achieving them, rather than finding time to complain and argue.
3. Respect for Money
The woman I marry must respect money, and more importantly she must want me to make tons of it. It may not be conventional, but I want a woman who is going to encourage me to take advantage of every single opportunity there is in the market place.
Instead of complaining about me working too hard, I want my woman to ask why I didn’t stay at the office an hour or two more.
The truth is, if you don’t respect money, it’s very unlikely you’ll ever stay in a long relationship with someone who has money, much less have money for yourself.
Wasting money on payday loans and frivolous purchases is a deal breaker. It shows you have no idea how to handle money from meeting a deadline to budgeting.
If you can’t budget for yourself, how are you going to budget for you and someone else? In short, you won’t.
4. Taking Risks
A caveat of life is the sheer risk you take simply by living it. Just walking on the sidewalk could be dangerous at times; you could get mugged, hit by a car or assaulted. Still, there are times you should always take risks.
Taking a calculated risk and attempting to better yourself is a good, attractive quality. It shows confidence and the will to try and better yourself. Sitting at home on a couch with a bag of nacho chips shows quite the opposite.
If you don’t take risks, you’ll never advance anywhere in life.
Those are four qualities successful people are likely to find attractive. Why? Because they took the same advice themselves to get where they are. Even if they had a huge helping hand starting out, they still had to maintain and keep driving forward.
Without these skills and mindsets, you’re likely to find yourself snagging leftovers and people who have made themselves victims. The question, at the moment, would be, do you want to be with someone like you?
If you say no for any reason that relates to the fact that you’re not where you want to be in life, it’s a good time to start thinking about altering your attributes.
This article first appeared on Elite Daily
The uniting global culture of the 21st Century does have risks that it needs to address as it moves into a new era that can finally be classed as a civilized society. Yet, any report that identifies the threats to our species needs to be holistic and progressive in its approach; otherwise it is just fear propaganda manufactured to elicit our blind consent.
In an article on the well-recognized Australian propaganda site – news.com.au – the three biggest threats that were identified in the ‘Worldwide Threat Assessment of the US Intelligence Community’ report were outlined. Simply, this was a stunningly transparent piece of the establishment’s disinformation agenda.
Allegedly, the three biggest threats to the world are:
- CYBER-ESPIONAGE; and
- NUCLEAR NORTH KOREA.
As stated in the second paragraph:
US National Intelligence Director James Clapper and other officials warned an attack by Islamic State on US soil was imminent, that North Korea now had the capability to produce up to 100 nuclear bombs and that Russian and Chinese hackers could dismantle critical defence, supply and information networks and were in fact already starting to do this.
We can see straight away the fear they’re trying to push: there are no internal threats; the big bad entities of the East are who we all need to be worried about. This would be hilarious if it wasn’t so dangerous, because as per design, it aims to keep the mainstream herd of breaking free from the false narratives which unfortunately characterize living in this day and age.
As the post-mainstream community has long understood, the primary threat that we collectively face is the shadow power structure which has bought out our financial, informational, political, medicinal and educational systems. The way in which money and resources are controlled in our society, as well as what information the matrix-media provides, is determined by this oligarchy which has long infiltrated western governments and the minds of the masses.
Therefore, we all need to be concerned that we no longer have a representative government. Abraham Lincoln’s famous quote is regrettably being transformed for the worse: a government of the people, by the people, for the people, is perishing from the earth.
More On What They Want You to Fear
Power is shifting from West to East. The reign of the American superpower is coming to an end which will be driven home after the death of the Petrodollar and the US dollar as the world’s reserve currency. Because the powers-that-be have foreseen this for a long time, they’re putting into place strategies, such as secret ‘resource and power consolidation’ agreements, to ensure their hegemony is not lost.
As part of this agenda, Islamic State (IS) is a proxy army of this global cabal. IS is made up of Sunni radical extremists, and was directly massaged into a well-equipped army by Turkey, Saudi Arabia and other Sunni-dominated Middle Eastern states. Weaponry and other equipment were also directly and indirectly supplied to them by Western nations.
As I noted in the article, “The Risks for 2016: Economic Collapse, More False Flags and WWIII”:
The prevailing view in the conscious society is that there is a shadow order that controls US and other western foreign policy. It is believed that they created Al Qaeda, and it’s offshoot Islamic State (IS), as proxy armies to overthrow leaders of the Middle East and obtain control of the governments, banking sectors and resources, as part of their global unification plan. This is also known as the New World Order (NWO) and is thought to be controlled at its core by ancient bloodlines that are fronted by Zionist and/or Jesuit agents.
The rise of terrorism has been a well planned ingredient to this recipe, officially beginning in 2001. In orchestrated stride, the ‘war-on-terror’ continued to escalate in 2015 with supposed terror attacks being carried out in dozens of areas across the Middle East and Africa, as well as the well-known ‘Paris Attacks’ and San Bernardino shootings later in the year.
Of course, many of these incidents might well be false-flag operations carried out by these ruling elite, who are hell-bent on uniting the world under their impenetrable rule.
Because there has been a war in the Middle East between the Sunni’s and Shiites for centuries, the Israeli/US elites have picked a side to meet their own ideological and geopolitical goals. Syria and Iran are primarily Shiites, whilst Turkey and Saudi Arabia are Sunni nations that have been allies of the U.S for decades. Turkey is also a part of NATO, so they were always going to choose this particular side.
It appears that Russia is the unplanned wildcard. They have allied with Iran and Syria because they have their own ideological, economical and geopolitical agendas. For this end, they have absolutely pumped the Sunni radical extremists since mid to late last year, which is why Saudi Arabia and their alliance have organized up to 350 thousand ground troops in early February to potentially enter Syria in a ground invasion. They of course will say this is to fight IS, but that’s just pure deception; the real aim would be to ensure that they don’t lose the battle for supremacy that they’ve invested so much time, energy and pride in.
Furthermore, Russia and China, among other nations, have collaborated to build new economic institutions for the future, including the BRICS bank and the Asian Infrastructure Investment Bank (AIIB). As noted in this Global Research article in February 2016:
China and Russia are investing in neighboring economies on terms that cement Eurasian integration on the basis of financing in their own currencies and favoring their own exports. They also have created the Shanghai Cooperation Organization (SCO) as an alternative military alliance to NATO. And the Asian Infrastructure Investment Bank (AIIB) threatens to replace the IMF and World Bank tandem in which the United States holds unique veto power.
As stated, this is in direct opposition to the oligarchical-controlled IMF and World Bank, although it must be noted that originally there was some endorsement by these institutions. In any case, as noted in an article by former Assistant Secretary of the Treasury, Dr. Paul Craig Roberts:
The basis of US foreign policy is the commitment to prevent the rise of powers capable of constraining Washington’s unilateral action. The ability of Russia and China to do this makes them both a target.
Washington is not opposed to terrorism. Washington has been purposely creating terrorism for many years. Terrorism is a weapon that Washington intends to use to destabilize Russia and China by exporting it to the Muslim populations in Russia and China.
In other words, Washington and the gullibility of its European vassals have put humanity in a very dangerous situation, as the only choices left to Russia and China are to accept American vassalage or to prepare for war.
Based on this analysis, Russia and China are only threats because the US (and Israel) oligarchy has made them into exactly that. The majority of people do not want further war, so the question then begs, will they stand up against this authoritarian agenda or will a well-orchestrated false flag convince the masses that it’s the only way forward to protect their freedoms?
Note: for those who vehemently say NO TO WAR, please see this initiative led by the infamous war veteran Ken O’Keefe.
The Real Threats that We Face
As discussed, there is a shadow order that has taken control of the way that we organize and economize our societies. They use their corporate monopolies to enact their agenda. If we don’t do something to stop this tyranny then the “11 Toxic Realities Society is Finally Waking Up About” will continue its carnage across our collective minds and hearts.
In addition, the global economy is tanking due to a saturation of debt and near worthless global currency. How this plays out in the coming months and years is hard to predict, yet the potential destruction of our current way of life, as well as massive social unrest, is very real. This is something we all need to hedge our bets against; hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.
Yet, there’s something even more powerful that if we don’t do something about, then nothing will change for the better. That threat is the ignorance of the masses. If the majority of people actually understood the issues, and were prepared to stand up and be counted in ensuring humanity’s next phase of evolution comes to fruition, then no matter how much money and resources are at the disposal of the despots, people power would inevitably reign supreme.
As I explained in a recent article titled “The Control-Matrix is Crashing because the Truth-Seekers are Winning”, the last several decades have resulted with:
- the military-industrial-media-politico-banking complex increase their power and continue their pillage across the world;
- pharmaceutical monopolies amplifying the drugging of society, as well as keeping many of us sick so that they maximize their profits;
- movements rise up only to be vilified and disassembled, such as the Occupy Movement;
- science turned into a corporate institution, as well as further hijacked by an inaccurate and small-minded philosophy of reality;
- wars purposely created with millions of people dying for the whims of the shadow empire;
- radical extremists massaged into proxy armies to do dirty work for the collapsing power structure;
- air, medicine, food and water becoming purposely more toxic;
- governmental policy increasingly being determined by corporate/elite interests;
- police being militarized all around the globe;
- the education model struggling to become less of an indoctrination system; and
- the agenda of global governance becoming closer to fruition.
Once the tipping point occurs and the masses wake up to these and other realities that threaten the future of our species, the paradigm shift will be in full swing. To do so, apathy will need to be transcended so that the awareness of the dysfunctions leads to effective and sustained action and the transformation of our social systems.
The goal? Design them so that we can truly say they are for the benefit of not just all of our fellow man, but our natural systems too.
The original article cited above uses fear to sedate the masses. It claims that one of the biggest threats are attacks on US and European soil. Of course known false flags like 911, and suspected ones like the 2015 Paris attacks, are insider moves on the geopolitical chess board, so when the masses are warned that one might occur, its only natural for the indoctrinated to automatically believe that it was whoever the presstitute media says it is.
Therefore, we must be vigilant when it comes to any significant events which arise. To do so, just stay tuned into the alternative media because there are many independent truth-seekers and social commentators who are disproving the false narratives to ensure the truth really is out there.
In addition, to save me reinventing the wheel, in my latest article I note that:
There’s escalating conflict all across the planet. The global economy is deflating from a decades-old debt bubble. Ignorance, apathy, ill-health and suffering are commonplace. Politics has sold-out. Money rules the rules. Then of course the consolidation of power has been very successful by the oligarchs, who have taken primary control of how money and information is circulated throughout society.
There is a bigger picture though. It is important to understand what we’re dealing with in all its forms, because if we align ourselves to it then we can co-create with it, no matter if it’s of positive or negative charge. Yet regardless of the exact details of all these realities, this is all part of a deeper energetic shift which is not only organic, but being fueled by individual and community action.
Ultimately, the potential for it to get worse before it gets better is something that we need to accept. Think smart, act smart. Do it for yourself and your loved ones, but also for the community that you call your home.
Because after all, we’re all on the same team; help those around you to realize it so that you can begin to build the future that you dream of in your own backyard, to the best of your ability.
Much love and strength to you all.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Source: The Mind Unleashed
Loved around the world – American television host, producer and philanthropist Oprah Winfrey has most certainly left her mark on the face of history. Once the world’s only black billionaire, arguably the single greatest black philanthropist in American history and often considered to be the most influential woman in the world – there is so much that Oprah’s life can teach us all.
Having overcome unspeakable hardships during her early life, Oprah went on to become the inspirational person that she is today, reaching out to millions from around the world with the generosity and transparency that she is famous for. Not surprisingly, many people look to Oprah for inspiration and guidance on how they too can become their very best and turn their lives around for the better.
Here, then, are some lessons from the final episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show, as expressed by Oprah herself, in the hope that they may find you when you need them most and that you may share them with those who might need them as well.
1. We are each other’s best teachers.
“Something in me connected with each of you in a way that allowed me to see myself in you and you in me. I became your surrogate — to ask the questions, deliver the answers, learn, grow, expand my thinking, challenge my beliefs and the way I looked at the world. I listened and grew, and I know you grew along with me.”
2. Each of us has to find our own calling.
“Everybody has a calling, and your real job in life is to figure out what that is and get about the business of doing it. Every time we have seen a person on this stage who is a success in their life, they spoke of the job and they spoke of the juice that they receive from doing what they knew they were meant to be doing.”
3. Your calling will let you “live from the heart of yourself.”
“It lights you up and it lets you know that you are exactly where you’re supposed to be, doing exactly what you’re supposed to be doing. And that is what I want for all of you and hope that you will take from this show. To live from the heart of yourself. You have to make a living; I understand that. But you also have to know what sparks the light in you so that you, in your own way, can illuminate the world.”
4. You are responsible for your life.
“Nobody but you is responsible for your life. It doesn’t matter what your mama did; it doesn’t matter what your daddy didn’t do. You are responsible for your life. … You are responsible for the energy that you create for yourself and you’re responsible for the energy that you bring to others.”
5. You alone are enough.
“… we often block our own blessings because we don’t feel inherently good enough or smart enough or pretty enough or worthy enough. … The show has taught me you’re worthy because you are born and because you are here. Your being here, your being alive makes worthiness your birthright. You alone are enough.”
6. Everyone needs validation.
“I’ve talked to nearly 30,000 people on this show and all 30,000 had one thing in common: They all wanted validation. … They want to know: ‘Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does what I say mean anything to you?’ ”
“Try it with your children, your husband, your wife, your boss, your friends. Validate them. ‘I see you. I hear you. And what you say matters to me.’ ”
7. Practice Gratitude.
“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.”
Our reality is what we make it; Oprah knows this and it is with this knowledge that she has been able to take the negatives from her earlier life and transform them into such dazzling positives.
Oprah knows that what we give most of our attention and thoughts to, is what we attract the most of in our life. So, use gratitude to focus your thoughts on the positives that are already in your life. Do this and they should continue to multiply and multiply, until there is no longer room in your life for the negatives.
8. “We can’t become what we need to be by remaining what we are.”
Have you ever considered the saying – ‘You can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs’? Well, the same can be said of life and happiness. Without change you can never grow any greater than what you are now, so what small changes can you begin to make to become the person that you want to be?
You cannot expect to change your life by continuing on the same path that you are on now; your life can only change to the extent of the changes that you make in yourself.
9. We can all be someone’s safe place to fall.
“And what I hope is that you all will be that safe harbor for somebody else — their safe place to fall. Do for them what you all are telling me the show has done for you. Connect. Embrace. Liberate. Love somebody. Just one person. And then spread that to two. And as many as you can. You’ll see the difference it makes.”
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Have you ever felt like giving up on your goal after months (or years) of pursuing it with no results? You’re not alone.
I once worked 14-hour days for 6 months to create an online course and prepare for its launch. When the big day to launch the course arrived, I was rewarded for my hard work with…nothing.Not one sale. The disappointment weighed so heavily on me that I considered quitting. After days drowning in dark feelings, I decided to do whatever it took to regain my motivation.
Here are the 7 steps to stay motivated even when you see no results:
1. Stop what you’re doing
If you insist on getting back to work when you are disappointed and unmotivated, you’re likely to make the same mistakes that prevented your success. Instead, take a day or even a week off to recharge and clear your mind. In my case, I drove to the coast and went for a long walk along the beach. The energy of the crashing waves took my mind away from what had happened.
2. Keep failure in perspective
Your efforts haven’t panned out. But is your goal a lost case? Contemplate whether the failure lies in the way you’re attempting to achieve your goal rather than in the goal itself. I realized I had made costly mistakes marketing my course, but this didn’t mean that I couldn’t succeed with this or future online training programs, or that my business was doomed.
“A failure is not a loss. It’s a gain. You learn. You change. You grow.” – Michael Barata
3. Take inventory of what you have accomplished
It’s easy to forget how far you have come. Take a moment to search through old emails, documents or journals. Did you know as much as you know now? Most likely, you’ll realize that you have grown personally and professionally over time. You have probably acquired new skills and gained knowledge that position you for future success. It’s time to give yourself a pat on the back! I searched for the first course I produced, and laughed at how rudimentary it was compared to my new programs. I had grown. I had improved. As a result, I felt my confidence soar.
4. Ask for feedback
Before you take further action, reach out to those who support you, especially your mentors. Ask them for candid feedback on what they think you could do better, and listen without judging or becoming offended. External feedback coupled with your own insights will help you pinpoint what isn’t working and will inspire you to find new ways to achieve what you desire. I was lucky to count on the members of my mastermind, who offered their ideas on what I could do better to launch my online program.
5. Create a detailed plan to change what isn’t working
When you lack results, you might feel that you have lost control of your destiny, which is a sure motivation killer. A detailed plan of action is essential to regain a feeling of control—and your motivation. I reworked my entire marketing plan, and devised more engaging ways to reach my audience. The clearer my plan became, the more empowered I felt to succeed.
List every action that isn’t yielding results, and ask yourself whether you can completely eliminate the task or change the way you are approaching it. For example, if you are in business on your own and social media isn’t working to get new clients, either switch your efforts to another lead generation tool or change your social media strategy.
6. Execute a quick-action item
Nothing feels better than accomplishing something that will help you achieve your goal. Find a quick task that is likely to yield positive results. Your sense of accomplishment will fuel your enthusiasm for what you do.My new marketing plan included contacting a list of possible joint-venture partners.
I reached out to most people on my list in a day, and the next day I was rewarded with my first few positive answers. I felt a renewed sense of hope in my own ability to succeed. What could you do today to build the positive momentum you need to stay motivated? Take immediate action.
“The path to success is to take massive determined action.” – Anthony Robbins
7. Celebrate small successes
No matter what little progress you make, congratulate yourself for what you have accomplished. You will feel empowered to take the next step in your plan, and if you continue celebrating your wins, you’ll create a self-perpetuating cycle of winning actions. I created an Excel log with my small successes, which I checked daily. As the success log expanded, so did my confidence and motivation.
Remain patient as you work toward your goal, and remember that undesirable results can become opportunities to grow and to find new, exciting ways to succeed.
What will you do first to change your current situation and regain your motivation? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!
Author: Cloris Kylie
There are so many important things you don’t know about yourself, so many wonderful and precious things. And today I would like to share with you 9 of these things.
1. There is a life-force within your Soul.
From a very young age you were taught to look outside yourself for all the things you thought were missing from your life. Not knowing that “There is a life-force within your soul, seek that life. There is a gem in the mountain of your body, seek that mine. O’ traveller of you are in search of that, don’t look outside, look inside yourself and seek that.~ Rumi
2. You know more than you think you do.
Another important thing you should know about yourself is that your heart and Soul are a lot wiser than you think. They know everything about you, about your life’s path and about the many wonderful things you are capable of being, doing and having. And if you could just get into the habit of conversing with your Soul – listening, trusting and following the guidance of your heart and the wisdom of your intuition, you will soon discover that all the answers you were once so desperately seeking outside yourself, were within you all
“I have been a seeker and I still am. But I stopped asking the books and the stars. I started listening to the teachings of my soul.” ~ Rumi
3. You weren’t created to live in a “box.”
Your true nature is soft and flexible, fluid and expansive. Who you are underneath it all is much grander and much more complex than your conceptual structure of reality. Much more precious and a lot more valuable than all the labels that have been placed on you up until this moment, and all the labels that will continue to be placed on you in the future. And when you use all kinds of rigid concepts and labels to define yourself, placing yourself in a “box” and conforming to strict ideas of who you are and how you should live your life, you deny yourself the right to realize your true nature. You deny yourself the right to become all that life created you to be.
4. You are not a finished product.
Who you are is constantly changing, growing and evolving; taking different forms, different shapes and becoming something new each day. And that is why it is so important to be flexible. To be open to change and to allow things to take their natural course. To allow yourself to be who life needs you to be, not who you think you should be. And to always remember that “The more a thing tends to be permanent, the more it tends to be lifeless.” ~ Alan Watts
5. When you try to shine, you dim your inner light.
Verse 24 of The Tao Te Ching talks about this in a glorious way: “He who stands on tiptoe doesn’t stand firm. He who rushes ahead doesn’t go far. He who tries to shine dims his own light. He who defines himself can’t know who he really is.” ~ Lao Tzu
You came into this world shining bright like a star. And even though you might have forgotten how valuable you actually are, if you could just be who you are without constantly trying to prove your value to those around you, you will eventually allow your inner light to be seen, valued and appreciated. And you will no longer depend on others to confirm that you’re worthwhile.
6. Your self-worth cannot be verified by others.
Other people can’t determine how worthy and valuable you truly are. And you know why? Because most people have no idea how valuable they themselves are. Most people allow external things, places, people and circumstances to determine how much they are worth, and so they judge you as being worthy or not so worthy based on the same criteria, not knowing that these things have nothing to do with your value and self-worth. Make sure you don’t fall into the trap of thinking that who you are is not enough and that you need other people’s approval, love and validation in order for you to feel that way. Never allow external things, places, people or circumstances to determine how much you’re worth. Decide for yourself. It’s called “self-worth” not “other-worth.”
“Self-worth cannot be verified by others. You are worthy because you say it is so. If you depend on others for your value it is other-worth.” ~ Wayne Dyer
7. You don’t have to compare or compete with anyone or anything else.
The life you are meant to create and the person you were born to be are unique. And since your path in life is different from everybody else’s, there is no need to compare or compete with anyone or anything else. No need to try to be better than those around you. You are safe.
“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you.” ~ Lao Tzu
8. Your path in life is different from everybody else’s.
You have your own unique path to walk in life. A path that is different from everybody else’s. And even though you might be tempted at times to imitate and follow the herd; to do what everybody else does, please don’t! Follow the wise advice of Ralph Waldo Emerson and “Insist on yourself; never imitate… Every great man is unique.” Embrace your uniqueness. Walk the right path.
9. You are never alone.
You are never alone wherever you are. You are always in the company of your wonderful, precious and loving Self. Your heart and Soul are always with you – guiding you, protecting you, and making sure that you feel safe, loved and cared for. And that my friend, is something that no one can take away from you.
“As a body everyone is single, as a soul never.” ~ Hermann Hesse
With all my love,