When I think of Thích Nhất Hạnh, words like – stillness, love, compassion, peace and oneness, come to mind. And even though these are some really beautiful and powerful words, they somehow can’t really express the beautiful, pure and loving feelings that I get from reading Thích Nhất Hạnh’s books and watching his beautiful videos. Thích Nhất […]
Subconscious mind is that part of the brain that functions 24/7, but we essentially do not notice it. It holds a plethora of information that we may come across just once, but our brain processes it in our subconscious state of mind. This part of the brain does wonders to those who know precisely how to use it in a positive way. Don’t be wary of its power to bring changes in your life.
The Invisible Hand
There are billions of people in this world and all are different in one way or the other. However, there are areas where people also familiarize others. For instance, some people look similar, some study the same discipline, some are financially equivalent, and some struggle for similar desires and ambitions. You can find many people who are similar in every manner yet lead totally different lives.
It’s not hard to find two or more people who possess the same academic qualification, intelligence level, and goals in life. Nevertheless, the lives of each are likely to be significantly different from the rest of the people in the group. The underlying reasons behind variations in lifestyle and success/failure can be numerous. For instance, their social network, financial background, external stimuli or opportunities, luck, physical appearance, or maybe an invisible hand could be the reason.
One thing that is common in almost every successful person is his/her belief. They empower themselves with self-control, motivation, willpower, and discipline. Believing that you are entitled to success is not wrong if you keep working hard to achieve success. Wealth, fame, position, and peace of mind cannot be gifted to you, so you must admit that internal drive to achieve your goals is one big factor that can make your dreams come true.
Your subconscious mind is that powerful internal drive!
In order to use your subconscious mind and to make the most of its incredible power, you must know how to train your subconscious mind. Though it may be a bit challenging in the very beginning, you will develop the habit of working as per the required conditions.
The first step is to train your subconscious mind to solve problems. This is basically an attempt to improve your analytical skills. Whenever confronted with a problem which you cannot figure out the possible solution to, let your subconscious mind assume your conscious mind’s responsibility. All you need to do is to think about the problem for a while. You can also write a problem statement and keep reviewing it for a few minutes.
Instill the thought that you want your subconscious mind to derive out the possible solution to the problem. Now stop thinking about the problem altogether and just continue with routine tasks. A solution will eventually click in your mind within a few days; try it as it is highly likely to work out for you. This is how your subconscious mind helps you in resolving problems.
You can also go the other way around. Review the problem, think about alternative solutions, evaluate and weigh each one of them in terms of their respective pros and cons. Now stop thinking about it until your subconscious mind processes all alternatives to bring out the best option for you. Your analytical skills improve over time and with use.
Meditation holds importance with reference to training your subconscious mind. Get inspired by new beliefs, think about new ideas, and learn to believe in yourself. Meditation will help you achieve desired levels of mental focus and concentration so that you can gain cognitive power. It also enables you to enjoy the present, while planning for the future.
Repeated visualization is extremely effective in training your subconscious mind to enable you to accomplish targets. Set exciting goals, be passionate about them, and imagine the end objective on frequent basis like thrice a day or so. Your mind will then accept the visualization as a part of reality and you will start working to achieve the set goals.
In my free time, I take myself on dates.
This can be anything from getting a table for one at a restaurant, watching a film or theatre performance, or walking along a park trail and then sitting on a bench watching the sunset.
I first discovered the genius of self-dates at the age of 17. Prior to that, running errands alone was not a problem. It was doing enjoyable activities alone that seemed so strange and foreign. Being left alone for a few minutes in a coffee shop made me nervous, and the idea of eating at a restaurant or seeing a movie by myself seemed, well, sad.
Plainly, I was self-conscious. I didn’t want to seem like a loner and wanted to avoid any stares that came my way. It’s not that I didn’t have friends to do things with. Interests and schedules don’t always align. So I forced myself to stop being so reliant on others to join me in order to go places and have a nice time.
In a burst of spontaneity one day, I decided to see the re-make film “True Grit” while waiting for my take out order of Italian sausage pasta. When my food was ready, there was only enough time to head to the theatres and buy my ticket. Although well aware of the theatre’s “No outside food” policy, I was hungry, and decided to take my chances.
Like any first date, my first self-date started a bit awkwardly. Also, my bag wasn’t large enough to conceal my dinner. To my surprise, the stub collector simply stared at my noisy plastic bag of food and let me continue onward without questions. Once inside, I plopped myself in a prime viewing seat—free of any tall giraffes obstructing my view—and began picking at my food.
When the movie started, and I was transported to another world and another time, the awareness of being alone left me. The duration of the film was enjoyed without interruption, and when it was over, a couple seated in the row in front of me, turned back to chat a bit about it—and my pasta.
Since then, I have gone on to do more things—alone. I learned there are many pros, such as getting away with some things more easily (like the pasta incident). Sometimes being alone allows me to see more. I found that more people approach me at events to chat—it’s how some friendships have begun. I even met one of my music heroes. Most recently, I got free admission to see a wonderful city view from an observatory.
Most of all, I have gained confidence in being independent, and learned that people aren’t staring as much as I thought. Even if they do, it doesn’t bother me. These days, it’s not even about not having someone to go with—I just love my alone time. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, at any pace that I want.
Author: Bianca Sewake
The Ars Notoria is a rare ancient magical text that is said to perfect memory and master academia among other incredible things.
“…The Notory Art revealed by the Most High Creator to Solomon. In the Name of the Holy and undivided Trinity, beginneth this most Holy Art of Knowledge, revealed to Solomon, which the Most High Creator by his Holy Angels ministered to Solomon upon the Alter of the Temple; that thereby in short time he knew all Arts and Sciences, both Liberal and Mechanick, with all the Faculties and Properties thereof: He has suddenly infused into him, and also was filled with all wisdom, to utter the Sacred Mysteries of most Holy words…” – The Notory Art of Solomon.
The Ars Notoria – An Ancient Magical Book to Perfect Memory and Master Academia
Do you believe that there are ancient texts that help understand how humans function? Several sciences are known for avoiding many parts they cannot comprehend or explain, is it possible that this is one of them? Innumerable ancient books have been written in the past promising otherworldly powers to those who welcome its knowledge. People in the past firmly believed that ancient scripts offered magical powers and ways of altering the consciousness of those who read it.
But from where does this mysterious knowledge come from? In the distant past, not many people knew how to read, or interpret ancient (sacred) writings, which could have inherently, categorized some texts as mysterious and powerful.
“And know this; that if thou hast not the books in thy hands, or the faculty of looking into them is not given to thee; the effect of this work will not be the lesse therefore: but the Orations are twice then to be pronounced, where they were to be but once: And as to the knowledge of a vision, and the other virtues which these Holy Orations have; thou maist prove and try them, when and how thou wilt.” (source) –Ars Notoria The Notory Art of Solomon.
In the famous grimoire —a textbook of magic, with instructions on how to create magical objects like talismans and amulets and perform magical spells—called Lesser Key of Solomon, there is an ancient text called the Ars Notoria, or the Notory Art of Solomon. This ancient text can be traced back to the thirteenth century while some parts were written as early as the twelfth century.
While there were numerous ancient texts that promised otherworldly powers in the past, this one was different since it specifically focused on prayers, meditations and another oral exercise unlike other books, which focused exclusively on spells, potions, and rituals.
The oldest writings in the so-called Lesser Key of Solomon offer those who read and understand it, a silver tongue, perfect memory and unimaginable wisdom. However, since there has been numerous ‘unauthorized’ revision through the ages, its extremely difficult to evaluate its success and functionality.
The original texts were created in three different styles, including Hebrew, Greek, and Latin. It is said that King Solomon himself used the original writings of the Ars Notoria to become a wise, compassionate and talented rulers on Earth
We all experience certain moments in our lives where our whole life feels like one big procrastination. I’ve read articles on what the most effective ways are to deal with procrastination and how to get more productive by doing x amount of things. They helped, but they never really addressed the problem of procrastination itself.
So I searched for something that effectively dealt with the roots of procrastination and I found an intuitive approach on how to deal with procrastination. It’s called; structured procrastination. However, since this approach is very intuitive it won’t be something that fulfills the needs and desires for the mainstream.
Only the ‘out of the box’ thinkers will love this approach. So if you’re still with me, get ready for a unique perspective on how to deal with procrastination.
What is Structured Procrastination?
In a fancy way, structured procrastination is described as the fine art of doing less, but in a structured way. But in a more operational description; instead of doing that ‘very important thing’ that you keep postponing, you need to focus your attention on other things that are on your to-do list with the consequence that it becomes more alluring to do that ‘very important thing’.
“A year from now you may wish you had started today.” – Karen Lamb
Requirements for structured procrastination
You need a certain amount of self-deception. Yes, you need to ‘lie’ to yourself or as I like to call it; you need to trick yourself. You need to trick your mind into thinking that the ‘very important thing’ is actually not that important and that the other tasks on your to-do list are more important.
Luckily, procrastinators are unconsciously an expert in self-deception. When we finally start working on the ‘very important thing’ that we kept postponing we often feel the need to reward ourselves for our good behavior. And although this may seem like a positive reinforcement of our behavior, the reward that we award ourselves is often excessive in relation with the amount of time we actually worked on that ‘very important thing’. But you deserved it, right?
How structured procrastination works
Start by tricking yourself about the priority level of the tasks you need to do. So you’re creating a situation in your mind where you lower the priority level of the ‘very Important thing’ (but in reality it’s still the same) and value the priority level of the other tasks on your to-do list as higher than the ‘very important thing’ (when in fact they’re also still the same).
When you act like the other things on your to-do list are more important then it’ll be much easier to take action on the important task. Besides that, our lives are dynamic, so every day or week, new tasks are being added to our to-do list with some even having a higher priority level.
This makes it also more tempting to get started on the important task, because it’s priority level lowers. Finally, when you’re doing all the other things on your to-do list, a momentum of execution is created which brings focus back to the most important task of all.
“If you don’t pay appropriate attention to what has your attention, it will take more of your attention than it deserves.” – David Allen
The beauty of structured procrastination is that it’s not forcing you to learn anything new. Instead, structured procrastination goes with the flow and wants you to give in to the temptation of procrastinating. That’s why you should give it your very best shot, because finally there is a solution for procrastination that accepts you for who you are and still manages to make you more productive.
What are your own unique approaches to deal with procrastination? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!
Author: Krishan Kalpoe
The most important thing you need to know about the subconscious mind is that it is always “on”. That is, it is active day and night, regardless of what you are doing. The subconscious mind controls your body. You cannot hear this silent inner process with your conscious effort. You need to start taking care of your subconscious mind. It is vital to maintain your mind in a state of expectation of only good events and make the usual mode of your thinking based solely on loyalty, justice and love.
Faith and belief are the foundation of the subconscious. Do not forget that “you will be rewarded according to your faith”.
A Protestant minister who suffered from lung cancer wrote about his methods of transferring thoughts of perfect health into his subconscious mind: “Two or three times a day, I put my body and soul in a relaxed state, repeating these words:
“My feet are completely relaxed, my legs are relaxed. Right now, my stomach muscles are relaxing. My heart is beating quietly, my breathing is calm and relaxed. My head is completely relaxed, my whole body is completely relaxed and calm.”
After about five minutes, when I got into a drowsy, sleepy state, I repeated: “The perfection of the God’s plan finds its expression in me. My subconscious mind is filled with thoughts of that I have perfect health. My image is spotless before God.” This priest managed to heal himself.
Here are some brief recommendations to help you use your subconscious power for your best:
1. Your subconscious mind not only controls all the processes of the body but also knows the answers to the various questions and can solve many problems.
2. Before going to bed, refer to your subconscious mind with a specific request and soon you will see its miraculous power in action.
3. Anything that is captured in your subconscious mind will directly affect you in the form of emotions, circumstances and events. Therefore, you need to watch closely what thoughts and ideas govern your mind.
4. All experiences arise from unfulfilled desires. If you are focused on various issues and problems, thus will be the reaction of your subconscious mind.
5. When you have a specific goal or dream, consciously repeat this statement: “I believe that the power of the subconscious, which gave me this desire, will embody it in me now.”
6. Stress, anxiety and fear can disrupt the natural rhythm of breathing, heart rate and work of any other part of the body. Cultivate in your subconscious mind thoughts of health, peace and harmony, and all the functions of the body will return to normal.
7. Fill your subconscious with expectations of the best experiences and emotions, and your thoughts will become a reality.
8. Imagine a positive outcome of your problems, fully feel the enthusiasm from what has happened. All your fantasies and feelings are clearly accepted by your subconscious and then implemented in life.
“I’m driving him away, I just know I am,” she sniffed. “It’s just that I love him so much and I can’t bear the thought of losing him!” Emma had been badly hurt before by her former cheating fiancé. Once bitten, twice shy. Part of her knew that her new man was decent, caring, and honest, but the emotional bit of Emma felt that it was “just a matter of time” before things went wrong.
“If he’s quiet I actually start panicking! I’m thinking: What’s he planning? Is he going to finish with me? Has he met someone else? If I don’t know exactly where he is I get suspicious. He constantly has to reassure me. What can I do?”
Insecurity spoils relationships. Insecurity drives people to become too ‘clingy’ or needy and this creates problems.
Feeling insecure in a relationship is natural up to a point, at least until the relationship “settles”. Let’s look at this in more depth:
Relationships: A security issue
When we enter an intimate relationship we can feel very emotionally vulnerable; especially if we have felt let down or hurt in previous relationships.
- Will they reject me?
- Have I done something to upset them?
- This is just too good to last!
These are the typical thoughts and feelings of the chronically insecure partner. Being insecure is a whole lot of hard work. So what does it involve?
Seeing problems where none exist
When we become anxious about anything, we start looking for signs of things ‘going wrong’ (nervous flyers look out for signs that the aircraft is in trouble). And, of course, we usually find what we’re looking for, even if it isn’t really there at all.
We perform constant monitoring: “Do they look fed up? Why did they say that? Who’s this other person they’ve mentioned? Should I feel threatened? Are they less attentive? Why did they pause after I suggested we meet up?” All this is exhausting.
Emma said she had often felt inadequate and “not good enough” to be with her current partner. She couldn’t possibly understand what he could see in her.
She also told me she had ended many previous relationships because of her insecurity. “It felt easier for me to end it before they did!” Walking away rather than risk the pain of feeling abandoned can seem the easiest thing to do. But we all need the comforts and support that intimacy can bring us. So what can you do if insecurity is blighting your relationships?
1) Stop confusing imagination with reality
Making stuff up and then believing it is a sure-fire way to self-torment.
The insecure flyer will hear the normal mechanism of the air conditioning and twist it within their imagination to signify impending doom via crash and burn. They’ll imagine the bored look on an air steward’s face to be barely concealed terror because, “He must know something we don’t!” The over-imaginative flyer may even fantasize the sound of the landing gear coming down is an engine falling from the plane. They scare themselves by assuming what they imagine represents reality.
There are normal ‘mechanisms’ to any relationship. There are ebbs and flows and mood changes, moments of intimacy and closeness and comfortable spaces. These ebbs and flows are normal. Wanting to be absolutely close and intimate all the time is like wanting an aeroplane to never make a sound or a movement.
Next time you feel insecure, ask yourself what it is you are imagining. Write it down on paper under, ‘Stuff I am making up in my head.’ Being able to distinguish between what you imagine and what is actually happening is a massive step toward self-assurance. Which neatly links to…
2) Avoid the Certainty Trap
Overcoming relationship insecurity is partly about becoming less controlling. This may sound strange, but feeling that: “This relationship must be exactly as I think it should be!” is a form of over-control. A sign of insecurity in relationships is when the desire for certainty becomes too strong.
Having to know whether your partner really loves you, having to know this or having to know that puts a lot of unnecessary strain and tension into the relationship. The fact is, we all have to live with uncertainty. Insecure people can still feel insecure even when they are told they are loved. Wanting what is not possible (complete and utter certainty in all and everything forever) is not possible because imagination can still make up doubts. So stop looking for certainty where it doesn’t apply.
Self-assurance comes from starting to relax with uncertainty. Wanting to know for certain that someone will be with you forever prevents you enjoying the here and now. Nothing in life is certain.
3) Give the relationship room to breathe
When you plant a seed in the ground, you need to give it access to sunlight, water, and air; you need to give it space to develop. Your relationship needs room to breathe. Schedule in some ‘separate time’ and just see it for what it is. The developing flower needing space to grow isn’t a sign that it is heading for collapse.
4) Stop ‘mind reading’
Constantly wondering what your partner is thinking is a quick route to anxiety. If they say one thing don’t assume they mean another. If they say nothing don’t assume that their silence is significant, either.
Many men relax by not talking. Constantly wondering and asking what someone is thinking is a dead end because even if they do tell, will you believe them anyway?
‘Mind reading’ happens when we assume we know what someone is thinking when we don’t. When you stop doing it, you really begin to respect someone’s privacy because everyone deserves the right to have space to think their own thoughts. Constantly asking, “What are you thinking?” can make someone want to withdraw further.
5) Stop comparing current relationships to past ones
Have you ever taken an instant disliking/liking to someone merely because they reminded you of someone else who you disliked/liked? Some people do this with whole relationships. Because they were in a relationship with someone who was abusive, very critical or dishonest, or who left them, they respond to a new partner defensively or angrily when, in fact, the new partner is not really like the old one at all.
The extreme form of this ‘sloppy comparison’ can lead to destructive over-generalizations such as, “All men are lying bastards!” or “All women are promiscuous money grabbers!”
If you suspect you have been making faulty unfair comparisons between your current partner and a former one, then write a list of all the destructive traits of your former partner. Write next to this list all the ways your current partner is different and review this list regularly. This will help you to stop assuming that the future has to be like the past.
6) For security: Seek self-assurance
Rather than always looking to the other person to make you feel secure in your relationship, get into the habit of reassuring yourself. Start to challenge your own fears and imaginings rather than just accepting them. Ask yourself: “Hold on a second. What real evidence is there for this fear?” At the same time you can focus on the thought: “Okay, nothing in this life is certain and I can live with that. And even if this relationship did end, I’m strong enough to go through it and ride it and will have learnt things from it.” We all need to go with the flow in relationships. What we fear will be ‘the end of the world’ if it happens never really is.
Sit down, close your eyes, and strongly imagine feeling relaxed and secure around your partner. This will train your brain to feel that “whatever happens, I’ll be okay.
7) Focus on the good
Relationships are meant to be fun (at least some of the time). Insecure people look for signs of what’s not working. I want you to look for signs of what is.
Doing this will get you and your partner feeling naturally more positive.
No meaningful relationship will always totally work all the time. Being too black or white about relationships spells trouble. There are always some difficulties, but keep focussing on what is good.
This doesn’t mean that you have to accept anyone who will accept you, even if they are obviously not right for you. But it does mean that if there are occasional problems, you don’t have to ‘throw the baby out with the bathwater’ and become so destructive that the relationship ends or so clingy that your partner ends it for you.
Emma learned to relax and enjoy her relationship. She stopped feeling she had to control what her partner thought or did and her new laidback attitude made it easier for their love to genuinely blossom.
A good relationship is there for you to enjoy together, to share resources and develop together in healthy ways. If someone really does treat you badly or lies and cheats, then feeling insecure is a natural and justified response. However, if you’re actually in a generally good relationship, then follow these tips because what you have is precious.
But possibly not as precious as the knowledge that whatever happens, you can relax because you’ll be okay.
Taking true responsibility for yourself gives you back the power to create exactly what you want in your life.
This means that you must take responsibility for your thoughts, words, and actions.
Taking responsibility for yourself gives you true freedom. By taking responsibility for yourself, and only yourself, you become aware of the true connection between your inner and outer world. You are the one and only creator of your life. There is no one else to blame for what your life is. When we take responsibility, we take back control of our experience. Taking responsible control means that you understand the basic truths of the Universe, and use your understanding of your inner world to create consciously and respectfully through your actions.
The Gift of Responsibility gives you freedom, because it grants you true awareness of your power as a creator.
“A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life.”
~ James Allen
- Awareness is the first step to understanding that you create everything in your experience. Every part of your life, good or bad, has a root somewhere within your mind.
- The truth can hurt sometimes, but by taking charge of the fact that you are creating your own experience, you can finally take control of what you are inviting into your experience. Without the Gift of Responsibility, people do not realize that they are the creators of their own experience, and live their lives reacting to the things around them.
- To consciously create your life with responsibility, act, don’t react. You may have heard that one of the definitions of insanity is performing the same action over and over yet expecting different results. When someone reacts to what is happening around them without realizing that their attention to these things are just drawing more of the same to them, they see the same things, good or bad, repeat themselves over and over again in their lives.
- Using the Gift of Responsibility means that you may have to go through a period of change where you admit that you were causing negative or painful experiences to happen to you because of your thoughts and actions. This can be hard, because we do not want to take responsibility for our lives. We want to blame others for what is happening to us. But nothing “just happens” to us, we create our own lives through our thoughts, words, actions and beliefs.
- The fear inside of us has been in control for too long. Freedom is given to those who are aware of what the fear makes them do. Fear is like a parasite inside of you, and it feels very threatened by the idea of freedom and of living with conscious awareness. This internal parasite feeds off of drama, judgments, negative emotions and off of your fear of change. If it can’t get these things out of you, it will have you “attack” other people with your thoughts, words, body language, and even with your physical body to get the energy it needs to survive. Be aware of this fear parasite as you learn and grow in wisdom and experience.
- If you can become aware of how fear uses you to feed itself, you can overcome it by simply being aware. When you become aware of the choices that fear is trying to make for you, you have taken responsibility for yourself, and are one step closer to being completely free.
- The cause of our problems is not outside of us. We do not need to wait for anyone or anything to happen to change our lives. The beginning of change always lies within us. By taking full and complete responsibility for both the roots and the fruits in our lives, we will change our lives for the better. To change the fruits you must change the roots. If you want your life to change and if you want less to complain about, you are going to need to change how you think.
- Awareness is the first step to creating change.
When you allow others to be responsible for themselves, you free yourself to work on you. No need to worry about controlling others, their choices will always be theirs, no matter how much you try to scheme about how to make them do what you want. There is more than one way to be on this Earth, and who are you to tell other people how to live their lives?
They are responsible, so let them live their own adventure, and you will become more free to live yours.
“I will not surrender responsibility for my life and my actions.”
~ John Enoch Powell
Happiness and success in your personal and professional life is about making yourself more positive so you can be motivated enough to do what needs to be done to achieve your goals. Super positive people know this and use the power of words to motivate themselves (and others) to reach their goals.
Happy, positive people are their own biggest cheerleaders. Even when things don’t look too good, positive people speak positively and remain hopeful that things will work out in the end. That helps them stay focused, steadfast and joyful on the oft turbulent path to success.
While talking to yourself may sound like an odd thing to do, it’s extremely effective. It can have an outsize effect on yourself and others. That is why we encourage you to speak these statements that super positive people say all the time. Be sincere; don’t just say what positive people say for the sake of saying it. Say what they say and truly mean it.
1. “I’m not perfect—and that’s OK.”
Sometimes we feel like we need to be perfect before we can take our next step in life, such as go into partnership or launch a business. At such times, super positive people remind themselves that they’re not perfect, and being imperfect is perfectly okay. Perfectionism holds many of us back from success. Take a second to admit that you’re not perfect, but that’s ok. Then go forth and start. Take the next step. You will be fine.
2. “I’m a little scared, but I will overcome this fear.”
Fear is responsible for many lost opportunities and foregone dreams. When super positive feel fear crippling their efforts, they admit they are scared but also tell themselves they can beat their fear. This simple act gives them the strength and courage they need to face their fears and overcome. Acknowledge fear can be crippling and make a choice to overcome it. Tell yourself you will prevail. Fear only has the power you give it.
3. “I can do this!”
Right before super positive people take a challenge or step into a difficult situation, they tell themselves they can do it. Because, as Confucius said, “Those who think they can, and those who think they can’t are both usually right.” When Steve Jobs ordered a special kind of glass for the first iPhone, manufacturers were aghast at the stringent request. “Don’t be afraid,” Jobs said. “You can do it. Get your mind around it. You can do it.” And they did it. If you believe you can, you are right. If you believe you can’t, you are also right!
4. “I’m good enough, right now, just like this.”
When super positive people are ready to push harder to reach a goal and/or improve, they steel themselves for the push with the reminder that they’re good enough, right now, today. Say it out loud: “I’m good enough, right now, just like this.” You will feel a sense of power, relief and even self-acceptance, which is good motivation.
5. “Look how far I’ve come!”
The importance of acknowledging your achievements is huge. Super positive people acknowledge their achievements all the time and that helps them face their challenges confidently. It reminds them that they have done it before and they can do it again. Speak these words out loud and acknowledge that your efforts have brought results before. Heck, throw a party if you want to celebrate your achievements. It’s extremely gratifying and empowering to know what your efforts can bring.
6. “You can count on me.”
Super positive people are aware of the importance of being there for people. They know that you cannot reach your peak by ignoring everyone else. As an African proverb says, “One finger cannot kill a louse.” You have to pull together to make a positive difference. And so they say to others, “You can count on me,” and they mean it. Say it and mean it. Be that person standing by to help. You’ll be stronger for it. Nobody achieve anything great all alone.
7. “I believe in you.”
People doubt themselves sometimes. You do, I do, we all do. Even the most confident among us sometimes needs a friend to remind them that they are good enough. Super positive people are these kinds of friends. They say to others, “I believe in you” and guide them to a better way. Say this to others and you will be an inspiration to them. You’ll comfort and foster gratitude and positivity all around you. That’s what life’s about.
8. “I trust you.”
We all need to be pushed at times, especially when we fall short. Super positive people have faith in people. They step up to push and be more of a coach or mentor to others. They trust in the abilities of others and tell them as much to inspire them to be better. Say to people, “I trust you.” It’s a powerful statement that brings out the best in people. As the late, great NFL coach Vince Lombardi rightly said: “Leadership is getting someone to do what they don’t want to do, to achieve what they want to achieve.”
9. “You really impress me.”
When others put a marked effort or demonstrate great skill or knowledge in something, super positive people are quick to recognize these things and commend them for it. People love and appreciate that guesture. If you want to see how effective such sentiments have, just read this short bit of dialogue from the 1997 movie As Good As It Gets in which Jack Nicholson’s character offers Helen Hunt’s character the ultimate compliment: “You make me want to be a better man.” Tell people they impress you sincerely. It shows you see people’s good side and you appreciate them. That is guaranteed to elicit positive responses.
10. “I’m sorry.”
Super positive people are not haughty as to refuse to apologize when they’ve clearly committed a fault or done something worthy of expressing regret. They are also not inconsiderate as to refuse to express their feelings of sympathy to someone who deserves it. They say, “I’m sorry” all the time when it is deserved. Say this too, and mean it. People appreciate these two little words greatly when said sincerely. However, they resent the same words and find them annoying when said insincerely.
11. “Let’s take some time off.”
Super positive people know that true happiness and success is a well-rounded approach. It’s an approach filled with laughter, family, friends, vacations and hours of downtime on the weekends. So when they (or someone else) seems like they could use some time off, and it’s appropriate, they say: “Let’s take some time off!” Workloads vary for everyone, but taking a break or vacation can be the best decision you make for yourself. It will allow you to rest and re-energized for true success and well-being.
12. “You’re welcome.”
Instead of a bland little, “Yep” or “No worries” or “No problem,” truly positive people say, “You are welcome” when people express their gratitude to them. Saying “You are welcome” doesn’t deflate another person’s gratitude, rather it dignifies it. It shows that you not only acknowledge the sentiments, but that you believe that person deserves your act(s) of kindness, help or recognition. Say “You are welcome” to people when they thank you for something positive, worthy or nice you did.
13. “Thank you.”
This is one of the most overlooked but impactful simple phrases in the English language. Super positive people do not underestimate its power. They say “Thank you” all the time when people do positive, kind things to them. Say thanks to people. These two little words pack a heck of a punch and spread a wave of positive energy all around.
Have you ventured into a new business? Started on a dream? Worked your way up in a career?
If you’ve pursued a new venture and failed, you have two choices: quit or keep on going. To stay resilient in the face of defeat is a difficult task. Not everyone can hang in there when circumstances are challenging.
When I started blogging, I had difficulty getting traction. Not many people read my blog and not many sites accepted my guest posts. I would write content and find that not many people would share it on social media. I would reach out to more prominent bloggers and would never hear back. I wanted to quit every day on this journey of building up a blog that would help people.
While there’s still much more room to grow, my fledging blog is growing. I want to share with you some of the mindsets and attitudes I adopted to keep going on my blogging journey.
Here are 6 common qualities in people who never quit:
1. Never take “no” for an answer
No matter what others say, don’t listen to them. Do not let the gate-keepers stop you. Don’t let your success depend on other people or on an answer from someone else.
If someone says, “no,” use it as fuel to keep going. Use “no” as motivation to say “yes” to yourself by continuing to work on your dreams. A “no” from someone or from life is never permanent. Think of “no” as a test – it’s your chance to transform “no” to “yes.”
“Don’t dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer.” – Denis Waitley
2. See a setback as a setup
It sure feels like you’re going backward, but going backward helps you gain momentum to go forward. You may see that life is throwing you curveballs, but it’s only helping you become a better hitter. Once you study the pitcher and understand how he pitches, you become better at hitting the ball out of the park.
Think of setbacks as preparation for doing things the right way. Setbacks are lessons on how to improve. Your setback is your real-life education on how to get there. The people who see their setbacks as setups for greater success will never quit. They welcome setbacks on their journey to success.
3. See challenges as opportunities
While some see failure as a dead end, others never stop looking for the open window. They seek a new perspective, an opportunity, another way. They never accept a dead end as final and they look for ways to turn the dead end into something that benefits them.
They reframe the problem, ask different questions and try to come up with more creative solutions. What is the way out? Where is the opportunity to move forward? How can this work out in your favor?
4. Look to bounce back higher
People who don’t quit know that the further back they fall or the worse off they are, the higher up they’ll go. Again, the farther you fall back, the higher you’ll rise. When you fall behind or fail, you’ll gain intense learning and an understanding of what didn’t work. The more insight you gain from failure, the quicker and faster you’ll move forward.
5. Know that success comes after failure
The most successful people in the world are the people who have failed the most. The authors who were rejected became best-selling authors. The inventors who failed, created the most transformational inventions.
The products that failed led to more creative and necessary products. A basketball player who found himself cut from his high school team became the greatest athlete of our generation. Failure is the breeding ground for success.
“The phoenix must burn to emerge.” – Janet Fitch
6. Learn, improve and try again
People who don’t quit will learn from mistakes and get insights from failure. They move forward in life with the lessons they learned. They make changes and get better at what they do. Every time they try and fail, they learn and improve.
They don’t let temporary obstacles become permanent walls to success. They keep moving forward. They try one more time – wiser and with priceless experience under their belts.
Which quality do you need to improve? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!
Source: Addicted to Success