Category: Psychology Readings.

How Our Perception Of Beauty Has Changed Over Time!

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Did you know that just because you are a beautiful blonde size 2 today does not mean that you would be considered beautiful in times past? Much like fashion trends, the perception of beauty has consistently changed over the course of centuries, sometimes for the better, and unfortunately, sometimes for the worse. One thing, however, that will never change is the fact that we will all strive to fit in with what is considered attractive as this is part of human nature.

The art of fitting in has changed drastically from one decade to the next. Don’t believe us? Think back to a time when MC Hammer pants and mullets were all the rage. Trends change for a variety of reasons, most of which leave us looking back at our former selves with laughter. What exactly were we thinking with that floral pantsuit or sequined leotard?

Changes in beauty can be dramatic over time. How has the perception of beauty changed over the past 60 years? How has it changed over the past 600 years? Thanks to a lack of art to depict people’s fashion and features, there is little known about fashion prior to the Renaissance Era. However, we do know what has happened with trends ever since. Here’s a look at 10 ways our perception of beauty has changed over time starting with an era where plump was en vogue.

The Renaissance Era

RenaissanceThe Renaissance Era lasted from the 1400′s well into the 1500′s and was a time in which people had a different view on beauty than most of the eras that followed it, especially in terms of the ideal body type. According to much of the artwork of the era, women that had extra fat and wider hips were considered to be the most beautiful. In most of these paintings from the era, fuller figured women were shown in settings where they were courted by dashing and handsome men.

Blonde hair also became a big trend during the Renaissance, as colors started to move away from darker hues, making lighter and brighter colors all the rage. Makeup during this era was extremely pale, but lips were meant to be bright red. Clothing was not very popular, at least according to the paintings of the time. Large dresses were trendy for those who did opt for fashionable clothes, and typically featured oversized shoulders and sleeves that looked like small puffy balloons.

 

#9 – The Victorian Era

VictorianThe Victorian Era, between the mid 1800’s and the rest of the century, saw a complete reversal from the beauty standards of the Renaissance in terms of body types. In the Victorian Era, slim waists were all the rage, to the point where it became a danger. It was a contest to have the smallest waistline, with clothing that could help women reduce their waist down to 12 inches. The clothes were constricting to the point where breathing was a chore, causing some women to even break their ribs in the process.

In addition to small waists, women also wanted to make their behinds look larger than ever before, which was better accentuated by such small waists. Petticoats and bustles became popular, which made for an enhanced look in the rear. Colors were not as bright as they were in the Renaissance Era either, calling for bolder and darker colors. These trends in style went completely against the religious views at the time, which was said to be a work of evil.

 

#8 – The Roaring Twenties

Roaring-20sThe Roaring Twenties came after the end of the First World War, and started a brand new trend in beauty that was a welcome change from the Victorian Era in terms of comfort. Women no longer had to have tiny waists and large posteriors to fit in anymore, as concealing womanly curves was more common. Short dresses in the flapper style were a lot more comfortable (and popular) than the long dresses from the Victorian Era.

Corsets were still popular, but were far from being as lethal as they were elastic with an extra give that was far from dangerous as it was used to conceal any bumps around the waist. The other big beauty trend was the bob hairstyle, which was combined with pale skin and thin eyebrows to achieve the perfect look at the time. Before the 1920’s, makeup styles were seen as low class, but everything changed during the Prohibition Era when everyone seemingly came together in stylized fashion to find illegal ways to drink together.

 

 

#7 – The Golden Age

Golden-AgeThe Golden Age was named as such for the fact that it was the Golden Age in Hollywood. This era spanned from the end of the Roaring Twenties to the end of the Second World War. The appearance of new celebrities on the screen made women more self-conscious than ever before with a strong desire to look like the stars they saw on the silver screen. Women took to the gym to work on their bodies, making muscles the new trend in body beauty.

Some of the most notable fashion designers of all time came to prominence in this era known for its padded bras to help enhance appearances for a starlet look. As long hair grew more popular, the bobs of the 20’s were grown out without preference to a single color of hair, as there were redhead, brunette and blonde stars. Makeup also became more feminine and didn’t have many layers, as natural beauty was more celebrated in this time.

 

 

#6 – Mid-Century

Mid-CenturyThe 1950’s marked the middle of the century, a time where the World Wars were finally over and beauty changed yet again. The ideal body type was no longer a muscular one, but instead one with curves and feminine appeal. A lot of this had to do with the emergence of Marilyn Monroe; who would become the symbol of beauty in the era. Marilyn was the epitome of the hourglass figure which you can still see is popular today.

The ideals of the time were very conservative, so women dressed the part. It was a common belief in society that women should not leave the house without looking perfect from head to toe. Some of the fashion trends included button down sweaters and other long dresses that showed very little flesh. Short hair was back in style, but curly styles were trendier than the bob of the 20’s. The quest for perfect skin made makeup a must-have in the 1950’s.

 

 

#5 – The Hippie Era

Hippie-EraPerhaps there was no bigger contrast between two consecutive eras than the one that happened between the 1950’s and the 1960’s. Modeling started to become almost as popular as acting in films. Because of the growing popularity, many of the models that we saw at the time were very thin. This thin body type was a popular one for non-hippies who, at the time, preferred to wear knee high boots, short skirts and tunics. For the hippie types, however, things were completely different.

For those who attended Woodstock, the look was completely natural. There was no ‘ideal body type’ for the culture, and makeup was completely ignored. Women did not feel forced to fit into beauty trends of the time, and uniqueness was widely accepted. Sunglasses, headbands, tie-dye shirts and bell bottom jeans were all the rage. As you can see and perhaps experienced firsthand, these were two completely different looks at the time, which is a rare occurrence on the list.

 

#4 – The Disco Era

DiscoFor the last 100 years or so, music has had a lot of influence on what the ideal type of beauty is in society. Instead of the hard rocking late 1960’s, popular music shifted over into the Disco scene (albeit for a very brief period). Thin body types were still trendy during the Disco Era, but it was taken to an even farther extreme than we saw in the Hippie Era. Body types in the Disco Era were pronounced with high waist jeans for an even slimmer look and tight wrap dresses.

Perhaps the biggest trend we saw in the 1970’s that is still talked about today is the hairstyle, which was made popular by a poster featuring Farrah Fawcett. Long and blonde was how it started, but feathering was the vital addition that people needed in terms of hairstyles to fit in. One more trend that started in the 1970’s that we still see today is the addition of tanning beds for a look that is much easier than spending hours in the Sun.

 

 

#3 – The 80’s

1980sOne era that we will always look back on and wonder, “What were we thinking?” is the 1980’s. The 80’s saw the rise in VHS tapes that taught aerobic fitness as it made its way into the living rooms of millions. The body type of the instructors in the videos were ideal at the time. And, even worse, the instructor’s notorious spandex suits somehow became an acceptable outfit to wear in public. Maybe even worse than those outfits were the shoulder pads that made women look like NFL linebackers.

Hairstyles in the 80’s quickly ditched the feathered look and went straight to the hairspray department as bigger hair was an arms race, which is something we are forever glad is well documented in films and pictures. Makeup was also enlarged, as the more colors there were, the better it looked. Big blue eyeliner and bright lipstick made for a weird contrast, but it was ‘in’ at the time. Models also popularized thicker eyebrows, which was a big contrast to previous eras.

 

#2 – The 90’s

1990sFlashy over the top looks had gone by the wayside by the end of the 1980’s only to be traded in for something that was beyond somber as the grunge era made its way into style. Flannel, lumberjack type looks were popular in parts of the country, while others wanted to look like models of the time. Heroin chic kicked off in the 1990’s, and looking thin hit critical (lack of) mass as looking as though you have been addicted to drugs for years became a trend.

The late 1990’s thankfully saw a shift towards normalcy, as shows like “Friends” helped to introduce new trends that were more conventional and even started the biggest hair trend of the decade, known as the ‘Rachel.’ Even guys became interested in hair trends in the late 1990’s thanks to Eminem and his bleach blonde hair, which other singers adopted to make it even more popular. Now, we can all look back at our yearbook photos from the era and have a nice laugh at ourselves.

 

 

#1 – The New Millennium

New-MillenniumWe can say that the trends of today are completely normal but, to be honest, we are already laughing about what we thought was trendy in the 1990’s and that seems like it was just yesterday. The pressure to look thin is still around and people continue to take it to dangerous measures as plastic surgery has become more common than ever. It still hasn’t been perfected, though, so the results can look terrible if done in the wrong way.

But what is the biggest trend in fashion today? It’s hard to say as everyone has taken a very unique approach to their fashion. Thanks to social media and a way of showing what we dress like, there is no universal way to look or dress. No matter what you want to do to yourself, there is a tutorial you can find online. This means that we are slowly starting to see the death of ‘fashion trends.’ We’ll see what the next decade looks like, but we’re sure it will be different.

 

 

Source.

 

Quantum Theory Proves That Consciousness Moves to Another Universe After Death

A book titled “Biocentrism: How Life and Consciousness Are the Keys to Understanding the Nature of the Universe“, published in the USA, has stirred up the Internet because of the notion that life does not end when the body dies and can last forever. The author of this publication, scientist Robert Lanza, has no doubts that this may be possible.

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Beyond time and space

Lanza is an expert in regenerative medicine and scientific director at Advanced Cell Technology Company. While he is known for his extensive research on stem cells, he was also famous for several successful experiments on cloning endangered animal species.

But not so long ago, the scientist turned his attention to physics, quantum mechanics and astrophysics. This explosive mixture has given birth to the new theory of biocentrism, which the professor has been preaching ever since.

The theory implies that death simply does not exist. It is an illusion which arises in the minds of people. It exists because people identify themselves with their body. They believe that the body is going to perish, sooner or later, thinking that their consciousness will disappear too. In fact, consciousness exists outside of constraints of time and space. It is able to be anywhere: in the human body and outside of it. That fits well with the basic postulates of quantum mechanics, according to which a certain particle can be present anywhere and an event can happen in several, sometimes countless, ways.

Lanza believes that multiple universes can exist simultaneously. These universes contain multiple ways for possible scenarios to occur. In one universe, the body can be dead. And in another it continues to exist, absorbing consciousness which migrated to this universe.

This means that a dead person, while traveling through the ‘tunnel’, ends up in a similar worldhe or she once inhabited, but this time alive. And so on, infinitely.

Multiple worlds

multiverse parallel universesThis hope-instilling but extremely controversial theory by Lanza has many unwitting supporters – not just ‘mere mortals’ who want to live forever, but also some well-known scientists. These are physicists and astrophysicists who tend to agree with the existence of parallel worlds and who suggest the possibility of multiple universes, known as the Multiverse theory.

Science fiction writer H.G. Wells was the first to come up with this concept, which was proposed in his story “The Door in the Wall” in 1895. 62 years after it was published, the idea was developed byHugh Everett in his graduate thesis at the Princeton University. It basically states that at any given moment the universe divides into countless similar instances. And the next moment, these “newborn” universes split in a similar way. You may be present in some of these worlds – you may be reading this article in one universe or watching TV in another.

The triggering factor for these multiplying worlds is our actions, explained Everett. When we make certain choices, one universe instantly splits into two different versions of outcomes.

In the 1980s, Andrei Linde, scientist from the Lebedev Physical Institute in Russia developed the theory of multiple universes. He is now a professor at Stanford University.

Linde explained: “Space consists of many inflating spheres, which give rise to similar spheres, and those, in turn, produce spheres in even greater numbers, and so on to infinity. In the universe, they are spaced apart. They are not aware of each other’s existence. But they represent parts of the same physical universe.

The fact that our universe is not alone is supported by data received from the Planck space telescope. Using the data, scientists created the most accurate map of the microwave background, the so-called cosmic microwave background radiation, which has remained since the inception of our universe. They also found that the universe has a lot of anomalies represented by black holes and extensive gaps.

Theoretical physicist Laura Mersini-Houghton from the North Carolina University argues that the anomalies of the microwave background exist due to the fact that our universe is influenced by other universes existing nearby. And holes and gaps are a direct result of attacks from neighboring universes.

Soul quanta

So, there is abundance of places or other universes where our soul could migrate after death, according to the theory of neo-biocentrism. But does the soul exist?

consciousness parallel universeProfessor Stuart Hameroff from the University of Arizona has no doubts about the existence of eternal soul. Last year, he announced that he has found evidence that consciousness does not perish after death.

According to Hameroff, the human brain is the perfect quantum computer, and the soul, or consciousness, is simply information stored at the quantum level.It can be transferred, following the death of the body; quantum information carried by consciousness merges with our universe and exists infinitely. In his turn, Lanza proves that the soul migrates to another universe. That is the main difference his theory has from the similar ones.

 

Sir Roger Penrose, a well-known British physicist and expert in mathematics from Oxford,supports this theory and claims to have found traces of contact with other universes. Together, the scientists are developing a quantum theory to explain the phenomenon of consciousness.They believe that they have found carriers of consciousness, the elements that accumulate information during life and “drain” consciousness somewhere else after death. These elements are located inside protein-based microtubules (neuronal microtubules), which previously have been attributed a simple role of reinforcement and transport channeling inside a living cell. Based on their structure, microtubules are best suited to function as carriers of quantum properties inside the brain. That is mainly because they are able to retain quantum states for a long time, meaning they can function as elements of a quantum computer.

 

Source: The Learning Mind

Study Suggests That Depression May Be a Sign of Spiritual Enlightenment.

Depression as sign of spiritual enlightenmentCould depression be an indication of spiritual enlightenment?

I have a plethora of opinions concerning depression. Considering I have been to therapists my entire life, those opinions war with each other and force a place into my brain. I do have depression, or to be exact, I suffer from Bipolar disorder which entails both depression and mania. I was told that this was a disease, that I would suffer for the rest of my life. I am medicated, as well.

So imagine the churning of my thoughts when I read that depression may actually be the gateway to a spiritual enlightenment, that on the other side of some door, I could find the answer to my pain. Of course, this doesn’t include the mania, and that’s a subject for another day.

So basically, is depression an illness or simply a step toward becoming one with all existence? I have to look further now, since, of the late, I’ve been hungry for knowledge in all areas. Now this, I have to examine, as well.

Enlightened by the darkness

Dr. Lisa Miller, researcher and professor of clinical psychology at the Columbia University, through a dark time in her life, discovered there may be more to depression than illness. Driven by her despair during infertility and sharing this despair with her husband, Miller began to gradually absorb the messages of healers and helpers along the way. These healers offered support with words of wisdom about greater things in store for the Millers. Not only were there words of wisdom, but included in this journey were objects, animals and healers bound in synchronicity. What some may have seen as strange moments of coincidence, the Millers saw as a sign of what was to come. Maybe these synchronicities held the answers to their questions.

These moments ultimately left Miller with questions, questions about whether or not depression was really a disease.

If depression was a disease, then why do traumatic events in life cause this state-of-mind?

Miller’s team of researchers set out to find the answers to these questions, and they did! The study recruited a great number of those who suffered from a severity of depression which included long family histories of the ‘illness’. They paired these individuals with those who had long lineages of spiritual presence, for comparison.

It seems that the brain does actually look different in those who are depressed as opposed to those who have experienced spiritual enlightenment. Both groups showed a marked influence in the cortex region of the brain. For those with depression, the region was withered and small. Those experiencing spiritual enlightenment, however, had large thick regions in the cortex. To Miller, depression and spiritual enlightenment seemed to be opposite sides of the coin, so this discovery was not all that surprising. It wasn’t just a metaphysical connection, it involved polarity.

Could it be? Could the cortex region only be experiencing starvation? If so, depression could indeed be a journey of reaching spiritual nourishment.

Wavelengths of the human brain

To help fortify this belief, results revealed that women, who had endured suffering before reaching spiritual enlightenment, exhibited an alpha wavelength, the same as with monks during meditation.  There are four wavelengths that the human brain can exhibit, including alpha, gamma, beta and delta. Alpha is the same frequency emitted by the earth, better known as the Schumann Resonance, so this means…

The spiritually engaged brain vibrates at the frequency of the earth’s crust.

– Dr. Lisa Miller

So, with this, new-to-my-ears information, I can add an additional layer to how I see depression. I cannot say that I am 100% convinced of this notion, but it is interesting. Miller does state that not all those who suffer from depression, suffer because they are on the road to an awakening, just some. I don’t know what differentiates the two either. One thing is for certain, whether it’s enlightenment or just an invisible disease, as I have come to believe over time, depression can be treated. Maybe, the deeper the depression, the closer you are to the answer. Just keep up the good fight, the answer could be right around the corner.

 

Source: The Learning Mind

Your Subconscious Mind Can Do Anything: How to Use Its Power Effectively

USING THE POWER OF SUBCONSCIOUS

The most important thing you need to know about the subconscious mind is that it is always “on”. That is, it is active day and night, regardless of what you are doing. The subconscious mind controls your body. You cannot hear this silent inner process with your conscious effort. You need to start taking care of your subconscious mind. It is vital to maintain your mind in a state of expectation of only good events and make the usual mode of your thinking based solely on loyalty, justice and love.

Faith and belief are the foundation of the subconscious. Do not forget that “you will be rewarded according to your faith”.

A Protestant minister who suffered from lung cancer wrote about his methods of transferring thoughts of perfect health into his subconscious mind: “Two or three times a day, I put my body and soul in a relaxed state, repeating these words:

My feet are completely relaxed, my legs are relaxed. Right now, my stomach muscles are relaxing. My heart is beating quietly, my breathing is calm and relaxed. My head is completely relaxed, my whole body is completely relaxed and calm.

After about five minutes, when I got into a drowsy, sleepy state, I repeated: “The perfection of the God’s plan finds its expression in me. My subconscious mind is filled with thoughts of that I have perfect health. My image is spotless before God.” This priest managed to heal himself.

Here are some brief recommendations to help you use your subconscious power for your best:

1. Your subconscious mind not only controls all the processes of the body but also knows the answers to the various questions and can solve many problems.

2. Before going to bed, refer to your subconscious mind with a specific request and soon you will see its miraculous power in action.

3. Anything that is captured in your subconscious mind will directly affect you in the form of emotions, circumstances and events. Therefore, you need to watch closely what thoughts and ideas govern your mind.

4. All experiences arise from unfulfilled desires. If you are focused on various issues and problems, thus will be the reaction of your subconscious mind.

5. When you have a specific goal or dream, consciously repeat this statement: “I believe that the power of the subconscious, which gave me this desire, will embody it in me now.”

6. Stress, anxiety and fear can disrupt the natural rhythm of breathing, heart rate and work of any other part of the body. Cultivate in your subconscious mind thoughts of health, peace and harmony, and all the functions of the body will return to normal.

7. Fill your subconscious with expectations of the best experiences and emotions, and your thoughts will become a reality.

8. Imagine a positive outcome of your problems, fully feel the enthusiasm from what has happened. All your fantasies and feelings are clearly accepted by your subconscious and then implemented in life.

5 Ways Our Unconscious Reacts to Rejection

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However much we would like to avoid them, rejections are a regular part of life. We get ignored by neighbors, out posts don’t get ‘liked’ on Facebook, our sexual advances get rebuffed by our partners, our colleagues go to lunches without us, we get blindsided by divorce, fired unexpectedly from our jobs, and ostracized by our families or communities. Rejection come in all shapes and sizes but the one thing they all have in common is how much they hurt.

Why do rejections hurt so much? The answer is quite surprising.

When scientists did fMRI studies (functional brain scans) they discovered that the same areas of the brain become activated when we experience rejection as when we experience physical pain. This is also why almost every culture around the world uses the term hurt feelings to characterize how we react to rejection—our feelings literally hurt.

There is good reason for rejection to mimic physical pain in our brain, or at least, there was good reason. Back in our hunter gatherer days, being ostracized from our tribe was akin to a death sentence, as we were unlikely to survive alone. We therefore developed an early warning system to let us know when we were at risk for getting ousted. People who experienced rejection as more painful were more likely to correct their behavior, stay in their tribe, and live to pass along their genes.

Now that we know what happens in our brains when we get rejected, let’s look at what happens in our minds.

 

1. Rejection causes surges of anger and aggression that we take out on those around us.

Getting dumped by someone we’re dating would make anyone angry. But the anger rejection causes is not just a momentary reaction. Numerous studies have demonstrated that even mild rejections make people subsequently redirect their anger and aggression toward ‘innocent’ bystanders such as our friends and family members. Because this can occur hours later, we might not be aware that having our poetry submission turned down that morning contributed to our barking at our partner when we got home that night.

The more significant the rejection, the more anger and aggression it is likely to generate. Indeed, in 2001, the Surgeon General of the U.S. issued a report stating that rejection was a greater risk for adolescent violence than drugs, poverty, or gang membership. Rejection is also the trigger for many incidents of violence against women. Of course, most people are not violent. But being irritable, having an edge to our tone, and losing our cool when we should not are all examples of ways in which we might be reacting to small rejections we’ve suffered in the recent past.

Seeking emotional support from someone who cares about us and hearing a kind word can help soothe our anger, especially if we do so immediately following the rejection.

2. Rejection damages our ‘need to belong’.

Another legacy of our tribal days is that we have a basic need to feel as though we have a place within our group—that we belong to a tribe. This need becomes destabilized when we get rejected, which adds to our discomfort and emotional pain.

One way to address this often unconscious need is to reconnect with our core group. Making plans to visit with or talk with a family member or someone from our ‘inner circle’ can help alleviate this internal tension and help us feel more connected and less alone in the immediate aftermath of a hurtful rejection.

3. Rejections make us join ‘fight club’ and beat ourselves up.

One of the most common yet unfortunate things we do after a rejection, especially a romantic one, is to list all our faults and inadequacies and kick our self-esteem when it’s already down. The reality is that most romantic rejections are a reflection of insufficient fit or match. The incompatibility might be in lifestyle, goals, interests, or appearance—one person prefers blonds and we’re a brunette, or another likes guys with scruff and we tend to be clean shaven—but that’s all it is, an insufficient fit.

Seeking fault in ourselves only deepens the emotional pain we feel and makes it harder for us to recover. Therefore, to avoid harming your already battered self-esteem, go with the interpretation that is most likely and least damaging—that you weren’t the right match for the person. If they give you the ‘It’s not you, it’s me” speech—believe them!

4. Rejection temporarily damages our ability to think clearly.

Just as it’s difficult to focus and concentrate when we have a terrible tooth ache, the emotional pain we feel after a rejection makes it difficult for us to think clearly. Studies found that merely thinking about being rejected or being alone was enough for people to score substantially lower on IQ tests, tests of decision making and tests of short term memory.

Therefore, when we’re in the immediate aftermath of a rejection, we should take time to address our emotional pain before we jump back into work or studying—when it’s possible to do so. One way to ease emotional pain is to reaffirm our self-worth by reminding ourselves of what we have to offer in the relevant sphere—as romantic partners, employees, or friends.

For example, if we were rejected by a dating partner, we should make a list of the valuable and meaningful qualities we believe we possess such as, loyalty, caring, supportiveness, emotional availability, having good listening skills, and others. We should then write a couple of paragraphs about why the quality is important in relationships and how we would manifest it in future situations.

Using such self-affirmation exercises has been shown to reduce emotional pain, boost self-esteem, and restore cognitive functioning after a rejection. Make sure to write things out, as writing helps us ‘absorb’ the message far more effectively than just thinking it through.

5. Rejection causes us to over generalize.

When we get rejected we tend to focus so much attention on our immediate hurt and what led to it that we are likely to lose perspective and overgeneralize the incident. Instead of lamenting a specific breakup we tell ourselves, I’ll always be alone!” Instead of feeling bad about getting rejected by a potential employer we say things like, “I’ll never find another job!”

We all tend to overgeneralize when we get rejected and we typically convince ourselves that our exaggerated fears and despair are warranted. However the truth is one breakup has nothing to do with another. The fact that you didn’t click with one person does not mean you won’t click with the next one, as everyone is different. The same goes for employers, friends, and any other rejection scenario.

In order to avoid deepening your emotional pain and damaging to your self-esteem even further, watch your language. Make sure to state things accurately and to not overgeneralize. Describe specific incidents and avoid phrasing things as themes and patterns. For example, don’t call your friends and say, “I got dumped again. Why do these things keep happening to me?” Instead, say, “He/she broke it off.” Or “It didn’t work out.”

Recognizing the five unconscious ways we react to rejection and taking steps to address them will minimize the emotional pain and anger you feel, help your self-esteem recover, and restore your clarity of thinking. Remember that psychological injuries are similar to physical ones—we can and should take steps to treat them. Doing so will make them heal faster and prevent them from becoming ‘infected’ and causing further damage down the road.
Source: Pick The Brain

5 Aquarius Relationship Secrets You Should Know – Thousand Thoughts

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In love compatibility, Aquarius is a quirky, independent and quite tricky to pin down individual, but one with a huge amount of love and joy to bring to the right partner. If you’re in love with an Aquarius, read on for a quick guide to the 5 Aquarius relationship secrets you should know.

1 – Debate is Good

Everything turns into a debate with Aquarius, but the first and probably most important love secret about this sign is that debate is a good thing. It is not the same as having an argument. Repeat that to yourself often if you’re in love with an Aquarius. Differences of opinion are often healthy for relationship compatibility; Aquarius is an expert at differences of opinion, managing to hold numerous contrasting opinions on the same subject before breakfast, so your relationship should certainly involve a healthy amount of intellectual to and fro. Even if you tire of the constant discussion and would rather just agree with your Aquarius lover for the sake of a quiet life – don’t be tempted. As soon as the intellectual battling dies off, Aquarius will be looking for a new partner elsewhere. Almost uniquely among zodiac signs, compatibility for Aquarius increases with the amount of sparring going on.

2 – Give your Aquarius Lover Options

In a similar vein, nothing is ever cut and dried for your Aquarius lover. When you need him or her to make a decision and you need it to be the decision you want it to be….resort to the same tactics you might use with a small child. Give them options. If you want to go out for the night, offer them a choice of cinema or gig, rather than a choice of going out or not going out. Think toddlers and vegetables – you know, do you want broccoli or carrots rather than do you want veg. It’s devious, but it works, and in terms of your relationship compatibility, Aquarius will thank you for not limiting their freedom and for still giving them a chance to make a choice.

3 – Be Willing to Abandon Routine

Aquarius is an unpredictable sign, ruled by Uranus, and your Aquarius lover has a pathological horror of routines, rules and regulations. Deciding that you must do the same thing at the same time each week is one of the quickest ways to lose an Aquarian’s heart, so be prepared to be spontaneous. This could be tricky if you’re more set in your ways than your Aquarius partner is, but you’re going to have to compromise on this one, because this freedom is simply too important to your partner. Try to look delighted when he or she announces that they’ve booked a surprise night away on the same day as you’re meant to be visiting your Mum. They haven’t done it deliberately. Honest. Compatibility Aquarius style means adjusting to the unexpected just when you could really do with the tried and tested.

 

4 – Limit Emotional Scenes

Although your Aquarius lover has many talents and great qualities, emotional depth isn’t one of them. This sign is cool and quite emotionally detached, and is frankly frightened and turned off by major displays of emotion at either end of the emotional scale. If you’re the dramatic sort, try to tone down your reactions of joy and despair into something a little more regulated, something your Aquarius partner can cope with. In terms of your relationship compatibility, Aquarius needs you to level off those highs and lows just a touch.

 

5 – Be a Friend

Because Aquarius is such an intellectual sign, compatibility for them is a mental thing as much as it is a physical one. The relationship will thrive if it’s based on a shared friendship and mutual interests, so do try to take an interest in your Aquarius lover’s quirks and pastimes. It might seem contrary to suggest that you focus on being friends first and lovers second, but that really is the way this sign works when it comes to compatibility. Aquarius will love and respect you all the more if you don’t push the point and don’t try to force the relationship ahead of its time.

Out of all the zodiac signs, compatibility issues occur most frequently for Aquarius, because of this sign’s independent streak. For a full low down on your relationship with an Aquarius, try an Astromatcha astrology compatibility report, and go beyond the confines of Sun signs alone.

 

Source: 

10 Reasons Pisces Are The Most Difficult People To Understand.

Gabrielle Lutze

As a Pisces, I can tell you pretty confidently that we’re a pretty tough group to read.

Don’t get your panties in a bunch, though — I love myself and all my fellow Piscean friends, but you have to admit, you either have no idea what’s going on in your Pisces-friend’s head, or you are the Pisces who constantly feels misunderstood.

Well, I have good news!

You’re not alone, and you can thank your sun sign for all that confusion.

Here are 10 reasons why no one understands a Pisces, and why that is totally okay:

1. Pisces is the 12th sign of the zodiac.

Being that Pisces is the last sign of the zodiac, those born under this sign have a mix of characteristics from all the eleven preceding signs.

This means that Pisces are somewhat at a constant battle in choosing how to feel and that non-Pisces have an extra hard time figuring out how one feels.

Pisces are pretty indecisive, even with the silliest of decisions. However, they are also very open-minded. A Pisces is the friend who always says yes, even if it means he or she has to cancel later (guilty).

This battle of characteristics force Pisces to think before feeling. Yes, Pisces can be quite impulsive, but they think before they act first even if it doesn’t seem so.

Being this way means they are always willing to try new things at least once.


2. Pisces are always seeking new experiences.

Pisces are constantly looking for new things, but don’t let this offend you; they are most happy when they have someone along side them, experiencing these new things as well.

A Pisces would most successfully be in a relationship with someone who is just as stir crazy and up for anything.

If a Pisces feels trapped, he or she will most likely revert to his or her impulsive side and jump at the first opportunity for change.


3. They are compassionate and charitable.

Did anyone else cry while watching the new GE commercial? I did.

It can seem like a Pisces’ compassion even for strangers is a little over the top, especially in this world. But, it really is a good thing and it’s totally genuine. When you need someone to be compassionate with you, you’ve got it.


4. They have trouble distinguishing reality from fantasy.

Pisces are, at heart, dreamers. Jupiter and Neptune, the latter of which represents illusions, rule them.

Pisces shift from goal to goal and sometimes, those goals may seem impossible. To a Pisces though, the goals are as close to reality as it gets. Silly fishes.


5. Empathy rules.

Pisces are extremely empathetic. Sometimes, they place another’s emotions over their own, and this can be chaotic because they are then left to fester in their own ignored emotions.

This is also great because if you ever need a shoulder to cry on or genuine advice, a Pisces will selflessly give it.


6. They can only think straight when they’re alone.

Locking yourself in your room for an hour usually means something is wrong, right? Not necessarily for Pisces. If they are socializing 24/7, they are probably on autopilot.

A Pisces needs to take time to him or herself to gather thoughts and feel productive.


7. They are inherently introverted.

This basically means that they are always trying to surround themselves with new people, but they don’t know when those people switch from new people to actual friends.

A Pisces finds it difficult to be his or her full self around people to whom he or she doesn’t feel close.

This can come off as fake or closed off, but in reality, it is most attributed to a Pisces’ innate curiosity about other people’s lives and stories. Excuse Pisces and their many questions.


8. They accept literally everyone.

This has gotten me, personally, in a bit of trouble. A Pisces assumes the best in all people. In fact, it was probably a Pisces who coined, “innocent until proven guilty.”

A Pisces-hosted party is an interesting sight — people of all walks of life are welcome, as far as a Pisces is concerned.


9. They’re a little oversensitive.

And by a little, I mean a lot. Words cut deep with Pisces, so this might be why your Piscean friend hasn’t been as chatty lately.

Be careful with your words and be honest with how you feel because Pisces are also sensitive to others’ emotions. If you’re feeling stressed, a Pisces can feel it. Trust me.


10. They need role models.

… And they look for it in everyone. If you feel like a Pisces looks up to you, it’s probably because one does.

Without a role model, a Pisces feels lost and usually can’t decide what his or her next goal or step should be.

Author: Ilia Jones

Source: 

10 Things To Keep In Mind When Falling For A Pisces Man Or Woman.

Pisces

It’s not easy loving a Pisces.

Members of this sign can be a bit wishy-washy and emotionally driven, and they’re constantly living in a dream-like state.

As a Pisces, I know all of my partners have had to, in one way or another, adjust and adapt to my ways.

What can I say? It’s difficult when you are naturally drawn to just going with the flow.

If you are in a relationship or looking to pursue a relationship with a Pisces, here are 10 things to keep in mind:

1. They seek true love.

Pisces need to feel loved, though they won’t always explicitly state it. Being with a Pisces is more than just sharing a bed or a home together; they seek a deep spiritual connection.

This could be due to our dreamy state, but Pisces want to believe true love can exist between two people.


2. They are devoted.

Of all the signs in the zodiac, Pisces are the most romantic and caring. They display their affection with beautifully romantic and elegant gestures, further demonstrating their creativity and devotion to their partners. Pisces let their hearts speak and rule over them.


3. They are intuitive.

Pisces always listen to their guts. They can sense when something is wrong or off.

If you are having a bad day, or maybe stayed out too late and don’t want to get in trouble with your partner, don’t try to lie to Pisces. They will call you on it.


4. The are passionate.

The sexuality of Pisces is very romantic and mystical. One of the biggest turn offs for a Pisces is crude behavior, as they prefer sweetness and passion.

Sex with a Pisces is intimate, passionate and mind-blowing. Pisces will always give!


5. They are deep.

Communicating with a Pisces can be difficult sometimes, as their thoughts can go down elaborate paths. Understanding and communicating with them requires you to follow their winding road of thoughts.


6. They are giving.

Pisces are notorious for their indecisiveness. When dating a Pisces, it has to be remembered they are givers, they’ll sacrifice and they are all about the flow.

Feel like watching a chick flick, but your Pisces wants action and gore? He’ll sit through and watch your movie without a peep because he is with you, and you are happy!


7. They need alone time.

Sometimes, when the tough get going, a Pisces will become a recluse and avoid everyone and anyone. Because of their high emotions, Pisces can become overwhelmed. They will need to escape, and this may come in the form of drugs, alcohol and thrill-seeking bad habits.

It’s important to show your support and be there for them when they are ready to come out of hiding. Like fish, they can startle easily and hide even longer.


8. They value simplicity.

Pisces enjoy simple pleasures. Yes, they enjoy the being with their friends, but they aren’t really a fan of large crowds.

When it comes to dates, Pisces would rather have a simple dinner than a crowded, elbow-to-elbow restaurant. That isn’t to say they wouldn’t mind these things on occasion, but balance is key.


9. They are dreamers.

Though Pisces love living in their dream worlds, the last thing they would want for you to do is pop their bubbles and ruin their illusions.

Though you may think it’s time for them to come back down to Earth, popping their bubbles is essentially shutting down who they truly are. Pisces can live and handle the two realities with ease, and it often contributes to their creativity and inspiration.


10. They’re loyal.

Pisces are not usually the ones to leave relationships.

Like the element of water of which they are a part of, they adapt to the container of life and the relationships they find themselves in.

Loving a Pisces can be hard at times, but know you will have their love forever. Their happiness will always be tied to making sure you are happy.

 

Author: Merylee Sevilla

Source.

How Smart People Deal With People They Don’t Like.

 

In a perfect world, each person we interact with would be nice, kind, considerate, mindful, generous, and more. They would get our jokes and we would get theirs. We would all thrive in a convivial atmosphere where no one was ever cross, upset, or maligned.

However, we don’t live in a perfect world. Some people drive us crazy, and we (admittedly) drive a few mad as well. Those we dislike are inconsiderate, rushed, malign our character, question our motives, or just don’t get our jokes at all — but expect us to laugh at all theirs.

You might wonder whether it is possible to be fair to someone who ruffles you all the time, or someone you’d rather avoid eating lunch with. You might wonder if you should learn to like every person you meet.

According to Robert Sutton (a professor of management science at Stanford University), it’s neither possible — nor even ideal — to build a team comprised entirely of people you’d invite to a backyard barbecue.

That’s why smart people make the most out of people they don’t like. Here’s how they do it.

1. They accept that they are not going to like everyone.

Sometimes we get caught in the trap of thinking that we are nice people. We think that we are going to like everyone we interact with — even when that’s not going to happen. It’s inevitable you will encounter difficult people who oppose what you think. Smart people know this. They also recognize that conflicts or disagreements are a result of differences in values.

That person you don’t like is not intrinsically a bad human. The reason you don’t get along is because you have different values, and that difference creates judgment. Once you accept that not everyone will like you, and you won’t like everyone because of a difference in values, the realization can take the emotion out of the situation. That may even result in getting along better by agreeing to disagree.

2. They bear with (not ignore or dismiss) those they don’t like.

Sure, you may cringe at his constant criticism, grit your teeth at her lousy jokes, or shake your head at the way he hovers around her all the time, but feeling less than affectionate to someone might not be the worst thing. “From a performance standpoint, liking the people you manage too much is a bigger problem than liking them too little,” says Sutton.

“You need people who have different points of view and aren’t afraid to argue,” Sutton adds. “They are the kind of people who stop the organization from doing stupid things.” It may not be easy, but bear with them. It is often those who challenge or provoke us that prompt us to new insights and help propel the group to success. Remember, you are not perfect either, yet people still tolerate you.

3. They treat those they don’t like with civility.

Whatever your feelings are for someone, that person will be highly attuned to your attitude and behavior, and will likely reflect it back to you. If you are rude to them, they will likely throw away all decorum and be rude to you too. The onus; therefore, is on you to remain fair, impartial, and composed.

“Cultivating a diplomatic poker face is important. You need to be able to come across as professional and positive,” says Ben Dattner, an organizational psychologist and author of The Blame Game. This way you won’t stoop to their level or be sucked into acting the way they do.

4. They check their own expectations.

It’s not uncommon for people to have unrealistic expectations about others. We may expect others to act exactly as we would, or say the things that we might say in a certain situation. However, that’s not realistic. “People have ingrained personality traits that are going to largely determine how they react,” says Alan A. Cavaiola, PhD (psychology professor at Monmouth University in West Long Branch, New Jersey). “Expecting others to do as you would do is setting yourself up for disappointment and frustration.”

If a person causes you to feel exactly the same way every time, adjust your expectations appropriately. This way you’ll be psychologically prepared and their behavior will not catch you by surprise. Smart people do this all the time. They’re not always surprised by a dis-likable person’s behavior.

5. They turn inwards and focus on themselves.

No matter what you try, some people can still really get under our skin. It’s important that you learn how to handle your frustration when dealing with someone who annoys you. Instead of thinking about how irritating that person is, focus on why you are reacting the way you are. Sometimes what we don’t like in others is frequently what we don’t like in ourselves. Besides, they didn’t create the button, they’re only pushing it.

Pinpoint the triggers that might be complicating your feelings. You may then be able to anticipate, soften, or even alter your reaction. Remember: it’s easier to change your perceptions, attitude, and behavior than to ask someone to be a different kind of person.

6. They pause and take a deep breath.

Some personality characteristics may always set you off, says Kathleen Bartle (a California-based conflict consultant). Maybe it’s the colleague who regularly misses deadlines, or the guy who tells off-color jokes. Take a look at what sets you off and who’s pushing your buttons. That way, Bartle says, you can prepare for when it happens again.

According to her, “If you can pause and get a grip on your adrenaline pump and go to the intellectual part of your brain, you’ll be better able to have a conversation and to skip over the judgment.” A deep breath and one big step back can also help to calm you down and protect you from overreaction, thereby allowing you to proceed with a slightly more open mind and heart.

7. They voice their own needs.

If certain people constantly tick you off, calmly let them know that their manner of behavior or communication style is a problem for you. Avoid accusatory language and instead try the “When you . . . I feel . . .” formula. For example, Cacaiola advises you to tell that person, “When you cut me off in meetings, I feel like you don’t value my contributions.” Then, take a moment and wait for their response.

You may find that the other person didn’t realize you weren’t finished speaking, or your colleague was so excited about your idea that she enthusiastically jumped into the conversation.

8. They allow space between them.

If all else fails, smart people allow space between themselves and those they don’t like. Excuse yourself and go on your way. If at work, move to another room or sit at the other end of the conference table. With a bit of distance, perspective, and empathy, you may be able to come back and interact both with those people you like and those you don’t like as if unfazed.

Of course, everything would be easier if we could wish people we don’t like away. Too bad we all know that’s not how life works.

Featured photo credit: sachman75 via flickr.com

Source: LifeHack.org

Sapiosexuals: Why We’re Scientifically Attracted To Intelligent People.

I’ll readily admit that I’d f*ck someone ugly if he were super smart. When a guy can challenge me intellectually, I literally get wet. I’m not even kidding right now.

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When I see a guy in glasses, sitting behind a book on the train, I don’t even see anything else. I just want to jump him because he looks smart.

I am so into smart guys. I don’t even care if he’s an assh*le, as long as he’s smart AF.

I once had a man approach me at a cafe and ask me about a Russian novel I was reading because he also loved Solzhenitsyn. Needless to say, buddy boy got my number and into my pants two weeks later. Sorry not sorry.

I am a proud sapiosexual. And I am not alone. Generation Y is teeming with us.

A sapiosexual is someone who finds sexual stimulation from the way a person’s mind works. It means you literally are attracted to intelligence. Looks take a backseat to a person’s wit.

When you think about it, why shouldn’t the brain be the thing we’re attracted to? Why would you want muscles over conversation? Why would you want looks over books?

It’s the brain that makes the man or woman. Looks fade; knowledge is forever.

Science is finally getting behind what we’ve all known all along: Smart is sexy.

According to Diana Rabb, a PhD in transpersonal psychology:

The brain is the largest sex organ. Those who admit to being sapiosexual will say that they are turned on by the brain and tend to be teased or excited by the insights of another person.

Sound familiar? If you are anything like me, all you want is a troll with an amazing, dark sense of humor, cultural knowledge and a hankering for Salinger.

Rabb continues:

As foreplay, the sapiosexual person may crave philosophical, political or psychological discussions because this turns [him or her] on.

So for us, intelligence is the way to get us hot and bothered. If a man can engage in a healthy debate with us or make us think in a different way about something, that’s the first step to sex.

For some, foreplay is a little heavy petting, but not for the sapiosexuals of the world! A little talk of politics or our favorite authors and we are going to need to get it in immediately.

Ugh, I’m kind of turning myself on right now thinking about smart men in glasses telling me something about “Heart of Darkness” and allegories.

Sapiosexuality: It is a real thing.

Smart man, strong sperm.

Researchers from the University of Mexico have found a connection between a man’s virility and his intelligence.

The study tested the sperm of 400 men after putting them through intense mental testing.

Those with higher IQs directly correlated with having healthy sperm. Therefore, smart men have the strongest sperm.

Women are attracted to intelligence because their ovaries can sense that choosing a smart mate means a better chance of having babies.

Women are all about getting the best sperm to make their babies. We’re selective like that.

If you like his brain, you’re going to like his sperm.


High intelligence, high sex drive.

Research conducted by the sex toy company Lovehoney found a direct connection with high IQ and libido.

As reported in Medical Daily, the company found that students from “elite” universities were among the most frequent toy buyers. So, it’s the smartest among us who are also the most sexual.

While the research shows the amount of sex you’re having may be inversely related to your intelligence, your sex drive is actually more rigorous.

So if you’re dating a man or woman who is especially brainy, you can probably bet he or she is going to be especially horny as well. Who doesn’t want to be having more sex?

As a highly sexual woman, I have to say this is wonderful news. Smart sex is good sex.


We feel like we have something to prove to our parents.

If you go home with someone, and he doesn’t have a lot of books, don’t f*ck ’em! – John Waters

I see this quote everywhere these days, from tweets to Instas. This generation has rallied around intelligence.

Despite what older generations may think, Gen-Y is a generation of readers and writers. We’re thinkers and creatives more than anything else. We dream big.

We crave knowledge. We want to understand the world around us. Since we’re constantly faulted for our love of selfies, Instagram and partying, we’ve started to push back against the backlash.

We’ve started a Millennial movement around being smart. It isn’t attractive to be stupid.

We revere intelligence and see it as sexually appealing because we want to show the world how smart we actually are.

Take that, Gen-X! Take that, Mom!

We aren’t wrapped up in our gym selfies and food pictures; we’re wrapped up in Steinbeck and Socrates.

We want to show how far we’ve come cerebrally despite all of this technology and vacuous bullsh*t we’re surrounded by.


Dumb is never cute.

We’re trying to get our hands on everything we can to improve ourselves. If you’re not smart, you’re not appealing.

Your mind is the sexiest thing you have. If we can win people over with the wit of our personalities instead of our looks, we’ve emerged victorious.

We’re writing on every forum we can get our name on. We’re devouring paperbacks on the subway.

We’re looking down on anyone without a college degree, and we’re absorbing all of the information the Internet can provide for us.

We’re utilizing our resources for the greater good.

Despite how superficial and narcissistic we’re made out to be, we’re actually the most highly educated and authentic people out there.

We’re attracted to intelligence because we understand its worth. We can see past the emptiness of celebrity gossip and reality television and into what is really important.

We love with our minds first and our hearts second.

Author: Gigi Engle, Gigi Engle is a Staff Writer for Elite Daily, covering all things sex and love related. She’s completely insane, but in a good way. Follow her on Facebook, Insta and Twitter @GigiEngle

Source: Elite Daily