‘Courage doesn’t mean you don’t get afraid. Courage means you don’t let fear stop you.’
There comes a point in every person’s life when he or she parts ways with someone: ex, friend and anyone in between.
Upon first meeting this person, there’s a sweet beginning, but once you come to really know each other and grow comfortable, you suddenly realize that the relationship no longer brings any particular value to your life and is perhaps, even detrimental.
Sometimes, we hold on to people purely based on how long we have known them. Time can tie people together, but if you feel as though there’s nothing substantial keeping you connected, time is not a strong enough reason to hold on to something that’s simply no longer worth holding onto.
We grow complacent with people once we’re comfortable with them. But, hanging onto someone for the pure sake of it and because you don’t know anything else isn’t a good enough reason.
Fear is another reason why we can’t move on. There’s the fear of being alone and not being able to find someone else; fear of someone using our deepest and darkest secrets as blackmail; fear of the hate and tension that will ensue; fear of regret once someone is gone.
Sometimes, things are better left as mere memories. You can try to change things back to how they were or try to create things to be the way you want them, but you’ll never be truly happy because it’ll never be anything like how things once were.
If anything, there’s now too much pressure and expectation in the air to recreate what you both once had. Instead, hold on to and cherish the memories, but move forward. Be thankful for what a friendship or relationship brought you and taught you.
Beyond that, friendships and relationships — whilst they do have their downfalls and can require fixing — should essentially come naturally.
If a person isn’t bringing something significant to your life, not treating you how you’d like or isn’t the type of person you want him or her to be, it’s a clear sign that you need distance.
While it would be selfish of you to not accept a person for whom he or she is, it would be unfair for you to have to endure a friendship or relationship that isn’t cultivating a better you.
Now that we have come to ascertain why you may be holding on, let’s make it clear why you need to let go:
1. Let go because things are not the same anymore.
People simply grow a part, which is perfectly normal. You realize you want different things, no longer share the same interests, no longer understand and no longer connect.
Sometimes, it’s a matter of accepting that it takes time to let go, rather than holding on to something that just can’t be brought back, was lost a long time ago or perhaps, was never really there at all.
It’s difficult to hold on to people in life, but remember that you’re destined to meet different people along your journey who will bring you happiness, sorrow, pain and joy.
2. Let go because the trust and loyalty isn’t there.
If you know in your heart that you can’t trust this person and he or she cannot be loyal, then you need to ask yourself why this person is in your life. Trust and loyalty are the foundation of any friendship and relationship.
If they’re not present, it may only lead to paranoia, frustration, tension and anger that you’re better off without feeling.
Find someone with whom you can share your deepest darkest secrets and you know that after walking away, his or her lips will remain tightly sealed. Find someone whose faithfulness to you will be unquestionable because his or her actions, rather than empty promises, bring you a peace of mind.
3. Let go because you are unclear of where things stand.
Engaging in an undefined friendship or relationship is confusing because you don’t know what you mean to the person, if anything at all. If the person can’t make you feel as though you’re significant, reflect on why you’re allowing someone to treat this way.
Be in the company of someone who is proud to have you in his or her life and will make that known to you and the rest of the world. Be in the company of someone who won’t gamble with your heart and mind simply because he or she knows you’re not going anywhere.
4. Let go if the friendship or relationship is damaging to you.
If the friendship/relationship is making you unhappy or miserable, it’s time to bid the person farewell. We must not allow ourselves to feel trapped and used to being treated far less well than we deserve.
If someone is putting you down, competing with you, not paying attention to you, not caring about you, abusing you, embarrassing you in front of others, making you question yourself, belittling you or simply just not caring about you, remove the negativity from your life as soon as possible. Respect yourself enough to be able to walk away.
5. Let go if you simply don’t see eye to eye.
It is hard to make a relationship work if you can’t ever agree or see each other’s points of view. If the one thing you can agree on is that neither of you can agree, it might be time to walk away.
In many friendships and relationships, people come together through unlikely chances, through their differences and lack of similarities. Therefore, it can work, but if you find that it’s a significant source of many of your disputes and tensions, get out now.
6. Let go if you’re the one fighting to make it work.
If your relationship makes you feel as though you’re the only one putting in effort, time and love, reflect on whether or not it’s worth it. If someone truly loves you, cares for you or wants and needs you, the person will never allow you to invest disproportionate effort.
Find someone who makes you feel worthwhile and worthy. Find someone who fights to have you in his or her life. Find someone who knows how lucky he or she is to have you.
Find someone who acknowledges everything you have done and will do. Don’t waste your time on anything less.
7. Let go if he or she doesn’t encourage you or believe in you.
If you find that your relationship isn’t providing you with support, reflect on what the person is providing. You deserve someone who will be there to encourage you throughout your journey and believe in you maybe even more than you believe in yourself.
8. Let go if the relationship isn’t bringing you what you want and need.
Ask yourself whether you can do without the relationship or whether it’s something you unquestionably want and deserve. Sometimes, there’s this belief that we can be “too fussy” with what we want from others in life, but then again, why should we settle for anything less than happiness?
Don’t ever allow someone to make you feel needy for wanting someone who will love, care and support you, someone who will listen and give you insightful advice, someone who wants the same things, someone you can trust and will be loyal to you, someone who believes so strongly in you and your capabilities. Just someone who makes you feel like you’re someone.
Author: Alyssa Ho
Source: Elite Daily
Are you a weak leader? I know that’s a tough question to answer. I don’t think there is a single leader that will proclaim,“Yes! I am a weak leader!” At least not publicly.
The reality is that you are not as good of a leader as you would like to be. Yes, you are an honest, open, decisive and principled leader, but there is a roadblock to your success. And this roadblock is also adversely affecting the success of your company, the projects you’re running and the team you are building.
The degree of your success has little to do with the lack of resources; the basis is in the context of your habits, fears and the opinions of others. So you run into what John C. Maxwell, leadership authority, calls the lid. It’s an invisible, self-imposed, barrier that prevents you from becoming the leader you are meant to be.
“Leadership ability is the lid that determines a person’s level of effectiveness. The lower the individual’s ability to lead, the lower the lid on his potential. The higher the person’s ability to lead the higher the lid on his potential.” – John C. Maxwell
The Mcdonald’s success story that almost wasn’t
McDonald’s operates in 118 countries, serves 68 million customers each day, operates over 35,000 restaurants, and employs more than 1.7 million people.
But back in 1940, McDonald’s was a single restaurant located at 1398 North E Street at West 14th Street in San Bernardino, California. The founders were brothers Richard and Maurice McDonald. They were skilled entrepreneurs who steadily grew revenue and by developing the “Speedee Service System” the brothers arguably revolutionized the restaurant business.
But they were ineffective leaders.
Under the McDonald’s leadership, the brothers wanted to keep the franchise to a small number of restaurants. They had weak leadership that in part was due to their limited thinking patterns of what was possible. It took Ray Crock to envision the potential of McDonald’s. Crock was a strong leader who between 1955 – 1963 grew McDonald’s to 500 restaurants.
How do you become a better leader?
The McDonald’s story is a powerful visual. It paints a picture of what a good leader can build. But how do you become that type of leader? You master influence.
“You need someone who understands the limitations inherent in power and chooses to view his or her leadership role as one of influence. Influence is a derivative of power, and it can be wielded more easily and with greater effect.” – Ray Hennessey
So if leadership has more to do with influence, how do you earn it? John C. Maxwell touches on four techniques:
1. What have you done?
2. What can you do?
We follow a leader, in part, because of what he is capable of doing. We want to feel safe in the knowledge that he can lead us to a better place. If your followers believe that you can deliver, they will follow you.
3. Who are you?
Who you attract is determined by who you are. So the better leader you are, the better people your will attract.
4. Who do you know?
Leadership is a relationship business. So it goes without saying that building deep relationships is important. The deeper the relationship, the more profound your influence you will have over others.
Don’t waste another moment
Which of the four methods do you rely on to influence people? Rate them 1 – 4, with one meaning you are highly dependent on it. Once done, ask yourself how you can better optimize 3 and 4? How you can improve your influence requires a degree of self-awareness that can only be accomplished by evaluating your experiences, your life markers.
These markers usually are associated with a transformation, change or time of transition. So if you ask yourself better questions your ability to optimize your number 3 and 4 increases significantly. Here are some questions that have helped me:
- What is my biggest asset?
- What is my biggest liability?
- What is my best habit?
- What is my worst habit?
- What do I value most?
We are not born great leaders. Leadership is a skill that must be nurtured through consistency, discipline, and evaluated experiences. There is a great deal of hard work in becoming a good leader, which is the reason so many leaders are weak.
I often wonder what would McDonald’s look like today, if Richard and Maurice intentionally developed their leadership potential. Some pundits would argue that a company does better under the guidance of its founders.
What do you think? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below
Source : Addicted To Success
Carl Jung or C.G .Jung was a psychiatrist and psychotherapist from Switzerland who was the founder of analytical psychology. Carl Jung was an early supporter of Freud because of their shared interest in the unconscious. He was an active member of the the Vienna Psychoanalytic Society.
Other major influences of Carl Jung consists of anthropology, religious studies, archaeology, philosophy, and literature.
Here are some of Carl Jung’s inspiring quotes!
1. “Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” – Carl Jung
2. “We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.” – Carl Jung
3. “There is no coming to consciousness without pain.” – Carl Jung
4. “The debt we owe to the play of imagination is incalculable.” – Carl Jung
5. “Knowledge rests not upon truth alone, but upon error also.” – Carl Jung
6. “Often the hands will solve a mystery that the intellect has struggled with in vain.” – Carl Jung
7. “It all depends on how we look at things, and not how they are in themselves.” – Carl Jung
8. “Great talents are the most lovely and often the most dangerous fruits on the tree of humanity. They hang upon the most slender twigs that are easily snapped off.” – Carl Jung
9. “A man who has not passed through the inferno of his passions has never overcome them.” – Carl Jung
10. “An understanding heart is everything in a teacher, and cannot be esteemed highly enough. One looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our human feeling. The curriculum is so much necessary raw material, but warmth is the vital element for the growing plant and for the soul of the child.” – Carl Jung
11. “Where love rules, there is no will to power, and where power predominates, love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other.” – Carl Jung
12. “The creation of something new is not accomplished by the intellect but by the play instinct acting from inner necessity. The creative mind plays with the objects it loves.” – Carl Jung
13. “Shame is a soul eating emotion.” – Carl Jung
14. “The rational attitude which permits us to declare objective values as valid at all is not the work of the individual subject, but the product of human history.” – Carl Jung
15. “Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment and especially on their children than the unlived life of the parent.” – Carl Jung
16. “The least of things with a meaning is worth more in life than the greatest of things without it.” – Carl Jung
17. “To ask the right question is already half the solution of a problem.” – Carl Jung
18. “I have always been impressed by the fact that there are a surprising number of individuals who never use their minds if they can avoid it, and an equal number who do use their minds, but in an amazingly stupid way.” – Carl Jung
19. “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves.” – Carl Jung
20. “Creative powers can just as easily turn out to be destructive. It rests solely with the moral personality.” – Carl Jung
21. “whether they apply themselves to good things or to bad. And if this is lacking, no teacher can supply it or take its place.” – Carl Jung
22. “That which compels us to create a substitute for ourselves is not the external lack of objects, but our incapacity to lovingly include a thing outside of ourselves.” – Carl Jung
23. “A dream that is not understood remains a mere occurrence; understood it becomes a living experience.” – Carl Jung
24. “A special ability means a heavy expenditure of energy in a particular direction, with a consequent drain from some other side of life.” – Carl Jung
25. “We should not pretend to understand the world only by the intellect; we apprehend it just as much by feeling. Therefore, the judgment of the intellect is, at best, only the half of truth, and must, if it be honest, also come to an understanding of its inadequacy.” – Carl Jung
26. “If a man knows more than others, he becomes lonely.” – Carl Jung
27. “I regret many follies which sprang from my obstinacy; but without that trait I would not have reached my goal.” – Carl Jung