Not too long ago, I was sitting on a beach in San Juan, Puerto Rico, and noticed a couple holding hands, walking along the shoreline. They looked so peaceful and perfect, like an island getaway commercial. And then it happened: His cellphone went off.
She gave him a look as if to say, “I dare you!” But the idiot took the dare. Not only did he answer the phone, but he let go of her hand, walked away and talked for 10 minutes. She shook her head, walked over to their beach setup and sat down under the umbrella. The couple that had just resembled a picture-perfect getaway were about to become prime candidates for The Dr. Phil Show.
He finally walked over to her. I grimaced. In my head I heard the booming boxing catchphrase: “Let’s get ready to ruuuumble!” Ding, ding! And boy did she come out swinging.
“Really?” she asked. “I can’t believe you answered your phone. Stop and look how beautiful this place is—and you can’t stop working to even see it, to take it in, let alone be here.”
He should have listened, right? But of course he didn’t. “Hey!” he jabbed at her in his defense. “If it wasn’t for my job, we wouldn’t even be on this vacation!”
She rebounded with a combination of blows that seemed to shake the champ. “Vacation?” she said, incredulous. “Vacation? You call this a vacation!? This is our anniversary! We’ve been here for three days and you can’t stay away from your phone and stupid computer. You brought your job with you—it’s like you can’t stop yourself, like you’re addicted!”
She picked up her belongings and took a few steps toward the hotel. Then she stopped, turned and delivered the final blow: “You know, you used to be married to me. Now you’re married to your job.” The champ just stood there, looking like a real chump.
I grimaced, feeling uncomfortable for having witnessed the whole thing. But let me ask you, this probably isn’t the first time you’ve heard, or even had, an argument like this, is it? Let’s face it. We are living in a world that is moving at an amazing pace. And it is easy to get lost and misplace our feelings and values.
Many of us are conditioned to devote the majority of our waking hours on building our careers or business, leaving little, if any, time for other important aspects of our lives. Who can deny that we live in a competitive, ambitious society that stresses the importance of being the very best, rather than simply to do the best we can?
A lot of us have bought into the grand deception of always wanting more, regardless of how much we already have. We have adopted the illusion that if some money, power and fame feels good, then more of these things feels better.
Maybe it would be wise for us to come to the realization that what we think we want in life might not necessarily be what we need in order to lead a truly successful and happy life. Maybe, just maybe, we are leaving out important personal factors from the equation of what completes us as individuals. Maybe it’s just a matter of making a slight shift, finding your balance and choosing a better way. Maybe there are too many “maybes” in this paragraph. Or in your life.
I’m at a place right now where my philosophy about what’s important in my life has significantly shifted. Yes, I love what I do for a living. I always did and I always will. But I know far too many people who are so caught up in trying to make a living that they’ve forgotten what it’s like to live.
More often than not, what we want feeds our ego. But when we fulfill our needs, we feed our soul. Pause today for just a minute and ask yourself, Which one am I feeding?
Choose wisely, because time has a cruel way of saying, “I told you so.”
What if you can’t relax—even after lying in the corpse posture for ten minutes? Unwinding is easier said than done—especially when you’re hyped up on coffee, negative emotions, hectic schedules, looming exams.
Maybe you know this scenario: your body is settled in shavasana, but your mind is up and running—fighting traffic, or revising a fight you had with your husband (this time, you win). Vaguely, you visualize your breath sweeping from your head to your toes and up again, but mentally you’re miles away. At some point, you stop drifting and notice: your abdomen is locked, your hands are clenched in fists, and your shoulders are hiked up to your ears. What happened?
The problem is that you’re going through the motions with a hyperactive mind. As a result, you can’t give the relaxation process the attention it needs to work its magic. The key to success? Focus on the breath. According to the yogis, it’s the bridge between body and mind. Chances are, if you focus on breathing slower, deeper, and without pause, you’ll quiet your mental chatter and calm your nervous system. Then your mind and your muscles will surrender naturally.
Start over: Lie on your back in shavasana (the corpse posture) with a cushion under your neck. Place one hand on your abdomen and one on your chest. Before you have a chance to think, tune into the movements of your body as you breathe. Notice the feeling of your breath emptying your lungs as you exhale, and filling them as you inhale.
Before you have a chance to think, tune into the movements of your body as you breathe.
Next, check to see if your chest is moving. If so, relax your rib cage and focus on breathing solely with your abdomen. Let the inhalation and exhalation be approximately equal in length.
Gradually deepen the breath and slow it down: On your next exhalation, gently engage your abdominal muscles and push a little extra air out of the lungs. Then, let your abdomen rise slightly higher as you inhale.
(It might be helpful to count your in and out breaths in even ratios—starting, perhaps, with 3:3, then moving up to 6:6—whatever is within your comfortable capacity.) Focus on this exercise for several minutes.
Then begin to weave the breaths together, reducing and smoothing out the pause between inhalation and exhalation. Imagine the movement of a car on a Ferris wheel, and apply its cycle to your breath. As you inhale, visualize the car ascending. It slows and levels off at the top of the ride, and merges smoothly into the descent as you exhale. At the bottom there is another leveling off, and the car rises again, smoothly, in the next ascent. Work with this practice for a few more minutes. As you settle into deeper breathing, your thoughts will begin to fall away as you embrace the present moment with a sense of comfort, peace, and ease.
When you are ready to come out of shavasana, bring your revitalized breath (and nervous system) with you. Roll onto your left side and stay there longer than usual (don’t pop up, give yourself a head rush, and run blindly to your next destination). Take several of the same slow, deep, unpaused breaths here. Then sit up slowly and prepare to greet the world.
Author: SHANNON SEXTON
Source: Yoga International
What do you need to find and develop within yourself to be successful? The answer comes from looking at those who have created success in a variety of fields. These traits may sound simple, but they lead to remarkable results.
If you really want to bring success into your life, you should cultivate yourself just as you’d cultivate a garden for the best yield.
Here are the traits that the highly successful cultivate. How many do you have?
You have the determination to work harder than most and make sure things get done. You pride yourself on seeing things getting completed and you take charge when necessary. You drive yourself with purpose and align yourself with excellence.
You can shoulder responsibilities and be accountable. You make hard decisions and stand by them. To think for yourself is to know yourself.
You have the strength to see things through–you don’t vacillate or procrastinate. When you want it, you make it happen. The world’s greatest achievers are those who have stayed focused on their goals and been consistent in their efforts.
You are willing to be patient, and you understand that, in everything, there are failures and frustrations. To take them personally would be a detriment.
This should not have to be said, but it’s seriously one of the most important attributes you can cultivate. Honesty is the best policy for everything you do; integrity creates character and defines who you are.
If you want to succeed, if you want to live, it’s not politeness but rather passion that will get you there. Life is 10 percent what you experience and 90 percent how you respond to it.
You can relate to others, which in turns makes everything reach further and deepen in importance.
You know there is much to achieve and much good in this world, and you know what’s worth fighting for. Optimism is a strategy for making a better future–unless you believe that the future can be better, you’re unlikely to step up and take responsibility for making it so.
You trust yourself. It’s as simple as that. And when you have that unshakeable trust in yourself, you’re already one step closer to success.
You work to communicate and pay attention to the communicators around you. Most important, you hear what isn’t being said. When communication is present, trust and respect follow.
No one plans on being mediocre; mediocrity happens when you don’t plan. If you want to succeed, learn the traits that will make you successful and plan on living them out every day.
Be humble and great. Courageous and determined. Faithful and fearless. That is who you are, and who you have always been.
It is true: You can marry into more money in five minutes than you can make in a lifetime.
But, that can only happen if you are able to attract a wealthy and successful person in your life. Life is full of options and opportunities.
Believe it or not, success plays a huge role in how attractive you are and how attractive someone will be to you — especially when it comes to highly successful people.
Although it is great to identify exactly the type of partner you wish to have, nothing will come true if you don’t become the type of person who would attract that kind of partner. It is especially true when you’re looking for a success-driven partner.
Let’s face it: No one wants a slacker for a partner, and why should they? People want someone who’s going places.
Below is a short list of things that I find attractive as an entrepreneur — hell, people, in general, find these qualities attractive.
1. Having Your Sh*t Together
Struggling to keep the electricity on because you play more than you work is a sign of immaturity. Skipping a bill because you’d rather play that new video game is irresponsible and a red flag.
The same goes for work: Missing days because you did too many hard drugs or just didn’t feel like it is no excuse, and ultimately, it’s not going to get you anywhere in life.
As an entrepreneur with multiple projects going on that all need close and continuous attention, I just cannot afford distractions.
Your chances of dating the next Mark Zuckerburg or Donald Trump are slim if you have too much drama in your life. When successful people look to date, they look to find someone who doesn’t have additional baggage that will hold them back in life.
2. Ambition for Greater Things
The most important quality in a woman for me is her ambition. In fact, it’s so important that without it, you’re probably not going to get very far.
Successful people want to see the same ambitious qualities in another person. Why? Because ambition means getting ahead.
Without the drive to be something better or improve your situation, you’ll end up stuck in the same spot for the remainder of life. Successful people find this as a major turn-off and will avoid people without ambition.
A common trait among highly successful people is their goals and aspirations always come first in life. Trump even said, “It’s hard for a woman to compete with my business.”
You’re less likely to have petty arguments in a relationship if both parties have big goals and dreams they can work toward. The reason for that is because large goals are going to focus your time and energy on achieving them, rather than finding time to complain and argue.
3. Respect for Money
The woman I marry must respect money, and more importantly she must want me to make tons of it. It may not be conventional, but I want a woman who is going to encourage me to take advantage of every single opportunity there is in the market place.
Instead of complaining about me working too hard, I want my woman to ask why I didn’t stay at the office an hour or two more.
The truth is, if you don’t respect money, it’s very unlikely you’ll ever stay in a long relationship with someone who has money, much less have money for yourself.
Wasting money on payday loans and frivolous purchases is a deal breaker. It shows you have no idea how to handle money from meeting a deadline to budgeting.
If you can’t budget for yourself, how are you going to budget for you and someone else? In short, you won’t.
4. Taking Risks
A caveat of life is the sheer risk you take simply by living it. Just walking on the sidewalk could be dangerous at times; you could get mugged, hit by a car or assaulted. Still, there are times you should always take risks.
Taking a calculated risk and attempting to better yourself is a good, attractive quality. It shows confidence and the will to try and better yourself. Sitting at home on a couch with a bag of nacho chips shows quite the opposite.
If you don’t take risks, you’ll never advance anywhere in life.
Those are four qualities successful people are likely to find attractive. Why? Because they took the same advice themselves to get where they are. Even if they had a huge helping hand starting out, they still had to maintain and keep driving forward.
Without these skills and mindsets, you’re likely to find yourself snagging leftovers and people who have made themselves victims. The question, at the moment, would be, do you want to be with someone like you?
If you say no for any reason that relates to the fact that you’re not where you want to be in life, it’s a good time to start thinking about altering your attributes.
This article first appeared on Elite Daily
The study of human personality or ‘character’ (from the Greek charaktêr, the mark impressed upon a coin) dates back at least to antiquity. In his Characters, Tyrtamus (371-287 bc)—nicknamed Theophrastus or ‘divinely speaking’ by his contemporary Aristotle— divided the people of the Athens of the 4th century BC into thirty different personality types, including ‘arrogance’, ‘irony’, and ‘boastfulness’.
The Characters exerted a strong influence on subsequent studies of human personality such as those of Thomas Overbury (1581-1613) in England and Jean de la Bruyère (1645-1696) in France.
The concept of personality disorder itself is much more recent and tentatively dates back to psychiatrist Philippe Pinel’s 1801 description of manie sans délire, a condition which he characterized as outbursts of rage and violence (manie) in the absence of any symp- toms of psychosis such as delusions and hallucinations (délires).
Across the English Channel, physician JC Prichard (1786-1848) coined the term ‘moralinsanity’ in 1835 to refer to a larger group of people characterized by ‘morbid perversion of the natural feelings, affections, inclinations, temper, habits, moral dispositions and natural impulses’, but the term, probably considered too broad and non-specific, soon fell into disuse.
Some 60 years later, in 1896, psychiatrist Emil Kraepelin (1856-1926) described seven forms of antisocial behaviour under the umbrella of ‘psychopathic personality’, a term later broadened by Kraepelin’s younger colleague Kurt Schneider (1887-1967) to include those who ‘suffer from their abnormality’.
Schneider’s seminal volume of 1923, Die psychopathischen Persönlichkeiten(Psychopathic Personalities), still forms the basis of current classifications of personality disorders such as that contained in the influential American classification of mental disorders, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders 5th Revision (DSM-5).
According to DSM-5, a personality disorder can be diagnosed if there are significant impairments in self and interpersonal functioning together with one or more pathological personality traits. In addition, these features must be (1) relatively stable across time and consistent across situations, (2) not better understood as normative for the individual’s developmental stage or socio-cultural environment, and (3) not solely due to the direct effects of a substance or general medical condition.
DSM-5 lists ten personality disorders, and allocates each to one of three groups or ‘clusters’: A, B, or C
Cluster A (Odd, bizarre, eccentric)
Paranoid PD, Schizoid PD, Schizotypal PD
Cluster B (Dramatic, erratic)
Antisocial PD, Borderline PD, Histrionic PD, Narcissistic PD
Cluster C (Anxious, fearful)
Avoidant PD, Dependent PD, Obsessive-compulsive PD
Before going on to characterize these ten personality disorders, it should be emphasized that they are more the product of historical observation than of scientific study, and thus that they are rather vague and imprecise constructs. As a result, they rarely present in their classic ‘textbook’ form, but instead tend to blur into one another. Their division into three clusters in DSM-5 is intended to reflect this tendency, with any given personality disorder most likely to blur with other personality disorders within its cluster. For instance, in cluster A, paranoid personality is most likely to blur with schizoid personality disorderand schizotypal personality disorder.
The majority of people with a personality disorder never come into contact with mentalhealth services, and those who do usually do so in the context of another mental disorder or at a time of crisis, commonly after self-harming or breaking the law. Nevertheless, personality disorders are important to health professionals because they predispose to mental disorder, and affect the presentation and management of existing mental disorder. They also result in considerable distress and impairment, and so may need to be treated ‘in their own right’. Whether this ought to be the remit of the health professions is a matter of debate and controversy, especially with regard to those personality disorders which predispose to criminal activity, and which are often treated with the primary purpose of preventing crime.
Cluster A comprises paranoid, schizoid, and schizotypal personality disorders. Paranoid personality disorder is characterized by a pervasive distrust of others, including even friends, family, and partner. As a result, the person is guarded and suspicious, and constantly on the lookout for clues or suggestions to validate his fears. He also has a strong sense of personal rights: he is overly sensitive to setbacks and rebuffs, easily feels shame and humiliation, and persistently bears grudges. Unsurprisingly, he tends to withdraw from others and to struggle with building close relationships. The principal ego defence in paranoid PD is projection, which involves attributing one’s unacceptable thoughts and feelings to other people. A large long-term twin study found that paranoid PD is modestly heritable, and that it shares a portion of its genetic and environmental risk factors with schizoid PD and schizotypal PD.
2. Schizoid personality disorder
The term ‘schizoid’ designates a natural tendency to direct attention toward one’s inner life and away from the external world. A person with schizoid PD is detached and aloof and prone to introspection and fantasy. He has no desire for social or sexual relationships, is indifferent to others and to social norms and conventions, and lacks emotional response. A competing theory about people with schizoid PD is that they are in fact highly sensitive with a rich inner life: they experience a deep longing for intimacy but find initiating and maintaining close relationships too difficult or distressing, and so retreat into their inner world. People with schizoid PD rarely present to medical attention because, despite their reluctance to form close relationships, they are generally well functioning, and quite untroubled by their apparent oddness.
3. Schizotypal disorder
Schizotypal PD is characterized by oddities of appearance, behaviour, and speech, unusual perceptual experiences, and anomalies of thinking similar to those seen inschizophrenia. These latter can include odd beliefs, magical thinking (for instance, thinking that speaking of the devil can make him appear), suspiciousness, and obsessive ruminations. People with schizotypal PD often fear social interaction and think of others as harmful. This may lead them to develop so-called ideas of reference, that is, beliefs or intuitions that events and happenings are somehow related to them. So whereas people with schizotypal PD and people with schizoid PD both avoid social interaction, with the former it is because they fear others, whereas with the latter it is because they have no desire to interact with others or find interacting with others too difficult. People with schizotypal PD have a higher than average probability of developing schizophrenia, and the condition used to be called ‘latent schizophrenia’.
Cluster B comprises antisocial, borderline, histrionic, and narcis- sistic personality disorders. Until psychiatrist Kurt Schneider (1887-1967) broadened the concept of personality disorder to include those who ‘suffer from their abnormality’, personality disorder was more or less synonymous with antisocial personality disorder. Antisocial PD is much more common in men than in women, and is characterized by a callous unconcern for the feelings of others. The person disregards social rules and obligations, is irritable and aggressive, acts impulsively, lacks guilt, and fails to learn from experience. In many cases, he has no difficulty finding relationships—and can even appear superficially charming (the so-called ‘charming psychopath’)—but these relationships are usually fiery, turbulent, and short-lived. As antisocial PD is the mental disorder most closely correlated with crime, he is likely to have a criminal record or a history of being in and out of prison.
In borderline PD (or emotionally unstable PD), the person essentially lacks a sense of self, and, as a result, experiences feelings of emptiness and fears of abandonment. There is a pattern of intense but unstable relationships, emotional instability, outbursts of anger and violence (especially in response to criticism), and impulsive behaviour. Suicidal threats and acts of self-harm are common, for which reason many people with borderline PD frequently come to medical attention. Borderline PD was so called because it was thought to lie on the ‘borderline’ between neurotic (anxiety) disorders and psychotic disorders such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. It has been suggested that borderline personality disorder often results from childhood sexual abuse, and that it is more common in women in part because women are more likely to suffer sexual abuse. However, feminists have argued that borderline PD is more common in women because women presenting with angry and promiscuous behaviour tend to be labelled with it, whereas men presenting with similar behaviour tend instead to be labelled with antisocial PD.
People with histrionic PD lack a sense of self-worth, and depend for their wellbeing on attracting the attention and approval of others. They often seem to be dramatizing or ‘playing a part’ in a bid to be heard and seen. Indeed, ‘histrionic’ derives from the Latinhistrionicus, ‘pertaining to the actor’. People with histrionic PD may take great care of their appearance and behave in a manner that is overly charming or inappropriately seductive. As they crave excitement and act on impulse or suggestion, they can place them- selves at risk of accident or exploitation. Their dealings with others often seem insincere or superficial, which, in the longer term, can adversely impact on their social and romantic relationships. This is especially distressing to them, as they are sensitive to criticism and rejection, and react badly to loss or failure. A vicious circle may take hold in which the more rejected they feel, the more histrionic they become; and the more histrionic they become, the more rejected they feel. It can be argued that a vicious circle of some kind is at the heart of every personality disorder, and, indeed, every mental disorder.
In narcissistic PD, the person has an extreme feeling of self-importance, a sense of entitlement, and a need to be admired. He is envious of others and expects them to be the same of him. He lacks empathy and readily exploits others to achieve his aims. To others, he may seem self-absorbed, controlling, intolerant, selfish, or insensitive. If he feels obstructed or ridiculed, he can fly into a fit of destructive anger and revenge. Such a reaction is sometimes called ‘narcissistic rage’, and can have disastrous consequences for all those involved.
Cluster C comprises avoidant, dependent, and anankastic personality disorders. People with avoidant PD believe that they are socially inept, unappealing, or inferior, and constantly fear being embarrassed, criticized, or rejected. They avoid meeting others unless they are certain of being liked, and are restrained even in their intimate relationships. Avoidant PD is strongly associated with anxiety disorders, and may also be associated with actual or felt rejection by parents or peers in childhood. Research suggests that people with avoidant PD excessively monitor internal reactions, both their own and those of others, which prevents them from engaging naturally or fluently in social situations. A vicious circle takes hold in which the more they monitor their internal reactions, the more inept they feel; and the more inept they feel, the more they monitor their internal reactions.
Dependent PD is characterized by a lack of self-confidence and an excessive need to be looked after. The person needs a lot of help in making everyday decisions and surrenders important life decisions to the care of others. He greatly fears abandonment and may go through considerable lengths to secure and maintain relationships. A person with dependent PD sees himself as inadequate and helpless, and so surrenders personal responsibility and submits himself to one or more protective others. He imagines that he is at one with these protective other(s), whom he idealizes as com- petent and powerful, and towards whom he behaves in a manner that is ingratiating and self-effacing. People with dependent PD often end up with people with a cluster B personality disorder, who feed on the unconditional high regard in which they are held. Overall, people with dependent PD maintain a naïve and child-like perspective, and have limited insight into themselves and others. This entrenches their dependency, and leaves them vulnerable to abuse and exploitation.
10. Anankastic personality disorder
Anankastic PD is characterized by excessive preoccupation with details, rules, lists, order, organization, or schedules; perfectionism so extreme that it prevents a task from being completed; and devotion to work and productivity at the expense of leisure and relationships. A person with anankastic PD is typically doubting and cautious, rigid and controlling, humorless, and miserly. His underlying anxiety arises from a perceived lack of control over a world that eludes his understanding; and the more he tries to exert control, the more out of control he feels. In consequence, he has little tolerance for complexity or nuance, and tends to simplify the world by seeing things as either all good or all bad. His relationships with colleagues, friends, and family are often strained by the unreasonable and inflexible demands that he makes upon them.
While personality disorders may differ from mental disorders like schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, they do, by definition, lead to significant impairment. They are estimated to affect about 10 per cent of people, although this figure ultimately depends on where clinicians draw the line between a ‘normal’ personality and one that leads to significant impairment. Characterizing the ten personality disorders is difficult, but diagnosing them reliably is even more so. For instance, how far from the norm must personality traits deviate before they can be counted as disordered? How significant is ‘significant impairment’? And how is ‘impairment’ to be defined?
Whatever the answers to these questions, they are bound to include a large part of subjectivity. Personal dislike, prejudice, or a clash of values can all play a part in arriving at a diagnosis of personality disorder, and it has been argued that the diagnosis amounts to little more than a convenient label for undesirables and social deviants.
Adapted from the new second edition of The Meaning of Madness(link is external) (2015).
Psychopathic personalities are some of the most memorable characters portrayed in popular media today. These characters, like Patrick Bateman from American Psycho, Frank Abagnale Jr. from Catch Me If You Canand Alex from A Clockwork Orange, are typically depicted as charming, intriguing, dishonest, guiltless, and in some cases, downright terrifying. But scientific research suggests that psychopathy is a personality disorder that is widely misunderstood.
“Psychopathy tends to be used as a label for people we do not like, cannot understand, or construe as evil,” notes Jennifer Skeem, Professor of Psychology and Social Behavior at the University of California, Irvine. Skeem, Devon Polaschek of Victoria University of Wellington, Christopher Patrick of Florida State University, and Scott Lilienfeld of Emory University are the authors of a new monograph focused on understanding the psychopathic personality that will appear in the December issue of Psychological Science in the Public Interest, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science.
In the course of their research, the authors reviewed many scientific findings that seemed to contradict one another. “Psychopathy has long been assumed to be a single personality disorder. However, there is increasing evidence that it is a confluence of several different personality traits,” Skeem says.
The authors of the monograph argue that rather than being “one thing” as often assumed, psychopathy appears to be a complex, multifaceted condition marked by blends of personality traits reflecting differing levels of disinhibition, boldness, and meanness. And scientific findings also suggest that a sizable subgroup of juvenile and adult offenders labeled as psychopathic are actually more emotionally disturbed than emotionally detached, showing signs of anxiety and dysphoria.
According to Skeem, these important distinctions have long escaped the attention of psychologists and policy-makers. As a result, she and her co-authors set about to try to dispel some of the myths and assumptions that people often make about psychopathy. Although many people might assume that psychopaths are ‘born,’ not ‘made,’ the authors stress that psychopathy is not just a matter of genes – it appears to have multiple constitutional causes that can be shaped by environmental factors. Many psychologists also assume that psychopathy is inalterable – once a psychopath, always a psychopath. However, there is currently scant scientific evidence to support this claim. Recent empirical work suggests that youth and adults with high scores on measures of psychopathy can show reduced violent and other criminal behavior after intensive treatment.
Along with challenging the assumption that psychopathy is a monolithic entity, perhaps the other most important myth that the authors hope to dispel is that psychopathy is synonymous with violence. Skeem points out that psychopathic individuals often have no history of violent behaviour or criminal convictions. “Psychopathy cannot be equated with extreme violence or serial killing. In fact, “psychopaths” do not appear different in kind from other people, or inalterably dangerous,” she observes. Nor is it clear that psychopathy predicts violence much better than a past history of violent and other criminal behavior – or general antisocial traits.
Effectively dispelling these myths is important, the authors argue, because accurate policy recommendations hinge on which personality traits – and which groups of people – associated with psychopathy one is examining. “Decisions about juvenile and adult offenders that are based on faulty assumptions about violence risk, etiology, and treatment amenability have adverse consequences, both for individual offenders and the public,” Skeem says.
In clarifying the personality traits that characterize psychopathy, scientists can contribute to prevention and treatment strategies that improve public health and safety. “In short, research on psychopathy has evolved to a level that it can greatly improve on the current, ‘one size fits all’ policy approach,” concludes Skeem.
Narcissist may be the only people capable of tolerating narcissists.
Picture a narcissist. Who comes to mind? Is it your narcissistic boss, the mean girls from high school, the parent preening in yoga pants at drop-off, a political candidate, a frenemy on the outside of your circle, one of your child’s classmates? When you get the image in mind, you can’t help but think, gosh, who would be friends with this person? That’s the question of a paper(link is external) in the March issue of the journal Personality & Social Psychology Bulletin. Really, what kind of person is besties with a narcissist?
It’s an interesting question for many reasons, one of which is the fact that the members of a friend circle don’t tend to share personalities. Previous research(link is external) shows that best friends tend to be as different from each other and they are from a randomly chosen stranger. “The reason that people initiate friendships are manifold,” writes the paper, and these many reasons result in best friends that pair an introvert with an extravert, a crank with an optimist, or any other combination of seemingly mismatched personalities.
Is that true even when a narcissist makes friends?
To find out, the researchers from Humbolt University in Germany gathered 290 pairs of best friends and hit them with personality tests – a widely used test of the Big Five personality traits (openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness,neuroticism) and also a common test of what is called the “dark triad” of personality traits, namely narcissism, psychopathology and Machiavellianism (the last one is a person’s tendency to use cunning to control others). In this big stew of numbers, the researchers were able to ask if personalities – good and bad – tended to clump together between best friends.
Of course, there were pairs with very similar personalities, but there were also pairs in which the friends were very different from each other and so overall it was nearly a wash: The personalities of best friends were only slightly more similar to each other than they were to a randomly chosen stranger. (This goes against my intuition…and maybe yours, too?)
Now let’s look at narcissists. Unlike people pulled randomly from this sample, the Big Five personality traits of someone who scored high in narcissism were likely to be very similar to the personality traits of his or her best friend. This was almost doubly true when both best friends scored high in narcissism. In the (lovely…) case of a narcissist paired with a narcissist, Big Five personality traits tended to be extremely similar; the more a pair’s narcissism pushed toward the top of the scale, the more similar were their personalities.
Yes, narcissists are friends with versions of themselves. And when both friends are narcissists, the pull of shared personality is powerful. (This was true whether the pair was made up of female, male or female/male best friend pairs.)
My first thought was that the reason for this similarity must be that narcissists consider themselves perfect and so seek out “perfect” friends who share their own “perfect” personality. But that’s not the only explanation. Maybe, the authors suggest, the reason that narcissists end up being friends with people like themselves is that these same-personality friends are the only ones who can stand them.
The authors write that, “There is evidence that narcissists are even more tolerant of others’ narcissistic traits (e.g., bossy aggressive, arrogant, selfish) when they possess these characteristics themselves… based on their positive self-view and tendency to be less repelled by narcissistic traits.”
Personally, I can’t think of a whole lot scarier than the power couple composed of a pair of personality-aligned narcissists. But maybe in addition to fearing the power of best-friend narcissists, we could also find some pity? It may not be that narcissists seek themselves, but that they can’t help but be stuck with themselves.
The uniting global culture of the 21st Century does have risks that it needs to address as it moves into a new era that can finally be classed as a civilized society. Yet, any report that identifies the threats to our species needs to be holistic and progressive in its approach; otherwise it is just fear propaganda manufactured to elicit our blind consent.
In an article on the well-recognized Australian propaganda site – news.com.au – the three biggest threats that were identified in the ‘Worldwide Threat Assessment of the US Intelligence Community’ report were outlined. Simply, this was a stunningly transparent piece of the establishment’s disinformation agenda.
Allegedly, the three biggest threats to the world are:
- CYBER-ESPIONAGE; and
- NUCLEAR NORTH KOREA.
As stated in the second paragraph:
US National Intelligence Director James Clapper and other officials warned an attack by Islamic State on US soil was imminent, that North Korea now had the capability to produce up to 100 nuclear bombs and that Russian and Chinese hackers could dismantle critical defence, supply and information networks and were in fact already starting to do this.
We can see straight away the fear they’re trying to push: there are no internal threats; the big bad entities of the East are who we all need to be worried about. This would be hilarious if it wasn’t so dangerous, because as per design, it aims to keep the mainstream herd of breaking free from the false narratives which unfortunately characterize living in this day and age.
As the post-mainstream community has long understood, the primary threat that we collectively face is the shadow power structure which has bought out our financial, informational, political, medicinal and educational systems. The way in which money and resources are controlled in our society, as well as what information the matrix-media provides, is determined by this oligarchy which has long infiltrated western governments and the minds of the masses.
Therefore, we all need to be concerned that we no longer have a representative government. Abraham Lincoln’s famous quote is regrettably being transformed for the worse: a government of the people, by the people, for the people, is perishing from the earth.
More On What They Want You to Fear
Power is shifting from West to East. The reign of the American superpower is coming to an end which will be driven home after the death of the Petrodollar and the US dollar as the world’s reserve currency. Because the powers-that-be have foreseen this for a long time, they’re putting into place strategies, such as secret ‘resource and power consolidation’ agreements, to ensure their hegemony is not lost.
As part of this agenda, Islamic State (IS) is a proxy army of this global cabal. IS is made up of Sunni radical extremists, and was directly massaged into a well-equipped army by Turkey, Saudi Arabia and other Sunni-dominated Middle Eastern states. Weaponry and other equipment were also directly and indirectly supplied to them by Western nations.
As I noted in the article, “The Risks for 2016: Economic Collapse, More False Flags and WWIII”:
The prevailing view in the conscious society is that there is a shadow order that controls US and other western foreign policy. It is believed that they created Al Qaeda, and it’s offshoot Islamic State (IS), as proxy armies to overthrow leaders of the Middle East and obtain control of the governments, banking sectors and resources, as part of their global unification plan. This is also known as the New World Order (NWO) and is thought to be controlled at its core by ancient bloodlines that are fronted by Zionist and/or Jesuit agents.
The rise of terrorism has been a well planned ingredient to this recipe, officially beginning in 2001. In orchestrated stride, the ‘war-on-terror’ continued to escalate in 2015 with supposed terror attacks being carried out in dozens of areas across the Middle East and Africa, as well as the well-known ‘Paris Attacks’ and San Bernardino shootings later in the year.
Of course, many of these incidents might well be false-flag operations carried out by these ruling elite, who are hell-bent on uniting the world under their impenetrable rule.
Because there has been a war in the Middle East between the Sunni’s and Shiites for centuries, the Israeli/US elites have picked a side to meet their own ideological and geopolitical goals. Syria and Iran are primarily Shiites, whilst Turkey and Saudi Arabia are Sunni nations that have been allies of the U.S for decades. Turkey is also a part of NATO, so they were always going to choose this particular side.
It appears that Russia is the unplanned wildcard. They have allied with Iran and Syria because they have their own ideological, economical and geopolitical agendas. For this end, they have absolutely pumped the Sunni radical extremists since mid to late last year, which is why Saudi Arabia and their alliance have organized up to 350 thousand ground troops in early February to potentially enter Syria in a ground invasion. They of course will say this is to fight IS, but that’s just pure deception; the real aim would be to ensure that they don’t lose the battle for supremacy that they’ve invested so much time, energy and pride in.
Furthermore, Russia and China, among other nations, have collaborated to build new economic institutions for the future, including the BRICS bank and the Asian Infrastructure Investment Bank (AIIB). As noted in this Global Research article in February 2016:
China and Russia are investing in neighboring economies on terms that cement Eurasian integration on the basis of financing in their own currencies and favoring their own exports. They also have created the Shanghai Cooperation Organization (SCO) as an alternative military alliance to NATO. And the Asian Infrastructure Investment Bank (AIIB) threatens to replace the IMF and World Bank tandem in which the United States holds unique veto power.
As stated, this is in direct opposition to the oligarchical-controlled IMF and World Bank, although it must be noted that originally there was some endorsement by these institutions. In any case, as noted in an article by former Assistant Secretary of the Treasury, Dr. Paul Craig Roberts:
The basis of US foreign policy is the commitment to prevent the rise of powers capable of constraining Washington’s unilateral action. The ability of Russia and China to do this makes them both a target.
Washington is not opposed to terrorism. Washington has been purposely creating terrorism for many years. Terrorism is a weapon that Washington intends to use to destabilize Russia and China by exporting it to the Muslim populations in Russia and China.
In other words, Washington and the gullibility of its European vassals have put humanity in a very dangerous situation, as the only choices left to Russia and China are to accept American vassalage or to prepare for war.
Based on this analysis, Russia and China are only threats because the US (and Israel) oligarchy has made them into exactly that. The majority of people do not want further war, so the question then begs, will they stand up against this authoritarian agenda or will a well-orchestrated false flag convince the masses that it’s the only way forward to protect their freedoms?
Note: for those who vehemently say NO TO WAR, please see this initiative led by the infamous war veteran Ken O’Keefe.
The Real Threats that We Face
As discussed, there is a shadow order that has taken control of the way that we organize and economize our societies. They use their corporate monopolies to enact their agenda. If we don’t do something to stop this tyranny then the “11 Toxic Realities Society is Finally Waking Up About” will continue its carnage across our collective minds and hearts.
In addition, the global economy is tanking due to a saturation of debt and near worthless global currency. How this plays out in the coming months and years is hard to predict, yet the potential destruction of our current way of life, as well as massive social unrest, is very real. This is something we all need to hedge our bets against; hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.
Yet, there’s something even more powerful that if we don’t do something about, then nothing will change for the better. That threat is the ignorance of the masses. If the majority of people actually understood the issues, and were prepared to stand up and be counted in ensuring humanity’s next phase of evolution comes to fruition, then no matter how much money and resources are at the disposal of the despots, people power would inevitably reign supreme.
As I explained in a recent article titled “The Control-Matrix is Crashing because the Truth-Seekers are Winning”, the last several decades have resulted with:
- the military-industrial-media-politico-banking complex increase their power and continue their pillage across the world;
- pharmaceutical monopolies amplifying the drugging of society, as well as keeping many of us sick so that they maximize their profits;
- movements rise up only to be vilified and disassembled, such as the Occupy Movement;
- science turned into a corporate institution, as well as further hijacked by an inaccurate and small-minded philosophy of reality;
- wars purposely created with millions of people dying for the whims of the shadow empire;
- radical extremists massaged into proxy armies to do dirty work for the collapsing power structure;
- air, medicine, food and water becoming purposely more toxic;
- governmental policy increasingly being determined by corporate/elite interests;
- police being militarized all around the globe;
- the education model struggling to become less of an indoctrination system; and
- the agenda of global governance becoming closer to fruition.
Once the tipping point occurs and the masses wake up to these and other realities that threaten the future of our species, the paradigm shift will be in full swing. To do so, apathy will need to be transcended so that the awareness of the dysfunctions leads to effective and sustained action and the transformation of our social systems.
The goal? Design them so that we can truly say they are for the benefit of not just all of our fellow man, but our natural systems too.
The original article cited above uses fear to sedate the masses. It claims that one of the biggest threats are attacks on US and European soil. Of course known false flags like 911, and suspected ones like the 2015 Paris attacks, are insider moves on the geopolitical chess board, so when the masses are warned that one might occur, its only natural for the indoctrinated to automatically believe that it was whoever the presstitute media says it is.
Therefore, we must be vigilant when it comes to any significant events which arise. To do so, just stay tuned into the alternative media because there are many independent truth-seekers and social commentators who are disproving the false narratives to ensure the truth really is out there.
In addition, to save me reinventing the wheel, in my latest article I note that:
There’s escalating conflict all across the planet. The global economy is deflating from a decades-old debt bubble. Ignorance, apathy, ill-health and suffering are commonplace. Politics has sold-out. Money rules the rules. Then of course the consolidation of power has been very successful by the oligarchs, who have taken primary control of how money and information is circulated throughout society.
There is a bigger picture though. It is important to understand what we’re dealing with in all its forms, because if we align ourselves to it then we can co-create with it, no matter if it’s of positive or negative charge. Yet regardless of the exact details of all these realities, this is all part of a deeper energetic shift which is not only organic, but being fueled by individual and community action.
Ultimately, the potential for it to get worse before it gets better is something that we need to accept. Think smart, act smart. Do it for yourself and your loved ones, but also for the community that you call your home.
Because after all, we’re all on the same team; help those around you to realize it so that you can begin to build the future that you dream of in your own backyard, to the best of your ability.
Much love and strength to you all.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Source: The Mind Unleashed