In life we have choices. And sometimes we make the wrong ones.
In our youth, we fall down many times, we get back up and try again, we work ourselves into ruts, and we party ourselves into “situations.” We change our mind many times, and become frustrated at the process, defiantly and blindly choosing something by default. We study hard and then realize we hate the direction we’re headed
We delve into career paths and then decide they’re not for us. We build up the constructs of our lives – the house, the car, the job, the payments – and one day we wake up and realize we’re miserable. At this point, we’re faced with yet another choice: do I continue on in this path of misery because I’ve worked so hard for it, or do I make a change so that I can have the chance of achieving happiness? This might seem like an easy choice, but it certainly isn’t.
Starting over again from nothing isn’t a simple feat, and it certainly isn’t kind on the ego. You’ll be judged for your decision, your family will likely think your crazy, and your friends will try to talk you out of it. But guess what? Your friends and family are likely the ones who encouraged you into the path that ended up making you miserable, not on purpose of course; they want what’s best for you. But only you know what’s best for you. When you opt to take responsibility for your own life, you will make the latter choice. You will let go of your pride, and all of the constructs that reflect the progress you’ve made in your life, and you will start again.
You will go forth into a new path, and you will create a life for yourself that you love. When you make this decision, you are on your way to greatness. When you are willing to sacrifice everything in order to achieve the life you’ve always dreamed of, you will get there. Even just for the simple fact that you are no longer scared because you have nothing to lose – there’s nothing worse than the misery you know all too well. You are older now and you have clarity. Unlike before, you can now make the right choice based on experience. You were simply too young to know better before, and the mistake of going in the wrong direction because of that is all too common.
I can’t fathom why in the world anyone – our teachers, our parents, our government, or anyone else – would pressure us to make up our minds when we’re too young to decide correctly. Seems like a failure waiting to happen, doesn’t it? My argument is that the point of life is not to just get by. The purpose of your life is much greater than to go to work and make a pay cheque in order to pay rent and put food on the table. The purpose of your life extends much further than simply being able to access the necessities of living. And you should be able to live within your work as opposed to just outside of it.
The purpose of your life is to do something, be something, and live some way that makes you overwhelmingly, stupidly happy. The purpose of your life is to contribute something positive and remarkable to the world, and to leave your mark through something that is meaningful – both to you and others. The purpose of your life is to discover, learn, love, and be happy while breathing every single day.
If you find yourself at this difficult point – the crossroads of your life’s path – and are having difficulty deciding which road to follow, simply ask yourself the question…. …… If you’re not doing what you love, then what’s the point?
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Question : Are there divine preferences, divine injustices and divine irregularities?
Mahatria: It may appear so, but Existential Order is always zero defect. Everything is as it should be. There are no irregularities in Existence. If I may use a metaphor, it doesn’t matter how noble hearted one is, but if he doesn’t know how to drive and yet attempts to drive a vehicle, he is sure to meet with an accident. The suffering of most people is that though they may be good, though they may believe in god, they have failed to develop the competence to live life.
We just believe that worshiping god or the messengers of god or the incarnations of god is sufficient to earn His blessing. We are lost in the ignorance that god will come and save us just as an answer to all our pujas, rituals and offerings. We choose to make various kinds of offerings as kickbacks to please the Lord and expedite matters for us, tilt opportunities in our favour, prolong the life of our loved ones, etc… but we have conveniently chosen to ignore principles like Honesty, Integrity, Karma and so many other virtues, which find common mention across all scriptures.
Think about it. If worshipping the Lord is sufficient, then why the Bible? Why the Koran? Why the Bhagawad Gita? Why any scripture for that matter? In fact, the very basis of every scripture is to teach you and me the components of Existential Order, so that you and I can live our lives in alignment with the Existential Order. Even if you are a maths teacher’s son, if two plus two is written as three, you are wrong. Even if you know nothing about the examiner, if two plus two is written as four, you are right.
Even those who do not know ‘Who is god?’, even those who do not believe in the existence of god, as long as they live in alignment to the Existential Order, which is what every scripture is all about, they will always be blessed by His grace. The more you are aligned to the Existential Order, the more you’ll experience His Grace. Grace is the spiritual reward for aligning yourself to the Existential Order.
Suffering is a spiritual feedback that somewhere you have lost your alignment to the Existential Order. God is not a matter of belief, but a matter of alignment.Why did the incarnate Krishna waste his time preaching eighteen chapters, answering and clarifying every question of Arjuna? Krishna could have simply told Arjuna – go around me thrice, pour some milk and ghee over me, smear sandalwood paste all over your body, fall at my feet four times and just shoot your arrows. Then, why at all the Bhagawad Gita?
If going to church on Sunday mornings and faith in Christ are enough, then why did Christ waste three years of his life sermonising ‘Dos’ and ‘Don’ts’ which became the Bible? If doing Namaz five times a day is enough, then why all those ‘Dos’ and ‘Don’ts’ in the Koran?
The Mahabharata shows that Duryodana took all the resources of Krishna, and that was not enough. Arjuna had Krishna himself, and that too was not enough. Only when Arjuna understood the Dharma (Existential Order) and acted in alignment with it was he able to emerge victorious. The message is clear and simple – god does not work for you; He works with you. His design is such that the only way He can work with you is when you live in alignment with the Existential Order.
If god is the Messenger, the scriptures are his Message. The only way to have the grace of the Messenger is to live by the Message. It is just not enough to value the Master… you must Master the values. Be devoted to the Messenger, but be disciplined by the Message.
Extracts from “Clarity is Power”.
Anchoring is how we get into the right state for what we want to do.
You connect a symbol with the desired state, or resource state. It’s called a resource state, because
you are more resourceful when you are in that state. This is the state when you can
make the best use of the resources you have. Of course, the state must be a good resource state
for what you have in mind. It must be congruent to what you wished to accomplish. If you have
intense confidence and desire for opportunity as a resource state, it would be very
good for a job interview, and maybe not so good for being a grief counselor.
Here’s a Short yet Useful Script that will surely help you to practice Anchoring on your own-self.
Decide what state you want to create an anchor for. For example, perhaps you would like
to anchor a good state for meeting and negotiating. Whatever it is chose one … Move into
third position, as if you are watching your life in a movie. Recall all the times that you felt
some aspect of that state.
Every time you feel some aspect of the desired state, amplify it and expand it.
See yourself in the movie experiencing that state, and let yourself as the observer
feel it as well. (That’s a little different from the usual third position experience.)
Keep doing that until you feel the state intensely …
Each time you think of a time in which you felt some aspect of that state, see what
is most visually positive and compelling. Emphasize those visual elements in the
movie. Hear what is most audibly positive and compelling … Hear any words that
others said or that you could say that are most mentally positive and compelling …
Feel what is most palpably positive and compelling … Feel whatever internal
sensations are most positive and compelling, like feeling very up or expansive … See
yourself now, standing in a nice place,fully feeling that state, and see how you look
in that state–your facial expression, your posture, you can even add cosmic energy
of just the right color streaming into your aura.
Now create a sign with your hand such as an OK sign, one that you would not
do very often, or interlace your fingers in the opposite way from normal, and hold
that position while you imagine moving into first position (directly in the feelings)
with your eyes closed (so there are no distractions from the feeling), and savor the
#Practice_Regularly #Self_Help #More_to_Come
It’s time to take care of you. Live your dream. Do what you know and not what you feel. Listen to what your heart says, listen to what you always asked for. You deserve to live too! You have needs too!
Give yourself a mental break and take time to get centered, grounded and reconnected with your spirit. Allowing your time to be wasted with people who are not serious is not fruitful and it’s stressful. Be with the ones who Inspires you instead of those who stops you.
Staying in a job where you are not appreciated or valued or validated is draining and toxic. They don’t deserve you. Hanging on to a relationship that has been dead a long time ago takes a toll. Finish it off now, take a stand !!! Take a deep breath and tap into the courage to make the tough decision.
Things might be difficult for a while, but don’t underestimate yourself. You are Blessed with huge Potentials. Have Faith in The Almighty and Trust Self. Follow your Intuition, everything is already there for you. All you need do is to trust them have faith in it and open your divine heart to receive it. Intuitions will show you ways to get your desires manifested and believe me these will lead you on the right path if you have faith in your inner self. With this you will experience greatest transformation within yourself.
The Swish is an NLP technique for dealing with unpleasant feelings.
This is a valuable technique for managing negative thoughts and feelings about:
- The past: e.g. feelings from embarrassing or irritating memories
- The present: e.g. feelings provoked by self-undermining thoughts
- The future: e.g. anxiety-provoking thoughts about forthcoming situations.
Credits for the creation of this NLP pattern belong to Richard Bandler and John Grinder. This helps to Break an automatic thought or behavior pattern, and replace it with a resourceful one. Use the Swish pattern for problems such as smoking cessation, anger management, public speaking, nervousness, self-confidence, and self-esteem. The Swish is an NLP technique for dealing with unpleasant feelings. With the help of this amazing technique one can get free from any bad habit, he wants to leave. This Transforms your Negativity into Positivity as you will now be able to replace the Negative thoughts into Positive Ones and All your Limiting Beliefs will now be Destroyed with consistent Practice.
Following Steps will help you to Understand the Working of this Powerful Technique.
Step 1. Recognize the automatic reaction
Recognize the automatic reaction , the thoughts, feelings, or images that occur to you when you think of the challenging situation.
Select a replacement image, something inspiring, such as a really good outcome that helps create a positive state.
Imagine yourself in a dissociated image, the third perceptual position, as if you are watching yourself in a movie.
Enhance the qualities, such as submodalities of the scene until it is as compelling as possible.
*Submodalities refers to the subjective structural subdivisions within a given representational system.
Step 2. Determine the trigger of the negative image
Discover what tells your mind to produce the negative image or behavior.This is the very crucial stage of self analysis and you must be Very Honest to yourself.
Ask yourself, “What occurs just before this negative or unwanted state begins?” This time, you want an associated scene (first position, looking through your own eyes) of what is going on immediately before you engage in the unwanted activity.
Remember to think in terms of sub-modalities to get a detailed sense of the scene. It functions as a trigger for the non-resourceful state.
Step 3. Place the replacement
Put the replacement off in the corner of the negative image. For Example you want to replace the Feeling of Failure with the one of Learning from the event that has happened. Imagine a small, postage-stamp-sized version of your replacement scene in the bottom corner of the negative scene.
Step 4. Swish the two images
You will be making both images change simultaneously and with increasing speed. The bad feeling getting smaller and smaller with an increase in size of the picture of something positive you want to replace it with. When you Swish, have the negative scene become smaller and shoot off into the distance. At the same time, have the positive replacement image zip in closer and larger, rapidly and completely replacing the negative scene.
Imagine it making a strong sound (a sound that you can easily associate with) as it zips into place.
At first, you’ll probably do this slowly, taking a few seconds to complete the Swish.
As you repeat the process, you will be able to do it faster and faster, until you Swish nearly instantaneously.
Step 5. Repeat
Clear your mind after each Swish. This is very important. Do this by thinking of something else, such as your favorite color or what you need to do later. Remember to breathe easily during the Swish and the breaks. Do the Swish five to seven times, repeating steps three to five each time.
You know you have a good outcome when you have some difficulty maintaining the negative image.
Step 6. Test
Now try to use the limiting thought or behavior again. Notice how hard, if not impossible, it is for you to act it out. Notice that you actually have to think about how to do it first; it is not as automatic as it used to be. If you feel that you could relapse, use the Swish again in a day or two, and again after a week.
You Need To Practice on a Regular Basis So that you can have a Grip over It.
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Music, movies, friends and fairy tales teach us how to love but they don’t teach us what not to do and where it can go wrong. Will you accept any suggestion without asking a single question about it? Don’t you argue to a statement said by a friend or a teacher or anyone who you think is trying to advice you?
Then how can you accept such lessons without questioning , this can be dangerous to the health of your relationships. Here are five myths that can kill any love relationship.
You’ll be wise to avoid them.
- Love is enough.
- There is nothing to learn.
- If you love me, you’ll _______.
- My mate will change.
- I’ll do my half.
- Love is enough.
This is a lie. Love alone is not enough to hold you together. There must be communication, a sense of togetherness and understanding each other is an important part of any relationship. Life brings with it challenges. There comes a point when you now have to find out how to share the same house, the same room, the same bed, and the same money you have.
This will be no longer a dating scene as it used to be, you now have new friends, relatives, and strangers to deal with. Those charming things you like about each other are now with you all the time. Closeness brings intimacy but it also brings a need to change and adapt. Change is difficult. You can tolerate so much of change that won’t affect you.
In fact, studies show that living together before marriage is an indicator for a higher chance of divorce. Even though you can’t avoid problems, you can prevent their damage. What you can do is to create a safe environment at home where you can talk with each other, get some time to communicate with each other. When you can talk without fear of criticism, anger, or any other lack of support, you can talk about anything. Problems can only be solved when you can talk as true partners, without any fear of one denying other.
- There is nothing to learn
Since love is not enough and you were probably not taught neither you were keen to learn how to communicate and solve problems, it’s time to learn. Even couples who have come from the best of homes probably never saw their parents solve problems. What they often get to see is a conflict in place every third day and then none of them talking to one another till the weekend. Parents rarely are able to teach their children the skills for handling difficult times and the skills for keeping love alive.
As your relation celebrates more days adding into it making it closer to one more anniversary, romance takes a backseat. Romance often get reduced gradually with the time, there can be many reasons for the same. As you grow through life, you will change. Your partner will change. Your relationship will change. If you stay open to accepting change, you can grow from it rather than resisting it.
Learning who you are and who your partner is can be a wonderful experience. Just remember that it doesn’t stop when you think you have learned everything from the past. You have the present and the future to look forward to.
- If you love me, you’ll _______.
Fill in the blank with what comes to mind.
Some popular ones are: …you’ll change, know what I need, do what I want, give in, and just trust me. This statement makes love conditional upon the other person doing what you ask as a proof of their love. Such expectation of conditional love is dangerous. There is a dark translation to this type of expectation. What you are saying, in effect is, “I don’t trust your love so you better prove it to me now.”, or “I don’t care enough about you to consider your feelings, wants, and needs. What I want is more important.”
This type of statement can be a warning sign. Demand and conditional love usually say more about the person making the statement than about the recipient. It speaks to an unreasonable expectation that may be motivated by a lack of care about the partner or by a personal lack of self-esteem. Expectations of “knowing what I need” demand that your partner have the ability to mind read. I noticed it many times that your girl will not ask for what she need, thinking as if you know her demands. You are in a relationship doesn’t mean that you know everything about your partner. You are not a mind reader I believe!!! They must tell what they need and what they don’t.
The only way your partner can know what you need, want, feel, or think is your telling them. Good communication is a powerful tool for understanding. On the other hand, it is not unreasonable to have expectations of your partner in the relationship. How you voice them is important.
- My mate will change.
Yes, they will and you have no control. The people who expect there mate to change in the way they want are the ones who gets disappointed. The only person you can ever change is yourself. This can be a relationship killing expectation, as no one changes for anybody and no one actually should change for any person except himself/herself. In many cases, they expect there partner to change for example If he is a foodie and you cannot expect him to be on diet as soon as he marries you !!!
Such demands are unreasonable, unwelcome, and unlikely to succeed.
People change because they want to not because you want them to. And all people change and grow as they age. But people rarely change for the better when they are under pressure from someone else…even a loved one.
The strongest relationships are founded on the commitment of two strong individuals who bring themselves to the relationship. It means compromise, growth and change but it does not mean giving in to the unreasonable demands of another. The article, Change and Grow has some further insights on this subject.
- I’ll do my half.
It’s about compromising several times; you compromise because you love your partner. There is no such thing as a truly successful long term marriage where each partner gives only their half (50%). The only truth is that our expectations for a fairy tale marriage lead us down the road to disappointment, disillusionment, and divorce.
“I’ve had it. You’re selfish. If you really loved me, you’d understand what I need. I’ve been giving and giving and I get nothing in return. You don’t give me what I want anymore. Maybe we should get divorced.” This conversation or others like it is held are more common in relationships these days. Being in a relationship is not that easy and magical as they show us on television or movies. It takes lot of efforts; it’s about keeping aside your ego. Sometimes you have to fight with your own-self. Relationships can provide you immense pleasure and strength but when it comes to hardships this can let you experience the worst.
The truth will help you create your role in a positive lifetime marriage. The Truth: Men and women are not equal. Thank God. We are different as individuals and, in that difference, lies part of the answer to a happy marriage. What we choose to do with those differences determines, perhaps more than love, what our relationship will look like. And it’s not a fifty-fifty deal. A truly happy and lifetime marriage relationship is a seventy five: seventy five proposition (75:75) and all marriages will have problems at some time. It’s inevitable. Differences and intimacy are a recipe for conflict.
By giving more than half, with the faith that you are both committed to the same marriage team and by communicating for understanding, with the goal of a winning marriage, you can overcome the inevitable problems of creating a happy married life. You can prosper and be happy when you each give seventy five percent to your marriage.
When you know that your partner is contributing more than their fair share, it’s easier for you to do the same. Even though the fairy tales aren’t always right, there can be a happy ending; a happy married life for those of you who commit to giving more to your marriage. When you communicate for understanding, and make your relationship a priority, you do have a chance of succeeding where so many other millions have failed. Yes, it takes work.