Tag: Sensitive People

Sapiosexuals: Why We’re Scientifically Attracted To Intelligent People.

I’ll readily admit that I’d f*ck someone ugly if he were super smart. When a guy can challenge me intellectually, I literally get wet. I’m not even kidding right now.

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When I see a guy in glasses, sitting behind a book on the train, I don’t even see anything else. I just want to jump him because he looks smart.

I am so into smart guys. I don’t even care if he’s an assh*le, as long as he’s smart AF.

I once had a man approach me at a cafe and ask me about a Russian novel I was reading because he also loved Solzhenitsyn. Needless to say, buddy boy got my number and into my pants two weeks later. Sorry not sorry.

I am a proud sapiosexual. And I am not alone. Generation Y is teeming with us.

A sapiosexual is someone who finds sexual stimulation from the way a person’s mind works. It means you literally are attracted to intelligence. Looks take a backseat to a person’s wit.

When you think about it, why shouldn’t the brain be the thing we’re attracted to? Why would you want muscles over conversation? Why would you want looks over books?

It’s the brain that makes the man or woman. Looks fade; knowledge is forever.

Science is finally getting behind what we’ve all known all along: Smart is sexy.

According to Diana Rabb, a PhD in transpersonal psychology:

The brain is the largest sex organ. Those who admit to being sapiosexual will say that they are turned on by the brain and tend to be teased or excited by the insights of another person.

Sound familiar? If you are anything like me, all you want is a troll with an amazing, dark sense of humor, cultural knowledge and a hankering for Salinger.

Rabb continues:

As foreplay, the sapiosexual person may crave philosophical, political or psychological discussions because this turns [him or her] on.

So for us, intelligence is the way to get us hot and bothered. If a man can engage in a healthy debate with us or make us think in a different way about something, that’s the first step to sex.

For some, foreplay is a little heavy petting, but not for the sapiosexuals of the world! A little talk of politics or our favorite authors and we are going to need to get it in immediately.

Ugh, I’m kind of turning myself on right now thinking about smart men in glasses telling me something about “Heart of Darkness” and allegories.

Sapiosexuality: It is a real thing.

Smart man, strong sperm.

Researchers from the University of Mexico have found a connection between a man’s virility and his intelligence.

The study tested the sperm of 400 men after putting them through intense mental testing.

Those with higher IQs directly correlated with having healthy sperm. Therefore, smart men have the strongest sperm.

Women are attracted to intelligence because their ovaries can sense that choosing a smart mate means a better chance of having babies.

Women are all about getting the best sperm to make their babies. We’re selective like that.

If you like his brain, you’re going to like his sperm.


High intelligence, high sex drive.

Research conducted by the sex toy company Lovehoney found a direct connection with high IQ and libido.

As reported in Medical Daily, the company found that students from “elite” universities were among the most frequent toy buyers. So, it’s the smartest among us who are also the most sexual.

While the research shows the amount of sex you’re having may be inversely related to your intelligence, your sex drive is actually more rigorous.

So if you’re dating a man or woman who is especially brainy, you can probably bet he or she is going to be especially horny as well. Who doesn’t want to be having more sex?

As a highly sexual woman, I have to say this is wonderful news. Smart sex is good sex.


We feel like we have something to prove to our parents.

If you go home with someone, and he doesn’t have a lot of books, don’t f*ck ’em! – John Waters

I see this quote everywhere these days, from tweets to Instas. This generation has rallied around intelligence.

Despite what older generations may think, Gen-Y is a generation of readers and writers. We’re thinkers and creatives more than anything else. We dream big.

We crave knowledge. We want to understand the world around us. Since we’re constantly faulted for our love of selfies, Instagram and partying, we’ve started to push back against the backlash.

We’ve started a Millennial movement around being smart. It isn’t attractive to be stupid.

We revere intelligence and see it as sexually appealing because we want to show the world how smart we actually are.

Take that, Gen-X! Take that, Mom!

We aren’t wrapped up in our gym selfies and food pictures; we’re wrapped up in Steinbeck and Socrates.

We want to show how far we’ve come cerebrally despite all of this technology and vacuous bullsh*t we’re surrounded by.


Dumb is never cute.

We’re trying to get our hands on everything we can to improve ourselves. If you’re not smart, you’re not appealing.

Your mind is the sexiest thing you have. If we can win people over with the wit of our personalities instead of our looks, we’ve emerged victorious.

We’re writing on every forum we can get our name on. We’re devouring paperbacks on the subway.

We’re looking down on anyone without a college degree, and we’re absorbing all of the information the Internet can provide for us.

We’re utilizing our resources for the greater good.

Despite how superficial and narcissistic we’re made out to be, we’re actually the most highly educated and authentic people out there.

We’re attracted to intelligence because we understand its worth. We can see past the emptiness of celebrity gossip and reality television and into what is really important.

We love with our minds first and our hearts second.

Author: Gigi Engle, Gigi Engle is a Staff Writer for Elite Daily, covering all things sex and love related. She’s completely insane, but in a good way. Follow her on Facebook, Insta and Twitter @GigiEngle

Source: Elite Daily

6 Signs You Could Be a Highly Sensitive Person – Thousand Thoughts

A little-understood inherited temperament could be impacting your life or someone you love in surprising ways.

Psychologist Elaine Aron‘s research on a temperament category she describes as the “highly sensitive person” (HSP) has been gaining increased attention in recent years, and giving many people a big “aha” moment. Could you be among the 15-20 percent of the population she believes make up this group? I’ve learned that I am, and finding this out has changed the way I look at…everything.

When I was a kid, the taste of many foods was unbearably intense, and certain sounds were, too. I had a vivid imagination and experienced acute awareness of emotions — both my own and those of others. Yet I was not shy. Sometimes I would get so overstimulated I would find myself talking constantly, a tendency that earned me the nickname “Loquacious Lynn” from my mother and demerit points in school. I was transfixed by odd things: once, at summer camp, I stood paralyzed by the side of a stream, knowing that when I reached the other side I would be older and could never reverse the flow of time. I felt and saw things that enchanted and sometimes frightened me.

I grew up thinking I was most definitely weird, if not a tad crazy, and tried to send these peculiarities underground so I’d appear “normal.” The effort was exhausting.

According to Aron, a lot of kids grow up feeling flawed (and perhaps medicated on that assumption) when they are not really flawed at all — they are just expressing a trait well within the normal human range: high sensitivity. In some cultures, such as Japan, the trait is highly valued, though sadly, this is often not the case in Western society, and such children can experience negative or confused reactions from peers and adults. In the 2011 documentary Bully, a child who commits suicide in response to bullying shows his first signs of being “different” as high sensitivity to loud noises, a fact no one comments upon as linked to his distressing experiences at school.

An HSP’s temperament appears to be largely inherited (revealed through twin studies and other research), though environment plays a key role in how it develops. If the child is either overprotected or chastised for expressing what is for him or her perfectly normal, problems develop. Researchers who study the brain find that HSPs are aroused by stimuli that may not be detected by others and their difference has to do with how the brain processes information. They can’t change what they are, though they can learn how to cope and monitor themselves.

High sensitivity can be seen in other higher animals, too. From an evolutionary standpoint, the trait is valuable in a group. While you don’t want everyone, or even most members to have it, heightened sensitivity in some individuals is beneficial: They can warn of potential danger, make acute observations of the behavior of other animals, and share the wisdom of their tendency toward greater reflection. In history, HSPs would be the priest-advisors in the community. Today they are often the artists, teachers, researchers, and judges.

In the modern world, the trait has both positive and negative aspects. On the good side, you may be better able to spot errors and process information to deeper levels in your brain. On the bad side, you can react to false alarms and become rattled by loud noises and other stimuli. Caffeine and medicines may cause you to react more than most. Aron has also observed in her work that HSPs who had difficult childhoods are particularly prone to anxiety as adults.

According to Aron, this trait is not a new discovery, but it is something that has often been misunderstood and culturally devalued, making life challenging for people who live with it. Here are some things that tend to be associated with HSPs. (You can also take a self-test online.)

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1. You were described as sensitive or shy as a child:

You were the kid who knew what somebody was about to say before they said it. You reacted strongly to changes in your environment. Maybe you were the one who paused to watch before jumping into the game. Aron emphasizes that while most HSPs have been labeled shy, a full 30 percent have not and would be described as extroverted. She notes that some observers, like Susan Cain in her best-selling book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, may really be talking about sensitivity when they discuss introversion. Being highly reactive to stimuli does not necessarily mean you don’t seek out crowds or new acquaintances, although it often does. The key underlying trait is sensitivity, not inhibition. Some HSPs are actually sensation-seekers — stimuli can bring them intense pleasure as well as discomfort.

2. You pick up subtleties in your environment:

The HSP’s brain processes information and reflects on it more deeply. One thing HSPs share is the tendency to notice things others might not pick up on so readily, like the mood of a teacher or the rearrangment of furniture in a room. An artificial sweetener might taste like a chemical experiment, and someone’s slightly off-key singing might sound like a fingernail on a chalkboard. HSPs might also have noticed a tendency to detect when someone is telling a lie, or intuit another person’s feelings.

3. You can easily become overwhelmed:

Too much intensity, chaos and noise can wreak havoc on an HSP, which is why they often work better in quiet environments. When they are able to concentrate, HSPs are excellent at work that requires deep thinking and fast turnover. But turn up the volume around them and ask them to do too many things at once and they become overloaded. If you’re the kind of person who feels the need to retreat by yourself after a trip or an outing with friends or a busy day, you might be an HSP. Part of managing life for an HSP (or somebody who is close to one) is understanding and respecting the need for extra time to regroup and making allowances for your particular work style.

4. You fall hard and fast:

Aron has devoted an entire book, The Highly Sensitive Person in Love, to the topic of HSPs and their style of loving. When they fall in love, they often feel tremendous ecstasy, and often very quickly, but they also feel anxiety, overstimulation and difficulty processing their intense emotions. Overstimulation and intensity can make intimacy difficult for HSPs, who are also the type of people who naturally seek it out. For HSPs, the risk of heartbreak and unhappy relationships is unfortunately higher than average, but understanding the trait and finding a partner who can be patient with it can increase the odds of success.

5. You are conscientious:

HSPs tend to be conscientious people who try hard to perform their duties well and execute their work at their very best level. They often have particularly good manners, and notice when others don’t. Rudeness and work that is full of errors drive them nuts. HSPs are often especially concerned with issues of social justice, and will fight hard to right wrongs in the world.

6. You have a vivid imagination:

HSPs are often very creative people. They have vivid dreams and can wander off into imaginary realms in their minds. They are also very empathetic and can imagine the thoughts and feelings of others. An interest in art, philosophy and spirituality is common. Carl Jung was one of the early psychologists most interested in HSPs (he used a different term), probably because he himself was one. He thought that people with “innate sensitivity,” as he put it, were more in touch with the unconscious mind and could be especially insightful.

If all of this sounds like you, you might just be a highly sensitive person, equipped with a temperament that requires special skills and knowledge to deal with. As I’m learning more about how this trait works in my own life, I’m grateful that Aron does not pathologize it, but treats it as something that simply is. Even for people who are not HSPs, information on the topic can surely be useful to parents, teachers, partners, and co-workers who have an HSP among them.

 

Credits:  Lynn Stuart Parramore / AlterNet