Tag: Self

Stuck In “To do or Not to Do”? Resolve Your Internal Conflicts NOW .

Internal Conflicts

Most Of the time people Give up just because they fail to resolve their own Internal Conflicts..

Once you manage to overcome your Internal Conflicts, you will be able to take Instant Decision.. On your Own!!!

This pattern helps with the very common problem of disagreement between parts.

When you struggle with yourself to do or not do something, when you procrastinate

what you  must do now and seem to be arguing with yourself in your mind, this is the pattern to use.

Follow these simple steps to Fight the problem of Internal Conflicts…

Step 1. The Conflict

Select a personal conflict. This can be anything, “Shall I listen to what they say”? or “Should I ignore them” ? It may be something you’ve contradictory feelings about, or some way that you sabotage yourself or cannot accept yourself. Reason can be anything, just take that situation.

Step 2. A Memory

Recall a memory of experiencing this inner conflict. When did you felt it?? View it from the observer position. Analyse it, Observe it.

Step 3. Take a Side

Get into the first perceptual position with one side of the conflict. Step into the experience. Review the OTHER side of the conflict from this position. Notice what comes up during this in all sense modes.

Step 4. Positive Intention

Still on that side, ask the other side to express all of its positive intentions, including any beliefs ( set by your o others for you ) and goals that it can express to your side.

Step 5. Switch

Now step into the other part. From this position, repeat steps three and four.

STEP6. Repeat

Repeat this switching and receiving until both sides have a good understanding of each other. Be sure to include beliefs ( including limiting beliefs ), values, and objectives.

Step 7. Meta-Position (Above usual)

Move to a meta-position above both parts. From there, ask the parts to propose solutions or outcomes that they expect to be satisfactory to both sides. Draw out concerns from either side about these ideas, and note any ecological issues. Do as much brain-storming as you need to in order to come up with a good collection of ideas.

Step 8.  New Part

Notice how this new collection of ideas is an amalgam of the values and higher intentions of the two parts. It is also an agenda. Experience how it could be considered a part all on its own. Bring this part into your body and accept it as an important part.

Step 9. Future Pace and Test

Imagine a future with this part creating results for you. Redo this process as needed for any ecological concerns or problems. Test it out in real life and come back to this process as needed.

Practice it a few times to get results you always wanted.

Feel free to share this with people you know, so that they can get some benefit as well. !!

Discovering the Positive Intent behind any Negative Behavior.

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“If you can change your mind, you can change your life.

What you believe creates the actual fact.

The greatest revolution of my generation is to discover that

Individuals, by changing their inner attitudes of mind, can change

the outer aspects of their lives.”

– William James

 

Transform self-sabotage into success. By discovering the positive intent behind a negative behavior or attitude,

you can release tremendous energy and positive commitment. In his outstanding book Sleight Of Mouth:

The Magic Of Conversational Belief Change, master trainer and famous NLP developer Robert Dilts says:

“At some level all behavior is (or at one time was) “positively intended.” It is or was perceived as appropriate given the context in which it was established, from the point of view of the person whose behavior it is. It is easier and more productive to respond to the intention rather than the expression of a problematic behavior. “

 Here are the steps to Find Positive Intentions  in the whatever you do…

 

Step #1. Define the problem.

Briefly state the problem with enough detail so that it is clear in your mind. Mind must be clear about what

the exact problem is. It may primarily be a situation, personal problem, or a challenge. Define what meaning you

give to an Unproductive Behavior. Be clear about what behavior is productive. State the reason for the meaning you gave,

why any particular behavior is unproductive as per you. You must be clear about it, with no confusions.

 

Step #2. Reveal the Underlying Motives

Take a few minutes to relax, breathe deeply and lay back. Now, go inside, imagine your mind has special internal messengers.”

These are parts of your personality, which have characteristic tendencies or habitual behaviors.

Find the part that is responsible for generating the unproductive behavior.

Bring this part into awareness as though it were a complete personality.

Remember that a part is an aspect of you.

A part is like a little personality inside of you. In order to be aligned and successful,

you must not work at cross purposes with yourself. This requires negotiating or working with your parts.

Now imagine that you can do a role playing game with this particular part. Ask the part what it

wanted to have, do or become, through the negative behavior or attitude. What value or benefit it

expects to get from this. Ask directly, “What did you wish for me to accomplish by doing this?”

Take as much time as you need to imagine and listen to the part’s responses.

 

Step #3. Get to the core motives.

Keep asking “why” and “what” questions to clarify the motives. Recycle each answer into a new question.

Practice questioning until you feel that you have gotten to the core motives. You should identify a

core belief along with the core value and core reasons for the behaviors or attitudes that, at first glance,

seem to be unsupportive of you.