Have you ever noticed that when you break up with someone, your friends and family automatically become super honest about how they felt about your (now former) significant other? They suddenly feel free to take open shots at how she walked, talked, dressed, and lived.
When I was younger, I was dating a girl I really liked, but my friends knew she wasn’t the right one for me. We were going in different directions socially and spiritually, but because my friends knew I really liked her, they felt paralyzed by the unwritten laws of friendship, which prohibited them from voicing their complaints.
I should have walked away from the relationship a year or so before it ended, but I was too blind and apathetic to make the shift. Once things were over between us, all my friends and family began to divulge their raw opinions about her. Their judgments didn’t reveal any new information, but rather drew attention to problems I didn’t have the guts to face during the relationship.
We’ve all been on one end of this conversation or the other. You’ve either been the person giving the raw opinion or receiving it. We’ve said and heard, “Oh, I never thought he was that great of a guy in the first place. I’m glad you guys are over.”
But this begs the question: Where are our friends and family in the middle of our romantic relationships? Why aren’t they speaking up then? The unfortunate reality is that oftentimes, our loved ones are right in front of us, giving signs of caution the whole time — we just aren’t listening.
Don’t see singleness as a bad place to be
If we’re being honest, we don’t recognize the signs of caution because we really don’t want to. When we’re falling in love, we consistently give our significant other the benefit of the doubt. We make excuses for the person we are falling for because we want and need them to be as awesome as we had hoped they would be. If it turns out they’re not, we would be back to square one.
Singleness can feel so burdensome that we’d rather be with someone who is moderately close to our standards than return to lonely Friday nights and Netflix series. So even when signs of caution are staring us in the face, we reason that being with anybody is a lesser evil than being alone. This makes deciding when to walk away from a relationship especially difficult.
The first thing you have to understand is that singleness is not a bad place to be.
Perhaps the greatest gift your love life can receive is an accurate view of singleness. Singleness is not a disease, but rather a season of life designed to help shape you into the best you. It’s an era in which you can try the things you won’t be able to do when you have the responsibility of raising a family. This is the time to compile a bucket list of what you’d like to achieve before marriage.
When I was single, I started two businesses and traveled like crazy. I picked places I wanted to go, friends I wanted to see, and goals I wanted to achieve. It was a time when I could fail a business and it wouldn’t affect an entire family.
Singleness is an opportunity that most people waste on looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right. But it doesn’t have to be merely a stepping-stone on the way to something greater; it could be a decade you devote to dreams and passions. So walking away from a relationship is not the end of the world — instead, it could be the beginning of your destiny.
Let your community be honest with you
Secondly, you have to listen to your community. Your friends and family who witness your relationships will never truthfully tell you how they feel unless you invite them to do so. In fact, it’s the only way people are honest with us about anything.
So if you’re not dating within a community, find one. Have your significant other hang out with your family or friends — and later on, privately ask them to give you honest feedback about your new love interest.
Your mom might not like her. Your dad may love her. Your best friend may think she’s not the one. You want to seek counsel from the people you trust the most — and also have good relational track records themselves.
Rarely will your entire community of trusted advisors be split down the middle in their opinion of a person. Usually, your family and friends will get a resounding feeling when they meet your significant other. Pay attention and heed what they have to say, and you’ll find yourself making the right decision.
However, in order to receive a fair assessment, be careful of how you talk about your significant other. I had a friend in college who once asked me about a girl he was dating. They were having some serious problems at the time and he wanted to hear my perspective. I told him straight up, “I think she has a horrible attitude and treats you like crap.” He responded with a “Wow.”
Moreover, I told him that the reason I felt that way about her was because that’s the picture of her he had painted in my mind. He depicted her as the witch and himself as the prince. Although this was the first time he had asked my opinion, this was not the first time he had told me about her — and he would only tell me about her when they were having problems.
We don’t naturally tell our friends what’s going on in our relationships when things are all sunshine and rainbows because it’s not juicy. “Hey, we went to dinner tonight, held hands, and encouraged each other for an hour. It was great!” — this is not the text you’d normally send to your friends.
However, if you have a fight, then you have something worthy of a phone call. And when we do share news of a fight, we rarely use statements like, “I was totally wrong.” So instead, try to give your family and friends the whole picture. That way, when they do give their perspective of the relationship, it’s not a flawed one.
Don’t stay because you fear being alone
Ultimately, if you want to stay in your relationship because you’re afraid that nothing else better will come along, then you’re simply settling. You have to trust that if you’re making the right decisions for the right reasons, God will bring you exactly whom he’s designed you to be with.
However, a relationship sustained by a fear of not having anyone at all will lead to a very unpleasant marriage and potential divorce. If you have a gut feeling that you’re not supposed to be in that relationship and your community of family and friends are in agreement, take that combination for what it’s worth: a pretty good sign that it’s time to walk away.
Author: Ryan and Amanda Leak
If I’m honest, I spent a good chunk of my adult dating life trying to make toxic relationships work. I could see the issues, the inevitable end-date, but I chose to ignore them in an effort to push on and push past the problems. But the truth is, once you spot one of these seven telltale signs he’s not The One for you, there’s only one thing left to do—and that’s pull the plug.
1. You don’t trust him. Whether you caught him in a lie or 10, or your instincts are setting off alarm bells every time he offers a new excuse for why he was late, there’s just something about this guy that breeds distrust deep in your gut. If you can’t trust what he says or does 99 percent of the time—we can make allowances for white lies used to plan surprise birthday parties or whisk you away on romantic weekend getaways—he’s not the guy for you.
2. You spend more time thinking about what’s wrong with him than what you like about him. No guy bats 1,000. Even the right guy will sometimes forget what you tell him, won’t always show his appreciation, and will say the wrong things. But if all you can focus on are this man’s flaws, it’s time to move on to someone whose missteps you’re able to accept.
3. When it comes to the big things, you have opposite opinions. Turning a blind eye to the fact that he’s an atheist while you believe in God, or that you envision a family of four while he desires to go kid-free, isn’t an effective solution for a long-term relationship. Yes, you can overcome small differences—and can even compromise on some larger issues—but there are just some things where a difference in opinion equals a deal-breaker.
4. Sex with him is just OK. Some couples go through temporary sex ruts, but what I’m referring to is a sex life so stunted it could put you to sleep paired with a guy who refuses to address your concerns, listen to your desires, and meet your needs. A guy who’s willing to work on things in and out of the bedroom to bring you pleasure is a keeper; one who cares only for his own orgasms or refuses to change between the sheets is not.
5. He’s super fun to be with—when you’re in the same room. You have a blast when you’re together, but this guy all but forgets your name when you’re apart. He doesn’t make an effort to see you, nor does he communicate while he’s away. A man who’s worth your time will make the time for you in return.
6. You don’t consider him a friend.
I believe it’s important to have some element of true friendship in a relationship. If you wouldn’t even be friends with the guy you’re seeing, why should you be dating him? There’s gotta be more than just great sexual chemistry. I’m not saying he has to be your best friend; I’m saying, there’s gotta be a basis of some kind of friendship somewhere.
7. He’s emotionally unavailable.
There’s no way around this one. Dating someone who is emotionally unavailable is like dating someone wearing a suit of armor made of mirrors — you try to see in, but all you see is yourself staring sadly back. Trust me on this one, you want someone who can open up to you. Someone who’s not afraid to cry in front of you when things get really rough. Someone who is ready to start a new chapter in their lives with you. If he can’t do those things, he’s not emotionally ready, and your relationship is doomed.
What are some other signs he’s not The One? Have you ever experienced one of the signs above?
PHOTOS: COURTESY PHOTO
Subconscious mind is that part of the brain that functions 24/7, but we essentially do not notice it. It holds a plethora of information that we may come across just once, but our brain processes it in our subconscious state of mind. This part of the brain does wonders to those who know precisely how to use it in a positive way. Don’t be wary of its power to bring changes in your life.
The Invisible Hand
There are billions of people in this world and all are different in one way or the other. However, there are areas where people also familiarize others. For instance, some people look similar, some study the same discipline, some are financially equivalent, and some struggle for similar desires and ambitions. You can find many people who are similar in every manner yet lead totally different lives.
It’s not hard to find two or more people who possess the same academic qualification, intelligence level, and goals in life. Nevertheless, the lives of each are likely to be significantly different from the rest of the people in the group. The underlying reasons behind variations in lifestyle and success/failure can be numerous. For instance, their social network, financial background, external stimuli or opportunities, luck, physical appearance, or maybe an invisible hand could be the reason.
One thing that is common in almost every successful person is his/her belief. They empower themselves with self-control, motivation, willpower, and discipline. Believing that you are entitled to success is not wrong if you keep working hard to achieve success. Wealth, fame, position, and peace of mind cannot be gifted to you, so you must admit that internal drive to achieve your goals is one big factor that can make your dreams come true.
Your subconscious mind is that powerful internal drive!
In order to use your subconscious mind and to make the most of its incredible power, you must know how to train your subconscious mind. Though it may be a bit challenging in the very beginning, you will develop the habit of working as per the required conditions.
The first step is to train your subconscious mind to solve problems. This is basically an attempt to improve your analytical skills. Whenever confronted with a problem which you cannot figure out the possible solution to, let your subconscious mind assume your conscious mind’s responsibility. All you need to do is to think about the problem for a while. You can also write a problem statement and keep reviewing it for a few minutes.
Instill the thought that you want your subconscious mind to derive out the possible solution to the problem. Now stop thinking about the problem altogether and just continue with routine tasks. A solution will eventually click in your mind within a few days; try it as it is highly likely to work out for you. This is how your subconscious mind helps you in resolving problems.
You can also go the other way around. Review the problem, think about alternative solutions, evaluate and weigh each one of them in terms of their respective pros and cons. Now stop thinking about it until your subconscious mind processes all alternatives to bring out the best option for you. Your analytical skills improve over time and with use.
Meditation holds importance with reference to training your subconscious mind. Get inspired by new beliefs, think about new ideas, and learn to believe in yourself. Meditation will help you achieve desired levels of mental focus and concentration so that you can gain cognitive power. It also enables you to enjoy the present, while planning for the future.
Repeated visualization is extremely effective in training your subconscious mind to enable you to accomplish targets. Set exciting goals, be passionate about them, and imagine the end objective on frequent basis like thrice a day or so. Your mind will then accept the visualization as a part of reality and you will start working to achieve the set goals.
Empowered by sensitivity? It sounds strange doesn’t it? Sort of ironic, contradictory, even mutually exclusive.
How can you be empowered by something so soft, subtle and delicate, in a world full of hard, overpowering and loud people? Indeed, many of us Empaths get trampled, used, thrown around, and taken advantage of. But we have a secret.
Deep down inside, beyond the veil of our superficial appearances, we harbor something quiet, but powerful. Our gifts don’t dominate, tyrannize or overthrow people, but that doesn’t detract from their strength, or usefulness. If anything, our powerful but subtle gifts benefit us more in the long term, allowing us to gather emotional, psychological and physical information from our surroundings that is often inaccessible and undisclosed to the average, unreceptive mind.
While we can’t bully, back-stab or use brute force, we can heal, guide, protect and deeply understand the lives of the people around us. In essence, we can gather immense amounts of knowledge. And knowledge, as they say, is power.
If you would like to discover whether you are an Empath, keep reading. Also, if you would like to discover what type of Empath you are, you will discover the 10 types at the end of this article.
Are You An Empath?
If you are an Empath, you will experience a combination of some or all of the following symptoms:
- You absorb other people’s emotions like a sponge, carrying them as your own.
- When someone close to you is physically ill, you can feel this as physical pains in your body.
- You often suffer from physical or mental fatigue and tiredness.
- You find Solitude immensely refreshing, and you require it to “recharge”.
- You often experience many mood swings or emotional states throughout the day.
- Witnessing violence or cruelty is unbearable to you.
- You are a very good listener.
- People often come to you with their problems.
- Animals and children are attracted to you.
- You are caring and nurturing by nature.
- You are hyper-aware of the physical environment, e.g. to smell, taste, sight, touch, hearing, etc.
- You can’t stand interpersonal conflict.
- Crowded places are very overwhelming and draining to you.
10 Types Of Empaths
While being an Empath can have its many positives and benefits, it can also weigh us down heavily with confusion, disorientation and anxiety. That is why it’s important to put a name to what we individually experience to better understand ourselves, and identify others who share the same abilities as us.
For this reason, I have included below a list, and small description, of each type ofEmpath. By understanding who you are, what gifts you possess and where you stand in life, you will be able to begin the path of Involution.
This is usually defined by the ability to simply know something needs to be done, or is true or misleading, without having any basis in logic or reason. Often this type of Empath will just “know” when something is right to do, or not, or when someone is lying or hiding something.
Emotionally Receptive Empath
Most Empaths are emotionally receptive, and can physically and emotionally feel the emotions from other people before they are even expressed.
Physically Receptive Empath
Many Empaths are also physically receptive to other people’s illnesses and bodily pains. This often manifests itself in the Empath’s own body, and can be an especially useful skill in healing.
This type of Empath can hear, feel and interact with animals.
This type of Empath can communicate with plants, being able to receive physical and emotional signals.
The Geomantic Empath can read the energy and signals transmitted by the earth. Many are able to feel/predict natural disasters before they occur.
This type of Empath can either see, hear, feel (or a combination of these elements) spirits, usually from deceased individuals.
This manifests itself as the ability to receive information, energy and impressions from physical objects, e.g. photographs, clothing, jewelry, utensils, etc.
This type of Empath can feel the occurrence of an event or situation before it actually happens. This is usually manifested in dreams, or as physical/emotional sensations, for instance: dread, anxiety, or excitement.
The ability to accurately read a person’s unexpressed thoughts is the main defining feature of the Telepathic Empath.
Being an Empath can be difficult and confusing, but with awareness of your gifts and abilities, you can refine them and use them to guide, heal and protect yourself and the people you love.
My hopes are that the information within this article can continue to make ripples within your life. Please share with me any stories or experiences you have below. This will help all of us broaden our knowledge and understanding of what it is to be an Empath!
Source: Loner Wolf
He instructed me to strip, to crawl on the floor and fellate him.
I texted him as soon as I woke up.
“What do you want me to wear today?”
I brushed my teeth and washed my face while I waited for him to text me back.
“White button-down shirt. Tuck it in. Your jeans. Flats. Put your hair in a ponytail. Send me a photo.”
I dressed as instructed, then stood before the wall-length mirror in my apartment’s hallway. Smiling into the mirror, I snapped a photo on my iPhone and sent it to Ben*.
Thirty seconds later, a text message: “Very nice.” Then I knew I could leave for work.
Ben wasn’t abusive. I wasn’t being hurt, nor was I unhappy. We were in a dominant/submissive relationship — or playing at one, anyway — and following his orders got me unbelievably turned on.
Ben cheated on his girlfriend, Rachel, with me; he lied about going on a break with her for me. I was so upset when I found out he lied that I emailed her and told her he’d been cheating. But I haven’t been totally forthcoming about the nature of our relationship. Ben and I weren’t just friends who became attracted to each other; we were both extremely interested in exploring sexual roles as a dom (him) and a sub (me).
Ben cheated on his girlfriend with me, I can now clearly see, because he has strong, natural impulses to dominate a woman in bed. And his girlfriend, Rachel, wouldn’t let him. When we were just close friends, Ben would gripe to me about how he and Rachel rarely had sex.
As time passed, Ben and I talked frequently over IM or over the phone, and flirted with each other more and more. It’s not exactly a secret that I have a fetish about being spanked and at some point — clearly crossing the line of what was appropriate for a guy with a girlfriend and his cute single friend to be discussing — Ben told me he loved spanking women.
He loved it. He loved all types of light, sexual domination play — tying women up, using his paddle, hair-pulling — and Rachel wasn’t into any of that. And when it came to outside-of-bed stuff, Ben described Rachel as resisting his natural inclination toward leadership.
She didn’t particularly like him being protective toward her and he said they bickered constantly. So you can see why I saw an “in” here.
I should be clear, though: Ben wasn’t the first guy I’d come across who professed a liking for domination play. My first serious high school boyfriend was actually the one who flipped the pervert switch, making me realize that getting spanked turned me on. My boyfriends freshman and sophomore year of college both spanked me. And this other guy I dated in college actually took me to a “spanking club” in New York City where he rented a paddle and spanked me in public.
Then I dated Jason* after college and, through my relationship with him, I learned that it wasn’t just spanking that turned me on — it was dominance.
Jason was over six-feet-tall, with a strong and sturdily built. He had a naturally dominant personality. He could be fearless and decisive. He could be a leader. He could be stern and take charge when he needed to. He was protective. And he spanked me and dominated me in bed all the time, of course. But outside of bed, which was starting to feel like catnip in this new, weird way, I always felt “safe” with him because of the way he took charge.
It didn’t work out with Jason for other reasons, but he left me with 100 questions: I’m a feminist. Why do I like this so much? Isn’t this wrong? How can I be a good feminist and still like a man taking charge outside the bedroom?
It was 2006 around this time, so of course I spent a lot of time on Google looking for the answers. By searching terms like “spanking” and “domination,” I discovered many women online who wrote blogs sharing the same desires I held. They had college degrees, jobs, made their own money, but they were sexually attracted to men who dominated them both inside the bedroom and outside.
(Some of these women are what’s called “domestic discipline” arrangements, which have a lot of Christian influences and would take a long time to explain.) I studied these women for over a year and published an article called “Slap Happy” in the feminist/pop culture magazine Bitchabout them. (“Slap Happy” cannot be found online, but writer Amanda Marcotte at the feminist blog Pandagon wrote about it. And my article was included on the syllabus for a Rutgers University Human Sexuality class.)
I can’t explain to you how all-consumingly liberating it felt to know it wasn’t just me who wanted this. This is something hundreds of other women and men love, I thought. This is a part of me and my sexuality that I can be honest about.
I was pretty sure I didn’t want to be dominated by a man all the time like these women; though the idea of domination “play” some of the time, like Jason and I had engaged in, aroused me more than I had ever felt before.
Back to Ben: when he revealed to me that he got off from being dominant, I felt like I’d found the golden ticket. We not only shared the same kink but the same intensity for it. Ben wanted dominance and submission “play,” but all the time? Seriously? Where had he been all my life?
But because Ben was still dating Rachel, we didn’t do anything about this for a long time. We flirted for months and months, occasionally talking about our mutual love of spanking and domination, but in the one very intense month after he said he wanted to break up with Rachel to be with me, domination and submission “play” consumed us. First musing about it. Then doing it over IM, email, phone and text message.
Much of the non-sexual domination “play” with Ben was just a shift of our regular friendship: We’d talk about the stuff we’d usually talk about, but he would take a more dominant role, sternly issuing instructions. For example, I had a co-worker who was experiencing some difficulties, and being the naturally hyper-anxious person that I am I’d fret all the time about the fate of her job.
“Don’t worry about her; it’s not your responsibility. Worry about yourself,” he would say. And I would follow his instructions.
But there was the more obvious domination “play” component: As part of our “play,” I would ask him permission to do lots of things. I told him about all the kinds of bras and panties in my drawers, and each morning he’d tell me which ones to wear, which I would send him in a photo.
I would ask him how to dress each morning. I would ask him if I could watch a movie or if I had to work on writing a freelance article more. If I “disobeyed” him during this sexy-talk “play,” he would tell me over the phone or over IM how he would “punish” me.
But it was the sexual domination that was most amazing to me. Even though we physically had not been intimate with each other yet because of his girlfriend, we had phone sex with each other frequently where he’d verbally explain to me how he was going to spank me.
And much of our IM chats and emails were dirty talk about future spanking “punishments” to come: He would promise I’d be spanked 10 times for this or that infraction. He’d also tell me whether he was going to spank me with his hands or with his paddle. And, of course, we would talk dirty at length about having intercourse. Through all of this, he wanted me to call him “sir.”
Basically, Ben was one kinky motherf*cker.
For the first few weeks, I was horny constantly. And I mean constantly. Never before in my life have I experienced such weeks-long periods of horniness. One weekend, I couldn’t handle the horniness anymore and slept with two different guys and made out with a third. And trust me, I’d never done that before. I really felt like my sexuality had awakened and been released, roaring from the gate.
All the buildup actually raised my expectations too much, because the one and only time Ben and I were physically intimate with each other, it was a bit of a disappointment. Oh yes, he was sexually dominant: He instructed me to strip, to crawl on the floor and fellate him, and he spanked me with the paddle he kept in his closet.
But something about him seemed skittish, like he wasn’t giving 100 percent. I remember thinking, Where’s the guy who is a marvelous dirty-talker? The deflation could have been because Ben was cheating on Rachel with me; however, I got the sense that Ben liked talking about dom/sub more than actually doing it.
I never got to that find out: A week or so later, everything with Ben crashed and burned. It was messy, it was bad, and it was a horrible time in my life. (It’s not necessarily worth repeating and if you must, you can read about it here.)
My spectacular crash-and-burn at a dom/sub relationship, even though it was messy, was educational in ways I never could have imagined. I now see that what Ben and I had wasn’t aromance and we had no foundation to sustain a relationship beyond sex. That was just a disaster waiting to happen.
But I also realize now that Ben and I didn’t know what we were doing and we didn’t have the foundation of trust that a dom/sub relationship needs. Not “should have,” but “needs.” With no exceptions.
I gave Ben trust that he had not earned yet. When he would instruct me to stop worrying about my co-worker, I would listen, but really Ben had done nothing to prove he was worthy of this trust. In fact, if anything, he was negatively trustworthy for not having ended his relationship with Rachel yet. It was my fault for trusting a man who wasn’t trustworthy and I take full responsibility for that.
I also learned that when it comes to sex, sometimes people like talking about stuff more than they like doing it. They think they want it. They say they want it. But — and this is where needing to be able to trust someone’s word comes in — they’re afraid to fully experience what all their sexual impulses are telling them.
Maybe it’s because it’s scary to them. Maybe it’s because it’s so taboo. I don’t really know; I just know that Ben turned out to be that person while I was not.
I’m glad I have nothing whatsoever to do with Ben anymore, but I’m kind of bummed my first foray into a dom/sub relationship didn’t work out. I really would have loved it. Now, I’m in a loving, committed relationship with the man I’m going to marry and we have a happy sex life, but he doesn’t share the same desire for dom/sub “play” that I have.
But these days, given how I had such a negative experience with domination the first time, I’m not eager to repeat it.
Written by Jessica Wakeman.
Introducing the most powerful diagnostic equipment in the world – The Limitless Brain!’
By Daniel Rechnitzer
It is the 1st of January 2017, New Year’s day. I sit and reflect on the year gone by. I am in awe of what has transpired around the world – industries have gone through major flux, having to reach new levels of accountability. But one industry stands tall… the coaching industry. It, too, has undergone massive transformation, like an adult becoming wiser and learning who they really are, learning what is true.
A grin stretches across my face, as I am reminded of my own journey, when I began to discover all that I am….
It was the time I first saw Whole-Brain Intelligence in action, when I learned what is truly possible for us. It was June 1997; I had just sat down to relax, when I was startled by the phone ringing. It was a dear friend with an invitation not to be missed. He had been telling me about a couple who had “abilities”: They could see things about a person, know who they were at their core. They were “amazing,” he said… and they were in town that night!
I decided to embark on this adventure and head out to meet them, to see what was behind these stories. I am so glad I did.
It was 7:00 p.m. – we had arrived on time. The room was filled with people. An electricity was in the air. Everyone was smiling. It was so contagious that I couldn’t help smiling, too.
I was invited by an older woman to experience a treatment. She was the one my friend had told me about. How could I refuse a firsthand glimpse of what these people were capable?
I lay down on the massage table, not knowing what to expect. She needed to calm me, as I was top-heavy with adrenalin and fear. She spoke softly and calmly, having me feel safe and, finally, at ease.
Seated behind me, she gently placed her hands upon my head. She then began talking, remarking about things that were incredibly familiar to me. We had only just met moments before, yet she began recounting my entire life story, revealing to me the reasons why I was feeling stuck in my life, why my back was aching and why I was avoiding a deeper commitment in my relationships. Incredibly, it was all true – every word she uttered.
I was flabbergasted. As I said, we had barely just met. So how could she be speaking to me, as though she had participated in every moment of my life – like she had been watching me since birth? How was she doing this? Was this even possible?
It was as if she had tapped into the truth about my life: who I was, how I was living, what my struggles were, all my key frustrations and – best of all – she provided the answers to resolving them.
She told me more about how I was feeling about my parents, about university, and how I was being particularly self-destructive in my life. She gave me radical insights, answers to questions that had bothered me for months. It all seemed to come so easily to her; I was amazed, to say the least. It felt like she knew more about me than I did.
But what was particularly startling for me was how she spoke. She wasn’t using her own words. They were, word-for-word, my words, my very precise sentence structure! And she verbalized my very thoughts, using my very own phrasing! Needless to say, a paradigm was collapsing.
Could it be that my thoughts were no longer under lock and key? How was she accessing my mind? All this time, I had thought my thoughts were private, hidden from view. Clearly, I was mistaken!
What I had just experienced was extraordinary. My father had often told me about a phenomenon called Universal Intelligence (Ui); but to be faced with it like this, out of the blue… what a mind-blowing experience! My back was healed. I had clarity and certainty about my life. I had received answers to all my questions; but, most importantly, something more expansive had occurred. I was shown the truth, a new paradigm, where answers on any topic could be accessed.
Everything changed from this point on. How could it not?!
I began a long and deep search into my very nature, our nature as human beings. My adventure took me to learning more about these skills, the truth about enlightenment, how our negative beliefs hold us back and what really creates illness in the body. My adventure also took me to learning and practicing these skills for myself – living them, walking the talk every step of the way.
Best of all, my adventure took me to meeting my wife Sonja – beautiful inside and out – and, together, we were able to take this realm of Whole-Brain Intelligence to a profound new level. We went through hardships and massive learning curves to eventually become experts in this field. We started teaching others this amazing gift. We ran workshops and mentored people. Everything was focused around attaining answers through the mind, using it like an antenna to reach Universal Intelligence. Our teachings later got titled “Becoming ALL-KNOWING.”
We learned so much about what is real and how our belief systems distort the truth like an opposite reality, bringing emptiness instead of fulfillment. We were shown through this space that Whole-Brain Intelligence is a unique configuration of the brain, currently quite rare and, in fact, the epitome of brain function. It is where both hemispheres of the brain begin resonating in unison to bring in information beyond what people already know. Like an antenna, the brain actually perceives frequencies of information – similar to a radio picking up signals – but from everything: people, places, situations and, most importantly, a sublime consciousness within, the SuperConscious.
Our “intuition,” as people call it – our sixth sense – turned out to be another way to describe Whole-Brain Intelligence. Where our five physical senses perceive our physical reality, it is our sixth sense, using Whole-Brain Intelligence, that perceives a more subtle reality, thought waves – an endless sea of limitless genius.
Inspiration, our greatest insights, our greatest ideas and wisdom, all enter via this space through a still mind. True genius is accessed via Whole-Brain Intelligence, not from us but through us.
We realized a profound misunderstanding had occurred across humanity – our brain was not stand-alone at all; rather, it can be compared to wireless Internet, connecting everyone and everything. It is just that we were not taught this in school. Thus, leading us to draw only upon a stand-alone brain – and our brain can only do what we expect of it.
We then discovered the reason so few people were accessing it at will. It was because they were not (yet) aware that there was a key – a secret ingredient to accessing Whole-Brain intelligence. It is still rare, difficult to find in today’s society; but, in truth, something we can all access when taught how. The key is pure self-belief. It unlocks the doorway to the mind, expanding beyond what is known to us, opening the mind to unlimited creativity and knowledge – infinity personified!
We have all had many experiences with Whole-Brain Intelligence: the times we walk into a room and feel the energy there, the waves of excitement we feel wash over us in a sports arena, the times we pick up on anger when entering a situation, and the very common experience of thinking of someone moments before they phone us. All of these occurrences are brought to us via Whole-Brain Intelligence. Just like breadcrumbs, these experiences are leading us to vital truths, to something powerful and undeniable.
It has been our belief at the subconscious level – including societal belief systems – that have hidden this Whole-Brain truth from us. Like a shroud cloaking the truth, our beliefs have served to maintain our identity, the non-truth. But underneath these beliefs, as you learn to pierce the veil, the universal truth awaits: that we in fact are ALL-KNOWING.
Our Whole-Brain Intelligence gives us the unique ability to pierce the veil of what seems real, giving us clarity as to what actually is real – to read between the lines and see the hidden truths. Life mimics our thought patterns. Our wellbeing reflects our innermost thoughts, our outer universe reflects our innermost universe, and so on. It is through Whole-Brain Intelligence that we get to see behind the scenes to the thoughts buried deep, the thoughts that are at the root cause of our life experiences. For example, our marriage breakdowns, our financial struggles, illness and disease, the success or failure of our business ventures, even who we are as a species.
So I delved deeper, discovering that underpinning our Whole-Brain Intelligence, essentially linking all human beings, is a field of frequencies… like a melting pot of knowledge and wisdom, of thoughts and intelligence – both, known and yet-to-be discovered. Like ripples over a still pond, this field relays information and insights to those using Whole-Brain Intelligence, gifting them with knowledge, wisdom and guidance.
Contained within this field are all the answers: how to experience an all-natural, pain-free birth, how to move someone from depression to being on purpose in life, how to grow people from living a mediocre life to experiencing their own greatness/full potential in every moment, etc. It is abundant in wisdom, truth and a myriad of ways to protect and grow our future.
The ability to draw on this field gives rise to helping people in a profound new way. The truth really does lie within; and we now know how to access it, share it and grow from it.
This field gives access to tapping into a person’s core being. The answers to entire life-journeys lay hidden beneath layers of self-doubt; but Whole-Brain Intelligence is the key to unearthing these answers. It spawns a new frontier of coaches and a new level of personal development, as we train people to Become ALL-KNOWING. Practitioners are no longer reliant merely on their thinking minds. Instead, they are receiving guidance from intelligence running through and connecting with all of us. They are using their SuperConscious mind to retrieve these answers. Some feel this information; others see pictures, colors or faces. Some hear the words coming through; others receive this guidance using all of their senses.
A profound level of communication occurs, multi-sensory and universal in nature.
A radical notion – a practitioner simply holds an intention to uncover the truth about a situation to uncover the perfect path forward. The answers arrive almost immediately. They do not need to be thought about or considered. They already exist, waiting to be accessed.
Coaching people in this way blew us away. The answers no longer come from us, but through us. One becomes a messenger speaking in the client’s language, using their words, their truth; bringing it from their SuperConscious self to their waking, conscious mind. It is somewhat like having Google as your brain, accessing anything – in this case, the client’s life story, belief systems and ultimate perfect path.
Whole-Brain Intelligence is part of our nature. We are all journeying towards it, over time. Exactly how long it takes is up to us. At first, it can be confronting to learn of something so advanced and effective, yet so simple. But when we see ourselves as deserving and worthy, as we let in this simple truth, we wonder how we ever did without it.
If you could see into a person’s heart, what holds them back and what sets them free, would you wait to access it, or would you move mountains to embrace it? We embraced it, and we have never looked back.
Walking your truth is the greatest gift you can ever give your clients… and yourself!
Daniel Rechnitzer is the Author of “The ALL KNOWING Diary” a treasure map to ALL KNOWING. Like an ancient manuscript, it reveals timeless wisdom and priceless truths, teaching you how to access your ALL KNOWING Brain
Karma: that word that gets thrown around a lot.
People talk about “good” karma versus “bad” karma, or “your” karma versus “mine.”
But despite the term’s popularity, it seems like everybody has a different idea about what it actually means. If karma is truly one of the Buddha’s most important teachings, as he himself repeatedly emphasized, then to follow in his footsteps, we need to be clear about its definition.
The Problems with “Agricultural” Karma
Probably one of the most popular misunderstandings about Buddhist Karma is the idea that everything that happens to us is our karma. If we win the lottery or have an attractive partner, it’s because we performed good deeds in the past—we have “good” karma. If we get hit by a truck or our partner cheats on us, it’s because we misbehaved and have “bad” karma. And, of course, what we do now will determine our future results. Let’s just call this the agricultural view of karma: we reap what we sow.
So, what’s wrong with this idea? Well, whether we’re Buddhist or not, it creates lots of intellectual problems.
The first is that believing we reap what we sow simply seems to contradict a great deal of our experience. We act with kindness, maybe dropping a few coins into a homeless man’s can, only to have him call us a cheap yuppie. Or our chronically underperforming co-worker who spends most of the time surfing Facebook and pilfering office supplies gets a promotion.
In other words, the wicked very often seem to prosper, even thrive, while the good seem to get a goodly portion of crap.
Why, for example, do innocent infants die? They’ve barely had enough time to learn how to digest food properly, let alone perform some wicked deed. (Of course, we need to leave Stewie from Family Guy out of this equation, as well as the idea of the infant proposed by famous psychoanalyst Melanie Klein, who viewed it as a viscous and greedy succubus bent on completely draining the mother of her vital energy.)
I’m sure you’ve already come up with the answer: we must be dealing with more than one lifetime. In fact, the claim is that we have an infinite number of lives extending into the past. With this explanation, all the rewards and atrocities of life fit together like a skillful game of Tetris. We have an account for why infants die, or why we can be completely loving and faithful to our partner, only to end up alone; it’s just our karmic comeuppance from cheating in a previous life.
Sure, we still might feel unhappy because our partner is now dating a princess from Bhutan, but at least we can mourn with a sense of ease, knowing there is some order to events in the universe, and that these personal painful events are just the fruits of old, bad karma. We can also rest easy because in the future, we’ll also reap the rewards of our fidelity—it just might take time.
If we stop here, then all is well.
However, if we push a little further beyond this logical seal, then we confront what we call “the administrative nightmare.” How can all those good and bad deeds possibly be kept track of? And not just in one lifetime, but across infinite lifetimes? What conceivable cosmic ledger could account for all those transactions? It seems like an administrative impossibility to coordinate that vast amount of information and organize events so everything unfolds correctly, and justice gets served to the right people, at the right time, in just the right way. The organizational details are so complex that it leads people to say that karma is some infinitely subtle, ineffable cosmic order, inaccessible to even the most sophisticated minds.
An even bigger problem is that, with infinite lifetimes, absolutely everyone would have enough karma for nearly anything to happen to them. Put it this way: we all have everything coming.
The irony is that this view of karma ends up undermining its original purpose of explaining an individual’s unique, personal history.
Even if we manage to somehow dismiss these logical problems, we’re left with one that chafes at the heart of Buddhism. This view of karma presupposes an abiding self that’s responsible for these events, whereas the Buddha’s central message was the radical proposal that there is no self (anattā). The agricultural view of karma rests on there being some sort of enduring “you” (call it a self, soul, mind-stream, or whatever) who is responsible for what “you” did in the past, and a “you” who will benefit or be cursed in the future.
This view of karma contributes to acting in self-cherishing, ego-reinforcing ways. In other words, it supports the very self-illusion that the Buddha considered the root of our suffering.
Karma as Intention
What did the Buddha really mean by karma? The answer is simple: intention.
He said, “Intention, I tell you, is karma. Intending, one does karma by way of body, speech, and intellect.” Defining karma in this way, the Buddha departed radically from all previous thinking about karma.
In the traditional Brahmanical culture of India, karma generally referred to action. Do good deeds, and the universe will reward you in turn. But by redefining karma as the intentions behind one’s actions, the Buddha was pointing to a deeper truth: the kinds of intentions we habitually entertain—whether they’re generous and loving, or selfish and aversive—will determine the kind of mental space we inhabit. We can’t fully control whether our dog runs away, or whether our partner cheats on us, but we do have a say in what kind of person meets those events.
Karma as intention was the central message the Buddha emphasized over and over. The more any acts of body, speech, or mind are motivated by poisonous intentions such as greed and hatred, the more toxic we become, and the more we suffer, no matter what happens to us externally. The reverse is also true: intentions of compassion and wisdom shape us into beings with greater patience, who are less susceptible to suffering, no matter what happens to us externally.
To put it succinctly: Buddhist karma is not about what happens to you, but who it happens to.
Yes, the Wicked can Prosper
The Buddha’s focus on intention rather than actions and external circumstances allows us to fully acknowledge that the wicked can prosper, and that selfish behavior can bring a person great fortune and power. However, the mental state of such a person surrounded by luxury is a whole different matter. This also means that acting with compassionate intentions won’t magically prevent us from confronting the slings and arrows of life’s misfortune.
But acting out of wholesome intentions opens up the possibility of becoming a person who encounters these challenges with less grumpiness and greater ease. We have exemplars of this possibility in our great spiritual luminaries, such as the Dalai Lama and Thich Nhat Hahn. The fruit of their karma was not the atrocities they were victims of, but the equanimity and active compassion they show in the face of such extreme oppression and violence.
So too, getting sick is not the result of one’s bad karma. People grow old, experience the pain of illness, and eventually die. The Buddha never said you could plant the right karmic seeds to avoid any of these. They’re simply not optional.
However, whether or not we suffer when confronted by them is entirely up to us.
Not Everything is your Karma
In a sense, it’s true that karma means we reap what we sow. The only difference is that we’re sowing in the furrows of the mind, and less so in actual fields in the physical world.
That’s not to say our actions don’t have consequences. If we go around smiling at people, we’ll likely be smiled at in return. If we go around slapping people, we’re sure to get slapped. Yet, the ultimate outcome of our behavior is somewhat unpredictable. We could smile at a stranger, only to have them beat us up in return.
This unpredictability happens because there are other levels of causality working in the universe.
Not everything is our karma.
The Buddha actually taught about these other levels of causality quite explicitly in what are called the five Niyāmas. It’s worth going through them briefly. Here, we give them a modern twist.
The first level of causality is called the Utu Niyāma, or the level of physics and chemistry.
The second level is known as Bīja Niyāma, or biological causality. This new level is necessary because living organisms are more complex than just their physical and chemical constituents.
Continuing up the ladder of emergent complexity, we see that some living organisms have nervous systems and minds, which can’t be fully understood by just looking at the previous two levels of Utu and Bija Niyāma. Therefore, the Buddha talked about the Citta Niyāma, or psychological causality.
Now, some minds have a more hard-wired relationship with the previous levels. Take a lizard, for example. It behaves fairly predictably, based on tight wiring between chemical signals and genetic codes. We will never train a lizard to fetch a newspaper. Other minds, such as those of dogs and horses, have greater flexibility. Yet, teaching a dog to fetch the newspaper depends on an outside stimulus—specifically, our persistent efforts. The behavior doesn’t come entirely from inside the dog’s mind. And in fact, there may be only one animal on this planet with “self-forming” minds: humans. For us, we have to identify another level of causality: karmic or intentional causality, known as the Kamma Niyāma.
Kamma Niyāma opens a space for reflexivity, self-organization, and changing ingrained habits of body, speech, and mind. The preciousness of human life rests in this potential. Karmic causality, in other words, is a whole new level of causality in the universe, allowing us the chance to awaken to the highest level, called Dhamma Niyāma, or Ultimate Reality.
Dhamma Niyāma describes the absolute, indivisible reality, the universe in its entirety. All divisions from these heights are products of a mind struggling to grasp the ultimate. We build conceptual models to try to understand this level, and some models are certainly better than others. If that weren’t the case, the Buddha wouldn’t have bothered teaching. But at this level, all models are equally empty.
To say that everything is our karma is to usurp this vast spectrum of causality into a singular, self-centered mind.
When we realize the complexity we’re dealing with, we no longer see events as a result of karma, but rather as the product of certain physical causes and conditions. We also no longer fall prey to magical thinking, believing, for example, that by giving away money and being nice, we will get money in return and be showered with niceness.
Instead, we realize that when we replace hatred with compassion, or greed with generosity, those intentions will shape the type of being we become, whether rich or poor.
Authors: Culadasa and Matthew Immergut
Editor: Emily Bartran
Photo: Hartwig HKD/Flickr
Source: Elephant Journal
Did you know that just because you are a beautiful blonde size 2 today does not mean that you would be considered beautiful in times past? Much like fashion trends, the perception of beauty has consistently changed over the course of centuries, sometimes for the better, and unfortunately, sometimes for the worse. One thing, however, that will never change is the fact that we will all strive to fit in with what is considered attractive as this is part of human nature.
The art of fitting in has changed drastically from one decade to the next. Don’t believe us? Think back to a time when MC Hammer pants and mullets were all the rage. Trends change for a variety of reasons, most of which leave us looking back at our former selves with laughter. What exactly were we thinking with that floral pantsuit or sequined leotard?
Changes in beauty can be dramatic over time. How has the perception of beauty changed over the past 60 years? How has it changed over the past 600 years? Thanks to a lack of art to depict people’s fashion and features, there is little known about fashion prior to the Renaissance Era. However, we do know what has happened with trends ever since. Here’s a look at 10 ways our perception of beauty has changed over time starting with an era where plump was en vogue.
The Renaissance Era
The Renaissance Era lasted from the 1400′s well into the 1500′s and was a time in which people had a different view on beauty than most of the eras that followed it, especially in terms of the ideal body type. According to much of the artwork of the era, women that had extra fat and wider hips were considered to be the most beautiful. In most of these paintings from the era, fuller figured women were shown in settings where they were courted by dashing and handsome men.
Blonde hair also became a big trend during the Renaissance, as colors started to move away from darker hues, making lighter and brighter colors all the rage. Makeup during this era was extremely pale, but lips were meant to be bright red. Clothing was not very popular, at least according to the paintings of the time. Large dresses were trendy for those who did opt for fashionable clothes, and typically featured oversized shoulders and sleeves that looked like small puffy balloons.
#9 – The Victorian Era
The Victorian Era, between the mid 1800’s and the rest of the century, saw a complete reversal from the beauty standards of the Renaissance in terms of body types. In the Victorian Era, slim waists were all the rage, to the point where it became a danger. It was a contest to have the smallest waistline, with clothing that could help women reduce their waist down to 12 inches. The clothes were constricting to the point where breathing was a chore, causing some women to even break their ribs in the process.
In addition to small waists, women also wanted to make their behinds look larger than ever before, which was better accentuated by such small waists. Petticoats and bustles became popular, which made for an enhanced look in the rear. Colors were not as bright as they were in the Renaissance Era either, calling for bolder and darker colors. These trends in style went completely against the religious views at the time, which was said to be a work of evil.
#8 – The Roaring Twenties
The Roaring Twenties came after the end of the First World War, and started a brand new trend in beauty that was a welcome change from the Victorian Era in terms of comfort. Women no longer had to have tiny waists and large posteriors to fit in anymore, as concealing womanly curves was more common. Short dresses in the flapper style were a lot more comfortable (and popular) than the long dresses from the Victorian Era.
Corsets were still popular, but were far from being as lethal as they were elastic with an extra give that was far from dangerous as it was used to conceal any bumps around the waist. The other big beauty trend was the bob hairstyle, which was combined with pale skin and thin eyebrows to achieve the perfect look at the time. Before the 1920’s, makeup styles were seen as low class, but everything changed during the Prohibition Era when everyone seemingly came together in stylized fashion to find illegal ways to drink together.
#7 – The Golden Age
The Golden Age was named as such for the fact that it was the Golden Age in Hollywood. This era spanned from the end of the Roaring Twenties to the end of the Second World War. The appearance of new celebrities on the screen made women more self-conscious than ever before with a strong desire to look like the stars they saw on the silver screen. Women took to the gym to work on their bodies, making muscles the new trend in body beauty.
Some of the most notable fashion designers of all time came to prominence in this era known for its padded bras to help enhance appearances for a starlet look. As long hair grew more popular, the bobs of the 20’s were grown out without preference to a single color of hair, as there were redhead, brunette and blonde stars. Makeup also became more feminine and didn’t have many layers, as natural beauty was more celebrated in this time.
#6 – Mid-Century
The 1950’s marked the middle of the century, a time where the World Wars were finally over and beauty changed yet again. The ideal body type was no longer a muscular one, but instead one with curves and feminine appeal. A lot of this had to do with the emergence of Marilyn Monroe; who would become the symbol of beauty in the era. Marilyn was the epitome of the hourglass figure which you can still see is popular today.
The ideals of the time were very conservative, so women dressed the part. It was a common belief in society that women should not leave the house without looking perfect from head to toe. Some of the fashion trends included button down sweaters and other long dresses that showed very little flesh. Short hair was back in style, but curly styles were trendier than the bob of the 20’s. The quest for perfect skin made makeup a must-have in the 1950’s.
#5 – The Hippie Era
Perhaps there was no bigger contrast between two consecutive eras than the one that happened between the 1950’s and the 1960’s. Modeling started to become almost as popular as acting in films. Because of the growing popularity, many of the models that we saw at the time were very thin. This thin body type was a popular one for non-hippies who, at the time, preferred to wear knee high boots, short skirts and tunics. For the hippie types, however, things were completely different.
For those who attended Woodstock, the look was completely natural. There was no ‘ideal body type’ for the culture, and makeup was completely ignored. Women did not feel forced to fit into beauty trends of the time, and uniqueness was widely accepted. Sunglasses, headbands, tie-dye shirts and bell bottom jeans were all the rage. As you can see and perhaps experienced firsthand, these were two completely different looks at the time, which is a rare occurrence on the list.
#4 – The Disco Era
For the last 100 years or so, music has had a lot of influence on what the ideal type of beauty is in society. Instead of the hard rocking late 1960’s, popular music shifted over into the Disco scene (albeit for a very brief period). Thin body types were still trendy during the Disco Era, but it was taken to an even farther extreme than we saw in the Hippie Era. Body types in the Disco Era were pronounced with high waist jeans for an even slimmer look and tight wrap dresses.
Perhaps the biggest trend we saw in the 1970’s that is still talked about today is the hairstyle, which was made popular by a poster featuring Farrah Fawcett. Long and blonde was how it started, but feathering was the vital addition that people needed in terms of hairstyles to fit in. One more trend that started in the 1970’s that we still see today is the addition of tanning beds for a look that is much easier than spending hours in the Sun.
#3 – The 80’s
One era that we will always look back on and wonder, “What were we thinking?” is the 1980’s. The 80’s saw the rise in VHS tapes that taught aerobic fitness as it made its way into the living rooms of millions. The body type of the instructors in the videos were ideal at the time. And, even worse, the instructor’s notorious spandex suits somehow became an acceptable outfit to wear in public. Maybe even worse than those outfits were the shoulder pads that made women look like NFL linebackers.
Hairstyles in the 80’s quickly ditched the feathered look and went straight to the hairspray department as bigger hair was an arms race, which is something we are forever glad is well documented in films and pictures. Makeup was also enlarged, as the more colors there were, the better it looked. Big blue eyeliner and bright lipstick made for a weird contrast, but it was ‘in’ at the time. Models also popularized thicker eyebrows, which was a big contrast to previous eras.
#2 – The 90’s
Flashy over the top looks had gone by the wayside by the end of the 1980’s only to be traded in for something that was beyond somber as the grunge era made its way into style. Flannel, lumberjack type looks were popular in parts of the country, while others wanted to look like models of the time. Heroin chic kicked off in the 1990’s, and looking thin hit critical (lack of) mass as looking as though you have been addicted to drugs for years became a trend.
The late 1990’s thankfully saw a shift towards normalcy, as shows like “Friends” helped to introduce new trends that were more conventional and even started the biggest hair trend of the decade, known as the ‘Rachel.’ Even guys became interested in hair trends in the late 1990’s thanks to Eminem and his bleach blonde hair, which other singers adopted to make it even more popular. Now, we can all look back at our yearbook photos from the era and have a nice laugh at ourselves.
#1 – The New Millennium
We can say that the trends of today are completely normal but, to be honest, we are already laughing about what we thought was trendy in the 1990’s and that seems like it was just yesterday. The pressure to look thin is still around and people continue to take it to dangerous measures as plastic surgery has become more common than ever. It still hasn’t been perfected, though, so the results can look terrible if done in the wrong way.
But what is the biggest trend in fashion today? It’s hard to say as everyone has taken a very unique approach to their fashion. Thanks to social media and a way of showing what we dress like, there is no universal way to look or dress. No matter what you want to do to yourself, there is a tutorial you can find online. This means that we are slowly starting to see the death of ‘fashion trends.’ We’ll see what the next decade looks like, but we’re sure it will be different.
I’ve been completely sober now for twelve months. People keep asking me how an earth I did it. They had questions like how do you be social, how do you relax, how do you have fun, etc. All you need to go twelve months without alcohol and come back a champion are these seven simple steps.
1. Chunk it down
Initially, I told myself I was giving up for one month; then it became three months, then twelve months, and now I have completed a year, and I know I can give it up forever. If you want to give up alcohol for at least twelve months, then you have to chunk down the milestones.
Starting at twelve months won’t work because it’s too long. You need to have a few quick wins along the way and then once the twelve months comes around, you’ll realise that excessive drinking is for retards who are going nowhere in life, and are trying to escape their current circumstances – that’s not you.
2. Have a higher purpose
Not something small but something that is revolutionary. Start saying no to drinking nights regularly even though your friends and colleagues might be upset. In the beginning, it will be hard and you will feel lonely. You will feel like an outcast with no friends who can’t have fun anymore.
When you finish your work at the end of the week, go home early, and then wake up early the next day. When your friend’s text you to say how good their night was last night, just put the phone down and start working on your dream straight away.
As Saturday night comes around, have dinner with your friends and then leave when they all head to the bar. Go home, and work on your dream. When you are absolutely exhausted from all the work that night, go outside for a moment, look up, and see the stars.
See the one that is shining the brightest and realise that is you. Get your mind to understand that not drinking is the way for you to achieve everything you have ever wanted. Tell yourself that cold winter’s night that you were destined to do bigger things.
Seek comfort in knowing that you are not missing out on anything, and you are doing what you have always wanted. On Sunday, go to the market and try buying some vegetables. Come home, and eat them or juice them. Notice how freaking good you feel.
Ask yourself the question, what if I could feel this all the time? For the rest of your day keep working on your dream even when those around you think you’re nuts. Just before it get’s dark, make some tea, go outside, and watch the sunset.
Reflect on how great your day has been and how you have turned your circumstances around. As the yellow and orange from the sun shines on your face, commit to being in greater control of your life and notice how you are starting to feel more powerful each day.
Notice the champion beginning to awaken within you. As your phone alarm clock goes off for the start of Monday morning, wake up full of energy and go to your income-producing activity with a smile on your face. Even if everyone around you has a negative look on their face, smile at them.
Once your computer has booted up, go somewhere quiet, and do five minutes of meditation with the Calm app. Realise how easy it is to bring yourself back to the present. Remember how your thoughts used to be before you began meditating.
At lunchtime, get off your ass and go for a walk to find a healthy option to have for lunch. Forget all the people trying to call your phone and just have some time for you. On the way home, stop to fill up with petrol.
When you see a heroin addict getting ready to rob the store, warn the nice lady who always tries to serve customers with a smile. When she asks why you care, just tell her that you do and smile again. Get back in your car and drive home with the latest personal development podcast that you downloaded the week before.
Think about what your life was like before you discovered Tony Robbins and just how miserable alcohol made you when you tried to forget about your current circumstances. Remember all the girls you hooked up with when you were drunk and how none of them actually cared about you, and it was just the fake effects of the alcohol that made it all happen.
Hone in your thoughts to focus on how your life has become nothing more than you, your dream, eating healthy, meditating, and giving to others.
On Monday night, check out your Instagram account and see the photo of the last time you had an alcoholic beverage and be proud of yourself. Know that it was your thoughts and your dream that created this new reality.
Before you go to bed, stay up an extra hour and write a blog post like this so you can share your experiences with the world to help them with their own struggle with alcohol. Picture that Tim Ferriss is reading your blog post and that he would be proud of who you’ve become.
Visualise other game-changing human beings also reading this same blog post and waiting for you to get better at your craft. Visualise how great it will be when the world discovers your true talent which has nothing to do with alcohol or the losers you meet at the bar who are still trying to escape.
At 9 pm, tell yourself it’s time for bed and then stop yourself, and go back to your computer so you can create a design contest online for the purpose of creating your new ebook cover. Be excited about how good the design is going to look and how your dream is to inspire millions of people.
Make the act of inspiring others more important than everything else you do. In the coming weeks, when times get tough, think of what it’s going to be like standing on stage and sharing your story with thousands of people.
Take your mind into the future and picture yourself watching a movie that has been made about your life because you didn’t let alcohol win and you became a champion that everyone will remember. When you wake up on Tuesday, turn on your computer and see the email you have been waiting for that makes all of those sober days worthwhile. See the email that is your dream coming to life.
Realise you have now come back a champion!
3. Stop suppressing your thoughts
Booze is used mostly as a form of escape. This need for an escape is caused by the suppression of negative thoughts and one’s current life circumstances. Come to terms with your reality and make it a must to grow every single day. Booze will quickly become boring – trust me.
Then, when you work on yourself every day and find ways to have more positive thoughts than negative ones, there’s nothing to suppress anymore. Alcohol becomes a way to suppress positive thoughts, and you’ll realise pretty quickly that’s the last thing you want.
4. Find other ways to reward yourself for hard work
Alcohol is often used as a reward for hard work. What I found, and what you’ll find, is there are other ways to reward yourself. During my hiatus from alcohol I took up eating at my favorite restaurant Vegie Bar, drankdelicious Chinese tea, and traveled the world.
These options are so much better than booze. Since quitting alcohol I have 10X’d my results further by giving up caffeine. Caffeine does us no favours, and I have since fell in love with “Caffeine Free Teas” that taste just as good as regular tea.
5. You’ll have more money
Booze is expensive nowadays. In Australia, it’s pretty easy for me to blow $150-$200 on alcohol with my eyes closed. It’s expensive and useless at the same time. A better use for the money is to put it into starting an online business or your next travel adventure (that’s what I did and you can too).
6. Think of the time you will get back
Boozy nights don’t just take up your time while you’re drinking. Drinking typically takes six hours or more to get into a dehydrated enough state that you feel drunk. At the end of the six hours, you will go on a downward spiral followed by either vomiting or sleep.
The next day you will try to wake up and probably decide to sleep a few extra hours because you feel strangely tired (I wonder why). When you do finally wake up your head will weigh more than those unused gym weights sitting in your garage that you swear you will regularly lift one day.
For the next few days, you will function, but you won’t feel overly productive – you’re basically doing a half-assed job at your work. Then, as if by magic, you will get a (insert illness here), and start taking medicine that makes you more sick.
Before you know it, two weeks will pass, and you will have got jack all done. That’s motivation to quit alcohol right there. Having all this time back in your life could completely change your circumstances and your success. I promise you booze is the problem for you right now.
7. Be a high performer
As I sped past those around me in terms of performance, I became motivated in a different way. High performers typically are not trying to escape life; they are trying to live life at the highest level. Most people that were around me when I gave up booze had no idea about my entrepreneurial background which gave me a taste of peak performance.
These same people didn’t know my one secret; personal development. That’s how you excel through the ranks and outperform everyone. Once you realise this, you will see that booze is the anchor that’s keeping you at the bottom of the ocean with the algae, where it’s dark and lonely.
Author: Tim Denning
Source: Addicted to success