Tag: Life

The Most Reliable Reason to be Nice and Go the Extra Mile – Consolation of Thoroughness

You two broke up, but for months after you can’t stop thinking about what might have been. You’re distracted by regrets, what if’s and if only’s. You decided not to pursue your dream of making it big in your first-choice career, and ever since you’ve been haunted by the thought that you might have quit too […]

How I Learned To Love Being Alone

how I learned to be alone

In my free time, I take myself on dates.

This can be anything from getting a table for one at a restaurant, watching a film or theatre performance, or walking along a park trail and then sitting on a bench watching the sunset.

I first discovered the genius of self-dates at the age of 17. Prior to that, running errands alone was not a problem. It was doing enjoyable activities alone that seemed so strange and foreign. Being left alone for a few minutes in a coffee shop made me nervous, and the idea of eating at a restaurant or seeing a movie by myself seemed, well, sad.

Plainly, I was self-conscious. I didn’t want to seem like a loner and wanted to avoid any stares that came my way. It’s not that I didn’t have friends to do things with. Interests and schedules don’t always align. So I forced myself to stop being so reliant on others to join me in order to go places and have a nice time.

In a burst of spontaneity one day, I decided to see the re-make film “True Grit” while waiting for my take out order of Italian sausage pasta. When my food was ready, there was only enough time to head to the theatres and buy my ticket. Although well aware of the theatre’s “No outside food” policy, I was hungry, and decided to take my chances.

Like any first date, my first self-date started a bit awkwardly. Also, my bag wasn’t large enough to conceal my dinner. To my surprise, the stub collector simply stared at my noisy plastic bag of food and let me continue onward without questions. Once inside, I plopped myself in a prime viewing seat—free of any tall giraffes obstructing my view—and began picking at my food.

When the movie started, and I was transported to another world and another time, the awareness of being alone left me. The duration of the film was enjoyed without interruption, and when it was over, a couple seated in the row in front of me, turned back to chat a bit about it—and my pasta.

Since then, I have gone on to do more things—alone. I learned there are many pros, such as getting away with some things more easily (like the pasta incident). Sometimes being alone allows me to see more. I found that more people approach me at events to chat—it’s how some friendships have begun. I even met one of my music heroes. Most recently, I got free admission to see a wonderful city view from an observatory.

Most of all, I have gained confidence in being independent, and learned that people aren’t staring as much as I thought. Even if they do, it doesn’t bother me. These days, it’s not even about not having someone to go with—I just love my alone time. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, at any pace that I want. 

Author: Bianca Sewake

Source: ThoughtCatalog

Loners Are Some of the Most Intellectual and Loyal People You’ll Ever Meet

loners can be most intellectual and loyal
Loners Are Some of the Most Intellectual and Loyal People You’ll Ever Meet
In fact, their intelligence makes them capable of being content in solitude. That’s why I grow weary of all the negative talk about those who wish to enjoy time alone, away from the multitude.
 
Being a loner doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. If you think this way, you’re wrong. It’s not my opinion, it’s fact. You didn’t write the alphabet and you didn’t make the rules. There are many ingredients in the soup! Let me sort this out for you. I believe a little snatching up and rearranging is due.
First off, I’m not attacking anyone, I’m standing up for the little man, the one in the dark corner and the one whose been bullied far too long. In fact, I would love to help you get to know the loner, the introvert, the confident and quiet intellectual. Hopefully, you are no longer offended and maybe even a little curious about the loner. First, I need to clear something up.
There are two types of loners
The loner isn’t always an introvert, actually. Sometimes, the loner has a perfect ability to make friends, socialize and even get loads of attention. It’s just that they prefer to be alone. They have friends too! Loners have the ability to make top notch friends because they choose to choose carefully. Their friends are usually in a small group as well. Extroverted loners are picky about their time, selfish even, meaning they love to learn about themselves and continually learn things about life as well. And no, that doesn’t mean they are self-absorbed. I’m not positive because I am a rather introverted loner, but extroverted loners probably don’t have time for small talk either.
Jonathon Cheek, psychologist at Wellesley College, said,
“Some people simply have a low need for affiliation.”
On the flip side, the introverted loner is a little different. They have issues with large crowds of people, it’s not just a choice. Introverts feel safer alone, there is no risk of social awkwardness or rejection. Although they might choose animal friends over human counterparts, as many of us do, introverted loners still care. They are intelligent and find ways to socialize a bit through online communications rather than events or concerts, which can be devastating to their peace of mind.
Some think being an introverted loner is unhealthy. They feel that enforced alone time is close to anxiety. I can understand this personally, as I have endured panic attacks when experiencing the chaotic environment of an amusement park. This is because introverts can be victims of stimulus overload! Introverted loners need more time for meditation and pampering the senses.
Whew!
I hope this helps, both you and me, because there are so many reasons, to be honest, as to why someone would choose more alone time. It could be heredity, the desire for privacy or even the result of not having many friends as a child. And don’t forget, being a loner is not the same as being lonely. I, for one, spent an entire year as a single mom with joint custody. I missed my children when they were away but it was not because I was alone. The weeks that I was by myself, I met myself. I got to know who I was and what I liked about myself. This was invaluable time that I used to learn that I needed no one to tell me who I was or how I should feel. I spent time with me and found some solid foundation on which to stand my ground, as needed. I embraced being a loner.
Loners are some of the most intellectual and loyal people you will ever meet. They can also be dangerous. Why, you ask. Because they already know what they are capable of and they no longer have to pretend. Knowledge, to the loner, is not intimidating. It is simply another opportunity to realize the strength of solitude.
Never look down on the loner. And loners, never look down on the social butterflies either.
It’s better if we work together and appreciate our differences. That’s where true intelligence and loyalty lie.
Author: Sherrie is a freelance writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. She is a mother of three and a lifetime fan of the thought-provoking and questionable aspects of the universe.

Matrix Star Keanu Reeves’ Heart-Wrenching Note About Life Will Inspire You To Never Give Up! – Thousand Thoughts

 

With a brilliant career in Hollywood and three decades of awesomeness, Keanu Reeves life has time and again found a space in daily publications. However, he is one superstar who never blew his own trumpet. From his charitable nature to his personal life which has always seen a lot of downs than ups, Keanu Reeves has never opened up much about his personal life. Recently, a Facebook page posted an open letter which Keanu Reeves wrote and it is hauntingly beautiful!

From opening up about losing his baby to losing love of his life in a brutal car accident, read what Keanu Reeves has to say about his trials and tribulations and how he overcame it! Worth a read for sure. 🙂

“Most people know me, but don’t know my story. At the age of 3, I watched my father leave. I attended four different high schools and struggled with dyslexia, making my education more challenging than it is for most. At the age of 23, my closest friend River Phoenix died of a drug overdose. In 1998, I met Jennifer Syme. We fell instantly in love and by 1999, Jennifer was pregnant with our daughter. Sadly, after eight months, our child was born stillborn. We were devastated by her death and it eventually ended our relationship. 18 months later, Jennifer died in a car accident. Since then I avoid serious relationships and having kids. My younger sister had lukemia. Today she is cured, and I donated 70% of my gains from the movie Matrix to Hospitals that treat leukemia. I am one of the only Hollywood stars without a Mansion. I don’t have any bodyguards and do not wear fancy clothes. And even though I’m worth $100 million, I still ride the subway and I love it!

Keanu Reeves

Awakening Times

So in the end, I think we can all pretty well agree that even in the face of tragedy, a stellar person can thrive. No matter what’s going on in your life, you can overcome it! Life is worth living.”

 

Author: Isha Sharma

Source: IndiaTimes

10 Clear Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Care What Others Think. – Thousand Thoughts

Thousand Thoughts

It is human nature to want to be liked and accepted. However, this often leads to people worrying too much about what others are thinking about them.

This kind of excessive worrying can have a negative effect on your life. It can be so debilitating that it interferes with your ability to feel at ease with yourself and around others. Do not let it prevent you from living your life to the fullest potential.

Here are ten reasons why you should not care about what others think:

1. It’s Not Their Life, So It’s None Of Their Business

People are entitled to think whatever they want, just as you are entitled to think what you want. What people think of you cannot change who you are or what you are worth, unless you allow them to.

This is your life to live. At the end of the day you are the only person who needs to approve of your own choices.

2. They Don’t Know What’s Best For You

Nobody will ever be as invested in your life as you. Only you know what is best for you, and that entails learning from your own choices. The only way you will ever truly learn is through making your own decisions, taking full responsibility for them, and that way if you do fail, at least you can learn from it wholeheartedly, as opposed to blaming somebody else.

3. What’s Right For Someone Else May Be Completely Wrong For You

It’s important to recognize that someone’s opinion is often based on whatthey would do. This alone is the problem. What is best for somebody else, can be the worst thing for you. What one person considers garbage can be another person’s treasure. We are all so unique. Only you know what is right for you.

4. It Will Keep You From Your Dreams

If you are constantly worried about what other people think, you will never get to where you need to go in life. You are going to have to do things that don’t always meet people’s standards. You will come into situations where you have to put your pride, and your reputation on the line to get what you want. If you are constantly worried about what people are thinking, you will never have the will to do what’s right.

5. You’re The One Stuck With The End Result

In life, you are the one stuck with the consequences of your decisions. For example, if someone suggests you buy some stocks, but you just don’t feel like it’s the right choice, you are the only one who will live the consequences. If the stock falls and you lose a lot of money, you are the one that will have to live with the fact that you didn’t follow your inner call. When people give you their suggestions or even orders, there is no risk for them. They don’t have to live with your choices—but you do.

6. People’s Thoughts Change On A Regular Basis

We are constantly changing. Some philosophers and theorists suggest that we are in a constant state of flux, so much that we cannot even say we have one, specific ‘self’ (or a fixed personality). People’s thoughts, ideas and views change on a regular basis.

That means even if somebody does think badly of you at the moment, there is a good chance they will think differently in the near future. So basically, people’s thoughts don’t really matter.

7. Life Is Simply Too Short

You only have one life to live, so why would you spend it worrying about other people’s opinions? Do whatever you want, be whoever you want. You’re not going to see these people after you’re dead. You probably won’t even see them in a year from now. Live your life without worrying about other people’s thoughts and opinion, and you will live your life to the maximum.

8. You Reap What You Sow

Worrying too much about what other people think of you can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Frequently, people indulge their need to be liked so much so that it actually dictates to the way they behave. Some become people-pleasers or so submissive that many people are turned off. The behavior you use as an attempt to ensure you are liked may actually cause you to be disliked.

9. Others Don’t Care As Much As You Think

People generally don’t think outside themselves a great deal of time. It is a sad but simple truth that the average person filters their world through their ego, meaning that they think about most things in terms of “me” or “my”.

This means that, unless who you are or what you have done directly affects another person or their life, they are unlikely to spend much time thinking about you at all.

10. The Hard Truth: It’s Impossible To Please Everybody

You can’t please all of the people all of the time. It is impossible to live up to everyone’s expectations so there is no point in burning yourself out trying to do so. Just make sure that one of the people you please is yourself!

Conclusion

The weight of other’s thought can become a burden for you. It can inhibit you from living your life, because your entire being (your personality, your thoughts, your actions) are controlled by an idealized standard of what people want to see. When you become so obsessed with other people’s opinion of you, you forget your own.

You can make a conscious effort to stop giving a damn; to let yourself free. It’s a skill that needs to be practiced, like meditating. But once you truly understand how to let go, you will see the world as entirely different.

Once you give up catering to other people’s opinion and thoughts, you will find out who you truly are, and that freedom will be like taking a breath for the first time.

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5 Reasons Crying A Lot Is Means You’re Mentally Tough. – Thousand Thoughts

 

 

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In our culture, people crying is a sign of weakness. Crying, as it turns out, is actually rather good for you. According to Dr. William H. Frey II, PhD:

“Crying is not only a human response to sorrow and frustration, it’s a healthy one. Crying is a natural way to reduce emotional stress that, left unchecked, has negative physical affects on the body, including increasing the risk of cardiovascular disease and other stress-related disorders.”

So how is it that crying shows our strength?

1. You don’t hide from your emotions.

And that’s an incredible strength in itself. It’s easy to swallow your emotions. It’s the easiest thing to do. What’s hard is facing down your emotions.

2. You don’t care what others think.

If you’re willing to cry, it really shows how little you care about what other people think. That’s not weakness. That’s the ultimate strength. Overcoming community judgement is an incredible step.

3. You know it helps.

You know how it feels. Crying lets out pent up feelings which can bog us down if we let them sit. It helps keep your nervous system in check as well as dispel any thoughts that aren’t useful to you.

4. Crying makes you healthier.

Crying is more than just letting out feelings. It can actually decreasae anxiety and depression by releasing feel-good hormones and lowering your manganese levels.

5. You help others feel more comfortable.

When you’re open about crying, you show that it’s perfectly normal and natural to do. You’re setting a trend. You’re being a leader.

Do you find yourself crying a lot? Let us know in the comments below!

 

This article was originally posted on Higher Perspective.

15 Damaging Myths About Life We Should All Stop Believing. – Thousand Thoughts

Myths About Life

1. There is a single definition of success.

And it involves an established career, large house, acceptable body shape, marriage and annual holidays.

Everyone has their own path to walk in this life, and what brings true meaning and deep fulfillment differs for all of us.

Let go of your need to fit to the status quo. Live, work, date, play, create, travel, eat, drink, move, laugh and sing in ways that feel right with your soul. That is true success.

2. Life is meant to be hard work.

Life is meant to be easy, beautiful and overflowing with moments of joy and bliss.

The more you listen to your soul and build a life that’s true to you, the more your actions will feel completely natural and effortless.

If life is a constant struggle, you’re running on empty and you dread Mondays, it’s time to take an honest look at your life — in a loving way.

3. Life happens to us.

Where you are now is a result of the choices you made in the past. Where you will be in the future is a result of the choices you are making right now.

You are an active participant in the creation of your life. So embrace your power as a creator, and start choosing thoughts, words and actions that make a positive impact and will come back to you in a million magnificent, beautiful, jaw-dropping ways.

4. There is such a thing as normal, and we should measure ourselves against it.

There is no such thing as a normal human, but there is such a thing as a “normal” you — where you’re completely yourself, you love yourself deeply and you think and act in ways that feel aligned with your soul.

Let your internal compass be your only point of reference.

5. There is an “us” and a “them.”

We draw a line around our social and family circles, keeping out everyone who doesn’t fit neatly within our definition of normal, interesting or worthwhile.

While everyone has vastly different aptitudes, passions and quirks, everyone also has the same light within them. The light within you is the same light within me, within the stranger on the bus, and within anyone you consider your enemy.

6. We have to compete for limited resources.

Life is meant to be abundant and limitless. We create scarcity by believing in it, instead of focusing our efforts on creating, giving and contributing our gift to help humankind reach its highest potential.

Relax and feel it deep within your heart that you will always be provided for.

7. Happiness comes from external things.

We pin our happiness on external things like our appearance, bank balance, job title, travel plans, possessions and the opinions of others — and then suffer as a result.

True, sustainable happiness comes from within — by cultivating a mindset based on gratitude, mindfulness and acceptance.

8. Holding grudges is a natural part of life.

When we feel that someone has “wronged” us, we cling to the memory and carry it around with us for weeks or sometimes years. What we fail to realize is that we are holding ourselves hostage, not just the perceived wrong-doer.

The Buddha once said, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

Make forgiveness your new motto and see how much freer and lighter your soul feels.

9. There is something wrong with us.

We are plagued by feelings of inadequateness and worthlessness, postponing self-acceptance and self-love until a day in the future when we’re thinner, wealthier, more confident and more popular.

You are perfect and complete exactly as you are. Even when you are striving to improve and grow, you are complete. As the Buddhist saying goes, “We are all perfect as we are, and we could all use a little work.”

10. It matters what other people think of us.

We give away so much of our energy, power and inner peace by worrying about what others think of us.

The truth is we can’t ever know for certain what other people are thinking about us. So when your ego starts to fill you with doubt and fear, remember it’s a fictional story.

11. We see things how they really are.

How we experience the world is heavily influenced by our beliefs and past experiences.

Our subconscious mind chooses pieces of information to serve to our conscious mind based on what we’ve programmed it to look for. Identify your dominant beliefs and replace the ones that aren’t serving you.

12. Meditation is something people do on a cushion at sunrise.

You can meditate and be mindful all throughout the day as you go about your life.

Pause and feel the weight of your body in your seat, the feeling of the fabric against your skin, and the slight sensation of the air on your face.

Take a few deep breaths and let your whole being relax. Scan your body up and down for sensations, simply observing, without making any judgments.

13. When we give something, we lose something.

Giving and receiving are one in truth. When you give to someone with no strings attached — whether it be a physical gift, a compliment or your time — you are nourished as well as the receiver.

Not only do you experience sensations of satisfaction and joy, but your karma will bring more blessings and gifts back into your life.

14. We have to logically figure everything out.

We’ve been taught to trust our minds but not our intuition or inner voice of guidance.

When you’re grappling with a problem or lacking clarity, learn to lean into your soul and trust the wisdom it provides to you — often in the form of a gut feeling, serendipitous sign or a spontaneous “aha!” moment.

15. We need to be more realistic.

Many people think that daily happiness and joy is an unrealistic goal, and we should be more realistic.

Happiness is THE ultimate goal of our lives, and it is both worthwhile and attainable.

Understand your purpose is to blossom into the highest, happiest version of you and let go of any guilt you feel for making your happiness a priority.

 

Author: Elyse, the founder of NotesOnBliss.com, your guidebook to happiness and creating a beautiful life, and the creator of the Beautiful Life Bootcamp 6-week eCourse.