Tag: Happiness

7 Small Gestures That Make People Feel Incredibly Loved.

Small Gestures that makes them feel loved

In our fast-paced culture, dominated by technology and electronic communication, it’s easy to understand why we’ve lost so much human interaction, and left behind the small gestures that can make people feel loved. We’ve abandoned feelings and emotions for convenience and speed, barely ever leaving thoughtful notes for someone we care about, because texting is so much faster.

A recent AskReddit thread is giving everyone the warm fuzzies, posing the question, “What small gesture makes you feel enormously loved?” The answers span a wide range, from forehead kisses and backrubs, to two strangers exchanging a smile, to addressing someone by their name when you’re talking to them. Some appear seemingly casual, while others signify a momentous shift in someone’s life. It was a slap in the face in the best way possible, reminding me just how important the “little” things are — and how maybe they aren’t so little after all.

This thread reminds me of the times my boyfriend has walked in the apartment with flowers, for no reason at all; or the time he bought me expensive coconut ice cream because I couldn’t have any diary. Then I ate all the coconut ice cream and he was like, “Megan, WTF.” Still, though — worth it.

What small gestures made you feel loved? Here’s what some people had to say.

1. Handwritten Love Letters

Knowing that someone took the time to write you a letter — when they could’ve texted or emailed — is truly heartwarming. Handwritten letters are good for the giver, too! The activity has been shown to increase motivation, decrease stress, and improve your overall mood and well-being.

2. Really Caring About Your Day

What makes this so fascinating is how little we’re actually communicating with words. When someone asks about your day, remember that only seven percent of your answer is delivered to them verbally. The other 93, they get from tuning in to your tone and facial expressions.

3. Totally Relaxing Physical Affection

Not only does it feel incredible, but there is actual research that explains the mental and physical health benefits of physical touch. For example, it has been correlated with decreased violence, increased trust, a stronger immune system, greater learning engagement, and stronger bonds between people.

4. Remembering The Details

Science says that on any given day, the average person hears somewhere between 20,000 and 30,000 words — and of that, they only remember 17 to 25 percent! So when someone remembers something specific about you, you can know that they really do care.

5. Random Surprises

You can really brighten someone’s day with an out-of-the-blue gift or kind act. Additionally, it’s good for you! Research has found that doing random acts of kindness can improve your mood and relationship satisfaction, while decreasing anxiety and social avoidance.

6. Feeling Included, Because You’re Important

Some statistics have the divorce rate at 50 percent, with a whopping 75 percent later remarrying. Additionally, well over 1,000 new stepfamilies are forming every single day. With so many people coming together, it’s touching to know that it’s not just blood that makes you family.

7. Expressing Concern For Someone’s Safety

It’s a true friend who wants to make sure you’re safe and sound; and science has found that solid friendships encourage healthy behavior, boost self-esteem, and help fight off depression.

 

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13 Tips To Feel Good Today (They Each Take Less Than 2 Minutes) – Thousand Thoughts

We’re often told to practice self-love and self-care, but it’s rare that we’re given practical advice on how to actually do it.

I’ve shared the following 13 tools with hundreds of my clients who are looking to transform their relationship with themselves. If you’re open and willing, they really work.

Take what you like and leave what you don’t. See what works for you. I’ve watched all of these tips shift people’s energy and help them shape healthy practices of self-love and self-care.

1. Set an intention for the day.

When you wake up in the morning, write your intention down or say it to yourself first thing. For example, “My intention for today is to do my best for where I am now because I know I’ll feel good about it later.” This will set your day’s tone. (Here are a few more examples of positive intentions to drive your day.)

2. Meditate, just for two minutes.

Spend just two or 10 minutes a day in a calm space, quiet your mind, and notice your breath. The practice of meditation allows you to focus on your present so you can be more mindful in the moment and make the best choices for you.

3. Use mantras and affirmations.

You can recenter yourself with mantras and affirmations during any moment of the day when you start to feel “off,” or like you want to treat yourself unkindly. Make sure that what you’re saying feels true to you — telling yourself a lie in hopes it will make you feel better never works. A few of my favorite mantras are:

“I am open to possibility.”
“I am grateful for my struggles for they have shown me strength.”
“I choose to let love in and fear out,” and “I’m choosing to grow with grace.”

4. Hone a 10-second breathing routine.

Instantly calm, re-center, and ground yourself by breathing in for 10 full seconds, holding your breath for the next 10 seconds, and slowly exhaling for 10 seconds after that. Repeat three to five times.

Always remember: you’re never given more than you can handle.

5. Start gratitude journaling.

Every morning or evening, take the time to simply write down one to five things you’re grateful for that day. A journaling practice will shift your perspective and help you find the good in your routine. (Want some more info on how to make gratitude journaling work for you? Read this.)

6. Write down one thing you love about you.

Once you finish your gratitude post, record a few things you appreciate about yourself and your body that day. Keep this practice simple so you actually do it! It doesn’t require more than a bullet point or two.

7. Set an intention for your meal.

How do you want to show up for your meal? With grace? With the intention to honor your hunger and fullness? With the ability to simply taste your food and stop worrying about calories? Whatever comes up for you, set an intention for it. I promise that when you do, you’ll show up to your food in a newly mindful way that serves you and your health. (Mindful eating is important. Here’s how to make it work for you.)

8. Find ways to move your body that you actually enjoy.

If you’re having a hard time with this, think about what you used to do as a child and brainstorm how you can bring those moves into your life now. When you move your body out of love, you’ll connect with yourself in a more meaningful way and you won’t dread exercise nearly as much. (Here are a few kid-approved exercises that you can try.)

9. Tune into the way you talk to yourself.

If you wouldn’t talk to a friend to speak like that to you, don’t speak like that to yourself. Try and remind yourself to reframe your self-talk so it contains more positive mantras and affirmations. (These mantras will help you soften up your self-talk.)

When you feel like you’ve failed, it’s easy to label yourself a failure.

10. Close your eyes and see yourself living your best life.

Once you do, think about how you feel when you’re there. Let that feeling fill you up with light and warmth, and keep moving forward in a way that serves that ultimate ideal. (Another way to bring your dreams to life? Vision boards.)

11. Change your space.

Whether you’re completing a difficult task, feeling tired and bored with your surroundings, or just need to change your energy, change your space. Go for a walk, call a friend, check your email, read a book, do something that makes you feel good. Only return once you’re in a better state of mine.

12. Practice forgiveness.

Are you directing anger at someone or beating yourself up? Let it go, forgive and move on. Struggle is the only way to learn, so use it as an opportunity for self-love and growth. Choosing to forgive others doesn’t mean you need to agree with their actions, but it means you’re cutting negative cords so you can move on with your own life. Tell yourself that you are forgiving so that you can open up space to travel forward in your own journey.

13. Recall the positive.

When you feel like you’ve failed, it’s easy to label yourself a failure. Recognize that this is just a feeling and it’ll pass. And recall all the amazing things you’ve accomplished and contributed to. Quiet that inner voice, and remember that you’ve felt like this before and you’ll get past it again. Always remember: you’re never given more than you can handle.

This eye-opening video teaches you a simple shortcut to connect with the Universe so you can build a passionate new reality for yourself (without struggle or “hard work”).

It will also debunk the same myth we talked about here starting around the 7 minute mark, so watch it now while it’s fresh in your mind.

Plus it’s got one of the most fascinating and powerful tools for turbo-charing your spiritual gifts and manifesting your desires that I’ve ever seen.

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7 Mindfulness Habits That Lead To 365 Days of Happiness. – Thousand Thoughts

Would you like to become smarter, healthier, be in better shape, feel more relaxed, and have more energy than you thought possible? Of course you would!  If you adopt these 7 mindful habits into your everyday life, your next 365 days will be your best ever!

mindful-habit-pic

1. Become Mindful in Your Everyday Life

To be mindful simply means to pay attention on purpose. Much of our lives are spent on auto-pilot, where our mind just wanders from thought to thought. A good example of this is when we are driving. Have you ever been driving down the freeway, a few minutes go by, you come back to your conscious thought and you can’t remember what has happened in those last few minutes. Yes, you were driving, but you can’t remember what you passed, what you saw, or what was going on around you.

You were in auto-pilot mode, or daydreaming. Auto-pilot is the opposite of mindfulness. When being mindful, you’re aware of your surroundings, in the present and observe without judgement. You can start to practice being mindful right now as you read this article. Don’t just read this article, pay attention, be attentive, and understand what it is saying.

Do me a favor, take 15 seconds right now and look around. Observe what is around you. Really look at things…the computer, tablet, or phone you are reading this on. Acknowledge the size of the room or space you are in, what you are sitting on, and anything that is around you. That is an example of being mindful, just being in the present without your mind wandering off to what happened yesterday or what is coming up tomorrow. Start to do this a few times a day. Stop what you are doing and look around to notice where and what is going on. So, why practice mindfulness? Not only does it increase both your physical and mental health, it is scientifically proven toincrease the gray matter in your brain, in other words…make you smarter!

2. You Are What You Eat 

We put food in our body when we feel hungry, bored, stressed, depressed and for a number of other reasons. Food is essentially our energy source. Food gives us the fuel to keep going throughout the day. Being mindful of what you put in your body will affect your energy level, your cognitive skills, as well as your mood. Just like a high performance car demands high performance gas, if you want your body to perform at a high level you need to put high level food in your body. The old adage “you get out what you put in” says it best.  This also goes for your mind as the brain burns 20% of the calories you take in. So, start paying attention to what goes in your body and how it makes you feel.

3. I Want to Pump You Up!

We all know we need to exercise. For most, we go in and out of stages of a regular exercise routines, to not remembering where the gym is. When we’re not exercising regularly we find just about any excuse not to…I’m tired, I don’t have time, I think I pulled my back, just to name a few.  Whatever your excuse, throw it out the window. Become mindful about exercising regularly, because there is no excuse not to do something that decreases your stress, improves learning capabilities, improves self-esteem, gives you a natural high, makes you feel and look younger, and allows you to live a more vibrant life. Now, go put the gym in your GPS and get moving!

4. Get Your Beauty Sleep

Sleep is one of the most underrated activities that we partake in each and every day. How can you be mindful when you’re sleeping? Look at your sleep schedule or patterns. When do you go to sleep? When do you wake up? How well do you sleep?  Do you wake up several times during the night? Do you set an alarm? How many hours a night do you sleep? Are you tired during the day? Do you take naps? Once you understand your sleeping patterns you can then learn to adjust them so that you get on an optimal sleep schedule.

When you sleep, your body and your brain rejuvenates itself.  If you don’t get enough sleep, you don’t give your body or your mind enough time to fully recover. The average person needs 7.5 to 9 hours of sleep per night.The average American gets 6.8 hours of sleep per night which puts them in a “sleep debt.” Being in a constant sleep debt is basically living a sleep deprived life. If you actually do get the 7.5 hours per night, you will have more energy, think clearer, handle your emotions more intelligently, and just be more productive in general. Basically, you would be a better you!

5. Take “Me Time”

“Me Time” is any activity that you love to do. It can be almost anything that you really get into. For example, some people find exercising to be a great “me time” as they become enveloped in the activity without thinking about the outside clutter of the world. Reading a book, taking a bath, watching a movie, sitting in a room or house by yourself in silence, going to dinner with friends are some other examples of “me time.”

Most people have trouble getting “me time” in this busy world. For those who do have trouble finding time, I suggest scheduling it.  Taking “me time” reduces stress and allows you to really understand and appreciate who you are. I suggest scheduling a couple small “me times” per day, even if it is 5 minutes in a room by yourself relaxing. If golfing is one of your “me times”, make sure to get out once a week. If exercising is your time, do it several times a week. You get the picture…make sure to get your “me time!”

6. Listen Up!

Mindful listening is one of the coolest things you can adopt into your life. You will be amazed at some of the things you learn from not only what you hear people say, but also about who is saying them. An example of normal listening is when you are talking with someone, they’re speaking, and you are thinking about what you are going to say next. Mindful listening is where you listen without that chatter in your head. When you listen intently by paying attention on purpose to what is being said, it is a great learning experience, as well as a mindful exercise. Another great advantage of mindful listening is the relationship that you will build with the other person. They will respect the fact that you are listening which ultimately increases your relationship and trust with that person. Try it with the next person you speak with…it will amaze you!

7.  Don’t Forget to Breathe!

Breathing is one of the easiest and fastest ways to reduce your anxiety, stress and put you in a better mood. The great thing about breathing is you can do it anywhere, anytime, and you can do it in as little as 60 seconds! One minute of a breathing exercise can take you from stressed out, too “I can handle this.”

An easy but effective exercise is box breathing. This is where you concentrate on your breathing for at least 60 seconds. You breathe in with a count of 4, you then hold for a count of 4, breathe out for a count of 4, and hold for a count of 4. You then repeat this for about a minute, or as long as you wish. During the exercise you pay attention to your breath and body as the air fills your lungs on the inhale and slowly releases as you exhale. This exercise will not only relax you, but helps you become more focused and mindful in general.

If you adopt these seven mindful habits, I guarantee you will have the best year of your life! It starts out with a single step. Don’t try and jump in thinking you will become the mindful master right away. Goals and habit development are like staircases. You don’t come to a staircase, take one step and you’re at the top. Just like goals you set for yourself, you need to take baby steps in each of these mindful habits and eventually you will reach the top. Mindfully adopt these 7 habits into your daily routines and you will be amazed at where you are 365 days from now.

Featured photo credit: Boys Will Be Boys by Zach Dischner via flickr.com

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The 10 Commandments of True Happiness. – Thousand Thoughts

Commandments of happiness

This article was originally posted on chopra.com.

 

1. Listen to Your Body’s Wisdom

Our body expresses itself through signals of comfort and discomfort. When choosing a certain behavior, ask your body, “How do you feel about this?” If your body sends a signal of physical or emotional distress, watch out. If your body sends a signal of comfort and eagerness, proceed.

2. Live in the Present

The present is the only moment you have. Keep your attention on what is here and now; look for the fullness in every moment. Accept what comes to you totally and completely so that you can appreciate it, learn from it, and then let it go. The present is as it should be. It reflects infinite laws of Nature that have brought you this exact thought, this exact physical response. This moment is as it is because the universe is as it is. Don’t struggle against the infinite scheme of things; instead, be at one with it.

3. Take Time to Be Silent …

… to meditate, to quiet the internal dialogue. In moments of silence, realize that you are re-contacting your source of pure awareness. Pay attention to your inner life so that you can be guided by intuition rather than externally imposed interpretations of what is or isn’t good for you.

4. Relinquish Your Need for External Approval

You alone are the judge of your worth, and your goal is to discover infinite worth in yourself, no matter what anyone else thinks. There is great freedom in this realization. When you find yourself reacting with anger or opposition to any person or circumstance, realize that you are only struggling with yourself. Putting up resistance is the response of defenses created by old hurts.

5. When You Find Yourself Reacting With Anger …

… or opposition to any person or circumstance, realize that you are only struggling with yourself. Putting up resistance is the response of defenses created by old hurts. When you relinquish this anger, you will be healing yourself and cooperating with the flow of the universe.

6. Know That the World “Out There” Reflects Your Reality “in Here”

The people you react to most strongly, whether with love or hate, are projections of your inner world. What you most hate is what you most deny in yourself. What you most love is what you most wish for in yourself. Use the mirror of relationships to guide your evolution. The goal is total self-knowledge. When you achieve that, what you most want will automatically be there, and what you most dislike will disappear.

7. Shed the Burden of Judgment

You will feel much lighter. Judgment imposes right and wrong on situations that just are. Everything can be understood and forgiven, but when you judge, you cut off understanding and shut down the process of learning to love. In judging others, you reflect your lack of self-acceptance. Remember that every person you forgive adds to your self-love.

8. Don’t Contaminate Your Body With Toxins

Either through food, drink, or toxic emotions. Your body is more than a life-support system. It is the vehicle that will carry you on the journey of your evolution. The health of every cell directly contributes to your state of well being, because every cell is a point of awareness within the field of awareness that is you.

9. Replace Fear-Motivated Behavior With Love-Motivated Behavior

Fear is the product of memory, which dwells in the past. Remembering what hurt us before, we direct our energies toward making certain that an old hurt will not repeat itself. But trying to impose the past on the present will never wipe out the threat of being hurt. That happens only when you find the security of your own being, which is love. Motivated by the truth inside you, you can face any threat because your inner strength is invulnerable to fear.

10. Understand That the Physical World Is Just a Mirror of a Deeper Intelligence.

Intelligence is the invisible organizer of all matter and energy, and since a portion of this intelligence resides in you, you share in the organizing power of the cosmos. Because you are inseparably linked to everything, you cannot afford to foul the planet’s air and water. But at a deeper level, you cannot afford to live with a toxic mind, because every thought makes an impression on the whole field of intelligence. Living in balance and purity is the highest good for you and the Earth.

 Sharing is caring. Can you share this and help us reach more hearts and minds. – Thousand thoughts

 

Beliefs That You MUST Leave NOW To Experience True Happiness.

It’s always believed that You Must Change Your Beliefs to experience true happiness. Following are the beliefs that you must leave NOW if you really want to live a happy life.

 5-ways-to-overcome-limiting-beliefs

1. “I deserve happiness.”

No one deserves anything. No one is truly entitled to anything. Happiness is something you earn.

 

2. “I don’t have what I need to be happy.”

Happiness doesn’t come from things you possess in materiality, but it can come from appreciating what you have. An act of  appreciation and gratitude leads directly to happiness. Ask Yourself, What are you grateful for?

3. “I’m just not good enough.”

Everyone is different, so you are. Good in many aspects.

 

4. “I can never heal.”

People hurt us, it’s true. It’s completely on you for how you react to them. The good part is , you absolutely can heal, you just never will if you keep telling yourself that you can’t.

 

5. “I must be in control.”

I used to be this way. Badly. I always had to be in control of things. Heck, sometimes I can still be that way. But all it did was cause grief and worry. It’s not worth it to try to control everything. Take responsibility, but don’t fight to control.

 

6. “This is personal.”

Almost nothing is personal. These days it seems like everyone just aches to be offended, and if it doesn’t outrage you, it’s not worth the time. That’s a rough way to live. Realize that nothing is ever truly personal and you’ll be happier.

 

7. “I must be liked by everyone.”

This one is especially silly. Don’t let the opinion of others define you. Embrace what you are. Not everyone is going to like you and that is perfectly okay.

 

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