Tag: Beliefs

9 Important Things You Should Know about Yourself. – Thousand Thoughts

Thousand Thoughts

There are so many important things you don’t know about yourself, so many wonderful and precious things. And today I would like to share with you 9 of these things. 

Enjoy :)

1. There is a life-force within your Soul.

From a very young age you were taught to look outside yourself for all the things you thought were missing from your life. Not knowing that “There is a life-force within your soul, seek that life. There is a gem in the mountain of your body, seek that mine. O’ traveller of you are in search of that, don’t look outside, look inside yourself and seek that.~ Rumi

25 Life Changing Lessons to Learn from Rumi

2. You know more than you think you do.

Another important thing you should know about yourself is that your heart and Soul are a lot wiser than you think. They know everything about you, about your life’s path and about the many wonderful things you are capable of being, doing and having. And if you could just get into the habit of conversing with your Soul – listening, trusting and following the guidance of your heart and the wisdom of your intuition, you will soon discover that all the answers you were once so desperately seeking outside yourself, were within you all

“I have been a seeker and I still am. But I stopped asking the books and the stars. I started listening to the teachings of my soul.” ~ Rumi

3. You weren’t created to live in a “box.”

Your true nature is soft and flexible, fluid and expansive. Who you are underneath it all is much grander and much more complex than your conceptual structure of reality. Much more precious and a lot more valuable than all the labels that have been placed on you up until this moment, and all the labels that will continue to be placed on you in the future. And when you use all kinds of rigid concepts and labels to define yourself, placing yourself in a “box” and conforming to strict ideas of who you are and how you should live your life, you deny yourself the right to realize your true nature. You deny yourself the right to become all that life created you to be.

 15 Damaging Myths About Life We Should All Stop Believing.

4. You are not a finished product.

Who you are is constantly changing, growing and evolving; taking different forms, different shapes and becoming something new each day. And that is why it is so important to be flexible. To be open to change and to allow things to take their natural course. To allow yourself to be who life needs you to be, not who you think you should be. And to always remember that “The more a thing tends to be permanent, the more it tends to be lifeless.” ~ Alan Watts

5. When you try to shine, you dim your inner light.

Verse 24 of The Tao Te Ching talks about this in a glorious way: “He who stands on tiptoe doesn’t stand firm. He who rushes ahead doesn’t go far. He who tries to shine dims his own light. He who defines himself can’t know who he really is.” ~ Lao Tzu

You came into this world shining bright like a star. And even though you might have forgotten how valuable you actually are, if you could just be who you are without constantly trying to prove your value to those around you, you will eventually allow your inner light to be seen, valued and appreciated. And you will no longer depend on others to confirm that you’re worthwhile.

→ You Are Enough, You Have Enough, You Know Enough

6. Your self-worth cannot be verified by others.

Other people can’t determine how worthy and valuable you truly are. And you know why? Because most people have no idea how valuable they themselves are. Most people allow external things, places, people and circumstances to determine how much they are worth, and so they judge you as being worthy or not so worthy based on the same criteria, not knowing that these things have nothing to do with your value and self-worth. Make sure you don’t fall into the trap of thinking that who you are is not enough and that you need other people’s approval, love and validation in order for you to feel that way. Never allow external things, places, people or circumstances to determine how much you’re worth. Decide for yourself. It’s called “self-worth” not “other-worth.”

“Self-worth cannot be verified by others. You are worthy because you say it is so. If you depend on others for your value it is other-worth.” ~ Wayne Dyer

→ 9 Things To Stop Letting People Do To You, NOW!

7. You don’t have to compare or compete with anyone or anything else.

The life you are meant to create and the person you were born to be are unique. And  since your path in life is different from everybody else’s, there is no need to compare or compete with anyone or anything else. No need to try to be better than those around you. You are safe.

“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you.” ~ Lao Tzu

8. Your path in life is different from everybody else’s.

You have your own unique path to walk in life. A path that is different from everybody else’s. And even though you might be tempted at times to imitate and follow the herd; to do what everybody else does, please don’t! Follow the wise advice of Ralph Waldo Emerson and “Insist on yourself; never imitate… Every great man is unique.” Embrace your uniqueness. Walk the right path.

→ Overcoming Negative Thinking.

9. You are never alone.

You are never alone wherever you are. You are always in the company of your wonderful, precious and loving Self. Your heart and Soul are always with you – guiding you, protecting you, and making sure that you feel safe, loved and cared for. And that my friend, is something that no one can take away from you.

“As a body everyone is single, as a soul never.” ~ Hermann Hesse

→ How to Be Alone Without Feeling Lonely

With all my love,

 

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5 Spiritual Myths That Keep You From Living Your Life To The Fullest. – Thousand Thoughts

 Myths about spirituality

Myth #1: All of us are gifted with only one passion.

While it’s true that there are people on the planet who are born with one passion that lasts an entire lifetime, this doesn’t hold true for everyone. In fact, there are many who start out with one passion, only to discover that they are passionate about something else later on in life.

Myth #2: You Cannot Get Your Passion Wrong.

When we think that there is only one purpose for our lives, this can cause anxiety from fear of “getting it wrong.” But, life can be a thrilling rollercoaster ride full of twists, turns, and loop-di-loops. Some people will indeed find that one passion that takes all of their focus but, there are others that will find that they have a passion for several different things. Simply trust in what you love and you will be divinely guided to your passion. But take note; sometimes the way that your passion manifests may be different from what you have envisioned. In other words, the road that we think is easiest isn’t always the one that we end up taking.

Myth #3: Saying Negative Things Will Attract Negativity into Your Life. 

While positive psychology does have its benefits; however, the above concept is misleading. We are on this planet to experience our humanity, and all of the emotions that come with it, fully and honestly. If we tell ourselves that it’s wrong to feel negative emotion, we are preventing ourselves from reveling in the present moment. In fact, when we resist the truth of our emotions, they tend to stick around longer and get buried in the miasma of our other hidden emotions.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be positive and attracting good things into our lives. But there’s no need to censor our true emotions. When we allow the truth of our emotions to manifest, it allows the emotion to be released fully and gives us the freedom to move forward in life.

Myth #4: You Must Detach From the Material World In Order to Be Spiritual.

There are benefits in letting go; after all, surrender is a sacred journey. However, detachment can also be seen as a form of “Spiritual Bypassing;” in other words, we hiding our honest emotions in order to maintain a false sense of spiritual serenity. In our desire to be loving and pure, we are actually creating a barrier that prevents us from accepting the present moment.
When we bypass the truth of our emotions and bury them under the banner of spiritually, it doesn’t make reality any less true. Instead, the emotions that we are attempting to suppress begin to fester until they manifest in unbecoming ways. Needless to say, this isn’t a healthy coping strategy.When we accept the truth of the moment and make peace with every aspect of our humanity, it is then that we are living in spiritual authenticity.

Myth #5: Spiritual people don’t eat meat, cuss, or drink.

It is time that we release our judgments concerning what is “spiritual” or “righteous.” You are spirit; you are just wearing a human body. The word spiritual simply means that you want to create a connection between these two halves. Just because you eat steak, drink wine, or cuss, doesn’t mean that you have lost your connection to spirit.

 

Source.

Do You Have the Courage to Be Honest? – Thousand Thoughts

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If honesty is really the best policy then why is there so much deception? And if we feel disrespected when someone isn’t honest with us, then how can we justify those little white lies and carefully crafted exaggerations?

If we expect other people to have the courage to be honest with us, then wouldn’t anything but honesty from us be promoting a double standard? Maybe it’s time to take a closer look at honesty and see if it really is the best policy.

Being honest about honesty.

On the surface, the concept of honesty seems simple enough. All we have to do is tell the truth in every situation, right? Then why is it that otherwise truthful people will justify distorting the truth in certain situations? If being honest makes life simpler then why would anyone purposely complicate things by being even slightly dishonest?

There are numerous situations that will quickly test our resolve to be completely honest. The tendency seems to start when we are children and we want to avoid punishment. Fear gets the better of us and we say something in an effort to avoid the consequences of whatever it was that we did. If it works, then we just saw proof that lying is less painful and requires less courage than honesty.

What a tangled web we weave, when first
we practice to deceive!
 ~Sir Walter Scott

Since moving away from pain is the strongest human motivator, we quickly learn to fall back on dishonesty anytime we think it will spare us from painfulconsequences. For some, this tactic is reserved for only the stickiest of situations. For others, lying becomes their strategy of choice and as long as they don’t get caught they feel no guilt or remorse.

Common justifications for being dishonest.

Besides avoiding the consequences of our actions, there are a wide array of seemingly more noble reasons to avoid total honesty, such as…

– Trying to spare someone’s feelings or pride.
– Not wanting others to think badly of us.
– Afraid that someone might steal our recognition.
– Thinking that we are protecting someone.
– Protecting our ego by avoiding embarrassment.
– An effort to help others save face.
– Our image or reputation is on the line.
– We dislike someone but don’t want them to know.

At first glance, we might feel that these are all perfectly legitimate reasons to bend the truth. After all, isn’t it for the greater good? Well, buying into that kind of twisted reasoning is the same as saying that the end always justifies the means. In other words, it is okay to do something wrong as long as it gets you the results you want.

Why do you think it’s called justification?

Anytime we need to justify our actions, we already know we are doing something wrong. Making excuses may soothe our logical mind temporarily, but it doesn’t do anything for the internal conflict that is created. When we deliberately do something that violates our core ethics, it sets in motion a destructive emotional conflict. The end result will be the slow erosion of our core values or the manifestation of some self-sabotaging behavior.  Either way, we lose!

Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom. ~Thomas Jefferson

Justifying dishonesty for any reason is the same as lying to ourselves. When someone lies to us we feel insulted because they didn’t respect us enough to be honest. Do you really want to disrespect yourself by doing the same thing? Of course not because all it does is aggravate the problem. The next question we need to ask is: What does it take to avoid the self-deceiving temptation to distort the truth in these seemingly justifiable situations?

Honesty requires courage and tact.

Being honest requires courage because it makes us vulnerable and accountable. To avoid stepping on the feelings of others with our honesty also requires tact. Clearly, being truly honest involves more than just telling the truth in every situation, but for people of integrity it is the only acceptable choice.

Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is
telling the truth to other people.
 ~Spencer Johnson

When it comes to being honest in all areas there is probably no one alive who doesn’t have some room for improvement. Here are a few practical strategies to help you fine tune your efforts to develop the courage to be both honest and tactful.

5 ways to become even more honest and tactful

1. Set the record straight. Are there times when you have been less than honest in the past? Having the courage to review your past offenses may cause some discomfort, but recognizing where you have tweaked the truth in the past can help you identify patterns and stop them from continuing.

2. Practice honesty in the little things. There is a tendency to think that it’s okay to add a little harmless flare to the little things where nothing is at stake. The problem is, if we are dishonest in little things it will carry over into more meaningful areas. It is much better to develop honest habits in the areas that require less courage first so we can build up our integrity to face the more difficult challenges.

3. Honestly emphasize the positive. Just because we are being honest doesn’t mean that it’s our job to point out the faults and shortcomings of others. If we focus on the positive then our honest evaluation of people and situations can be both refreshing and encouraging.

4. Don’t confuse preferences with reality. It is easy to color our view of reality based on our personal likes and dislikes. To be honest with others we need to recognize that our personal preferences don’t change reality. They only change how we feel about certain things. Being honest doesn’t mean that we are obligated to express every feeling we have on every subject.

5. It’s okay to say nothing. If someone puts you on the spot and being forthright is not in anyone’s best interest, what can you do? Have the courage to tell them that you would rather not say. This can be difficult when they press you for an opinion. Still, you have the right to speak or remain silent. This is especially useful if someone is trying to pull you into a pointless argument or when someone’sfeelings are on the line.

Always choose the high road

Being honest may not always be the easiest or most convenient course and  that’s why courage is required. But honesty is the course of integrity. Regardless of the prevalence of dishonesty, we all have the freedom to choose to live by a higher standard. People of integrity will always recognize and appreciate your honestyand courage.

To be persuasive we must be believable; to be believable we must
be credible; to be credible we must be truthful.
~Edward R. Murrow

There is a strong and healthy trend toward transparency and honesty. People are tired of the cloak of deception that serves the selfish interests of the few while dragging down the many. We can all do our part by setting a good example, and by having the courage to be truly honest with ourselves and with others.

Do you think honesty requires courage?
Is life without dishonesty possible?
The lines are open!

 

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5 Self-Defeating Messages to Immediately Stop Telling Yourself.- Thousand Thoughts

defeating yourself

Is it too much to ask for? A comfortable home, freedom to jet away on relaxing vacations, success at pursuing your dream. I wanted it all, too.

After getting two fancy degrees in wildlife biology, I grew tired of field life. I was waking up at 4:00 every morning to haul 60 lbs. of mammal traps into the pine woods of Mississippi. On a good day, I’d collect data on my catch before it hit a hundred degrees outside.

When I found out that people made a living doing work they designed on their own, I was all in. I told myself it would have to be all or nothing, my wildlife job or my dream work. So, I quit my job, bought a url, and opened up shop.

I went through my savings in less than a year. I had zero income and felt like all I was doing was chasing my own tail and getting nowhere. The harder I had to work at my dream, the more I told myself that I couldn’t do it. Little did I know that it wasn’t my dream that was getting in my way. It was all the lies I was telling myself about how to actualize it.

Here are 5 dangerous messages that sabotage your success and how you can stop calling yourself a failure:

 

1. My dream won’t succeed until I quit my job

Thinking you have to choose between your job or your dream can lead to rash decisions. You can still enjoy your dream work, build the life you want, and make money on the side, even while you work your day job.Stop telling yourself that you can’t pursue your dream unless you leave your career. Working a job can afford you the time you need to grow your success slowly.

 

2. I’ll never be as good as everyone else

Comparing yourself to others only leads to someone else’s version of success. Only you know the life you want to build. Stop telling yourself that you’ll reach success exactly the way other people did. You are the only one who holds the keys to your own successful path.

“The most difficult times are the ones we give ourselves.” – Pema Chodron

3. I can’t start until I’m an expert

One of the biggest stumbling blocks to success is resistance to getting started. Don’t wait for all the lights to turn green. You know more about your direction than most other people do. Stop telling yourself that you’re not good enough to start. Use what you know and start your path of advancing toward your dream.

 

4. I’m a failure if I don’t succeed within a year

Defining your success by a restricted time line is one of the quickest ways to nose-dive. Whether your success is measured by going full-time with your dream, becoming profitable from what you envision, or pursing work you love, success happens in its own time. Stop telling yourself that you failed if you don’t reach your goals in a certain time period. Invest your time in strategizing what will get you ahead, not dreaming about time lines. Celebrate successful milestones along the way.

 

5. I don’t have the time to chase my dream

Telling yourself you don’t have time only shelves your dream before you even get started. We all have 24 hours in a day. Learn to manage your priorities, not your time. Stop telling yourself you need extra time to fulfill your dream. Take the time you have and do something different with it.

“You will never find time for anything. If you want time, you must make it.” – Charles Burton

Today, I work a job I love and build my dream in a smart, focused way. Struggling on my own taught me to practice my craft, respond to challenges effectively, and target my efforts where they count the most.

Following your dream is hard enough without telling yourself you’ll never make it. Don’t be your own worst spokesperson. Fashion your success according to what works for your own situation. Formulate empowering assumptions about yourself. Success isn’t established by the final outcome.

The only one who can determine your success or failure is you! What self-defeating message are you currently telling yourself and what are you going to do about it? Please leave your answers and comments below!
 
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6 Steps for Living Intentionally Each Day. – Thousand Thoughts

Most people fail to achieve their desired outcome, not because they lack the ability to do so, but rather because they are short on the fortitude to remain intentional in their given pursuit or endeavor.Live Each Day

Being intentional is really as simple as having a clear idea of what you want to accomplish, really knowing why you have deemed it worth your time and effort, and identifying what steps you’re going to take each day that will ultimately move you closer to where you want your life to go. If it sounds simple, that’s because it is.Don’t mistake simple for easy though. It will take effort. And that’s a good thing really, because as you move through the day to day tasks you’re going to be motivated along the way by everything you overcome that’s moving you closer to your intended destination. Simply put, when things are too easy — it’s very easy to become bored and end up not doing those day to day activities which are required to get us to the pinnacle of accomplishment that we are after.

Without a plan, without intentionality, we are like a ship at sea, floating aimlessly, waiting for the waves to move us whichever way they see fit to do so. That’s a pretty grim description isn’t it? Fortunately it doesn’t have to be your reality so long as you are willing to be an active participant in your own success journey.

So that I’m not just spouting off a bunch of theory here for you I’ll share some practical ideas you can put into practice in your daily routine. If you will put them to use you’ll join those that go from wishing things were better, to a person who understands that they have in them the ability to do what’s required to create positive changes in their own lives.

Here are the 6 Steps for Living Intentionally Each Day:

 

1. Begin each day in gratitude

This one may sound a little rah-rah to you, but it can really make a big difference with regards to how our overall day goes. Beginning each day from a place of gratitude has many benefits. Not the least of which is that we are forced to realize that there are good things happening in our lives. No matter how hectic things might appear, we do in fact have things to be grateful for. That in and of itself can make a big difference when facing the day ahead.

I like to think of it as rebalancing the things that are happening in my life. When we reconnect with the many reasons we have to be grateful, we inevitably come to realize that we have much to be thankful for. Just as we met with success in the past, so too can we expect to overcome whatever current hurdles we might be facing. It really is a great way to set the tone for your day.

“When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.” – Willie Nelson

2. Get some exercise

I’m not suggesting marathons or even anything heavy duty here (unless that’s your thing). As for me, I have found that going for a walk or jog shortly after waking up does wonders and literally pays dividends throughout my entire day. I used to put my earbuds in and listen to music or catch up on podcasts. I still do that sometimes, but recently I’ve begun splitting my exercise time, using the first part to enjoy silence and the second part to listen to some music or a podcast (i.e. learning time).

I find that starting out in silence allows all the thoughts that are running through my mind to germinate and work themselves out. I also like to use that time to strategize my day ahead, or projects I have to work on. I do keep a pad or use the note taking app on my phone to write the important thoughts that come to mind for later recall. Needless to say you want to consult with your doctor before taking on any exercise routine, but assuming you’re able this is one thing that can really be helpful.

 

3. Journal

This really is a terrific way to reconnect with what success means to you. As I said before, it’s important that you have a clear definition of what achievement looks like to you. It would amaze you just how many people run through their daily lives never fully celebrating their accomplishments along the way. One of the surest ways to avoid that is to track your day to day progress and have a mechanism for tracking your progress. Your journal allows you to do just that.

 

4. Write down your daily To Do/Actions List

Prioritize the things that when completed will give you the greatest results and outcome. Remember that not all things are created equal when it comes to achievement. For example, let’s say your position in the company or business you work in requires you to do both administrative related tasks, as well as generating revenue, or calling on clients to make sales.

Certainly, it would be important to accomplish everything that was required of you, but you would do well to give the income producing activities priority in just about every instance. To give another example, in my business it would be very easy to get caught up in the day to day tasks that pop up. While things like checking email, replying to requests, editing contributed articles and such are important, and need completing.

It’s much more important that I give priority to activities such as personal writing, scheduling newsletter issues to go out, making contacts with industry colleagues, and working with consulting clients. In short, I don’t neglect the less important items I identify that need doing, I just prioritize things by level of importanceand am careful to delegate the things others can do. Look for opportunities to do the same in your life and you are sure to benefit as a result.

 

5. Make time for learning

Be intentional (there’s that pesky word again!) about learning and improving your skillsets. We are either learning and open to new things or we’re getting stagnant. I’m not saying you have to fill your mind with worthless facts about things which hold no interest to you. What I’m suggesting is that you commit tolearning something new in your given profession, or an area you’re passionate about. Doing this on a consistent basis can move you into expert territory which can open up all sorts of new life opportunities. Plus, you get to grow your knowledge along the way.

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” – Dale Carnegie

6. Review your daily progress and rewrite the next day’s To Do / Actions List

This really speaks for itself. It’s one thing to identify what needs to be done, and why, but unless you keep those things front and center as a reminder it will be too easy to get sidetracked. I’m big on the saying, “what gets our attention, gets done, more often than not.

 

Remember that being intentional really gets down to making the decision to live your life with the realization that you have the choice to either live in reactionary mode, that is, reacting to things that life throws your way, or you can follow the steps shared above and lead an intentional life.

One that you plan out, take the necessary actions on, adjust to as needed, and ultimately feel a heck of a lot more accomplished for having made the decision to live your life in this way.

Remember, it’s your life, LIVE BIG! Thank you for reading my article!

Are You A Victor or Victim? 12 Signs You Have The Victim Mentality.

Victim-2

When was the last time you spent a day or two being the victim? Was it that you wanted something, and it just didn’t go your way or did someone hurt your feelings?

If that’s you, do not even start feeling bad about it.  We are all guilty of playing the victim at some point in our lives.

You like most of us react the same way when our feelings get hurt.  You feel insulted, disrespected, abandoned, humiliated just to name a few of the emotions you experience.

You are human, and human beings will feel those emotions but how long do they last?  Do you hang on to these emotions for lengthy periods of time? Do you tend to wallow in self-pity for days? Do you think the whole world is against you? Or Do you get yourself together, realize that you made a mistake and that some things are just not under your control and immediately start working to change your future?

“Learn from your past but don’t live in it.” – Steve Maraboli

I hope you choose the latter and work on making positive changes in your life. If you don’t, I have included a few of the tips that I used to become unstuck.

Here are 12 ways to become the victor and not the victim:

 

1. Recognize the self-loathing stage

When you start thinking that bad things only happen to you, and you are asking yourself why me, then you are in the self-loathing stage.

Change your mindset immediately.  Instead of asking yourself those questions, start thinking about what you can do to turn things around.  Thoughts like those only make you feel worse about yourself. Remember you will have to fix the situation if you want to make things right, so it is better to do so immediately than to spend time attacking yourself.

Refocus your mind on things that will take you from that low.  Think about the things that make you a wonderful human being.  Listen to motivational speakers, read positive quotes or find something to do that will take your mind away from your problems.

 

2. Recognize when you start looking back at the past with regrets

When you begin to focus on the past with regrets, it means you are heading down the wrong path.  Grieve for your mistakes and bury them.

You must realize that the past is behind you and never can be retrieved so you must move forward.  Looking back will only delay your progress.  The past is in the past for a reason, either you must continue to grow, or you need to change your focus.  Dwelling on your past mistakes and feeling down and depressed will only increase your suffering and ruin your chances for future successes.

Use the mistakes of the past, not only as a reminder never to go back, but also to see how far you have come.  You are over your past at this stage so applaud yourself for moving ahead.  You are now stronger and wiser because of those mistakes.  Learn from them and move on.  Your mistakes are not who you are as a person.  Separate yourself from the things you did.

 

3. Recognize when you are comparing your achievements to others

When you start comparing yourself to others, you view as better off you are playing the victim.

First you have to know who you are as a person.  There is no one else like you on this earth, and there will never be.  Even if you imitate everything they do, you will never be them, and you must accept that. Start accepting who you are and work on appreciating your gifts. Why would you want to live someone else’s life when you have yours to live?

You will never be happy being someone else so accept yourself and love who you are. Work on building your dreams and achieving your goals. Work to become the best version of yourself.

 

4. You aren’t happy with your success

When you start looking at your achievements and not seeing much, you are feeling sorry for yourself.

You must start celebrating your achievements no matter how small and insignificant they may seem to you.  Someone else would love to be in your shoes.  Do not diminish all the things you have achieved thus far as this will prevent you from appreciating anything else in the future.  Be happy where you are in your life and celebrate what you have.  That is exactly where you should be.  Keep working harder to get where you want but in the meantime celebrate your achievements.

Happiness is a choice so choose to be happy.  Work hard to achieve your goals, but choose to remain happy while doing so.  Don’t delay your happiness to achieve material things because they won’t make you happy.

 

5. You are becoming withdrawn

If you weren’t someone who liked staying away from others and you find yourself suddenly wanting to be by yourself, then you are playing the victim.

Never abandon the relationships you have and become withdrawn when you are feeling sad. You may be sad and disappointed but remember, we all at different stages of our lives, have been disappointed and heartbroken.  Abandoning your friends and family will only make things harder for you.

Make the effort to hang around positive people who will encourage and motivate you.  Stay amongst people who know and support you.  The ones who see the greatness in you and will encourage you.

 

6. You start placing blame  

When you start blaming someone or something for the state you are in, then you are becoming the victim.

You must realize that you are solely responsible for your life and your achievements.  It is no one else’s job to give you the life you want. Blaming others for the position you find yourself in will only prevent you from improving.  You must accept responsibility for your life.

Desist from blaming others and work to find solutions to your problems.  Blaming others will only create distance between you and others who could help you. Remember you cannot do it alone and placing the blame will only keep people away from you.

Accept that you have erred and work to improve your future.  Remember whatever you want, you can achieve if you are prepared to work hard enough.  You have your whole life ahead of you to make up for all your mistakes.

“As long as you think that the cause of your problem is “out there”—as long as you think that anyone or anything is responsible for your suffering—the situation is hopeless.” – Byron Katie

7. You see yourself as a failure

When you start seeing yourself as a failure then you know you are wallowing in being the victim.

You can never be a failure as long as you are prepared to keep fighting. You will sometimes fail like most of us have, but you must realize that failing at something doesn’t mean the end.  It might simply mean you need to pause, change your strategy or work harder.

Never think of yourself as a failure because things didn’t work out this time.  Keep doing it until you get it right.  Remember you only fail when you give up.

 

8. You are not able to forgive

If you are not able to forgive all those who have hurt or harmed you including yourself, then you are in a victim mentality state.

You must be prepared to forgive those who have caused you harm not for them, but yourself.  Most of the people who have done things to you might not even be aware they have caused you pain and even if they are aware, do not care.  Letting go of the hurt and pain does more good for you than anyone else.

You must also forgive yourself in the process for allowing others to hurt you.  You have given them your power and they have used it to hurt you. You need also to forgive yourself for your past mistakes.

When you forgive, you are giving yourself permission to be free.  You are allowing yourself the freedom to grow and succeed.  You are allowing yourself to live life to the fullest.

 

9. You have become angry and bitter

If you find that you are becoming angry and bitter, it means you are still in your victim mentality state.

No matter what happens in your life, you must make a conscious effort never to allow these things to make you angry or bitter.  You will be the one to suffer because of it.  You won’t enjoy life, relationships or your successes, as you will be too angry and bitter to appreciate the good things in your life.

Life knocks us all down sometimes, but you must understand that is life.  You are no different nor are you special when it comes to pain, disappointment and hurt.  We all have to go through hardship.

 

10. You stop caring about your appearance

If you find that you are no longer taking care of yourself, then you are in a self-destructive mode.

Your appearance is very important when you are going through difficult times.  You cannot afford to let yourself go.  Take care of yourself for you.

Find a gym or dance class if you like indoor activities and if you are more of an outdoors person start jogging or doing other outdoor activities. Choose clothes that fit properly and try not to become an emotional eater.  You must make an effort to eat well. Remember you are special and that will not change because you are going through a difficult time.  You will remain special through life’s ups and downs.

 

11. When you take rejections hard

If you find it very difficult to take rejections, it means you consider yourself a victim.

Nobody likes being rejected, but when you find that you take it too personal, then you are allowing the rejection to be who you are.  A person might reject you not because they have issues with you, but because they are having problems of their own.  People will critique you based on their perception of themselves.  Many times that has nothing to do with you and who you are.

You must be able to differentiate between someone critiquing your work and criticizing you.  You must also be able to take rejection for what it is.

“I am not a victim. No matter what I have been through, I’m still here. I have a history of victory.”  – Steve Maraboli

12. You are no longer taking risks

When you find that you are no longer willing to take the necessary risks to succeed, it means you see yourself as a victim.

To succeed, you must be prepared to take the risk that will enable you to succeed.  Without risk, you will not be rewarded. You cannot be afraid or lack confidence in your abilities that you are no longer willing to take the steps to achieve your goals.

Resist becoming a victim of any kind.  You must understand that you are special and being a victim will only rob you of the chance to succeed.

 

Take care of yourself and those you love.  Forgive those around you who haven’t been so kind and most of all forgive you.You do not have to become a victim ever in your life if you are prepared to remain the victor.The fact that you are still alive means you have already won.  You are a victor and will forever be one so start accepting who you are.

Thank you for reading my article! Which sign is your biggest action killer?

 

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