The statistics tell us that 80 percent of people in midlife are unhappy in their job.
They’re unhappy in their circumstances but they won’t do anything about it because of fear, old ways of thinking, being set in their ways, when the reality is they live their lives miserably.
According to the research by the U.S. Bureau of Labor and Statistics, April 2008, only 6% of the people who are unhappy in their jobs and contemplated a career change, actually made that change. Why would someone stay in a job especially during this stage of life with this unhappiness?
The following 5 mind blowing reminders can be the game-changer that can lead to a more productive, happier and fulfilled life:
1. You are more prepared than you know
Many people at midlife think they don’t know enough and the very thought of getting more education keeps them stuck. It scares them.
This is understandable because of their age and when they do the math based upon the traditional college time-table, it becomes daunting. It’s scary. However, starting with what you know and your experience, this thought becomes less of a factor to make the transition.
“Follow your passion, be prepared to work hard and sacrifice, and, above all, don’t let anyone limit your dreams.” – Donovan Bailey
2. You still have time
To think you are running out of time, can be stressful, scary and immobilizing. Time is one of the most important resources that a person at midlife has. It cannot be wasted.
With that in mind, thinking time is in short supply, and not taking action doesn’t change the passage of time. Five years will come and go no matter what you do.
Why not begin to take control of your life and decide how you’ll use that time? It’s going to come no matter what. The choice is you deciding how it’s spent or someone else does.
There are numerous amount of evidence to support the fact that many people made significant impact upon the world and became wildly successful, during the Midlife years.
Data from the Kauffman Foundation shows the highest rate of entrepreneurship in America has shifted with individuals between the ages of 54 and 64 representing 22.9% of the entrepreneurs who have launched businesses. This kind of data is one that is encouraging and hope giving.
3. You aren’t the only one
How often do we feel like we are the only ones who have to make decisions like these. We see this stage of life as unique, which it is, but at the same time present opportunities like any other stage of life.
It requires some risk but having had an enormous wealth of past experiences we are now equipped or better equipped to deal with what comes our way. We are mentally and emotionally conditioned having had our share of not so happy experiences.
Realizing you are not the only one, will help you to explore how others have done it and what you might be able to glean from them.
4. You don’t have to risk it all
Losing all your life’s savings or your only source of income and feeling more disposable because of your age, causes you to play it safe.
However, how safe is it when someone else is deciding your fate? You have a boss who could say to you, “I’m sorry but we are not longer in need of your service.” That could happen at anytime. To me that’s a very stressful way to live. Living that way is more risky.
However, you don’t have to transition in one day. You can lay the groundwork towards that by doing a little at a time. You could focus on personal development while you still work. You could tease out your idea of what it is you want to do to see if it is something that you’ll enjoy and if people are interested in what you have to offer.
You could volunteer in an environment that gives you a chance to do some of what it is you would like to do. It is taking little action steps towards your overall goal.
“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” – T. S. Eliot
5. You have more resources now than ever
The floodgates have been open. The guards no longer can keep you out. There was a time that getting access to people or other resources was an unsurmountable task. You had to wade through layers of people or procedures to get access to what you need. That’s no longer true.
Yes, there are still some “blockages” but these are not as significant as they once were to keep you from making things happen the way you want.
With the open access to the Internet and the incredible number of available tools to transact business and other ideas, it is so much more easier to connect with the “whole world.” This is why I believe with these 5 reminders makes transitioning at midlife a whole lot easier.
Which of these mind blowing reminders did you find helpful? What would you have added? Take a minute and leave your comment below.
Today I want to give you some strategies in case you ever have a little wobble within your business and start to wonder whether you are cut out for success. And when I say ‘you’ I am really speaking as much to myself as anyone. Tiredness, events not going quite the way we want them to, a lack of money or a dip in motivation can all lead to doubt, confusion and a creeping sensation that maybe we aren’t on the right path.
However if overall your business lights you up these are just testing times and we need to find ways of pushing through and getting to a more positive place. Therefore, I wanted to share with you the following six things to remember when your confidence evaporates.
1. You Deserve Success
Is that little voice of doubt speaking to you from the back of your head, you know the one – the one that says you don’t deserve success? Maybe it is telling you all the reasons why you aren’t good enough.
- You are too young
- Too old
- Not thin enough
- Not smart enough
- Everything you have ever tried didn’t work out
- Remember the time you messed up x, y or z – that’s only going to happen again you know
Don’t listen to that voice – you have totally got this and you do deserve to succeed, regardless of what you have said, done or failed to do in the past. I’m positive that a large percentage of people who have succeeded in all types of endeavours probably heard that voice all the way up to the point when things started to go their way. If you need help to conquer the negative voice in your head read Tara Mohr’s Playing Big (Amazon UK/USA).
2. Life is Short
If you don’t give this (whatever this is for you – a business, a change in career, a dream of something or someone you have always wanted to be) your best shot now, then what is the alternative? Give up and try it again in 5 year’s time? As I wrote in this post what spurred me on to change my life was the realisation that life is so, so short. Of course, I’m not saying keep doing the same thing over and over if it’s not working, you might need to change tack or try a new angle or get some assistance, but don’t settle, there’s just not enough time for settling. One quote which means a great deal to me and which was said in this commencement address by Jim Carrey, is:
“You can fail at what you don’t want so you might as well take a chance on what you love”
3. Mistakes are Essential
It is only by the mistakes we make that we learn to grow and find a better way. A baby makes thousands of so called ‘mistakes’ before he or she has even reached their first birthday. They make mistakes trying to walk, trying to find their mouth (no it’s not up there on top of your head) and even trying to express themselves with their first words. But we don’t tell them they are losers or failures (like we sometimes tell ourselves) we give them love, we point them in the right direction and ultimately they always get it right. Our mistakes are just ways of helping us to get to our destination too – let’s be a little kinder to ourselves.
4. Action Is Your Friend
If you are agonising over how to do something in your business – waiting until it is totally perfect before you move ahead – then this can cause you problems. Better to take action – just do something, make the first move and your momentum will carry you through. It doesn’t matter if your sales page isn’t 100% perfect or if that blog post could do with some work – better to have something out there in the world than nothing. Then you can refine and with each and every step you take you will improve.
5. Not Everyone Lives in an Instagram Home
I have talked about this before but comparison can be a really bad thing. I am super guilty of this because I look around at everyone else and I think they have a great home, great life, great children, they are super slim and fit and mega talented. And people probably do have – or are – some of those things – but not all the time. They have their doubts too, their insecurities, their problems. Clutter still builds up on their hall table and their shower isn’t as sparkly as in the advertisements.
The only antidote I have found for this is to be super grateful for what I have now (and no, I am far from perfect at this) but if you really start to examine all the positives it takes away a little of the edge of the comparison you feel. Think about your health, your friends, your family, your pets, the super nice people you have met online…..see you feel better already
6. Think About the Now
All we have is the present moment. Our fears can run away from us and tell us all the worst case scenarios, but those thoughts are just that – thoughts. Just as something terrible could happen, it’s equally likely that something wonderful might be on the horizon. The way we can influence that is by bringing ourselves back to the present moment.
Decide what we can we do today to move even one step closer to where we want to be – then go do it.
Oh and while you are doing it, remember point 1 – you rock and you totally deserve this. Rinse and repeat until suddenly your energy is back, you are filled with enthusiasm again and that little wobble is forgotten.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this post – please do leave a comment below. And if you liked it (even just a little bit) please could I ask you to do me a huge favour and click to share it on Twitter (it’s all set up and ready to go). Thanks muchly!
Your ability to acquire skills will determine your value in the market and the level of impact you can have in the world.
While learning any skill can be useful, some skills are more valuable than others. When it comes to deciding which skill to learn, you should focus on skills that are transferrable to other skills.
For example, you could learn how to knit but there’s not too many ways you can transfer those skills to your life. However, if you were to learn how to speak Spanish, these skills can help you improve your communication skills, career opportunities, and the ability to speak with people you never could have before.
Here are 7 skills you should learn before you turn 50:
Negotiating is one of the most important skills you can learn, and a skill you can apply in every aspect of your life. Whether you want to grow your business, make more money, or have more control over your life, learning to negotiate effectively can help you get there.
Developing your negotiation skills can also help you develop empathy, listening, and sales skills. The question is, how do you start developing negotiation skills?
Where to learn: The best way to start negotiating is to start small. While reading books can help you, you don’t want to get stuck in “learning mode”, and instead embrace the “learn as you go” mode. You could literally practice negotiating anywhere, from your local flea market to a street vendor, where negotiating is more acceptable.
“The best move you can make in negotiation is to think of an incentive the other person hasn’t even thought of – and then meet it.” – Eli Broad
Learning to play an instrument can not only impress your friends (or your date), but it can help improve your cognitive skills. Playing an instrument has been shown to increase your concentration skills, which is an increasingly important skill in the distracting world we live in.
If you’re new to the music industry, you can check out this article to know which instrument you should play.
Where to learn: You can find a local teacher that can meet up with you in-person on craigslist or Kijiji, and have them come to you. Or if you’re a busy person, you can check out these list of websites to learn different instruments online.
3. Public speaking
Public speaking, according to Warren Buffett, is one of the most important skills you can learn to advance your career.
Being able to communicate effectively can positively impact nearly everything you do in your life, from your career, relationships, business — the list goes on. Not everyone is born a great communicator, and it’s a skill that can be learned and developed by anyone who’s committed.
Where to learn: Join a local Toastmasters organization in your city, and you can start to practice your speaking skills and receive constructive and immediate feedback from a supportive community.
4. Personal finance
This one is quite underestimated by most people, especially recent college graduates. No, it’s not a sexy topic to learn, but none of the dreams and goals you have will come true if you don’t master this skill.
Being able to manage your own finances is the first step to achieving freedom. Instead of ignoring the issue, we have to confront our fears or ignorance, and take control of our budget.
Where to learn: This is one topic where being educated is a great place to start. You can read books on personal finance, check out personal finance bloggers, and even go see your personal accountant.
5. Speed reading
Bill Gates has shared that if he had one superpower, it would be the ability to read faster.
Time is the most important and limited commodity that we have. Learning how to read faster can save you dozens of hours per year, even hundreds if you’re an avid reader.
Where to Learn: You can take a free speed reading course online, or you can use technology such as Spritz to increase your speed.
If you want more success, then you must surround yourself with people that have achieved what you want to achieve. This could be a mentor, coach, or advisor that can guide you to where you want to go and even see blind spots that you may miss.
In order to become a better networker, especially with high-profiled individuals, then you need to learn how to bring value first. The rule of thumb is, the bigger the person you’re targeting, the more value you need to deliver upfront before asking for anything.
Where to learn: The best way to learn how to network is to watch how other successful people network. In order to do this, you need to attend industry conferences, networking events, and get in front of these people in-person.
7. Learn a new language
As the world becomes more globalized, we’re quickly entering a multilingual era. Twenty years ago, you could get away with knowing just one language. But today, with businesses going global, traveling becoming more affordable, and countries becoming more multicultural, it’s not enough to know just English.
Learning a new language can help improve your career, grow your business (especially if you’re targeting non-English speakers), and even build your confidence. If you’ve went your entire life speaking only one language, then learning a popular language like French, Mandarin, or Spanish can open yourself up to a world of over 500M – 1 Billion people.
“Study a foreign language if you have opportunity to do so. You may never be called to a land where that language is spoken, but the study will have given you a better understanding of your own tongue or of another tongue you may be asked to acquire.”– Gordon B. Hinckley
Where to learn: You can take advantage of websites like Rype, offering unlimited one-on-one Spanish lessons online, or if you want to dip your feet into the pool, start off with free mobile apps like Duolingo to get started.
Which of these skills have you yet to learn? How will you learn these skills?We’d love to hear from you below.
Source: Addicted To Success
Many people approach life with the perspective that life is just hard and dreams are for fools. Although there are unavoidable challenges, they don’t have to define your existence. If you embrace these 17 principles, they will actually change your life.
1. Celebrate your victories.
When something positive happens, take some time to celebrate. It could be as simple as dinner with your team or as elaborate as a vacation away with your spouse. Celebration reminds you that effort deserves reward.
2. Embrace change as an agent of growth.
Be the person who looks forward to change. If it’s time for a new career or a move away from home, get excited about the possibilities! Taking advantage of change will put you ahead of the pack. Success comes from being a change initiator.
3. Design the life you want.
What happens this year depends what you plan. Set aside time at the beginning of the year to decide how you want things to look at the end. Look at all major areas: family, career, health, and social relationships. Create small actions to carry out daily, weekly, and monthly to make it happen. Review and adjust regularly as you progress.
4. Live each day with determination.
Setbacks will come. You must determine ahead of time that you will move forward no matter the circumstances. At every point of decision ask yourself, “Will this move me closer to my goals?” If not, then set it aside.
5. Exercise regularly and vigorously.
There is no feeling like the high just after a great workout. In addition, a healthy body makes everything easier. Put together a fitness regimen with physical goals. Maybe you could run your first 5K or join friends in a regular game of basketball. Just get out and move.
6. Make friends with failure.
Success is only reached through failure. Don’t just embrace failure, run toward it. The faster you fail, the faster you succeed! When you get rejected, you learn what doesn’t work and how to adjust your tactics.
7. Have faith that you’re not alone.
Know there is more to this life than you can see. Work to help others have hope.
8. Prioritize your family.
Love your family and be there for them. Give them the best of your time each day. Success is of no value unless it can be shared with those you love. Remember that family can be more than just those related by flesh and blood.
9. Make fear your target.
Fear is often a construct of our own minds and only has the power given by us. Fear feeds on time so move quickly toward your goals and fear will be left behind. Look back on your life. You’ll see every great success came by running through fear.
10. Forgive others and yourself.
Resentment only hurts the person who holds it in their heart. Forgive those who have wronged you and you will be the one to feel freedom. Above all, forgive yourself.
11. Shower the world with grace.
Assume others mean you no harm. Grant them grace when they fail. Follow the Golden Rule and treat them as you would like to be treated.
12. Commit to continual growth.
Most people stop learning when a teacher is no longer making them. Without growth, stagnation is inevitable. Take time every day to feed your mind and soul by reading and listening to positive information. What you accomplish depends on what you’re telling yourself. Growth fuels success by opening your mind to greater possibilities.
13. Choose to be a person of joy.
How much you enjoy life depends on how much you decide to enjoy life. Remove negative influences, whether they’re people or media. Choose to love life. Share your joy with others and your own will increase.
14. Center your life on peace.
Give yourself regular times of peace to rest and reflect. Get enough sleep to renew your mind and body. Allow yourself opportunities to step back from the hard work of building your dream to maintain a healthy balance.
15. Find and live your purpose.
Take time to reflect inward on what gives you the greatest joy. This is likely your purpose. Use it to make the world a better place. Find ways to improve the lives of others and lighten their burdens.
16. Release your past for good.
Let go of anything from your past that is holding you back. Harboring old hurts, abuses, or pain will only slow you down. Don’t let what others say or think slow you down. Release it and know that you can start again and have the success you believe is possible.
17. Take action to change your life.
Nothing else matters if you don’t take action. Determine that 2016 is the year you will do something, every day, that brings you closer to the dream you have for yourself and your family. Take action … and do it now.
Do you feel stuck in life? Maybe something’s holding you back, but you don’t quite know what it is.
You look at successful people of the world wondering what they did differently. Let’s face it, a lot of us feel held back by our current circumstances and in order to cope we become numb.
But, numb is not the answer. Now is not the time to give up. You’re already going through hell just to get by. Why don’t you channel that pain towards something greater? Once you’re to-the-core hungry, you become an unstoppable force. But first, let’s get real with why you’re still not quite there yet.
Here are 5 reasons you’re still not hungry enough to go all in towards your dreams:
1. You blame everything on others
At times, life will test you beyond your limits. You’ll be left wondering what prompted things to go so far south. And when you’re standing there amidst the ashes, you’ll have the opportunity to either play the victim of your circumstances or rise above.
Whether it be the corruption of a rigged system or the intended evil from others around you, others may in fact be to blame. But, what good does it do to focus all of your attention on the frauds of this world? Instead, decide what’s worth calling out and what’s worth forgetting.
“People spend too much time finding other people to blame, too much energy finding excuses for not being what they are capable of being, and not enough energy putting themselves on the line, growing out of the past, and getting on with their lives.” – J. Michael Straczynski
2. You blame everything on yourself
On the other end of the spectrum, if you fault yourself for everything that’s going wrong, it’ll be slow suicide to your mind. At times, it’s worth it to take a hard look in the mirror and understanding what you could do differently, but give yourself a break.
Sometimes, life is out of your control and you can’t keep beating yourself up. Would you be that cruel to someone else? Why don’t you start treating yourself more like a best friend and less like a punching bag.
3. You ask for permission
So no one gave you permission to do what you really want to do? No one read your mind and decided to hold your hand through the process? Well, so what! If it’s really your dream, you’re not going to sit around waiting for someone to tell you to get started. Once you want it bad enough, you don’t need others’ permission. You’ll just start moving.
“Dream and give yourself permission to envision a You that you choose to be.” – Joy Page
4. You let people get to you
Let’s face it, there will be countless haters, doubters and small-minded individuals that try to deter you from your dreams. When there’s no playbook written out, their opinions might make you think twice. But, they’re often telling you you’re crazy, because they regret not making the sacrifices to work towards something greater themselves.
Nothing hurts more than seeing someone else do what you wish you did. Forget their small minds and focus on becoming the person of your dreams. Trust me, you can laugh at them later.
5. You gave up on what matters most to you
Only you know what really matters to you in this life. Never settle in pursuing just that. You owe it to yourself. Don’t look back knowing that you didn’t listen to your gut when it was telling you to go a different path.
Once you’re truly hungry, you’ll make the sacrifices necessary to pursue your dreams. It won’t matter what others will think, do or say. What will matter is that you’re doing what you were meant to do.
The world needs more people that don’t give up. Will you be one of them? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!
The article first appeared on Addictedtosuccess
As I opened the door to the shrink’s office both my hands were shaking non-stop (this was an everyday occurrence). It was one of the darkest times of my life, and I couldn’t see where I would end up. I thought to myself in this moment, “am I going mental? Isn’t this where crazy people end up?”
The doctor told me I was very sick, and struggling from a whole host of self-inflicted medical issues of which anxiety was the strongest. I took the last of the money I had at the time to pay for five sessions with the shrink.
It was now session number five and all I had done so far was talk about myself and have him shake his head. I started thinking that it was all a waste of money. In this last session, it was time for the shrink to give me his verdict and send me on my way.
He said one paragraph that changed my life forever. He said, “Tim my diagnosis is that you have all the tools already to overcome your anxiety issues. You have already taken significant steps, and I didn’t instigate any of it. “
He then continued to say “everything you need to turn your life around is already in your own head, and you are one of the smartest young men that has ever walked into this office. Stop second-guessing yourself and keep taking the small steps towards reducing your anxiety. I see great things ahead for you, young man!”
His words were so powerful, yet all he really did was reconfirm the action I was already taking and believe in me. It was nice that someone other than myself saw what I was capable of. This one idea is something that can transform almost anyone’s current level of success.
The story above occurred before my personal transformation a few years ago when I used to suffer from severe anxiety. It involved predominantly experiencing daily anxiety followed by depression and any other mental disorder you can think of. It was fuelled by my ever-increasing stress levels caused by my obsession with business, family issues, and my life heading in the wrong direction.
In this article, I am going to explain to you how this anxiety elevated my entire life to the next level. Now that you have read a bit about the anxiety I used to suffer I want you to understand that this is very normal, and lots of people have the same thing. Anxiety is nothing to be afraid of.
I am now in a fortunate stage of my life where I don’t experience the effects of anxiety anymore, and I believe any mental illness can be unlearned and used to motivate you.
Below are the twelve inspiring ways my anxiety elevated my life.
1. It made me get involved in personal development
Without my previous anxiety disorder, I would never have taken up a commitment to personal development. The way to overcome anxiety (and any mental disorder) is through constant personal development each day.
Back then, I realised that I needed to change my state of mind, so I began listening to Tony Robbins and then that led to a whole host of others like Zig Ziglar, Eric Thomas, The Wolf Of Wall Street, Jim Rohn, etc.
Most of my life, while listening to mp3’s and for the entire day, I would always have the curtains shut, and my office and bedroom were usually in total darkness.
Around the same time that I took up personal development, a strange thing happened: the curtain in my bedroom broke. This seemingly insignificant event meant that in the short term I had to keep the curtain open continuously. This changed my sleep pattern and had a real effect on me.
Shortly after, the curtain in my office broke. It was like it was supposed to happen and was a divine moment. To this day, both curtains are still broken and have to be kept open at all times. This small reminder each day serves as an anchor for where I am taking my life and how anxiety has helped me.
Anxiety can inspire you to do lots of things, but the best thing I have found it can do in my life is to inspire you to take up personal development.
2. It can teach you to think in the now
As I researched what anxiety was and how I could overcome it I figured out a simple concept; anxiety is thinking too much into the future and depression is thinking too much in the past. When I carefully analysed each day I realised that I was thinking about events that were way into the future and hadn’t even occurred yet.
Once I started thinking of these future events, I would then begin to stress about them in advance. The key to overcoming anxiety and using it to inspire you going forward is to stop the habit of stressing about things in the future.
Learn to think in the now and not try and control things that haven’t even occurred. Most of the time the events I was stressing about never ended up happening or turned out in an entirely different way. All of this time spent stressing on the future was wasted and made me tired constantly.
3. It got me reading books
Anxiety has inspired me to do lots of things but one way it elevated my life was to encourage me to take up reading. For many years, I never read any books because reading small words hurt my eyes and I didn’t have the concentration or focus (probably due to all the sugar).
After my experience with anxiety, I discovered that reading was a great way to heal my mind, and so I began reading books on an iPad which didn’t hurt my eyes. I mostly read motivational books and autobiographies of people who had done amazing things in their life.
This simple act started to rewire my brain, and it became the foundation for the success trajectory I am still on. It was a calming way to go to sleep each night rather than stressing about future events or having the TV yell at me about how bad the world was, and how horrible people could be.
4. It helped me quit coffee and alcohol
During my anxiety period, I learned to wake up with two or three coffees in the morning, have a soft drink for lunch, and then bring myself back down again with alcohol at night. Up until this point, all the references society had given me made me think this way of life was normal.
Through reading, I quickly figured out that these things were fuelling my anxiety even further and that I had to give them up. As I slowly kicked these bad habits, my state of mind shifted. I stopped making poor decisions and behaving badly as a reaction to my lack of energy and lethargicness.
5. It made me start tracking my success
Often when you try and overcome anxiety, it feels like you are making no progress. One thing that anxiety taught me was that it’s important to track your success. In the short term, I began to keep a note on my iPad of all the times I had successfully conquered anxiety.
Within a few weeks, I realised I was making a lot more progress than I had previously thought. Unless you write down your win’s, you will never know just how good you are!
6. It taught me to gamify my life
A cool outcome from the anxiety crushing process was that it taught me to play games with myself. As I kept a list of wins, I started to think of ways to increase my winning score and have even more successful situations.
I have later used this same technique to inspire me to write articles by keeping score of my progress and how well I’m doing. The concept of gamification is a great way to fast track any component of self-development. Gamifying your life is much better than wasting your time on computer or smartphone games.
7. It helped me to take control
Through the anxiety process, I discovered that the major driver behind anxiety is control. Anxiety is something that can take control of your human operating system and leave you without the power to make decisions yourself.
This concept empowered me to take back control and not let anything control my destiny. Instead of letting others make decisions about what I was going to do each day, I became stubborn and insisted on taking back control on even the smallest decisions.
Until you take back control of your own decision-making ability, you will never reach the pinnacle of success.
8. It reconnected me to the habit of learning and sales
Anxiety showed me that learning is so important, and it can help us to achieve anything and even overcome mental illness. The way I overcame anxiety, if you break it down, is through learning new ideas, unlearning bad habits, and relearning what made me successful in the first place.
You need to learn new ideas from inspiring individuals around you (or blogs like this), have the discipline to acknowledge your current bad habits and beliefs, and relearn the things that you have forgotten.
So in my personal transformation I used self-help content to learn new ideas, I wrote down all my bad habits and conquered them one by one, and I relearned how to sell by taking an entry level job in sales for a short time. I want to focus on the relearn component for a minute because this was something that had the biggest impact on me.
When people ask me what made me successful as an entrepreneur, for a long time I had no idea. Through overcoming anxiety, I learned that sales is where all my success started from. I learned that sales equals confidence, and confidence drowns out anxiety.
Do you see the benefit of severe anxiety and what it can do for you yet?
9. It showed me the power of meditation
I didn’t actually discover meditation until after I cured the majority of my anxiety but it’s a great way to relax. Meditating, as part of the cure for anxiety, is now common practice although a few years ago it wasn’t that well known when I was going through my own treatment.
Essentially, meditation helps bring your mind back to the present and allows you to re-focus. The easiest way to try it is using an app like the one I have called “Calm.” I find that when I am required to produce moments of inspiration, meditation allows me to settle the mind and prepare for greatness.
Part of my new found inspiration has a lot to do with what anxiety did to my mind and how meditation helped to remove those mental roadblocks. I’m sure it can help you too.
10. It changed my work life
Anxiety helped me to elevate my life by first of all crippling everything I had, and then allowing me to come to the decision that my day-to-day work life had to change drastically. If it weren’t for anxiety I would still be stuck in the same work that I hated, with the same people that brought me down, and the same old beliefs that weren’t serving me.
What you do to earn a living each day has a lot to do with how inspired you are and where your life is heading. It can be tough to change your work life unless you have an event that forces you to quit and start again. Hopefully, if you’re lucky, that event may lead you down the path of entrepreneurship.
If not, that’s okay; there are still many wonderful things you can do to contribute to mankind and discover your purpose for being on earth. After all, you only get one chance at life so use it wisely
Severe mental illness can be the trigger for something new, and all success starts with some sort of challenge or pain first. Anxiety was very much the seed of greatness in my life, and it can do wonders for you if you get the lessons from it.
11. It made me realise everyone suffers from a degree of anxiety
Have you ever seen someone toot their horn or swear at another person? The chances are that they probably suffer from anxiety to some degree. Anxiety can make you very frustrated and cause you to take this frustration out on other people.
During my anxiety days, I was often angry at the fact that I had to deal with this issue and thought I was one of the only ones. What I now know is that lots of people have this mental illness and that it’s what fuels most of the negative people you engage with on a daily basis.
Once I learned to identify anxiety and crush it, I found myself being much nicer to people and less frustrated.This resulted in lower levels of stress, more happiness, and a sharp increase in my overall mental and physical health.
“We are all infected with anxiety, but we have the vaccine already inside of us” – Tim Denning
12. It taught me to be more vulnerable
The biggest lesson I got from my dance with anxiety was that it can help you elevate your life further by teaching you to be more vulnerable. The only way to overcome anxiety is first to admit to yourself that you have it, and then to seek advice by being vulnerable enough to talk to another person about it.
Without courage, you will never elevate your life to the next level. Courage involves you accepting that you need to get vulnerable on a regular basis.
You need to do things that are difficult, and produce the good kind of anxiety, all with the acceptance that you could fail and learn a great lesson at the end of it – what a horrible thing that would be
What major event (like severe anxiety) has helped you elevate your life? Let me know in the comment section below or on my personal Facebook and Twitter Pages.
Author: Tim Denning
Source: Addicted To Success
There may be many reasons why you are not experiencing the success that you wish you had and if you don’t know what they are – here’s a clue.
What is your story? No matter what it is that we do in life, we create a story about it with ourselves as the main protagonists and we carry our story around with us – even if it doesn’t serve us. “I can’t succeed because”…or…“this happened and so….”
These stories might seem like the truth, even factual, but it is what it is – a story, which you believe and live by. One of the best ways to understand this is to consider the survivors of the Hudson River plane crash for example. Each survivor was part of the same experience and yet each person framed (and internalized) the event in a very different way – they all have different stories.
There are those who were traumatized and to this day refuse to fly again, and those who saw the crash as a second chance to life and refused to be limited by the experience. Each survivor’s future actions were shaped by their stories of the experience just as your actions are influenced by every singly story that you tell yourself.
Stories do not necessarily reflect facts
The thing about stories is that they tend to be subjective, you might not like to hear that, but it’s the harsh truth and so taking them for granted as unchangeable truths about ourselves is incredibly limiting and it will affect your success.
Your story is not the ultimate truth, you are focusing on your symptoms of the story, rather than on the event itself. Take, for example, a person who has had a bad experience pitching their business idea to seemingly uninterested potential investors. Two of the possible stories that this person might tell themselves are:
- Story A: The investors weren’t interested because my business idea is horrible and no one will ever want to invest in it.
Story B: Perhaps the investors weren’t interested because I didn’t pitch the idea well enough, or perhaps they just weren’t the right investors.
Same experience, two different stories. In both cases, the person is likely to feel disappointed and demotivated; these are the stories symptoms. But depending on which story that person wants to believe – they will take actions aligned with it.
Take a moment and think about the stories you tell people; the habitual stories that give you a ‘way out’ of something. What would it feel like if you decided to rewrite the story to something more empowering?
It is often necessary to change a story in order to be set free from it, instead of trying to change the symptoms. This is what people don’t get. They try to change the symptoms but it’s the story that you keep telling that brings you the same results.
One of the most challenging parts is actually being conscious and aware of your stories. Most people are in self-denial that they even have stories.
Is your story what you would like it to be?
What’s your story? Think about the different stories that have shaped the way you view your life and the actions you take. It could be a very specific story (for example, if you’re an aspiring entrepreneur who is too intimidated to take risks) or a more general one (for example, if you’re an artist, blocking your own success because you’ve always identified with the “struggling artist” story).
If you’re tired of being stuck in one place and want more out of life, you need to create stories that will help you achieve your goals, instead of staying captive to the mindset and stories that are holding you back.
What story do you need to let go? What story would help you to create your ideal world instead? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!
Ever feel like you’re stuck in a rut? Maybe it feels like you don’t belong where you are, but you can’t find a way out. You’ve tried everything, but you just can’t see the light.
Countless self-help articles urge you to go all out in pursuit of your dreams, but this only leaves you feeling further from a life of fulfillment.
Your dreams might still be under construction, but you don’t have to feel pushed down by life any longer. You were not meant to just get by in life. You were meant for more. Life is full of ups and downs, but this does not mean that you should only aim to survive.
Remember those dreams you used to have? The ones that used to light your soul on fire? Don’t let yourself bury them any longer. Now is the time to finally start living, no matter what your circumstances may be on the outside.
Imagine looking back a year from now smiling at the fruits of your labor instead of wondering why you’re in the same exact place.
Below are 5 ways to finally start living out your truth not tomorrow, not the next day, but right this very second:
1. Listen to what your emotions are telling you
Stop stuffing down your emotions, telling yourself that everything is going to be alright and to just get through it. Please, just stop. Your emotions are meant to be a guide; a guide that can help you chart out your life in accordance to what truly matters to you.
We were not meant to be set on autopilot. We were meant to struggle and rejoice and paint the sky green. We were meant to feel alive. Whatever your emotions may be telling you, use them as clues in unlocking your truth.
“The artist is a receptacle for emotions that come from all over the place: from the sky, from the earth, from a scrap of paper, from a passing shape, from a spider’s web.”– Pablo Picasso
2. Stop thinking you need something else to be happy
Just decide that you are going to be happy with what you’ve got right now, today. While it is important to listen to your emotions, you must make peace with the things that you cannot change.
This does not mean that you are settling into your current lifestyle. This means that you are not going to make your life a living hell in pursuit of your goals. It’s important to have goals and dreams high enough that it takes some muscle, but it is also essential to realize that all we have is this moment.
Don’t look back on your life regretting that you constantly beat yourself up in search of some pot of gold. The gold is today, in this very moment. The gold is in how you treat others, in how much your roll up your sleeves when the going gets tough and in everything that cannot be seen.
3. Be so confident, no one can stop you
Confidence is one of the most powerful tools you could ever have and yet so few people actually have it. So, doesn’t it seem that if you could obtain your own self-confidence, you would go much further?
Once you decide to cut out the negative self-talk and commit yourself to becoming as confident as you can be, your whole life will change. With confidence, it is so much easier to get through obstacles in life.
Even more, confidence attracts the right people to you. It draws people in and makes them want to be around you. Make self-confidence a huge priority in your life and you will blaze a trail, instead of making every obstacle bigger than it is.
4. Demand respect
You may not be able to immediately change where you are in life and who you interact with on a daily basis,but you can absolutely demand respect from those around you. Without respect, you will not go very far. You will only dig yourself deeper in a hole that is not very easy to get out of.
Even when your voice shakes, make it a point to stand up for yourself. As a basic human right, we all deserve respect. Don’t be a slave to others who are not treating you right. Make the decision to love yourself first.
“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you.” – Lao Tzu
5. Build your bubble
Those who create their own destiny do not allow the negativity of others to creep into their lives. They draw lines where needed. Whether it be saying no to too many commitments or being firm against those who want you to join their pity party, you must immediately cleanse your life of the BS.
To live life on your own terms, build a bubble of what matters to you and what you will allow. While a great deal of life is out of our control, we must recognize what is in our power. We call the shots on what we are willing to put up with.
Stop making excuses and decide to take control of what you can. Start playing offense, instead of defense. This is your life. Once you believe you have the power to change it, a new world opens up.
How are you going to take control of your life? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section below!
Source: Addicted to success
In our fast-paced culture, dominated by technology and electronic communication, it’s easy to understand why we’ve lost so much human interaction, and left behind the small gestures that can make people feel loved. We’ve abandoned feelings and emotions for convenience and speed, barely ever leaving thoughtful notes for someone we care about, because texting is so much faster.
A recent AskReddit thread is giving everyone the warm fuzzies, posing the question, “What small gesture makes you feel enormously loved?” The answers span a wide range, from forehead kisses and backrubs, to two strangers exchanging a smile, to addressing someone by their name when you’re talking to them. Some appear seemingly casual, while others signify a momentous shift in someone’s life. It was a slap in the face in the best way possible, reminding me just how important the “little” things are — and how maybe they aren’t so little after all.
This thread reminds me of the times my boyfriend has walked in the apartment with flowers, for no reason at all; or the time he bought me expensive coconut ice cream because I couldn’t have any diary. Then I ate all the coconut ice cream and he was like, “Megan, WTF.” Still, though — worth it.
What small gestures made you feel loved? Here’s what some people had to say.
1. Handwritten Love Letters
Knowing that someone took the time to write you a letter — when they could’ve texted or emailed — is truly heartwarming. Handwritten letters are good for the giver, too! The activity has been shown to increase motivation, decrease stress, and improve your overall mood and well-being.
2. Really Caring About Your Day
What makes this so fascinating is how little we’re actually communicating with words. When someone asks about your day, remember that only seven percent of your answer is delivered to them verbally. The other 93, they get from tuning in to your tone and facial expressions.
3. Totally Relaxing Physical Affection
Not only does it feel incredible, but there is actual research that explains the mental and physical health benefits of physical touch. For example, it has been correlated with decreased violence, increased trust, a stronger immune system, greater learning engagement, and stronger bonds between people.
4. Remembering The Details
Science says that on any given day, the average person hears somewhere between 20,000 and 30,000 words — and of that, they only remember 17 to 25 percent! So when someone remembers something specific about you, you can know that they really do care.
5. Random Surprises
You can really brighten someone’s day with an out-of-the-blue gift or kind act. Additionally, it’s good for you! Research has found that doing random acts of kindness can improve your mood and relationship satisfaction, while decreasing anxiety and social avoidance.
6. Feeling Included, Because You’re Important
Some statistics have the divorce rate at 50 percent, with a whopping 75 percent later remarrying. Additionally, well over 1,000 new stepfamilies are forming every single day. With so many people coming together, it’s touching to know that it’s not just blood that makes you family.
7. Expressing Concern For Someone’s Safety
It’s a true friend who wants to make sure you’re safe and sound; and science has found that solid friendships encourage healthy behavior, boost self-esteem, and help fight off depression.
Spartanburg County, South Carolina suffered from one of the worst health rates a couple of years ago. With high pregnancy rates, high crime rates and high poverty rates, the county was headed in what seemed to be a horrible direction.
After much collaboration with nonprofits and other foundations, there was a big change in the health rates of Spartanburg. One of the biggest changes was the implementation of new programs in their detention center.
For a mass media and health class, I had the opportunity to visit the Spartanburg Detention Center and experience something that can only be described as life-changing. Each student took away something different from the experience, but here’s what I learned and what I’ll never forget:
1. Being in jail doesn’t necessarily mean you’re guilty.
One of the first lessons learned that day was there’s a difference between being arrested and being convicted. Most people who are put in jail are people who were arrested and are awaiting their court date, not actual convicted felons.
After their court date, if these people are proven not guilty, they can continue with their everyday lives, granted they’re not placed on probation. This was essential to understanding the people we would encounter during our tour. We were about to encounter possibly innocent citizens who are sitting in a jail cell because they don’t have enough money to bail themselves out.
In a similar light, there are people who actually committed a crime roaming freely around the county because they were wealthy enough to bail themselves out. All they have to do is wait for their court date. This is extremely unfair, in my opinion, but this is just how our justice system works.
2. You eat where you sh*t.
Jail is no joke, and the inmates we talked to made sure we understood this. When the tour began, I didn’t think we would actually be able to walk around the jail and see how these people lived.
One of the first rooms we saw was a room for three female inmates. The sheriff asked them to step outside for us to see it, but there was really nothing to see.
All these women had was a small room equipped with a bunkbed, a twin-sized mattress on the floor next to them and about 3 feet of space between each bed.
There was a small sink and a small toilet. There is no cafeteria at the detention center, and the food is delivered directly to their cells. There was absolutely no room for activities that involved any kind of physical movement.
3. You can’t judge circumstances you’ve never experienced.
As soon as the sheriff asked the three women to step outside, they respected his orders and walked out, backs against the wall. One of them was holding a book, which is not something I would typically expect from an inmate.
When the sheriff asked them to say a few words to the young women touring the detention center, what they had to say changed my perception of them almost immediately. They were all mothers. One of them had been in jail every year since 2007.
“And why do you think you keep coming back?” asked the sheriff.
“Drugs,” she said.
Her voice, her sad eyes and her story were powerful enough to make me view her differently. And that’s when it hit me: It’s wrong to judge someone before hearing his or her story.
4. It’s never too late.
The Spartanburg County Detention Center has many programs that are used to encourage the inmates’ mental health. They implemented GED programs in which the inmates can earn a degree after participating for a couple of months.
The sheriff told us a story about a boy who was 23 years old. The court decided he was innocent, so he was forced to leave the facility before finishing his GED course. He begged the officers to let him stay and finish.
After many arrangements, he was able to graduate. The determination some of these inmates exhibited is something we all can take a lesson from.
This boy actually wanted to stay in prison in order to finish his education. That is admirable.
With determination, people can take the people they were and turn themselves into something entirely different and positive. They can become the people they want to be. With a strong mind and good intentions for oneself, anything is possible.
Many of these people are way beyond the point in their lives where they need to be worried about getting a GED, but they recognized it’s a necessary step in becoming successful in this world, especially after being arrested and imprisoned.
It’s never too late to go back to school or even teach yourself something new. It’s never too late to do something you’ve always wanted to do, but never could. And it’s definitely never too late to successfully become the person you always dreamed of being.
5. It could be anyone.
The sheriff who gave us the tour made sure we knew the risks of being an irresponsible adult.
“Every single person in this room is one bad decision away from ending up at a detention center,” he said.
Think about how many bad decisions we all make or how many bad decisions our friends make that can send them to a detention center, but these decisions (luckily) go unnoticed by the law. It’s important to think about that every time someone is about to make a irrational decision, like driving a car after one too many beers.
My trip to South Carolina was an extremely educational one. Anyone we know — even ourselves — may end up in jail because of the way our justice system is set up.
I’m not trying to minimize the actions of some of these inmates. Some of them have done a lot of bad things, and they know that. I’m trying to show our communities that just because someone is in jail or has been to jail, that doesn’t mean he or she is necessarily a bad person.
We need to make sure others know how important it is to never judge a book by its cover because you can never truly understand someone else’s circumstances. But, you can try and put yourself in other people’s shoes, just like I did by spending a day at the Spartan County Detention Center. At the end of the day, that makes all of us more human.
Author: Mercedes Leguizamon
Source: Elite Daily