Subconscious mind is that part of the brain that functions 24/7, but we essentially do not notice it. It holds a plethora of information that we may come across just once, but our brain processes it in our subconscious state of mind. This part of the brain does wonders to those who know precisely how to use it in a positive way. Don’t be wary of its power to bring changes in your life.
The Invisible Hand
There are billions of people in this world and all are different in one way or the other. However, there are areas where people also familiarize others. For instance, some people look similar, some study the same discipline, some are financially equivalent, and some struggle for similar desires and ambitions. You can find many people who are similar in every manner yet lead totally different lives.
It’s not hard to find two or more people who possess the same academic qualification, intelligence level, and goals in life. Nevertheless, the lives of each are likely to be significantly different from the rest of the people in the group. The underlying reasons behind variations in lifestyle and success/failure can be numerous. For instance, their social network, financial background, external stimuli or opportunities, luck, physical appearance, or maybe an invisible hand could be the reason.
One thing that is common in almost every successful person is his/her belief. They empower themselves with self-control, motivation, willpower, and discipline. Believing that you are entitled to success is not wrong if you keep working hard to achieve success. Wealth, fame, position, and peace of mind cannot be gifted to you, so you must admit that internal drive to achieve your goals is one big factor that can make your dreams come true.
Your subconscious mind is that powerful internal drive!
In order to use your subconscious mind and to make the most of its incredible power, you must know how to train your subconscious mind. Though it may be a bit challenging in the very beginning, you will develop the habit of working as per the required conditions.
The first step is to train your subconscious mind to solve problems. This is basically an attempt to improve your analytical skills. Whenever confronted with a problem which you cannot figure out the possible solution to, let your subconscious mind assume your conscious mind’s responsibility. All you need to do is to think about the problem for a while. You can also write a problem statement and keep reviewing it for a few minutes.
Instill the thought that you want your subconscious mind to derive out the possible solution to the problem. Now stop thinking about the problem altogether and just continue with routine tasks. A solution will eventually click in your mind within a few days; try it as it is highly likely to work out for you. This is how your subconscious mind helps you in resolving problems.
You can also go the other way around. Review the problem, think about alternative solutions, evaluate and weigh each one of them in terms of their respective pros and cons. Now stop thinking about it until your subconscious mind processes all alternatives to bring out the best option for you. Your analytical skills improve over time and with use.
Meditation holds importance with reference to training your subconscious mind. Get inspired by new beliefs, think about new ideas, and learn to believe in yourself. Meditation will help you achieve desired levels of mental focus and concentration so that you can gain cognitive power. It also enables you to enjoy the present, while planning for the future.
Repeated visualization is extremely effective in training your subconscious mind to enable you to accomplish targets. Set exciting goals, be passionate about them, and imagine the end objective on frequent basis like thrice a day or so. Your mind will then accept the visualization as a part of reality and you will start working to achieve the set goals.
Rapport is important in life. If I had only one interpersonal skill in an otherwise dull, boring personality, that skill would be rapport. No question about it. Rapport is that feeling you get when you look at someone and instantly think “I will get on well with this person.” Rapport is what bonds us. Rapport (pronounced “ra-Pore”) is often a difficult concept to grasp. If you want an example of rapport, look at this man’s face:
It’s the movie star Jackie Chan, sure, but ignore that for a second. Pretend you’ve never seen him before. Go on, stare at his face for ten seconds. What do you think he’s like, as a person? Do you think you’d get on with him? Try to guess, from looking at his face, if he’s a nice guy.
Chances are, you will think he’s a nice guy. Very approachable. Look at his head, how he carries it in a humble, slightly-downward angle,
yet the slight tilt shows warmth and kindness. His smile is mostly with his eyes, and he shows his teeth which tells us he’s genuine.
These, so subtle mannerisms help make up the concept of rapport, which can be your most powerful, formidable weapon.
Why? It doesn’t make a stranger think they like you – no. It makes a stranger actually like you. When people like you, they want to help you, give you business, introduce you to friends, spend more time with you, buy you lovely extravagant hats, and cook you delicious dinners.
So what’s happening in the brain when rapport occurs? When we see a nice smiling face, many things occur:
1. First the occipital lobes process the light that comes in into a recognisable picture that our brain can
understand. It then sends this picture to the thalamus.
2. The thalamus takes the picture and shoots it over to the frontal lobes where we become conscious
of the image. However, it also sends the information to many other places, such as the basal ganglia.
3. The basal ganglia interprets the face and makes unconscious “tags” – for example, the teeth being
shown in the smile is “tagged” as a boosted emotion. At the same time, the rising of various facial
muscles are each tagged as pleasure, happiness, enjoyment, and so on. This information is shot back
into the thalamus which (among other things) compares the information with some of that stored in
the rest of the limbic system.
4. The limbic system, hard at work, constructs these various tags into a mixture of various emotions, in
this case, pleasure.
5. The amygdala generates a mild sympathetic emotion of pleasure. If it wasn’t for this function of
being able to “feel other people’s feelings”, we would be unable to truly tell how other people were
In essence, when a person who we perceive to be “happy to see us” approaches, our unconscious mind generates a genuine “happy to see them” feeling. Quite often, however, our super-awesome frontal lobes decide not to show it back. Thus the cycle ends. It feels good to us but the person has no feedback. If we do show the feedback of being happy to see someone, it builds up and they get the feeling of “happy to see us”. This creates a genuine upward spiral of pleasure, until one of us decides to stop showing it. This mutual pleasure is the essence of rapport.
What Factors Help Me Build Rapport?
Rapport isn’t just about your facial expression – although that is clearly important. It seems a bit mechanical to build a list of factors that contribute to rapport, but I’ve never let that stop me before, so here it is.
With some practice, you can set these factors on “rapport mode”, if that makes sense? In my mind, I like to set my face to “rapport” to create what I call Rapport Facial Expression. You can do this with all the factors outlined below.
Rapport Facial Expression
Facial expression should be non-threatening, and certainly not dominant or smug. Confidence should be shown, but there should be no hint of judgement. In your mind you should say “I’m pleased to be here, I’m pleased to meet you and everyone, I accept you all for who you are.” This should unconsciously reflect in your facial expression. Smile genuinely at people when they approach; you should be genuinely pleased to see them.Take a look at the two faces below.
Both men are wearing suits, smiling. They are both facing slightly
to our right, and both smiling with their eyes. Yet one is giving off
vastly different rapport facial signals than the other. If you were to
meet these men for the first time, which one would you get along with better?
Clothing should not be too tight or show-offish. For maximum rapport, don’t wear muscle tops, revealing
dresses, or anything to “peacock” in a dominant manner. (Peacocking means drawing attention to
yourself with wild accessories.)
If you do want to peacock, wear something humourous or odd, such as a bright red shirt and an unusual
hat. If you’re dead-set on showing off your body, then do so in the most subtle possible. The key
is to look non-threatening.
Your stance should be alert and confident, with open gestures. Avoid putting your hands on your hips
or folding your arms. Do not press your knees or feet together, as this is a defensive posture.
Be willing to shake hands with everyone you meet. If you have sweaty hands, hold a napkin or spare
shirt in your right hand – no-one will question it. When it comes time to shake hands, swap the absorbent
item into your left hand and your right hand should still be dry by the time you shake hands.
You can tell a lot about someone just from watching their posture. Here are five examples of posture:
The legs are identical – all that changes is the position of the arms, shoulders and angle of the head.
Can you tell which picture matches which description?
1. Ashamed, shy, not confident
2. Alert, confident, perhaps even aggressively so
3. Neutral, non-threatening
4. Disappointed, bored, uninterested
5. Defensive, threatening, challenging
Building rapport through communication is where it gets very complicated. Given that there are millions
of different things you can say, mixed with millions of subtly different gestures and voice tones,
you have almost countless options on how to communicate verbally. And because each situation is
different, there is no one “right thing to say” that is always right across the board.
Good communication is built through experience, and is based on all the same rapport-building principles
we’ve looked at so far. Being warm, open, friendly and non-judgmental in your speech will all
help build rapport with someone. You’ll also need to adjust your communication based on the other
person’s mood, sense of humour, sense of urgency and level of comfort, among many other things.
For a quick reading of their mental state, focus on the three factors as listed above: facial expression,
clothing and stance.
The Article was Originally Posted on NLP Secrets.
In this post I’ve listed some of the most impactful techniques that will help you change behavior, get better results and attract more positive experiences.
It’s easy to react to something negatively and then become stressed or upset about it. For example, if your partner drives you crazy and you get angry in response.
The following NLP technique can help neutralize negative emotions in such situations. It can even cure phobias, because it allows to objectively view the situation.
Here are the steps:
1. Identify what emotion you want to get rid of, be it fear of spiders, uneasiness about some person or dislike of some place.
2. See yourself encountering the situation from start to finish, as an observer.
3. Play the same mental movie backwards, then fast-forward it and then play it backwards again.
4. Play it backwards and then add a funny music to the mental movie. Do this 3-4 times.
5. Now try to see in your mind the same event like it was happening to you now. The emotions towards the stimulus should have disappeared or changed. If you still feel some kind of negative emotion, keep repeating this exercise until the negative emotion has completely disappeared.
2. Content Reframe
This NLP technique works great when you are in a situation which makes you feel powerless, angry or when something negative happens to you. It changes the meaning of the situation making you think about it in a different, more empowering way. In other words, it allows you to put the content of the situation in a different frame.
Let’s say that you have just got fired from your job. That seems very bad when you think about it, but be willing to see other aspects of the situation. Because you lost your job, you now became open for better positions and you can explore different kinds of areas of work that can let you develop your other skills. This experience will also toughen you up and you will become a more courageous person. And when you look back at this incident after 10 years, you will simply laugh about it.
In this example I simply re-framed the content of what has happened. I’ve changed a view about the situation and took the focus off the bad aspects. This lets one see the situation in a completely new light and this makes it easier to make better decisions because the focus is on good aspects of the situation.
What people usually tend to do in such unexpected situations is panic and think fear-based thoughts. That can lead only to more problems and failures. You should take your focus out of the negative aspects of the situation and look for the benefits of the situation. There are always good and bad points of any situation and it’s much more useful to focus on the good ones.
Self-anchoring is mainly used in NLP to elicit some kind of emotional response to something that you do or say. For example, it is possible for the person to start unconsciously smiling when you touch his/her shoulder.
That’s very useful because you can instantly change how you feel. This helps in many situations, especially when you feel insecure or upset. You can simply anchor a positive emotional response and fire the anchor whenever you get upset.
Here’s a basic way to do it:
1. Identify the state you want to experience, be it happiness, courage or something else.
2. Do whatever it takes for you to get into such a state – body language can help here a lot, like sitting straight or intentionally smiling, or maybe remembering something good.
3. When you’re completely in the state, imagine a smoke circle on the ground and step into it. Feel absolutely great in the circle, bath in this beautiful energy.
4. Now step out of it and think something unrelated to the emotion you felt.
5. Then, after a few minutes, step into the circle again and observe your response. If the process has been successful, you should have the same emotional response as previously stepping in and being in the circle.
Rapport is a very important and quite easy skill to master that enables you to get along with any kind of person.
There are many ways to create rapport with people. You can follow the breathing patterns of a person, you can mirror his/her body language (not too obviously, of course) or you can use similar words that the other person uses.
You can also assess the person’s main sensory perception, be it, kinesthetic or auditory and then use the same perception yourself. You can do that by simply talking to the person and paying attention to what kind of words the person uses.
You know that the person’s main sensory perception is auditory when she uses phrases/words such as:
“I hear you”
“Her voice was loud”
“He scratched the surface”
“I’m listening to you”
You know that the person’s main sensory perception is visual when she uses phrases/words such as:
“I see what you mean”
“My vision is clear”
“Your future is bright”
You know that the person’s main sensory perception is kinesthetic when he uses phrases/words such as:
“I feel that it’s the right thing to do”
“I have a bad feeling about this”
“She had a pleasant vibe”
5. Belief Change
There are three types of limiting beliefs:
- Beliefs about cause
- Beliefs about meaning
- Beliefs about identity
They all influence how you view the world and filter out the bits of reality that doesn’t fit into your belief system. Your beliefs allow you to become aware of the aspects of reality that are in harmony with them. Beliefs are very powerful because they determine what experiences you will have in life.
Beliefs form because of the facts that you encounter relating to some experience. If you’ve had some negative experience and you dwelled on it, you would then start attracting more similar experiences that would reaffirm your rightness about the situation.
If you could straight away do a content reframe, you will not have formed the belief in the first place. But what most people do is keep dwelling on the bad stuff that happened to them and then they’re surprised when they keep encountering similar situations.
Any situation is neither good nor bad, only our thinking makes it so. So when you focus on the negative aspects of what has happened to you, you start forming a negative (which is always limiting) belief which will cause you to attract the experiences that would only affirm your limiting beliefs. So you are as though attracting facts that further deepen negative beliefs.
If the experience was negative and you focused on it, you’ve set a filter for further similar facts to reach you. For example, if you’ve been in a bad relationship you may start thinking that all men/women are the same.
To change limiting beliefs it’s necessary to gather more positive facts about the situation than negative ones. Then you will need to deal with negative facts and question if they really are facts.
Another way to eliminate negative beliefs is to spend five minutes a day affirming a completely different belief to your current one. This should be done when it’s quiet and you should completely focus on the affirmation. You should have no other thoughts or mental pictures in your head when you affirm your new belief. You should completely focus on your words and understand their meaning, rather than thinking about something else whilst affirming beliefs.
This is an extremely effective exercise because it allows you to lightly hypnotize yourself by entirely focusing on one sentence. Because of the induced hypnosis all the new beliefs go directly to your unconscious mind which is responsible for making your beliefs and thoughts a reality.
If you do this effectively, after 30 days or even earlier, your life will start reflecting the new belief.
If done properly, these five NLP techniques can change many aspects of your life. If some technique doesn’t seem to produce the desired effect, keep repeating the exercise until the wanted effect is reached.
These NLP techniques are very effective and work on everyone. It’s definitely worth taking a few minutes to try at least a couple of them. When you see the results, you will be more than happy to spend some time to apply them to all the areas of your life that need improvement.
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Behaviors that we engage in routinely and repeatedly are habits. Without these behaviors, life will be hard to function. We become efficient in performing complex tasks because we learned them; now they are internalized by us and we do them without thinking. For example, talking, playing an instrument, speaking, typing are skills that are now ingrained in our system. Our brain does not have to think and we are capable of performing these routine tasks without conscious efforts. Therefore habits are very useful for us but there are habits that we have formed which are not so productive and are considered bad. For example, scratching, nail biting, facial twitches, tapping, and shaking feet. These habits can be very annoying and unpleasant for others in social situations.
Habits like nagging, criticizing, attention seeking, manipulation can also be considered annoying; we engage in these activities without making any conscious effort.
However, they can backfire on us. It is important to break these bad habits for better interpersonal connections and social etiquettes.
Habits are learned behaviors so they can be unlearned with extreme dedication, persistence, and awareness. The more we engage in our habits the more they become entrenched and reinforced in our system. However, every time you try to do something different from your habits, they tend to weaken them and the new alternative behavior gradually becomes strengthened with repeated use. Habit breaking involves step by step approach.
There are six steps to breaking habit according to Drs. Gilian Butler and Tony Hope.
1. Decide to Change
2. Use of awareness training
3. Devise strategies to help in stopping the habit
4. Replace the habit with an alternative behavior.
5. Persist by being consistent and keeping track of progress.
6. Learn to manage lapses.
Step 1. Decide to Change:
First and foremost thing about breaking habit is to make a determination that you want to part with the habit and you are most determined to break it. When you think about the disadvantages of the habit, you will be more inclined to do something about it. Also, it is equally important to think about the benefits that you will get, once you break the habit. Imagine the worst possible consequences of going on with your habit and this will motivate you to do something about it. You can nip your habit in the bud by this first step. Some people develop a bad habit of checking things to the point that it becomes obsessional and interferes with normal day to day functioning. Once you become aware of why you want to change this habit, it becomes clear and easy to break it.
Step 2. Use awareness Training:
In order to stop your habit, you need to first be aware that you have a bad habit then only you can stop it. It is also important to understand the detailed description of your habit. For example if you bite nails, you might need to ask, under what circumstances you do it, which finger nail do you usually bite, how does it feel inside when you engage in this type of behavior and so on. You will also need to monitor your habit and get to know the frequency and circumstances when you usually engage in these behaviors. For example, if you pull your hair, do you do it at work, or at home and also know what is going on with you when you do this.
Study your habit record carefully week after week. You will be able to see an emerging pattern and will be able to find out the antecedents of the habit. What triggers your habit? Do you criticize others when you feel attacked? These are environmental triggers that provoke you and make you do these behaviors. Pretty soon they become habits and you don’t even make conscious effort; they happen automatically. Sometimes self monitoring itself reduces the frequency of your habit because you are more aware of it now.
Step 3. Devise Strategies for stopping the habit.
Be on the guard when you are most likely to engage in the bad habit so that you can catch it before it starts. Then try to develop a STOP strategy. When you catch yourself doing a bad habit, stop doing it right away by saying the command of ,”STOP” to yourself. It might be helpful to write the STOP on an index card with colored letters and read this card to stop yourself from hair pulling, nail biting or whatever bad habit you are trying to break. It might be a good idea to seek support from someone else who can observe you and give you the right feedback about your habit breaking intervention. Continue to monitor your habit sheet and reward yourself for success.
IF you feel that your habit is getting worse, do not get discouraged. It is possible that you might see more frequency of your bad habit in the initial stages. It is because you are trying to keep track of something you were doing automatically or it could be because it could trigger more anxiety and tension and the frequency is increased because of the anxiety and tension. This stage does not last too long so do not give up.
Bear with yourself and remain persistent.
Step 4: Replace the Habit with an Alternative Behavior.
When a habit involves the use of a hand, try to occupy the same hand in an alternative activity so that it is incompatible with your habit of hair pulling or nail biting. Playing with a toy or play doh can help or clenching your fist for a couple of minutes, putting on gloves or using a comb can stop the hair pulling habit. These are annoying habits and also very unpleasant in sight, so it is important to make an effort to break them. Additionally, using a hand cream or manicure set can be used to address the nail biting habit.
Sometimes people rub their eyes until they become sore and infected. It might be helpful to wear eye make up so that you will be afraid to touch the eyes for the fear of smearing your make up. It is also a good idea to assess what kinds of feelings generally prompt you to engage in your bad habits. If you know it is tension, anxiety, worry or boredom, then try to do something about it. If you are untidy, then developing good organization skills will help you find things when you need them. If you have a bad habit of interrupting others, then develop good listening skills.
Step 5. Persist on Being Consistent and Keeping Track of Progress.
Consistency and persistence are the two most important steps for habit breaking intervention. If you work hard the first week but then begin to slack, it will not help you reach your goals. You need to be constantly on the go and monitor it in order to weaken the habit. You might experience feelings of let downs and an urge to give up but this will not help you. Make sure you reward yourself for all your efforts and keep thinking of the advantages of breaking the habit. Keep your habit record and become fully aware of the moments when you catch yourself “in the act”.
Step 6: Learn to Manage Lapses
Habits have a tendency to recur until they are fully broken. Since they are automatic, they tend to re emerge. Therefore you will need to make a strong effort to break them fully to avoid this recurrence. If the lapse occurs, try to find out why it occurred and continue to make your efforts to break the habit. The more you try, the better the chances of your habit to disappear. You might want to say, I have dealt with this before and I can do it again. Do not treat this as a relapse. This is just a lapse and you can always pick up the pieces and move on again.
In this way, we see that these six steps will help you break the habit and you will have a better chance to avoid social embarrassment, reduce your anxiety and tension, and live a normal life. Habits can become very addictive and may lead to smoking, drinking and drug abuse. If you do not take care of yourself, you will be living with your bad habits for the rest of your lives. It is important to keep the awareness of your bad habits like obsessional thinking, repetitive mannerisms, twitching, facial grimaces, nail biting, tapping, frowning and many other mannerisms that you automatically do. Some of these are caused by internal tension, cumulative stress, depression, unresolved conflict, repressed feelings of anger, passivity, timidity, and bereavement too.
The good news is that you can address them by following the six easy steps mentioned above. If you are experiencing some of the feelings mentioned earlier, it might be a good idea to seek professional help and address those unresolved feelings. Cognitive behavioral therapy is also an alternative and engaging in mindful meditation can also help relieve the tension and anxiety. Mindfulness therapy is becoming very popular and it is really effective in addressing anxiety and depression which often give rise to these bad habits. Progressive muscle relaxation is also a good technique to feel relaxed. Visualization with guided imagery also helps reduce tension and anxiety
Source: Managing Your Mind by Gillian Butler, PH.D, and Tony Hope, M.D.
Never assume that you’re stuck with the way things are right now. You aren’t.
Things can change if you want them to, at any age. Life changes every single moment, and so can you.[caption id="attachment_613" align="aligncenter" width="500" class=" "] Photo By: Mallory Varnum[/caption]
How to Create and Implement Daily Rituals:
This 7-step process is fairly simple and, if you diligently stick to it, basically infallible:
- Focus on one (and only one) positive change at a time. – You can break this rule, and sadly most people do, but don’t be surprised if you fail because of it. If you try to do too much, nothing gets done right. Implement one positive change and make it a ritual for a month before considering adding to it or starting a second. Only build upon your ritual if you were successful, otherwise stick to it until it feels like second nature to you.
- Start small. – I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but again no one ever does it. Start with a daily ritual that lasts 10 minutes or less. If you feel incredible resistance and fail at 10 minutes, drop it to 5 minutes, or 3 minutes, and then stick to it for a full month.
- Create a trigger that automatically initiates your ritual each day. – A mistake lots of people make is trying to complete their ritual at the same exact time each day – like 8am sharp. The problem is life’s scheduling conflicts often get in the way of a rigid schedule, so on many days the ritual ends up being pushed back until tomorrow. To mitigate this, use something you automatically do every day as the trigger to start your ritual. For example, after you eat breakfast, after you brush your teeth, after you arrive at the office, after you turn on your computer, after you return home and walk through the front door, etc. The exact time doesn’t matter.
- Make a sincere verbal commitment to someone (or multiple people). – Make sure it’s with someone whose opinion you respect. For example, I made a commitment to workout for 30 minutes every day to Angel. I’ve also made commitments to my parents, to close friends, to my son, to readers of our blog, to coaching/course students, to companies I’ve done business with, and more.
- Set up an accountability system with an accountability partner. – Taking my workout example with Angel … each day I have to update a shared Google calendar showing how many minutes I’ve worked out, and she can (and does) check this calendar daily to make sure I’m on track. Your accountability tool of choice doesn’t matter – you can post to Facebook, email someone, or have a 5-minute face-to-face accountability meeting. Just make sure someone is holding you accountable each day, not each week, or each month. And make sure the person is actually checking in with you. If they don’t check in with you, you need to find a different accountability partner.
- Create consequences for slacking off. – The most significant consequence of not following through with your daily ritual is losing the respect of those who you have made a commitment to. But you can create other slightly more fun consequences: Recently I made a promise to a group of friends that I would donate $100 to a political campaign I’m not fond of each time I didn’t follow through with my commitment. I haven’t missed my commitment yet. I’ve also made a promise to eat octopus sushi if I slacked off (and I won’t , because eating raw octopus is repulsive to me – like eating a rat). I’ve promised to sing embarrassing karaoke songs in front of strangers if I failed. The consequences can also be positive – a reward each week if you don’t miss a day, for example. Also, make the consequences more severe if you miss two days straight, and even more severe if you miss three, etc.
- Review and enjoy the daily progress you’re making. – Taking two minutes to reflect on your daily accomplishments each evening is a healthy way to raise self-confidence and contentment. It’s also an effective way to motivate yourself. If you don’t do this, you’ll likely lose track of the fact that you’re moving in the right direction. So keep notes and write down at least one thing you made progress on each day and why it mattered. Do this consistently for a month straight and watch how it affects your happiness and productive output.
That’s it. Ritualize these seven steps, and you’ve got a changed life. I challenge you to put them into action today.
Everyone procrastinates sometimes, but studies says that around 20 percent of people have developed a habit of avoiding difficult tasks and then offering excuses for the same. 90% of you reading this will suffer from ugly habit of procrastination, anything later, anything tomorrow, its not at last date from renewing your card, paying the bills or a master health checkup.
By postponing your health checkup for so long probably that symptom has now grown into a disease that you will have to fight. The first time you’ve found that you face difficulties in moving on to the stairs you could have treated it but this is the result of your procrastination that now you’re a candidate for open heart surgery.
Remember it’s not at all good to procrastinate, things might not be in your favor but the moment you decide to take Inspired Actions You will see a transformation. But if you decide it to procrastinate for any reason, it will trouble you later at a stage when you will have no control over the situation.
When asked, they (Procrastinators) may say that they perform better under pressure, but it is just an excuse they put to justify themselves.
If you’ve found yourself putting off important tasks over and over again, you’re not alone. In fact, many people procrastinate to some extent – but some people are so affected by procrastination that it prevents them from realising their potential.
Now the question is “how to end Procrastination”? I am here to share with you some of the ways to overcome this habit of Procrastination.
1. Bring it on Paper.
You hardly remember what you’ve said. Bringing your goals on paper will help you to execute it well with pre determined set of idea.
2. Start with small targets.
When you set high goals, it becomes easy to procrastinate after few setbacks. You need to break that huge thing into smaller manageable targets. That can be achieved in phases.
3. Work on Visualization:
Visualization triggers your thoughts, Bring it in your routine life. Visualize what you want, where you want to be in days to come. Imagine how you feel when you succeed, imagine what change you could feel when you do not procrastinate. Bring in that feeling of celebrations for what you’ve achieved. Make it bigger, bring it closer, feel what your loved ones are feeling on your success.
4. Use your fear.
Fear is an emotion that can keep you stuck. Remember it’s just an emotion, you can use it the way you want. It has no power to prevent you from taking actions, unless you surrender yourself. Focus on what would be the result if you will not take any action now? You will have nothing except a time wasted. This feeling will trigger you to take required actions to achieve the set target. Remember, wrong actions will take you somewhere but inactions will take you nowhere.
5. Be accountable to yourself:
Make a checklist to cross check at the end of day for what you have planned for the day and what you actually did. Introspecting will help you to you to be focused and on track. With the practice of few days you can make certain changes in the way you report to yourself. You can allot maximum time that you can afford to complete a task. Compare it with actual time you have taken.
6. Give Incentives/Rewards:
Who doesn’t like to be rewarded? Everyone does. So start celebrating what you achieve. Fix somehing as an incentive that motivates you to do more. Like, celebrating weekend after you’ve worked hard whole week, or if you’re a adventure freak, go for a crazy drive or go hiking when you acheive your set target, or a treat for yourself, something that acknowledges your progress and effort.
7. Act NOW:
Beginning of anything could be difficult, but it becomes fruitful with the time and efforts you put. Once you step out of your comfort zone thingsyou will have abundance to achieve. Look out for opprotunities where you can showcase your potential, look for something that can bring out the best of you. Believe me, Immediate decision is the key, because the more you procrastinate the more difficult it will become. So stand Up and take a decision now, to act and to pursue your greatness. You can start with something really small. The pace doesn’t matter s lon as you are moving in the right direction.
Promise Youself that you will not even negotiate this beyond tomorrow. Today is the last day that you had procrastinated anything. Even if you face problem adapting this. face it. But make sure that you MUST adapt it from Now.
Thank You for the Reading and I wish you success.
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Your Thoughts Define what You Do, these triggers you to take actions.
The only thing that can solve your problem is your mindset. You can’t solve problems with the mindset that you created them. The best way to overcome a problem is to grow bigger than the problem. Look beyond is the key.
That’s why constant learning is so important. When you learn – you grow, when you grow you find solutions to your problems.
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6 Foolproof Tips for Finding Focus.
Every single second, our brains take in an incredible amount of information — 11 million bits of information per second to be exact, Joseph Cardillo, Ph.D, writes in his book, Can I Have Your Attention?
How to Think Fast, Find Your Focus, and Sharpen Your Concentration? But we actually pay attention to about 40 bits.
Which is still a lot — particularly if you’re trying to complete or even start a task.
So finding focus can seem like a farfetched feat.
Focus is a skill that we can cultivate. It’s not something that we have or we don’t have. And practice makes perfect (or at least good enough). Below are few tips on attention and focus for finding focus in our distraction laden day and age.
1. Do Creative Work First
The biggest mistake we do is, we do mindless work first and build up to the toughest tasks and this drains your energy and lowers your focus. Initially when we start something or say we sit to study our brain tends to be fresh, this is we can use in most effective way by engaging our brain into things which develop interest and all the tough tasks should be handled in this very initial phase.
“As you move down the track you are left with less energy, irrespective of the work you do”. Remember, every decision we make tires the brain.” So it’s always better to utilize accordingly. Check off the tasks that require creativity or concentration first thing in the morning, and then move on to easier work, start studying in this early phase of the day, Facebook, Wats-app and Instagram etc. can wait.
2. Allocate your time deliberately.
Attention span is the amount of concentrated time on a task without becoming distracted. Most educators and psychologists agree that the ability to focus attention on a task is crucial for the achievement of one’s goals.
With all what I have studies and learned from my experience, studying n number of people personally or through various sources I have found that human’s concentration drastically drops after 45 minutes. This means our brain can work effectively in those 45 minutes, as a result most of you must have faced problems like getting distracted by anything and almost everything after these 45 minutes.
A study has also proved this fact to be true, our brain is at its best for the first 45 minutes, but this doesn’t mean that it cannot work beyond that. This 45 minutes time is an Interval based time, which means we can utilize the best of our brain again after a small break. Remember a lecture in school or college lasts to 40-45 minutes and then comes a break.
Therefore there comes a demand for Time Allocation and that’s why this phase plays a very important role in our life, from the childhood itself we keep on listening the same thing “allocate your time, make a time table” etc
“Don’t try to work for 10 hours straight. Schedule 45 minute blocks with 15 minute breaks. Decide what you are going to accomplish during those 45 minutes, and record what you have done.”
Most people focus best in the morning or late at night, few are best at early mornings whereas many are late night readers.
Therefore the next step for you is to notice where and when you focus best, then allocate your toughest tasks for those moments and clear your head of all thoughts that are not associated with whatever you want to focus on. For example, once you are your study table, forget about everything else, no phone call no messages nothing, these will not fetch you marks.
3. Set Reminders, make them work as Trigger.
According to one study, “concentration improved when people silently repeated the names of loved ones who believed in them immediately before starting a task,” said Palladino.
Therefore, I suggest you to have a memory of past success, anything you achieved in recent past. This will feed your brain regularly with the feeling of success, the happiness you will get the moment you will succeed.
“Remind yourself specifically why it’s worth the effort you are putting in, ask yourself what if you will not achieve what you are trying so hard, why you want it. ” You might envision “your name on a mark-sheet with the marks you want to get, feeling as if you have achieved it or a football hit well enough to score a goal.” Imagine it or draw a picture to get yourself triggered every-time you see this.
4. Use motivating self-talk.
At times you may feel tired doing the same thing again and again, specially studying at a regular interval, most people tends to give up at this point. But, you need to stay determined because you want it so badly; you want to make it happen. A Ninety plus score will make all your efforts fruitful and make you forget the entire struggle you made, the problems you faced.
Tell yourself that yes you can do it, you are capable of achieving this, talk to self. You have come so far for this and now you cannot let it go. I request you all not to ask for suggestions with all those who want you to fail, and trust me you will hardly find someone who want to see you succeed. So, analyze yourself. Only you know yourself better and no one else.
5. Mind your multitasking.
Multitasking can be a brain booster while working on Boring tasks and the same can prove to have a negative effect because of brain plasticity, the ability of the brain to change physically, functionally and chemically throughout life. Brain changes with experiences.
When you’re multitasking, your brain is changing itself to favor divided attention and fragmented thought, rather than concentration and this resists distraction and rebounds from interruption.
I came across many people who claim to be a multi-tasker, they studies along with their chat on and its manageable for them as they say. But somewhere it’s scientifically not good as this distracts the brain as the attention gets divided. This results in failure of not completing any of the tasks or completion with frustration.
While multitasking is an important skill, it also has a downside. “It reduces our
Intelligence, literally dropping our IQ.
So, I want you all to give undivided attention to whatever you do because it’s all what you want and this needs your attention, undivided attention.
6. Assess yourself.
Assessment always proves to be a tool to improve something we really need to.
It’s important for us to assess and evaluate whatever we do on a regular basis, say daily basis. Many people practice this on task basis or weekly basis; it depends on person to person. I myself have suggested people to assess on a daily basis initially as this will help you evaluate better and you will be able to observe your strengths and weak points.
It involves asking yourself a series of questions that will help you in a self-scan. You need to ask these on a frequent basis depending upon the field you are involved in. Below are the questions, taken from Cardillo’s book:
- Where am I at present? (e.g., I’m at an office meeting.)
- What do I want to gain from this situation? Identify your goals in order of importance.
- What should I gain from this situation? Consider what you feel you should gain from the situation. Then examine whether this is different from your desires and how these work to modify your behaviors.
- What have I done in similar situations in the past? Identify your past actions.
- Do I want to change that? Identify any behaviors that you don’t want to repeat.
- If so, how? Identify how you can avoid these actions. Note: Any procedures you create here will, through repetition, become habit, and from there become automatic for future experiences.
- What do others expect to gain from the situation? Identify and prioritize these details.
- What attention does my environment demand from the situation? For example, I can only speak when it is my turn. I have to use professional language.
- What information that is entering my attention should be activated? For example, it may be best if I am calm at this point of a phone call or meeting and if I don’t ask questions.
- What information should be restrained? You can, for instance, hold back frustrations and irrelevant information. For example: teachers and business people may have to convey an emotion that is inconsistent to how they feel (say they are angry or on edge).
Remember that focus is a skill you foster. Try out these techniques, keep what works and keep practicing!
A very common yet important question these days is “How to gain Confidence”? Mere gaining confidence will not serve the purpose, you got to hold it along.
Confidence gained by way of NLP is just as powerful as confidence gained through experience.
Once this is understood, and you master the ability to gain confidence through NLP, it becomes an extremely large source of positivity.
Though confidence is a relatively simple psychological tool that provides great power, so why is it so hard for most people to achieve?
In my opinion, the so called credit goes to the fact that humans spend the first dozen years of their life actively destroying the confidence of all around them.
Some people stop this in their teens, others do this their whole lives.
This is because of the flawed human instinct that you can gain confidence yourself by destroying the confidence of others.
Luckily, this particular flaw can be turned around to work for us using NLP.
How Confidence Works.
Confidence works as a self-fuelling cycle, either for the positive or for the negative. That is why once your confidence is damaged, it can be difficult to send it back on the right path.
Below is an example of a negative confidence cycle.
Let us now focus on the Real Question, How to Gain Confidence using NLP.
Here is a script that can show you how to gain confidence using NLP. You can adapt this script to suit your own purpose.
Step one – Do not hold confidence in a mixed feeling.
If you hold the notion of confidence in awe or fear, you are telling yourself that it is a powerful thing that will be difficult to get. You need to understand that confidence is just a tiny little emotional loop happening in your brain’s limbic system. That is all confidence is! Believe it or not, you have complete power over your confidence right now and at all times.
Step two – Picture confidence as a golden aura around you.
Imagine a very, extremely confident person. This can be anyone, but make it sure that he/she is extremely powerful. Let’s call this imaginary person Robin. Picture him walking up to a group of strangers at a party and start talking with them. They instantly love him, because he is so friendly and confident.
It is clear that Robin knew everyone would love him before he even started speaking.
Picture a golden aura surrounding him that only you can see. This is his confidence.
You can take this aura and bring it over yourself. Feel how the confidence flows around you. Everything feels natural and you are confident to do anything you want.
Step three – Feel how it is to be 100% confident IN A KNOWN SETTING.
While you are doing this, set an NLP Anchor – I suggest pressing your left thumbnail into your left index finger in a pulsing motion. Take a memory where you were doing something you really enjoy and feel safe about. Maybe reading a good book on the beach, or talking to a close friend in a comfortable setting. What can you see? What can you hear? Strongly re-establish the setting around you as vividly as possible.
Describe it to yourself out loud, right now. Pay attention to your posture – do you look relaxed or defensive? How does it feel to be so confident? You feel sure of yourself, relaxed, and you have a feeling of knowing that things are going well.
Make this feeling of confidence as strong and vivid as you can before moving on.
Continue to reinforce this anchor, and every time you feel the confidence, press the anchor again. Each time you do so, let the feeling of confidence double and surge. You must associate the emotional feeling of confidence with the physical sensation of the anchor.
Step four – Feel how it is to be 100% confident IN AN UNKNOWN SETTING.
During this step, whenever there is underlined text, reinforce your confidence anchor by pressing your thumbnail again.
Take the feeling of confidence and keep it flowing as you put yourself in a new, imaginary setting. Picture yourself speaking to strangers with 100% confidence. Picture yourself at the party, walking up to a group of strangers who are talking amongst themselves. You have the confident posture of a confident person. You KNOW that because you are 100% confident, you will get along fine with this group.
As soon as you approach, the strangers smile with their eyes, you FEEL they are interested in you. You start talking and merge right in with their conversation. The group takes you in as one of their own 100% seamlessly. You are not acting differently, you are being yourself, and everyone loves it. Feel how confident you are just being yourself.
Continue to reinforce this anchor, and every time you feel the confidence, press the anchor again. You must associate the emotional feeling of confidence with the physical sensation of the anchor.
Step five – Take a snapshot of yourself in the confident world
What you’ve just done is imagined being yourself and feeling very confident. You now have a memory of yourself in a very confident state.
Even though it is imagined, your unconscious mind cannot tell the difference between an imagined memory and a real memory. In fact, there have been cases where grown-up children have falsely prosecuted parents for child abuse, when in fact the memories were entirely imagined and developed by the probing of incompetent psychiatrists.
I want you to take a snapshot of that memory we’ve just created. Something that encompasses the height of the confident feeling. Now take the snapshot and make it bolder and more vivid. Bring it closer to you, make it larger, the size of a large wall. Make the snapshot detailed and realistic. Feel the feeling of the snapshot, and reinforce the anchor. Make everything as large, bold, and vivid as you possibly can.
Now double it again! Step into the snapshot. Look through your own eyes in that confident setting, feel the confidence as strongly as you can, and reinforce the anchor again. Keep doing this for a good minute or two.
Step six – Use the anchor
Now go use it! Use your anchor and let all the feelings of confidence come flooding in. If it isn’t working very well, then go back to step one and repeat everything. Once you get the hang of this, you’ll truly understand that confidence is a tiny little loop in your mind that you can switch on at will. The logic is undeniable:
- By feeling more confident, you appear more confident.
- By appearing more confident, people react to you in a positive way.
- When people react to you in a positive way, it reinforces your confidence.
- Go to step 1
Guys Being Confident is and will always be Your Choice, its on you if you choose to build or destroy it.
Feel free to add or anything that can make this more relevant.
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Even with the best intentions, many of us believe that our emotions are out of our control, that they happen spontaneously, and that we handle them in a multitude of ways. But in fact, there are four basic ways in which people deal with emotion. Do you recognize any of these? Once you identify your primary strategy for dealing with emotions, you can shift to an approach that truly works for you.
The first defense against negative emotions is avoidance. We all want to avoid difficult or painful emotions. As a result, we tend to avoid any situation that could lead to the emotions we fear, or worse, try not to feel any emotions at all. While avoiding negative situations may protect us in the short term, it also keeps us from feeling the very emotions — connection, energy, excitement — that we desire most.
The second defense against stress is outright denial. When you experience an emotion and try to deny what you’re feeling, your emotions will simply intensify. The pressure will build and what you are trying to ignore will resurface – potentially at an inconvenient time.
The worst addiction facing people today is not drugs, it’s not alcohol, it’s problems. Often, after moving past avoidance and denial, we decide to stop fighting our painful emotions and decide to fully indulge in them. Rather than learn what our feelings are trying to tell us, we get our fix of significance by making our problem worse that everyone else’s. It becomes a “badge of courage,” and we begin to compete with others, saying, “You think you’ve got it bad? Let me tell you how bad I’ve got it!” Do yourself a favor and get your need for significance met for doing something positive rather than for your problems.
Learning and Using
Truth: Problems are gifts. Our biggest problem is we think we shouldn’t have problems. Albert Einstein put it this way, “Crisis is the greatest blessing for people and nations, because crisis brings on progress…He who blames his own failures and difficulties to crisis, rapes his own talent and gives more importance to problems than to solutions.” Leaders use their pain. Find a way to use stress and pain to serve you.
Adapted from- Team Tony.