So you’re really angry and about to Hulk out when you stop yourself and bottle up the rage, shoving it way down deep; you know you’ll still feel angry and unsatisfied, but getting angry is bad. Or maybe you just want to be alone, but you’re afraid people will think you’re antisocial and weird, so you force yourself to go out with a huge crowd, because it’s not healthy to spend much time alone. Right? Or… wrong?
As it turns out, a lot of things that we traditionally consider negative behaviors are actually good for you, so if you feel like doing or feeling any of the seven things on this list, go right ahead — you might be doing yourself a favor.
Crying is part of the healing process; as explained on PBS’s This Emotional Life, the act of crying can both elevate your mood and reduce stress. It’s also cathartic. Instead of viewing tears as something embarrassing or a sign of weakness that should be avoided or suppressed, consider them a healthy part of the grieving process.
Anger helps us protect our own interests and identify the weaknesses and strengths in relationships. According to How Stuff Works, people who use anger to address issues that are bothering them tend to make positive changes, while those who hold their anger in may be more depressed than those who release it. In addition, studies have shown that women who suppress their anger may be more likely to die than those who don’t. So the next time you feel like you should bottle up your rage, think about how you can improve your situation by using that anger to your advantage (as long as you’re not planning on murdering anyone).
3. Being Alone
Loners are often viewed with suspicion, but solitude is often essential for stimulating creativity and self-reflection. Taking the time to be alone, away from constant outside stimulation, helps us process our thoughts and reflect on the experiences we’ve had; being alone can also be a way for some people to recharge. Embrace your fortress of solitude!
4. Not Fitting In
Not everyone needs to be exactly the same — and not everyone is the same. Embracing your individuality will increase your self-confidence and make you proud of your uniqueness; instead of worrying about whether you’re not doing the right things and getting bogged down in all the things you think are “wrong” with you, you’ll be able to move through life with the confidence to step outside the box and do things your way.
Sadness is a critical part of life. Emotions like sadness help us make sense of life’s ups and downs, according to Scientific American, and allow us to grow and understand ourselves better by confronting adversities. Ignoring sadness will not make it go away, nor will it make you better able to deal with future sadness — in fact, forcing yourself to be positive may have an adverse effect, causing us to ignore certain dangers or become complacent and unrealistic. By acknowledging emotions like sadness, we learn to cope with those emotions.
6. Lack Of Direction
“When we are lost, it makes us pay attention to the moment and to our instincts,” says Lifehack. “If you have ever been lost in a big city or a foreign land, you likely also made some wonderful discoveries while trying to find your way.” Being lost — in life as well as literally — allows us to discover things about ourselves we might not have otherwise discovered, and it leads us down different paths than the ones we might have expected to take.
We’re always told to ignore our cravings, to bottle them up and pretend that they don’t exist. But a 2009 study conducted by psychologist David J. Kavanagh of Queensland University of Technology in Australia found that suppressing cravings might actually lead to more. During the study, Kavangh and his colleagues asked people in treatment for alcohol abuse and addiction to complete a questionnaire that assessed their “drinking-related urges and cravings,” as well as any attempts to suppress thoughts related to alcohol over the previous 24 hours. The result? They found that those who often fought against intrusive alcohol-related thoughts actually had more of them. So if you’re trying to push those food cravings aside, for example, you may actually end up doing even more stress eating than if you had just acknowledged that had a craving in the first place.
Nearly every religion tells us that our beliefs determine our behavior. People, even during ancient times when these divine guidebooks were created knew that one’s life is a reflection of how they think. Nowadays, most of us would concur with the passage above. In fact, nearly every religion has a similar passage, demonstrating the uniformity around this belief.
How our thought process is developed is a truly complex topic. It can be simply stated that the process develops in accordance with a number of internal and external factors. As such, we develop various behaviors both positive and negative. People that go through difficult situations in life have their thought process impacted. In turn, this impacts the person’s behavior.
It is important to differentiate the behavior from the person. We believe that a person is greater than the sum of his or her parts. We also believe that pain is often expressed in the form of negative behavior. Further, it is important to understand that ignoring the entire person is not the answer. Instead, develop your inner strength by ignoring the behavior while doing something positive for the person – prayer, a smile, positive energy, etc
Human beings have a flair for the dramatic. We have a flair for the dramatic because drama is everywhere around us – TV, magazines, movies, news, radio, the internet…no matter the outlet, drama is likely to be present.
This overwhelming presence of drama being depicted has resulted in people becoming literally addicted to the behavior. This dramatic behavior is shown in a number of different ways in a number of different places. The co-worker that stirs up rumors, the friend that loves to gossip, the boss that demeans employees, even the spouse or significant other that feels argument is “healthy expression”.
Regardless of the source or severity, dramatic behavior is overwhelmingly negative. Instead of buying into this behavior when it’s directed towards you, conduct yourself with confidence and composure. The stronger the behavior, the more relaxed and positive you should be in response.
Be an example by communicating and expressing yourself peacefully. Don’t allow drama to negatively impact the person you know that you are.
There is only one person that knows your capabilities and what you can achieve – you. Any kind of behavior directed towards you that aims to demean these capabilities and what you intend to achieve should be resisted to the utmost.
Denying or opposing your ambition through naysaying behavior should be considered unacceptable. Never allow the negative and unsubstantiated claims of others to limit how you think about and approach your ambitions, goals and dreams.
This behavior manifests itself in other people’s opinions, presumptions, and other shunning words and actions about something you’re trying to accomplish. Simply put, never buy into this behavior.
Maybe you’ve been in this type of situation. It is important to look beyond this behavior and act confidently and positively in spite of it. Not only will you notice that your confidence is strengthened, but the guilty party will likely change their behavior as well.
Some people are always on the lookout for others that they can use to advance their agenda, whatever that may be, through whatever means possible. This is manipulative behavior in a nutshell.
People that attempt to manipulate often do so by playing on other people’s emotions. They generally don’t trust the logical capabilities of others and seek to “pull the wool over” their eyes. Truly a sad state, but this type of behavior exists.
There is no easy way to detect this behavior, but one way is to look at the person’s track record. Have they been caught in a lie with you or someone else? Do they have a generally negative attitude? Have they spread rumors or gossiped about someone? Do they display predominantly individualistic types of behaviors?
Generally, people that display manipulative behavior display these and other “red flags” that can potentially unveil their capability to manipulate. These individuals also have an egotistical streak, thinking that they are smarter and craftier than anyone else.
Be aware of manipulative behavior by remaining vigilant in your dealings with others. Remain positive and confident while sending positivity and encouragement to these types of individuals. This could be the difference in changing their perspective along with their behavior.
Refusing to listen to others opinion, being adamant that their ideas or desires are the most important, and refusing change are the defining characteristics of stubborn behavior. The truth is that we all display stubborn behavior at times. However, there are people that display this behavior at a magnitude that far exceeds the norm.
As with most other behavioral traits, stubbornness is developed through early negative experiences. Stubbornness can be acquired through a parent’s disposition, violations of trust, and other instabilities displayed throughout childhood.
Regardless of the unfortunate circumstances in which the behavior is acquired, stubbornness is difficult to deal with and comes in many forms – the co-worker that refuses to listen, the parent that constantly judges, or in others who refuse to give you the benefit of the doubt.
The solution is to simply be you around these individuals while directing positivity (in any form) towards them. Above all, don’t respond with any kind of stubborn behavior of your own. Instead, show that you are a trustworthy, compassionate, understanding individual who appreciates the positive things about them.
Impatience can be defined as (1) irritable behavior that results from delays or (2) a restless need for change and excitement. The display of impatient behavior is often tied into someone’s goals; specifically, anything that hinders or aggravates the person in active pursuit of these goals. These goals could range from getting ahead of you at the drive-thru to getting that promotion at work.
As with stubbornness, we all have the tendency to be impatient at times. However, there are some individuals that take impatience to the extreme. These individuals detest being held up at anytime, anywhere, for almost any reason.
Impatience is a trait that develops from early negative experiences, misunderstanding the nature of self and others, and a persistent sense of insecurity. The early negative experiences often happen during childhood. In many cases, the child was often barred from having a normal social experience resulting in a sense of “missing out”.
When dealing with an impatient person, it is important to understand how they “tick.” For example, these individuals prefer to be in control. When they are not in firm control, they become angry, annoyed and frustrated. The best way to deal with the behavior is to be polite but direct. Do not beat around the bush with impatient people; this will get you nowhere.
Direct positivity towards impatient people, but do so in an assertive way while standing up for yourself. Have you ever heard the term “firm but fair?” This certainly applies to dealing with the impatient.
Annoyance is simply the state of being irritated or angered by the actions or behavior of someone else. Being irritated or angered by someone also causes the annoyed person to be distracted, which only adds to the annoyance factor; effectively increasing the possibility of a heated exchange. In this way, annoying behavior is a double-edged sword.
Whether or not a certain behavior is annoying is often a matter of perspective. Some people will find a certain behavior annoying while others will not. Do you have one or more “pet peeves?” Well, most people do not have the same reactions when encountering these behaviors. Annoying behavior is very subjective, which makes sense considering the person has absolutely no idea that their behavior is annoying in most cases.
The best way to deal with any behavior that annoys you is to simply control your emotions. Take a deep breath, let it out slowly, and focus on breathing normally. Understand that the annoying behavior is likely not directed towards you.
You can also practice using one word to set in your mind until the desire to react passes. For example, relax your body, close your eyes and think of the word “calm.” Repeat this word while imagining calm flow through your body from head to toe.
At times, you may need to stand up for yourself. Of course, do so privately and politely, but be firm and direct. Show appreciation for the person, even before the individual agrees to change their behavior. Doing so will drastically increase the likelihood that the behavior will change – at least around you!
Last, but certainly not least, is our own inner critic. Just as the above six behavioral characteristics of others does not necessarily define them, your biggest critic doesn’t necessarily define you.
What you consider flaws are actually marks of individuality. Many of whom we would consider the most beautiful, wealthiest, most privileged people on this planet are incredibly lonely and depressed. Why? Simple – they are always their worst critic despite of these “advantages.” Perfectionism is a myth; there is nothing perfect…and this certainly includes us.
While the previous six behaviors may be difficult to contend with, they don’t hold a stick to self-criticism. It is crucial that you take care of yourself, ignore negative thoughts (“tabloids of the mind”), and accept yourself for who you are.
Surya Namaskar: Making the body a stepping-stone
Surya Namaskar means to bow down to the sun in the morning. The sun is the life source for this planet. In everything that you eat, drink and breathe, there is an element of the sun. Only if you learn how to better “digest” the sun, internalize it, and make it a part of your system, do you truly benefit from this process.
The physical body is a fantastic stepping-stone for higher possibilities, but for most people it functions like a road block. The compulsions of the body do not allow them to go forward. Being in sync with the solar cycle is an important part of balance and receptivity, a means of taking the body to the point where it is no longer a hurdle.
Surya Namaskar: Syncing with the solar cycle
It is quite a complete workout for the physical system – a comprehensive exercise form without any need for equipment
Surya Namaskar, which is known as “Sun Salutation” in English, is essentially about building a dimension within you where your physical cycles are in sync with the sun’s cycles, which run at about twelve-and-a-quarter years. It is not by accident but by intent that it has been structured with twelve postures or twelve asanas in it. If your system is in a certain level of vibrancy and readiness, and in a good state of receptivity, then naturally your cycle will be in sync with the solar cycle.
Young women have an advantage in that they are also in sync with the lunar cycles. It is a fantastic possibility that your body is both connected to the solar cycle and to the lunar cycle. Nature has granted this advantage to a woman because she has been entrusted with the extra responsibility of propagating the human race. So she has been given some extra privileges. But many people don’t know how to handle the extra energy that is generated by that relationship and so they treat it as a curse and even a kind of madness, as evidenced by the word “lunar” turning into “loony.”
Using cycles to go beyond the cyclical
Between the lunar cycle, which is the shortest cycle (a 28-day cycle) and the cycle of the sun, which is over twelve years, there are many other kinds of cycles. The word “cyclical” denotes repetition. Repetition means that in some way it is compulsive. Compulsiveness means it is not conducive for consciousness. If you are very compulsive, you will see that situations, experiences, thoughts and emotions will be cyclical. They keep coming back to you once in six months or eighteen months, three years or six years. If you just look back and see, you will notice this. If they come once in over twelve years, that means your system is in a good state of receptivity and balance. Surya Namaskar is an important process to enable that to happen. The sadhana is always to break the cycle so that there is no more compulsiveness, and you have the right kind of foundation for consciousness.
The physical body is a fantastic stepping-stone for higher possibilities, but for most people it functions like a road block.
The repetitive nature of cyclical movements or systems, which we traditionally refer to as samsara, is the necessary stability for the making of life. If it was all at random, it would not be possible to house a steady life-making machine. So, for the solar system and for the individual person, being rooted in cyclic nature is the firmness and steadiness of life. But once life has reached the level of evolution that human beings have reached, it is natural to aspire not just for stability, but for transcendence. Now, it is left to individual human beings either to remain trapped in the cyclical, which is the basis of stable physical existence, or to use these cycles for physical well being and ride them and go beyond the cyclical.
Maximizing the Benefits of Surya Namaskar
Hatha yoga is about creating a body that will not be a hurdle in your life but a stepping stone towards blossoming into your ultimate possibility. There are a few simple things you can do to prepare your body and get the most out of your practice.
Bathe in cool water to charge the cellular structure
Before starting your practice, take a shower or a bath using water that is a little cooler than room temperature. If a certain volume of water flows over your body, or your body is immersed in water that is cooler than room temperature, the epithelial cells will contract and the intercellular spaces will expand. If you use warm or hot water, the pores of the cells will open up and absorb water – that is not what we want. For the practice of yoga, it is important that the cells contract and the intercellular spaces open up, because we want the cellular structure of the body to be charged with a different dimension of energy. If the cells contract and allow space in between, practicing yoga will charge the cellular structure.
Why some people seem to be far more alive than others is essentially because their cellular structure is more charged. When it is charged with energy, it will remain youthful for a very long time. Hatha yoga is a way to do that. In South India, tap water is generally just a little cooler than room temperature. If you are in a temperate climate, the regular tap water may be too cold. Three to five degrees centigrade below room temperature would be ideal. A maximum of ten degrees centigrade below room temperature would be acceptable – the water should not be colder than that.
Rub sweat into the skin to retain energy
Whether you practice asanas, Surya Namaskar or Surya Kriya – if you start sweating, do not wipe off the sweat with a towel – always rub it back, at least into the exposed parts of your skin. If you wipe off the sweat, you drain the energy that you have generated with the practice. Water has the capability to carry memory and energy. That is why you should not wipe off sweat with a towel, drink water, or go to the bathroom during practice time, unless there is a special situation that makes it absolutely necessary.
And, after practicing yoga, wait a minimum of 1.5 hours before taking a shower – three hours would be even better. Sweating and not showering for two to three hours could be a bit of an olfactory challenge – so just stay away from others!
Learn to consume the right amount of water
After practicing yoga, wait a minimum of 1.5 hours before taking a shower
Learn to just drink as much as the body needs. Unless you are in a desert or you have habits that dehydrate you – such as excessive consumption of caffeine and nicotine – there is no need to constantly sip water. About 70% of the body is water. The body knows how to manage itself. If you drink according to your thirst plus an additional 10%, it will be enough. To give an example – if your thirst is gone after two sips of water, drink 10% more. That will take care of your body’s need for water. Only if you are out in the sun or trekking in the mountains, sweating heavily and losing water rapidly, you need to drink more – not when you are doing yoga under a roof.
As I already said, rub back the sweat as much as possible, but you need not do that all the time. It can drip a bit – just don’t use a towel. Push it back because we don’t want to drain energy – we want to build it up.
From Surya Namaskar to Surya Kriya
Through the practice of Surya Namaskar, if one attains a certain level of stability and mastery over the system, one could then be introduced to a more powerful and spiritually significant process called Surya Kriya. Surya Kriya is the fundamental process. Surya Namaskar is a “country cousin” of Surya Kriya, and there is another process called Surya Shakti, which is a far-off relative. If you want to just use the process as a physical culture to build muscle and become physically strong, you do Surya Shakti. If you want to be physically fit but also want some spiritual element in it, you do Surya Namaskar. But if you want a strong spiritual process, you do Surya Kriya.