Terry Fox was born in Winnipeg, Manitoba, but he was raised in Port Coquitlam, British Columbia. When he was a teen, Terry Fox was very much involved in various sports, but at the age of 18, he was diagnosed with bone cancer, and had to have his right leg amputated above the knee. Right before the operation, Terry read about an amputee who had completed the New York Marathon. He was moved by the man’s courage and determination, and this story ended up being one of the main motivations behind Terry’s ambitious Marathon of Hope. In 1980, he began the Marathon of Hope, a cross-country run to raise money for cancer research. Fox hoped to raise one dollar for each of Canada’s 24 million people.
He began with little fanfare from St. John’s, Newfoundland, in April and ran the equivalent of a full marathon every day. Fox had become a national star by the time he reached Ontario; he made numerous public appearances with businessmen, athletes, and politicians in his efforts to raise money. He was forced to end his run outside of Thunder Bay when the cancer spread to his lungs. His hopes of overcoming the disease and completing his marathon ended when he died nine months later.
Terry never finished his run, stopping near Thunder Bay, Ontario after running 5373 kilometers over 143 days worn out and in need of medical attention as his cancer reappeared in his lungs. Terry passed away at the age of 22 on June 28, 1981. Year 1981 witnessed the first Annual Terry Fox Run, it has involved millions of participants in over 60 countries and presently it is the world’s largest one-day fundraiser for cancer research; over C$500 million has been raised in his name.
Fox was the youngest person ever named a Companion of the Order of Canada. He won the 1980 Lou Marsh Award as the nation’s top sportsman and was named Canada’s Newsmaker of the Year in both 1980 and 1981. Considered a national hero, he has had many buildings, roads and parks named in his honor across the country.
“Everybody seems to have given up hope of trying. I haven’t. It isn’t easy and it isn’t supposed to be, but I’m accomplishing something. How many people give up a lot to do something good. I’m sure we would have found a cure for cancer 20 years ago if we had really tried”
-Fox speaking outside of Ottawa.
Today Fox has become immortal, with a number of statues being carved, he is alive in the heart of millions.
Today movies are being made about Terry. Books have been written. Roads are named after him. Schools and Hospitals are named after him. Terry is the burning example that it does not take various lifetimes to leave a mark, but a single life spent doing something extraordinary. Terry was an ordinary human being with an extraordinary heart. Even though he lived for a short period of 22 years, he did something so great to be remembered for the decades to come.
Takacs spent a month in the hospital depressed at both the loss of his hand, and the end to his Olympic dream. At that point most people would have quit. And they would have probably spent the rest of their life feeling sorry for themselves. Most people would have quit but not Takacs. Takacs was a winner. Winners know that they can’t let circumstances keep them down. They understand that life is hard and that they can’t let life beat them down. Winners know in their heart that quitting is not an option.
Takacs did the unthinkable; he picked himself up, dusted himself off, and decided to learn how to shoot with his left hand! His reasoning was simple. He simply asked himself, “Why not?”
For months Takacs practiced by himself. No one knew what he was doing. Maybe he didn’t want to subject himself to people who most certainly would have discouraged him from his rekindled dream.
When a boxer gets knocked down, he has ten seconds to get back up. If he gets up in eleven seconds, he loses the fight. Remember that next time you get knocked down.
Takacs could have let his terrible accident cause him to become permanently discouraged, to take up heavy drinking, to quit on life all together, and maybe even to end his own life. He could have acted like a loser.
But Takacs made the DECISION to dig deep inside and to find a solution. To pick himself up and to learn to shoot all over again. Winners always search for a solution. Losers always search for an escape.
A very common yet important question these days is “How to gain Confidence”? Mere gaining confidence will not serve the purpose, you got to hold it along.
Confidence gained by way of NLP is just as powerful as confidence gained through experience.
Once this is understood, and you master the ability to gain confidence through NLP, it becomes an extremely large source of positivity.
Though confidence is a relatively simple psychological tool that provides great power, so why is it so hard for most people to achieve?
In my opinion, the so called credit goes to the fact that humans spend the first dozen years of their life actively destroying the confidence of all around them.
Some people stop this in their teens, others do this their whole lives.
This is because of the flawed human instinct that you can gain confidence yourself by destroying the confidence of others.
Luckily, this particular flaw can be turned around to work for us using NLP.
How Confidence Works.
Confidence works as a self-fuelling cycle, either for the positive or for the negative. That is why once your confidence is damaged, it can be difficult to send it back on the right path.
Below is an example of a negative confidence cycle.
Let us now focus on the Real Question, How to Gain Confidence using NLP.
Here is a script that can show you how to gain confidence using NLP. You can adapt this script to suit your own purpose.
Step one – Do not hold confidence in a mixed feeling.
If you hold the notion of confidence in awe or fear, you are telling yourself that it is a powerful thing that will be difficult to get. You need to understand that confidence is just a tiny little emotional loop happening in your brain’s limbic system. That is all confidence is! Believe it or not, you have complete power over your confidence right now and at all times.
Step two – Picture confidence as a golden aura around you.
Imagine a very, extremely confident person. This can be anyone, but make it sure that he/she is extremely powerful. Let’s call this imaginary person Robin. Picture him walking up to a group of strangers at a party and start talking with them. They instantly love him, because he is so friendly and confident.
It is clear that Robin knew everyone would love him before he even started speaking.
Picture a golden aura surrounding him that only you can see. This is his confidence.
You can take this aura and bring it over yourself. Feel how the confidence flows around you. Everything feels natural and you are confident to do anything you want.
Step three – Feel how it is to be 100% confident IN A KNOWN SETTING.
While you are doing this, set an NLP Anchor – I suggest pressing your left thumbnail into your left index finger in a pulsing motion. Take a memory where you were doing something you really enjoy and feel safe about. Maybe reading a good book on the beach, or talking to a close friend in a comfortable setting. What can you see? What can you hear? Strongly re-establish the setting around you as vividly as possible.
Describe it to yourself out loud, right now. Pay attention to your posture – do you look relaxed or defensive? How does it feel to be so confident? You feel sure of yourself, relaxed, and you have a feeling of knowing that things are going well.
Make this feeling of confidence as strong and vivid as you can before moving on.
Continue to reinforce this anchor, and every time you feel the confidence, press the anchor again. Each time you do so, let the feeling of confidence double and surge. You must associate the emotional feeling of confidence with the physical sensation of the anchor.
Step four – Feel how it is to be 100% confident IN AN UNKNOWN SETTING.
During this step, whenever there is underlined text, reinforce your confidence anchor by pressing your thumbnail again.
Take the feeling of confidence and keep it flowing as you put yourself in a new, imaginary setting. Picture yourself speaking to strangers with 100% confidence. Picture yourself at the party, walking up to a group of strangers who are talking amongst themselves. You have the confident posture of a confident person. You KNOW that because you are 100% confident, you will get along fine with this group.
As soon as you approach, the strangers smile with their eyes, you FEEL they are interested in you. You start talking and merge right in with their conversation. The group takes you in as one of their own 100% seamlessly. You are not acting differently, you are being yourself, and everyone loves it. Feel how confident you are just being yourself.
Continue to reinforce this anchor, and every time you feel the confidence, press the anchor again. You must associate the emotional feeling of confidence with the physical sensation of the anchor.
Step five – Take a snapshot of yourself in the confident world
What you’ve just done is imagined being yourself and feeling very confident. You now have a memory of yourself in a very confident state.
Even though it is imagined, your unconscious mind cannot tell the difference between an imagined memory and a real memory. In fact, there have been cases where grown-up children have falsely prosecuted parents for child abuse, when in fact the memories were entirely imagined and developed by the probing of incompetent psychiatrists.
I want you to take a snapshot of that memory we’ve just created. Something that encompasses the height of the confident feeling. Now take the snapshot and make it bolder and more vivid. Bring it closer to you, make it larger, the size of a large wall. Make the snapshot detailed and realistic. Feel the feeling of the snapshot, and reinforce the anchor. Make everything as large, bold, and vivid as you possibly can.
Now double it again! Step into the snapshot. Look through your own eyes in that confident setting, feel the confidence as strongly as you can, and reinforce the anchor again. Keep doing this for a good minute or two.
Step six – Use the anchor
Now go use it! Use your anchor and let all the feelings of confidence come flooding in. If it isn’t working very well, then go back to step one and repeat everything. Once you get the hang of this, you’ll truly understand that confidence is a tiny little loop in your mind that you can switch on at will. The logic is undeniable:
- By feeling more confident, you appear more confident.
- By appearing more confident, people react to you in a positive way.
- When people react to you in a positive way, it reinforces your confidence.
- Go to step 1
Guys Being Confident is and will always be Your Choice, its on you if you choose to build or destroy it.
Feel free to add or anything that can make this more relevant.
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Even with the best intentions, many of us believe that our emotions are out of our control, that they happen spontaneously, and that we handle them in a multitude of ways. But in fact, there are four basic ways in which people deal with emotion. Do you recognize any of these? Once you identify your primary strategy for dealing with emotions, you can shift to an approach that truly works for you.
The first defense against negative emotions is avoidance. We all want to avoid difficult or painful emotions. As a result, we tend to avoid any situation that could lead to the emotions we fear, or worse, try not to feel any emotions at all. While avoiding negative situations may protect us in the short term, it also keeps us from feeling the very emotions — connection, energy, excitement — that we desire most.
The second defense against stress is outright denial. When you experience an emotion and try to deny what you’re feeling, your emotions will simply intensify. The pressure will build and what you are trying to ignore will resurface – potentially at an inconvenient time.
The worst addiction facing people today is not drugs, it’s not alcohol, it’s problems. Often, after moving past avoidance and denial, we decide to stop fighting our painful emotions and decide to fully indulge in them. Rather than learn what our feelings are trying to tell us, we get our fix of significance by making our problem worse that everyone else’s. It becomes a “badge of courage,” and we begin to compete with others, saying, “You think you’ve got it bad? Let me tell you how bad I’ve got it!” Do yourself a favor and get your need for significance met for doing something positive rather than for your problems.
Learning and Using
Truth: Problems are gifts. Our biggest problem is we think we shouldn’t have problems. Albert Einstein put it this way, “Crisis is the greatest blessing for people and nations, because crisis brings on progress…He who blames his own failures and difficulties to crisis, rapes his own talent and gives more importance to problems than to solutions.” Leaders use their pain. Find a way to use stress and pain to serve you.
Adapted from- Team Tony.