There’s nothing worse than a rich person who’s chronically angry or unhappy. There’s really no excuse for it, yet I see this phenomenon every day. It results from an extremely unbalanced life, one with too much expectation and not enough appreciation for what’s there.
Without gratitude and appreciation for what you already have, you’ll never know true fulfillment. But how do you cultivate balance in life? What’s the point of achievement if your life has no balance?
For nearly four decades, I’ve had the privilege of coaching people from every walk of life, including some of the most powerful men and women on the planet. I’ve worked with presidents of the United States as well as owners of small businesses.
If you make these decisions unconsciously, you’ll end up like majority of people who tend to be out of shape physically, exhausted emotionally and often financially stressed. But if you make these decisions consciously, you can literally change the course of your life today.
Decision 1: Carefully choose what to focus on.
At every moment, millions of things compete for your attention. You can focus on things that are happening right here and now or on what you want to create in the future. Or you can focus on the past.
Where focus goes, energy flows. What you focus on and your pattern for doing so shapes your entire life.
Which area do you tend to focus on more: what you have or what’s missing from your life?
I’m sure you think about both sides of this coin. But if you examine your habitual thoughts, what do you tend to spend most of your time dwelling on?
Rather than focusing on what you don’t have and begrudging those who are better off than you financially, perhaps you should acknowledge that you have much to be grateful for and some of it has nothing to do with money. You can be grateful for your health, family, friends, opportunities and mind.
Developing a habit of appreciating what you have can create a new level of emotional well-being and wealth. But the real question is, do you take time to deeply feel grateful with your mind, body, heart and soul? That’s where the joy, happiness and fulfillment can be found.
Consider a second pattern of focus that affects the quality of your life: Do you tend to focus more on what you can control or what you can’t?
If you focus on what you can’t control, you’ll have more stress in life. You can influence many aspects of your life but you usually can’t control them.
When you adopt this pattern of focus, your brain has to make another decision.
Decision 2: Figure out, What does this all mean?
Ultimately, how you feel about your life has nothing to do with the events in it or with your financial condition or what has (or hasn’t) happened to you. The quality of your life is controlled by the meaning you give these things.
Most of the time you may be unaware of the effect of your unconscious mind in assigning meaning to life’s events.
When something happens that disrupts your life (a car accident, a health issue, a job loss), do you tend to think that this is the end or the beginning?
If someone confronts you, is that person insulting you, coaching you or truly caring for you?
Does a devastating problem mean that God is punishing you or challenging you? Or is it possible that this problem is a gift from God?
Your life takes on whatever meaning you give it. With each meaning comes a unique feeling or emotion and the quality of your life involves where you live emotionally.
I always ask during my seminars, “How many of you know someone who is on antidepressants and still depressed?” Typically 85 percent to 90 percent of those assembled raise their hands.
How is this possible? The drugs should make people feel better. It’s true that antidepressants do come with labels warning that suicidal thoughts are a possible side effect.
But no matter how much a person drugs himself, if he constantly focuses on what he can’t control in life and what’s missing, he won’t find it hard to despair. If he adds to that a meaning like “life is not worth living,” that’s an emotional cocktail that no antidepressant can consistently overcome.
Yet if that same person can arrive at a new meaning, a reason to live or a belief that all this was meant to be, then he will be stronger than anything that ever happened to him.
When people shift their habitual focus and meanings, there’s no limit on what life can become. A change of focus and a shift in meaning can literally alter someone’s biochemistry in minutes.
So take control and always remember: Meaning equals emotion and emotion equals life. Choose consciously and wisely. Find an empowering meaning in any event, and wealth in its deepest sense will be yours today.
Once you create a meaning in your mind, it creates an emotion, and that emotion leads to a state for making your third decision:
Decision 3: What will you do?
The actions you take are powerfully shaped by the emotional state you’re in. If you’re angry, you’re going to behave quite differently than if you’re feeling playful or outrageous.
If you want to shape your actions, the fastest way is to change what you focus on and shift the meaning to be something more empowering.
Two people who are angry will behave differently. Some pull back. Others push through.
Some individuals express anger quietly. Others do so loudly or violently. Yet others suppress it only to look for a passive-aggressive opportunity to regain the upper hand or even exact revenge.
Where do these patterns come from? People tend to model their behavior on those they respect, enjoy and love.
The people who frustrated or angered you? You often reject their approaches.
Yet far too often you may find yourself falling back into patterns you witnessed over and over again in your youth and were displeased by.
It’s very useful for you to become aware of your patterns when you are frustrated, angry or sad or feel lonely. You can’t change your patterns if you’re not aware of them.
Now that you’re aware of the power of these three decisions, start looking for role models who are experiencing what you want out of life. I promise you that those who have passionate relationships have a totally different focus and arrive at totally different meanings for the challenges in relationships than people who are constantly bickering or fighting.
It’s not rocket science. If you become aware of the differences in how people approach these three decisions, you’ll have a pathway to help you create a permanent positive change in any area of life.
This piece was adapted from Tony Robbins’ new book, Money Master the Game: 7 Simple Steps to Financial Freedom.
It is through meditation the integration of the personality – the blending of the physical, the mental, the intellectual and the spiritual are made into one harmonious whole.
Meditation is the highest spiritual discipline.
Through meditation one comes to experience peace within and without and the mind grows up to view life as a whole.
It starts with the practice of detaching ourselves from our body, mind, and intellect, and impartially estimating the motives, intentions and purposes that lie behind our thoughts, words and deeds.
This Process of analyzing and evaluating ourselves is called Introspection.
The process is simple and understandable yet it is no easy feat to accomplish.
Self – analysis and self-criticism are hard and relentless tasks. Humans can commit a mistake but will never accept it; a few might accept what they did wrong. It takes Lot of Courage to blame self.At every stage, our self-conceit and egoistic self-congratulations would cover our faults and shortcomings, and invest them with a false charm. No one can easily understand himself as he is; he may be a very intelligent and acute critic of men and their actions. Even to the best of us, it is a trial and a severe challenge to be asked to observe ourselves.
The contrast between ‘what we actually are’ and ‘what we believe ourselves to be’ is the first great hurdle to be jumped over by every spiritual aspirant.
Introspection or self-analysis is the only means to relieve this initial blockade.
Invariably, self-examination reveals the personality under report to be a WRETCH, a bundle of negative values, false hopes, self-polluting thoughts, low passions, animal urges, and impossible dreams -, in short, there is in our inner life a good deal of Mr. Hyde ; conceited, deluded, steeped in endless arrogance, laughable stupidities , and reprehensible brutalities !! To apprehend this champion within us , engaged in endless fights, is to discover in us an ugly , pathetic, creature who fights and looks, kills and cooks, earns and hoards, acquires and multiplies — all only to delude himself with some impermanent and incomplete satisfaction.
Once one has thus discovered oneself through correct self-analysis, the battle is already won. It is a ticklish task to apprehend the devils lurking within; but, once detected in their dark corners, many of them would take to their heels without even as much as a show of fight! Only a few — an insignificant few indeed– may probably remain to grin and cut a grotesque caper! But, if the aspirant has the required will and courage to have confidence in his own strength, it will not be long before he crosses the moat and captures the castle of divine Life.
Introspection reveals many a sad weaknesses in every one of us. He alone, who has the honesty of purpose and the heroism to cleanse his minds of all its animalism by placing those negative worldly tendencies of living with the positive divine principles of existence, is the true inheritor of the Life Divine.
More will be out soon on Introspection.
Practice it to feel the Transformation.